A Court of Wings and Ruin
Page 40
“If you bring that male anywhere near her, I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” Cassian crooned, trailing her at a casual pace as she stopped perhaps five feet from me. He lifted a brow as she whirled on him. “You won’t join me for practice, so you sure as hell aren’t going to hold your own in a fight. You won’t talk about your powers, so you certainly aren’t going to be able to wield them. And you—”
“Shut your mouth,” she snapped, every inch the conquering empress. “I told you to stay the hell away from me, and if you—”
“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.”
Nesta’s nostrils flared. Cassian only gave her a crooked grin.
I cut in, “If Elain is not up for it, then she won’t see him. I won’t force the meeting on her. But he does wish to see her, Nesta. I’ll ask on his behalf, but the decision will be hers.”
“The male who sold us out to Hybern.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Well, it will certainly be more complicated when Father returns and finds us gone. What do you plan to tell him about all this?”
“Seeing as he hasn’t sent word from the continent in months, I’ll worry about that later,” I sniped back. And thank the Cauldron for it—that he was off trading in some lucrative territory.
Nesta only shook her head, turning toward the chair and her book. “I don’t care. Do what you want.”
A stinging dismissal, if not admission that she still trusted me enough to consider Elain’s needs first. Rhys jerked his chin at Cassian in a silent order to leave, and as I followed them, I said softly, “I’m sorry, Nesta.”
She didn’t answer as she sat stiffly in her chair, picked up her book, and dutifully ignored us. A blow to the face would have been better.
When I looked ahead, I found Cassian staring back at Nesta as well.
I wondered why no one had yet mentioned what now shone in Cassian’s eyes as he gazed at my sister.
The sorrow. And the longing.
The suite was filled with sunlight.
Every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible.
As if any bit of darkness was abhorrent. As if to chase it away.
And seated in a small chair before the sunniest of the windows, her back to us, was Elain.
Where Nesta had been in contented silence before we found her, Elain’s silence was … hollow.
Empty.
Her hair was down—not even braided. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen it unbound. She wore a moon-white silk dressing robe.
She did not look, or speak, or even flinch as we entered.
Her too-thin arms rested on her chair. That iron engagement ring still encircled her finger.
Her skin was so pale it looked like fresh snow in the harsh light.
I realized then that the color of death, of sorrow, was white.
The lack of color. Of vibrancy.
I left Cassian and Rhys by the door.
Nesta’s rage was better than this … shell.
This void.
My breath caught as I edged around her chair. Beheld the city view she stared so blankly at.
Then beheld the hollowed-out cheeks, the bloodless lips, the brown eyes that had once been rich and warm, and now seemed utterly dull. Like grave dirt.
She didn’t so much as look at me as I said softly, “Elain?”
I didn’t dare reach for her hand.
I didn’t dare get too close.
I had done this. I had brought this upon them—
“I’m back,” I added a bit limply. Uselessly.
All she said was, “I want to go home.”
I closed my eyes, my chest unbearably tight. “I know.”
“He’ll be looking for me,” she whispered.
“I know,” I said again. Not Lucien—she wasn’t talking about him at all.
“We were supposed to be married next week.”
I put a hand on my chest, as if it’d stop the cracking in there. “I’m sorry.”
Nothing. Not even a flicker of emotion. “Everyone keeps saying that.” Her thumb brushed the ring on her finger. “But it doesn’t fix anything, does it?”
I couldn’t get enough air in. I couldn’t—I couldn’t breathe, looking at this broken, carved-out thing my sister had become. What I’d robbed her of, what I’d taken from her—
Rhys was there, an arm sliding around my waist. “Can we get you anything, Elain?” He spoke with such gentleness I could barely stand it.
“I want to go home,” she repeated.
I couldn’t ask her—about Lucien. Not now. Not yet.
I turned away, fully prepared to bolt and completely fall apart in another room, another section of the House. But Lucien was standing in the doorway.
And from the devastation on his face, I knew he’d heard every word. Seen and heard and felt the hollowness and despair radiating from her.
Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light.
Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been.
And now nothing remained.
CHAPTER
16
Rhysand silently led Lucien to the suite he’d be occupying at the opposite end of the House of Wind. Cassian and I trailed behind, none of us speaking until my mate opened a set of onyx doors to reveal a sunny sitting room carved from more red stone. Beyond the wall of windows, the city flowed far below, the view stretching to the distant jagged mountains and glittering sea.
Rhys paused in the center of a midnight-blue handwoven rug and gestured to the sealed doors on his left. “Bedroom.” He waved a lazy hand toward the single door on the opposite wall. “Bathing room.”
Lucien surveyed it all with cool indifference. What he felt about Elain, what he planned to do … I didn’t want to ask.
“I assume you’ll need clothes,” Rhys went on, nodding toward Lucien’s filthy jacket and pants—which he’d worn for the past week while we scrambled through territories. Indeed, that was … blood splattered in several spots. “Any preferences for attire?”
“You’ll what?” Cassian crooned, trailing her at a casual pace as she stopped perhaps five feet from me. He lifted a brow as she whirled on him. “You won’t join me for practice, so you sure as hell aren’t going to hold your own in a fight. You won’t talk about your powers, so you certainly aren’t going to be able to wield them. And you—”
“Shut your mouth,” she snapped, every inch the conquering empress. “I told you to stay the hell away from me, and if you—”
“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.”
Nesta’s nostrils flared. Cassian only gave her a crooked grin.
I cut in, “If Elain is not up for it, then she won’t see him. I won’t force the meeting on her. But he does wish to see her, Nesta. I’ll ask on his behalf, but the decision will be hers.”
“The male who sold us out to Hybern.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Well, it will certainly be more complicated when Father returns and finds us gone. What do you plan to tell him about all this?”
“Seeing as he hasn’t sent word from the continent in months, I’ll worry about that later,” I sniped back. And thank the Cauldron for it—that he was off trading in some lucrative territory.
Nesta only shook her head, turning toward the chair and her book. “I don’t care. Do what you want.”
A stinging dismissal, if not admission that she still trusted me enough to consider Elain’s needs first. Rhys jerked his chin at Cassian in a silent order to leave, and as I followed them, I said softly, “I’m sorry, Nesta.”
She didn’t answer as she sat stiffly in her chair, picked up her book, and dutifully ignored us. A blow to the face would have been better.
When I looked ahead, I found Cassian staring back at Nesta as well.
I wondered why no one had yet mentioned what now shone in Cassian’s eyes as he gazed at my sister.
The sorrow. And the longing.
The suite was filled with sunlight.
Every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible.
As if any bit of darkness was abhorrent. As if to chase it away.
And seated in a small chair before the sunniest of the windows, her back to us, was Elain.
Where Nesta had been in contented silence before we found her, Elain’s silence was … hollow.
Empty.
Her hair was down—not even braided. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen it unbound. She wore a moon-white silk dressing robe.
She did not look, or speak, or even flinch as we entered.
Her too-thin arms rested on her chair. That iron engagement ring still encircled her finger.
Her skin was so pale it looked like fresh snow in the harsh light.
I realized then that the color of death, of sorrow, was white.
The lack of color. Of vibrancy.
I left Cassian and Rhys by the door.
Nesta’s rage was better than this … shell.
This void.
My breath caught as I edged around her chair. Beheld the city view she stared so blankly at.
Then beheld the hollowed-out cheeks, the bloodless lips, the brown eyes that had once been rich and warm, and now seemed utterly dull. Like grave dirt.
She didn’t so much as look at me as I said softly, “Elain?”
I didn’t dare reach for her hand.
I didn’t dare get too close.
I had done this. I had brought this upon them—
“I’m back,” I added a bit limply. Uselessly.
All she said was, “I want to go home.”
I closed my eyes, my chest unbearably tight. “I know.”
“He’ll be looking for me,” she whispered.
“I know,” I said again. Not Lucien—she wasn’t talking about him at all.
“We were supposed to be married next week.”
I put a hand on my chest, as if it’d stop the cracking in there. “I’m sorry.”
Nothing. Not even a flicker of emotion. “Everyone keeps saying that.” Her thumb brushed the ring on her finger. “But it doesn’t fix anything, does it?”
I couldn’t get enough air in. I couldn’t—I couldn’t breathe, looking at this broken, carved-out thing my sister had become. What I’d robbed her of, what I’d taken from her—
Rhys was there, an arm sliding around my waist. “Can we get you anything, Elain?” He spoke with such gentleness I could barely stand it.
“I want to go home,” she repeated.
I couldn’t ask her—about Lucien. Not now. Not yet.
I turned away, fully prepared to bolt and completely fall apart in another room, another section of the House. But Lucien was standing in the doorway.
And from the devastation on his face, I knew he’d heard every word. Seen and heard and felt the hollowness and despair radiating from her.
Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light.
Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been.
And now nothing remained.
CHAPTER
16
Rhysand silently led Lucien to the suite he’d be occupying at the opposite end of the House of Wind. Cassian and I trailed behind, none of us speaking until my mate opened a set of onyx doors to reveal a sunny sitting room carved from more red stone. Beyond the wall of windows, the city flowed far below, the view stretching to the distant jagged mountains and glittering sea.
Rhys paused in the center of a midnight-blue handwoven rug and gestured to the sealed doors on his left. “Bedroom.” He waved a lazy hand toward the single door on the opposite wall. “Bathing room.”
Lucien surveyed it all with cool indifference. What he felt about Elain, what he planned to do … I didn’t want to ask.
“I assume you’ll need clothes,” Rhys went on, nodding toward Lucien’s filthy jacket and pants—which he’d worn for the past week while we scrambled through territories. Indeed, that was … blood splattered in several spots. “Any preferences for attire?”
