A Love Letter to Whiskey
Page 50
I squealed, unable to contain my excitement as I shook his hand ferociously. Everything I’d worked for that summer came to fruition in a room full of people who’d doubted me from the moment I walked through the door. I couldn’t believe it, even as Randall dropped my hand and gripped my shoulder firmly with a proud smile.
My mind scanned reasons to decline, but came up empty. I was still completing my online M.S. Degree in Publishing: Digital and Print Media from PSU and I loved Pittsburgh. Rye Publishing was one of the top publishing houses, and I had no other offers lined up. Nothing was keeping me from staying, except for the clawing notion that it meant more time away from someone really important to me. But if he felt for me the way he said he did, he would understand. He’d be happy for me.
And so I smiled, and accepted my first job offer — one I’d earned on my own.
“I don’t even know what to say, Mr. Godsby. Thank you. And I’d be honored to join the Rye team full-time.”
“Huzzah!” River joked, grabbing one of the flutes of champagne from Mona and handing it to me. Even she was smiling — and that was saying something. “A toast, to the new Rye Rookie.”
“Cheers!” Everyone’s voices rang out at once and we tipped our plastic flutes together. Then, it was business as usual, everyone slowly making their way back to their desks or meeting rooms.
“Does that happen every time someone is hired?”
River shrugged. “Every time they’re promoted, yes.”
A slow grin found its way to my face as I let that sink in. A promotion. I’d been promoted after just two months as an intern. River’s hand reached up to squeeze my shoulder before he passed by me, and I stood there with my champagne, smiling like an idiot.
“You can get back to work now, rookie,” Mona said, plopping down into her chair and tapping at her keyboard immediately. She cocked a brow and gave me a small smile of her own. “And congrats.”
“Thanks, Mona.”
I sort of danced my way back to my desk, full from the sandwich and the love from my new team. I had a job — a real job — and I’d earned it. Nothing could bring me down.
But when I sat back in my chair and grabbed my phone to text Mom, I remembered the phone call I’d be having in just a few short hours. With Jamie.
And I’d have to tell him I’m staying in the city.
I DECIDED TO PICK UP a nice bottle of whiskey on my way home.
I was celebrating, after all — even if a part of me didn’t feel like it, knowing the phone conversation I’d be having soon. After the high recommendation from the liquor store owner, I ended up with a bottle of Whipper Snapper Project Q. It was an Australian whiskey, one I’d never tried or even heard of before, and I liked the name of it. It reminded me of what my dad’s dad used to call me when I was younger, especially when I was being smart with him. I’d paid way too much for it, and like the bad ass I convinced myself I was, I poured it neat. Then, I sat down on my small couch with the nighttime view of Market Square and dialed Jamie’s number.
I took my first sip as the phone rang, and though the whiskey burned, it was surprisingly smooth. I hissed a breath through my teeth, but knew that after that first glass, it’d be easy as water to drink.
“B?”
There was a hint of desperation in his voice, and it warmed my heart.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
He blew out a breath, long and steady, and then he started speaking. “Okay, I just need you to sit there and listen to me for a minute, okay? I know you’re scared of us, of what we’ve been in the past and what we might not be in the future. I know you’re standing on your own for the first time and you’re proud of that, hell I’m proud of that too, but I can stand with you.”
“Jamie—”
“And I know long distance freaks you out, but we’ve made it through the summer practically as a long distance couple, even if we didn’t title it that.” I couldn’t argue that point, but still — was it the fact that the pressure of a title wasn’t there that allowed us to survive? “I’ve been thinking. Your internship is almost over, and I’ve been looking at some publishing places in Miami. A lot of them are hiring, and you have experience now. Your classes are online, B. You could come home, we could be together.”
“Jamie, I—”
“No, just let me finish. I know this is a lot to ask. You don’t owe me anything, and the fact that I’m asking you to uproot yourself and move back for me is selfish as fuck. But I realized last time you walked away from me, I didn’t ask you anything at all. So this time, I’m putting it out there — I’m letting you know what I want. I want you. I want you to move back, hell to move in.” He laughed, and I could feel his bright smile through the phone. It only tore my heart into yet another piece. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. We can do this, B.”
“I’m staying.”
“Jenna’s here, too. And your mom. And—”
“Jamie, I’m staying in Pittsburgh,” I said louder. “They offered me a full-time job. Today.”
Silence fell between us, and I picked up my glass slowly, taking another longer pull of the whiskey.
“Okay,” he breathed the word out slowly. “That’s okay. We can see each other once a month, take turns flying, and eventually we’ll figure it out.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” my voice broke with the words. “You have your dad’s firm there. And I have my life here.” Life was a little strong of a word, considering work was my life in Pittsburgh, but I’d moved to the city with a fire in my eyes and I was already making a name for myself. Thinking about complicating that with a long-distance relationship gave me hives, and hearing him say “eventually we’ll figure it out” didn’t help. What did that mean? We both knew he was never leaving his dad’s firm, which meant that he expected me to “eventually figure it out” and move back home.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t have a life together, too.”
I paused a beat, heart breaking a little at how wrong he was. “But it kind of does, Jamie. It all sounds so easy when you say it over the phone, but a long-distance relationship is hard. It’s complicated and messy and neither of us needs that right now, not when we’re both just getting started in our careers. It’s just not the right time for us…” I shook my head. “It’s never the right time.”
My mind scanned reasons to decline, but came up empty. I was still completing my online M.S. Degree in Publishing: Digital and Print Media from PSU and I loved Pittsburgh. Rye Publishing was one of the top publishing houses, and I had no other offers lined up. Nothing was keeping me from staying, except for the clawing notion that it meant more time away from someone really important to me. But if he felt for me the way he said he did, he would understand. He’d be happy for me.
And so I smiled, and accepted my first job offer — one I’d earned on my own.
“I don’t even know what to say, Mr. Godsby. Thank you. And I’d be honored to join the Rye team full-time.”
“Huzzah!” River joked, grabbing one of the flutes of champagne from Mona and handing it to me. Even she was smiling — and that was saying something. “A toast, to the new Rye Rookie.”
“Cheers!” Everyone’s voices rang out at once and we tipped our plastic flutes together. Then, it was business as usual, everyone slowly making their way back to their desks or meeting rooms.
“Does that happen every time someone is hired?”
River shrugged. “Every time they’re promoted, yes.”
A slow grin found its way to my face as I let that sink in. A promotion. I’d been promoted after just two months as an intern. River’s hand reached up to squeeze my shoulder before he passed by me, and I stood there with my champagne, smiling like an idiot.
“You can get back to work now, rookie,” Mona said, plopping down into her chair and tapping at her keyboard immediately. She cocked a brow and gave me a small smile of her own. “And congrats.”
“Thanks, Mona.”
I sort of danced my way back to my desk, full from the sandwich and the love from my new team. I had a job — a real job — and I’d earned it. Nothing could bring me down.
But when I sat back in my chair and grabbed my phone to text Mom, I remembered the phone call I’d be having in just a few short hours. With Jamie.
And I’d have to tell him I’m staying in the city.
I DECIDED TO PICK UP a nice bottle of whiskey on my way home.
I was celebrating, after all — even if a part of me didn’t feel like it, knowing the phone conversation I’d be having soon. After the high recommendation from the liquor store owner, I ended up with a bottle of Whipper Snapper Project Q. It was an Australian whiskey, one I’d never tried or even heard of before, and I liked the name of it. It reminded me of what my dad’s dad used to call me when I was younger, especially when I was being smart with him. I’d paid way too much for it, and like the bad ass I convinced myself I was, I poured it neat. Then, I sat down on my small couch with the nighttime view of Market Square and dialed Jamie’s number.
I took my first sip as the phone rang, and though the whiskey burned, it was surprisingly smooth. I hissed a breath through my teeth, but knew that after that first glass, it’d be easy as water to drink.
“B?”
There was a hint of desperation in his voice, and it warmed my heart.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
He blew out a breath, long and steady, and then he started speaking. “Okay, I just need you to sit there and listen to me for a minute, okay? I know you’re scared of us, of what we’ve been in the past and what we might not be in the future. I know you’re standing on your own for the first time and you’re proud of that, hell I’m proud of that too, but I can stand with you.”
“Jamie—”
“And I know long distance freaks you out, but we’ve made it through the summer practically as a long distance couple, even if we didn’t title it that.” I couldn’t argue that point, but still — was it the fact that the pressure of a title wasn’t there that allowed us to survive? “I’ve been thinking. Your internship is almost over, and I’ve been looking at some publishing places in Miami. A lot of them are hiring, and you have experience now. Your classes are online, B. You could come home, we could be together.”
“Jamie, I—”
“No, just let me finish. I know this is a lot to ask. You don’t owe me anything, and the fact that I’m asking you to uproot yourself and move back for me is selfish as fuck. But I realized last time you walked away from me, I didn’t ask you anything at all. So this time, I’m putting it out there — I’m letting you know what I want. I want you. I want you to move back, hell to move in.” He laughed, and I could feel his bright smile through the phone. It only tore my heart into yet another piece. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. We can do this, B.”
“I’m staying.”
“Jenna’s here, too. And your mom. And—”
“Jamie, I’m staying in Pittsburgh,” I said louder. “They offered me a full-time job. Today.”
Silence fell between us, and I picked up my glass slowly, taking another longer pull of the whiskey.
“Okay,” he breathed the word out slowly. “That’s okay. We can see each other once a month, take turns flying, and eventually we’ll figure it out.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” my voice broke with the words. “You have your dad’s firm there. And I have my life here.” Life was a little strong of a word, considering work was my life in Pittsburgh, but I’d moved to the city with a fire in my eyes and I was already making a name for myself. Thinking about complicating that with a long-distance relationship gave me hives, and hearing him say “eventually we’ll figure it out” didn’t help. What did that mean? We both knew he was never leaving his dad’s firm, which meant that he expected me to “eventually figure it out” and move back home.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t have a life together, too.”
I paused a beat, heart breaking a little at how wrong he was. “But it kind of does, Jamie. It all sounds so easy when you say it over the phone, but a long-distance relationship is hard. It’s complicated and messy and neither of us needs that right now, not when we’re both just getting started in our careers. It’s just not the right time for us…” I shook my head. “It’s never the right time.”
