A Blaze of Sun

Page 17

“Camilla isn’t Claudia, Yuri…”
“What’s the difference between them?” I remember the day Yuri told me Claudia’s tragic story and how they got back together. I could see why he thought that our story was similar to theirs, but it wasn’t.
Claudia had been a prostitute, just like her mother. She experienced abuse from a cruel man, and was a broken, untrusting creature.
“You know what broke Claudia, Yuri. You understood the depths of her brokenness. You saw why she was broken firsthand. You admit yourself that you contributed to her brokenness when you used her that first night.”
Yuri’s lips twitched at the recollection of the night Claudia was brought to him in a mask and he found out only after sleeping with her that she was the girl he was in love with.
“You can’t fix something if you don’t know what’s broken.” I grimaced at the thought of Camilla never actually letting me in. She never opened up her past to me. She never allowed me to help her heal. I looked up at the vampire I was having a conversation with. “You had to wait hundreds of years before the woman you love came around. I can’t wait that long. I will never become immortal like you. I don’t ever want to be.”
“The way I see it, Aiden.” Yuri smirked knowingly. “You are mortal. You only have this one lifetime, a few decades at best, to be with the woman you love and I think that’s what’s bothering you. You still love Camilla – even if you don’t know what broke her. It doesn’t make a difference whether or not you know the reasons behind why a person is broken, Aiden. We’re all broken. The question is can you still love her and trust her in spite of that brokenness?”
“I did that for a full decade and still, she left. Camilla left me. She left her daughter.”
“Well, I did it for centuries and still, Claudia left. Love doesn’t have to be returned in order for it to be true, Aiden. When she came crawling back, don’t you think I wanted to make her suffer? I wanted to see her cry upon losing me. I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. But I chose to love her. I made the choice to forgive her and take her back. Part of me is still afraid that she’ll go back to the way she was, but at least I’ll have this moment in time, this period, when I can say that the woman I love shows me that she loves me in return. Don’t miss out on that, Aiden.”
I stared at Yuri, a man who was turned into a vampire in his early twenties, which was half my age. I wondered where all the wisdom was coming from, only to remember that Yuri might look young physically, but he was actually giving me centuries’ worth of experience.
I took a long puff from my cigarette, not knowing what to say.
“So what are you going to do?” Yuri asked after a long silence.
I scoffed at the question, “After that long-winded speech of yours, what choice do I have other than to see Camilla?”
Yuri laughed and I realized that as much as I hated to admit it, I actually considered this vampire my friend.
Chapter 18: Ingrid
I began to hold my breath the moment Aiden entered my cell. Yuri tossed him a wooden stake as he approached – a safety measure.
The vampire winked at me. “Be careful, Camilla. Word is that he’s pretty good with one of those things.”
I smirked, unable to look at Aiden in the eye. “He won’t need it unless the only reason he’s here is to attempt to kill me, Yuri.”
“I don’t think he’s here for that.” Yuri grinned. “Don’t get yourself into more trouble than you’re already in, Camilla.” Yuri nodded his head at both of us before leaving.
With Yuri gone, I forced myself to look at Aiden. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the stone wall, wooden stake secure in his grip, green eyes glaring at me. “What game are you playing now, Ingrid?” He cocked his head to the side. “Or should I start calling you Camilla like everyone else?”
As far as I was concerned, I had only one chance to get this right, and I wasn’t about to spend it playing games or beating around the bush so I asked Aiden the one question I wanted to hear the answer to. “Do you still love me, Aiden?”
A muscle on his jaw twitched. He was quiet for what felt like an eternity as he gave it thought. I was almost sure that the silence meant no. When he spoke up, I wished he’d just kept his silence. “It doesn’t really matter whether I love you or not, Ingrid, because you were right. I love our daughter more.”
He couldn’t have possibly known how much those words stung, but I reeled in my temper and kept my cool. I couldn’t afford to break down. I knew what the stakes were and I wasn’t going to spoil this one chance that I had. “I guess I deserve that.”
“I will never understand how, for nine years, you raised someone as strong-spirited and as kindhearted a person as Sofia.”
I swallowed hard, wondering how many more insults I would have to endure.
“How about you, Ingrid? Do you still love me?”
“If I said yes, would you believe me?”
To my relief, he nodded, “Yes, but you see… that’s where we’re the same. We love something else more. I love Sofia more than I love you. You love power more than you love me.”
The truth was like a splash of cold water and all I could do was hang my head in shame. I couldn’t deny it, because for the past decade, I’d been living controlled by my thirst for power.
“You found yourself powerless the moment Borys Maslen died. You must hate Sofia even more for killing him, don’t you?”
Aiden was making me feel vulnerable. I hated that he seemed to be seeing right through me. I hated knowing that I couldn’t manipulate him, because he knew me far too well.
“Sofia did the right thing. Borys Maslen does not deserve to live and with his demise, you became what you always were, Ingrid. A weakling. You have all this power as a vampire, but then you’re now held captive in an island that is not your own by a coven who has vampires centuries older and far more powerful than you. You gave up your husband and your daughter, your whole life, for nothing, Ingrid. I hope you realize that.” He scoffed. “It must kill you to think that after everything you gave up, it means nothing to be Ingrid Maslen anymore. You’re just as powerless as Ingrid as you were Camilla. Maybe you’re right… Maybe I should start calling you Camilla once again… to remind you of everything you lost.”
I was hoping that he was done, that he wasn’t going to continue this diatribe of his, simply because I couldn’t take any more of the truth, so when he opened his mouth in order to speak some more, I couldn’t help but drop my docile act and glare at him. “Enough. I don’t want to hear any more, Aiden. Shut up or I swear you’ll regret it.”
He seemed amused by my change of countenance. “There you go. That’s it, Camilla.” He said my human name as if it was a taunt he could use to jab me in the heart whenever he pleased. “Stop pretending that you want to be a wife to her husband and a mother to her daughter. That’s not you. Stop trying to fool us with this docile act you’re trying to put on. You’ve been Ingrid Maslen for too long to convince us that this is real.”
He was taunting me, making a joke out of me, turning me into his entertainment. I wouldn’t have it. I swore a long time ago that I would never allow a man to treat me that way again. Before I could keep myself from doing it, I attacked Aiden. I had him pinned to a wall, ready to bite into his neck, only to find his wooden stake pointed at my heart.
He smiled. “Do it, Ingrid. Take a bite. Drink my blood. Make no mistake about it. I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
I looked into his green eyes wondering if he was bluffing, wondering if he could really drive that stake into my heart. Either way, he’d already been stabbing my heart with his words from the moment he arrived at my cell.
Despite all my attempts to keep it from happening, tears began to brim my eyes and stream down my cheeks. I was still in love with Aiden, and it hurt that we had reached this point – this point when we were both willing to hurt each other – even kill each other. I still bluffed, poising myself to bite into his neck. I could feel the pointed end of his stake sink into my skin.
I shut my eyes and shook my head. I couldn’t do it. I could bluff as much as I wanted to, but I knew that I couldn’t possibly drink Aiden’s blood. I could tell that he knew it too. I pulled away from him, hating the way my body was trembling as I backed down.
I could feel his stare on me as he heaved one breath after another. “Give me one good reason why I should trust you again, Ingrid. Why should I open my heart to you again? Why should I think that Camilla is still somewhere deep inside your bloodthirsty self?”
One good reason. I tried to hold back the sobs, but I couldn’t. Still, despite the way my body was shaking, I managed to answer his question. “Because you want to, Aiden. You want to trust me. More than that, I need you to trust me.” My life and yours hang in the balance.
He stared at me for what felt like hours, studying me, maybe trying to figure out what I was saying, what my game was. “Okay, Camilla…” He nodded. “I’ll play whatever game this is. You really want me to trust you? Oh wait…” he mocked me “…not want… you need me to trust you. Is that right?”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I just lifted my eyes in order to meet his cold, mocking glare. I would’ve given anything at that moment to once again have him look at me the way he did before I became a vampire.
Aiden began to nod slowly. “Fine. I will trust you on one condition, Camilla.”
“What is it?” I didn’t think he could ask something of me that I couldn’t give. I was desperate enough to add confidently, “I will do anything.”
“Bare yourself completely to me. Tell me about your past. Tell me why you’re so broken. Tell me what you never had the guts to tell me before. Let me in, Camilla. I want to know everything.”