100 Hours
Page 43
Neda has found her calling, and after all the years she’s spent pining for a career in modeling, I’m surprised that it’s radio.
Thinking about Neda makes me miss my dad. I don’t care if he’s nagging me to try that disgusting protein powder his trainer got him hooked on or trying to talk me into going to his alma mater. I just want to hear his voice.
When the show comes back on the air, Neda teases the exclusive interview, then shares several short, funny stories about the Miami Six, no doubt intended to cement her personal connection to the crisis. She tells the world how Penelope can do a back tuck on a four-inch wide balance beam, but won’t walk over a street grate because she’s afraid it’ll collapse and dump her into the sewer. How Holden handed out gourmet muffins to the poor, without mentioning that his community service was court-ordered.
“And Genesis . . .” Neda’s voice breaks with emotion, and my eyes water. “Genesis is my best friend, and if it weren’t for her, I’d still be out there like everyone else, only crippled by my recent injury. She’s the one who arranged for me to be airlifted out of the jungle, and . . .” Her voice cracks again, and the DJ suggests another break.
But I can’t stop thinking about what she said. Nico is the one who got Neda out of the jungle. I just paid for her ride. Like my father, I threw money at the problem, even when the problem was one of my best friends.
Indiana takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.
Neda comes back on the air, and I hold my breath as she introduces Amanda Goh. Penelope looks close to tears, and I let go of Indiana’s hand to go comfort her. But then Holden puts his arm around her, and I remember that she chose him over our friendship.
“Please give our daughter back to us,” Mrs. Goh begs over the radio, her voice half choked with tears. “We’ve raised just over a million dollars.” Probably donated by people who remember watching Penelope Goh take Olympic silver on the uneven bars. She’s an American hero, and her fans will do anything to bring her home.
Penelope presses the heels of her hands to her eyes to hold back tears. She’s been doing that since she failed to place in her very first gymnastics meet, when she was six.
“One million for the little acrobat!” Silvana stands near the fire pit closest to the headquarters tent, her arms raised in victory.
Wait. I practically offered to write Sebastián a blank check, and she’s ready to celebrate over a mere million?
“We’ll send it wherever you want,” Mrs. Goh adds. “However you want it. Just please call. Please tell us how to get Penelope back.”
“What?” Silvana spins around with a look so furious I catch my breath.
The radio goes to another commercial break, but no one’s listening anymore because Silvana is on the warpath.
She marches across the clearing, and men move out of her way. “Why doesn’t she know where to send the money, Sebastián?” Silvana demands. “Why haven’t you called in the ransoms?”
MADDIE
Luke holds a branch out of the path for me, but won’t make eye contact. He hasn’t looked directly at me or said a word since we packed up after lunch. Since we kissed.
He seemed like he was into it, but now I’m afraid I ruined everything. I need to fix it. But I have no idea how.
“Hey.” I nudge his shoulder. “What’s up with you?”
Luke stiffens, and I want to take it all back. Obviously the direct approach was a mistake.
But then static crackles from the two-way radio clipped to his waist, and we both stop, frozen. Staring at each other in tense silence while we wait.
The static fades into nothing, but Luke is still looking right at me. “Why did you kiss me, Maddie?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. I’ve never made the first move before. I should have known better, after Benard. After Sebastián. Kissing hasn’t turned out well for me so far, and I don’t want to mess things up with Luke.
But he’s looking at me like his whole life is riding on whatever I say next, and that’s terrifying in a completely different way than having a gun pointed at my head.
“Um . . . It was a thank you. For the marshmallow. And for hiking through the jungle with me. For burying my brother. For hitting Moisés with a rock.”
“That was just a thank you?” He sounds wounded. Does he want me to tell him that he’s funny and sweet? That I saw him looking down at me with the stream gurgling, the fire crackling, and the birds chirping all around us, and I just wanted to touch him? That I hadn’t given it any real thought?
And suddenly I understand my mistake.
“That came out wrong. It wasn’t just a thank you.”
Luke scruffs his cap over his curls and his focus drops to his feet. “You know I like you. You have to know that. Right?”
“I . . . yeah, I guess.” I shrug. “I mean, you’re here.”
“Maddie, I’m here because you need help, and because combining our skill sets gives us a better chance of surviving the jungle than we’d have on our own. But you don’t owe me anything. Especially not . . . that.” His flush extends down his neck and beneath his collar. “That’s not what I wanted.”
“You didn’t want me to kiss you?” The thought makes my throat feel raw.
“That’s not what I meant.” He shifts his pack on his shoulders and finally looks at me again. “I’m just saying I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t need any incentive to be here.”
My cheeks flame and I close my eyes. Is that what he thinks I was doing? Manipulating him to keep him around? Like I’m no different than Genesis.
Is he right?
I replay the memory of our kiss, filling each ambiguous moment with self-doubt.
No. My eyes fly open. I don’t use people.
“I’m not trying to bribe you, Luke.” I swipe at my damp eyes with both hands. I can’t handle any more complications right now. This is life and death. I need to focus. “If that’s what you think, I don’t even want you here.”
“Whoa, Maddie, I never said that.” Luke reaches for me, but I back away from him. “I just don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it. And you don’t mean it.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth! You don’t know what I mean!” I don’t even know what I mean. “All I know is that everything was miserable. Then you gave me a marshmallow and made me laugh, and everything was a little less miserable.” I swipe both hands over my face again, hoping he won’t notice how damp my eyes are. “But you’re right. Everything is really hard right now, and I shouldn’t have complicated that by kissing you.” I turn and continue down the trail. “Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”
Thinking about Neda makes me miss my dad. I don’t care if he’s nagging me to try that disgusting protein powder his trainer got him hooked on or trying to talk me into going to his alma mater. I just want to hear his voice.
When the show comes back on the air, Neda teases the exclusive interview, then shares several short, funny stories about the Miami Six, no doubt intended to cement her personal connection to the crisis. She tells the world how Penelope can do a back tuck on a four-inch wide balance beam, but won’t walk over a street grate because she’s afraid it’ll collapse and dump her into the sewer. How Holden handed out gourmet muffins to the poor, without mentioning that his community service was court-ordered.
“And Genesis . . .” Neda’s voice breaks with emotion, and my eyes water. “Genesis is my best friend, and if it weren’t for her, I’d still be out there like everyone else, only crippled by my recent injury. She’s the one who arranged for me to be airlifted out of the jungle, and . . .” Her voice cracks again, and the DJ suggests another break.
But I can’t stop thinking about what she said. Nico is the one who got Neda out of the jungle. I just paid for her ride. Like my father, I threw money at the problem, even when the problem was one of my best friends.
Indiana takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.
Neda comes back on the air, and I hold my breath as she introduces Amanda Goh. Penelope looks close to tears, and I let go of Indiana’s hand to go comfort her. But then Holden puts his arm around her, and I remember that she chose him over our friendship.
“Please give our daughter back to us,” Mrs. Goh begs over the radio, her voice half choked with tears. “We’ve raised just over a million dollars.” Probably donated by people who remember watching Penelope Goh take Olympic silver on the uneven bars. She’s an American hero, and her fans will do anything to bring her home.
Penelope presses the heels of her hands to her eyes to hold back tears. She’s been doing that since she failed to place in her very first gymnastics meet, when she was six.
“One million for the little acrobat!” Silvana stands near the fire pit closest to the headquarters tent, her arms raised in victory.
Wait. I practically offered to write Sebastián a blank check, and she’s ready to celebrate over a mere million?
“We’ll send it wherever you want,” Mrs. Goh adds. “However you want it. Just please call. Please tell us how to get Penelope back.”
“What?” Silvana spins around with a look so furious I catch my breath.
The radio goes to another commercial break, but no one’s listening anymore because Silvana is on the warpath.
She marches across the clearing, and men move out of her way. “Why doesn’t she know where to send the money, Sebastián?” Silvana demands. “Why haven’t you called in the ransoms?”
MADDIE
Luke holds a branch out of the path for me, but won’t make eye contact. He hasn’t looked directly at me or said a word since we packed up after lunch. Since we kissed.
He seemed like he was into it, but now I’m afraid I ruined everything. I need to fix it. But I have no idea how.
“Hey.” I nudge his shoulder. “What’s up with you?”
Luke stiffens, and I want to take it all back. Obviously the direct approach was a mistake.
But then static crackles from the two-way radio clipped to his waist, and we both stop, frozen. Staring at each other in tense silence while we wait.
The static fades into nothing, but Luke is still looking right at me. “Why did you kiss me, Maddie?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. I’ve never made the first move before. I should have known better, after Benard. After Sebastián. Kissing hasn’t turned out well for me so far, and I don’t want to mess things up with Luke.
But he’s looking at me like his whole life is riding on whatever I say next, and that’s terrifying in a completely different way than having a gun pointed at my head.
“Um . . . It was a thank you. For the marshmallow. And for hiking through the jungle with me. For burying my brother. For hitting Moisés with a rock.”
“That was just a thank you?” He sounds wounded. Does he want me to tell him that he’s funny and sweet? That I saw him looking down at me with the stream gurgling, the fire crackling, and the birds chirping all around us, and I just wanted to touch him? That I hadn’t given it any real thought?
And suddenly I understand my mistake.
“That came out wrong. It wasn’t just a thank you.”
Luke scruffs his cap over his curls and his focus drops to his feet. “You know I like you. You have to know that. Right?”
“I . . . yeah, I guess.” I shrug. “I mean, you’re here.”
“Maddie, I’m here because you need help, and because combining our skill sets gives us a better chance of surviving the jungle than we’d have on our own. But you don’t owe me anything. Especially not . . . that.” His flush extends down his neck and beneath his collar. “That’s not what I wanted.”
“You didn’t want me to kiss you?” The thought makes my throat feel raw.
“That’s not what I meant.” He shifts his pack on his shoulders and finally looks at me again. “I’m just saying I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t need any incentive to be here.”
My cheeks flame and I close my eyes. Is that what he thinks I was doing? Manipulating him to keep him around? Like I’m no different than Genesis.
Is he right?
I replay the memory of our kiss, filling each ambiguous moment with self-doubt.
No. My eyes fly open. I don’t use people.
“I’m not trying to bribe you, Luke.” I swipe at my damp eyes with both hands. I can’t handle any more complications right now. This is life and death. I need to focus. “If that’s what you think, I don’t even want you here.”
“Whoa, Maddie, I never said that.” Luke reaches for me, but I back away from him. “I just don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it. And you don’t mean it.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth! You don’t know what I mean!” I don’t even know what I mean. “All I know is that everything was miserable. Then you gave me a marshmallow and made me laugh, and everything was a little less miserable.” I swipe both hands over my face again, hoping he won’t notice how damp my eyes are. “But you’re right. Everything is really hard right now, and I shouldn’t have complicated that by kissing you.” I turn and continue down the trail. “Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”
