A Loving Scoundrel
Page 37
Heddings snorted. “It’s who she is, Malory, that matters.”
“Who is she then?”
Heddings seemed surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”
“She doesn’t know.”
Heddings started laughing again. “Now that’s rich. Almost makes this worth it, to know that.”
“Who is she?”
“If I knew, do you really think I’d tell you?” Heddings sneered.
“Not a chance. That information would go with me to the graveif I knew, recompense, as it were.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m done talking to you.” And to the constables, Heddings said, “Get me out of here, or get him out of here. I really don’t care which.”
Jeremy considered trying to talk his way into a few minutes alone with Heddings, but he didn’t think it would work at that point. And besides, he was sure now that no matter what he said or did to Heddings, the man wouldn’t cooperate.
He was forced to return to Danny with the bad news. She’d been ordered to stay in bed the rest of the day. One of the guests was a doctor. He’d packed her neck with cold cloths and given her a balm to soothe her throat. A maid was there to change the cloths as they warmed. Jeremy sent her out of the room, closing the door after her.
Danny sat up, asked hopefully, “What did he say?”
Jeremy sat on the bed next to her, cupped her cheek with his hand. “Does it really matter who you are, luv? You’ve gone through life this long without knowing.”
She slumped back on her pillow. “You’re right, it’s not important.”
“I didn’t say that—”
“No, really, you’re right. It’s not like I have family or anybody waiting on me to come home. If I did, they would have looked for me, wouldn’t they? Or Miss Jane would have mentioned taking me home, but she never said anything about going back, which would indicate there was nothing to go back to. So he wouldn’t tell you who I am?”
“No.”
“But he knows! I know he knows. I saw it in his eyes, his expression. It fairly bowled him over to see me standing there in the hall.”
“I don’t doubt he does know, but he’s decided it’s a fitting revenge to keep it to himself. After all, we were personally responsible for his downfall. He’s going to prison because of us.”
“What if you promised to get the charges dismissed for him?”
He smiled gently. “It’s too late for that. There’s a house full of witnesses here who know he tried to kill you, several of them who’ve been robbed in the past and are sure now that he was responsible, after Amy’s jewelry was found on him. Besides, he was already under suspicion, has been for many years now. There’d just been no proof to charge him with. We supplied the proof.”
Jeremy would be trying again though, he just didn’t want to get Danny’s hopes up, in case he failed. But he’d give Heddings a few weeks to realize just how much trouble he was in, then dangle the offer of reduced charges in exchange for the information he wanted.
She sighed. “Well, at least you accomplished what you came here for.”
“And nearly got you killed.”
She flinched at the admonishing tone. “I was only going to detain him. You were taking too long to get up here,” she admonished right back. “He could have dumped the jewels, and then where would you be?”
“I’d be fine. And you’d be without bruises around your neck.”
She frowned at him. “How was I to know he’d recognize me and attack me for something that had nothing to do with the jewels he’d just stolen? What were the bleeding odds of that, eh?”
He grinned. “Nothing I would have bet on. Now get some rest. We’ll go home in the morning.”
“I’d rather go home now. I’m fine. Don’t I sound fine? Just a few little bruises to show for my folly. I’d rather get back to work than lie here and dwell on what I could have learned today.”
Put that way, he had to agree.
Chapter 47
DANNY WAITED FOUR MORE DAYS, long enough for the last of the tenderness to leave her neck. She didn’t want any discomforts slowing her down. She was also waiting for Jeremy to be gone from the house for more than just a few hours, and Percy helped her out there. He came by that week to invite Jeremy to some horse races that were taking place a good hour’s drive away from London. She didn’treally think he would try to stop her from leaving, but she wasn’t taking any chances, which was why she didn’t want him to know about it until she was long gone.
As soon as Jeremy left the house that morning for the races, Danny went to her room to gather up her few belongings. It didn’t take her long. She would have left the ball gown, since it was too bulky to lug about the city for very long, but Mrs. Robertson’s seamstress wasn’t that far away and she figured she could get a few extra coppers for it from her, maybe even a few pounds. Every little bit was going to be needed until she got a new job.
She didn’t think it would take long this time, though, finding a job. She had experience now, and her speech had improved so much, she didn’t even slip anymore when she was nervous. She could probably get another maid’s job in this part of town, but that would be too close to Jeremy. The middle-class area of the city would do her just fine and be the easier place to find a husband, too, maybe even a gentleman, at least a man who wasn’t so lordly it’d be unthinkable for him to marry a servant.
She wished she could write Jeremy a note. She didn’t want to go without leaving him an explanation. That was going to be a new goal for her. As soon as she could afford it, she was going to find herself a tutor to at least teach her to read and write. As an alternative, she dragged Claire to her room for a few minutes to leave a message with her.
“It’s time for me to move on,” she told her friend. “I’ll be spending a few nights at my old home, if they’ll let me, while I look for a new job. Or I’ll rent a flat.”
“Why must you go?” Claire complained. “We’d only just got to be friends.”
“That won’t end with my going. I’ll keep in touch. I might even come visit from time to time.” Danny wouldn’t, couldn’t afford to risk seeing Jeremy again after she was gone. “Or better yet, you can come visit me. I’ll let you know where I get settled.”
Claire sighed, but then asked suspiciously, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Danny shook her head. “No, I was lucky in that regard. But that would become an issue if I stayed longer. And although I don’t think he’d try to take the baby from me, I’d have an even harder time leaving with one.”
“So why leave at all?”
“Because I’ve fallen in love with the man, Claire, and he’s tempting me to put my goals aside for him.”
“He doesn’t know you’re leaving, does he?”
“Of course not. He’d have no trouble talking me out of it. He’s good at that, talking circles around me. So don’t be telling him where I’m going. But I do want to leave him a message, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Certainly.”
“Tell him for me that I said thank you for improving my lot, that I’m much more confident now that my goals will be realized.”
Claire raised a brow. “You really think he’s going to want to hear that? Or doesn’t he know what your goals are?”
“You’re right, scratch that second part. Tell him instead that I’ll miss him, but I have to get on with my life. And tell him—” She had to pause, was feeling her throat close up. “Tell him I don’t regret being his friend.”
“Eh?”
“He’ll understand. Now I have to go. Watch over my pets for me?”
“You’re not taking them?”
“Only Twitch. The other two, he shouldn’t have given to me in the first place.” Danny hugged Claire. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss all of you.”
“Bloody hell, I think I’m going to cry. Go on then, if you’re going. And good luck.”
Danny ran upstairs one last time before she left. Jeremy had warned her never to touch it again, but too bad, she was taking her old hat with her. Not to wear. It would look silly with her skirts. But it was hers, and she wasn’t leaving anything behind.
She paused in his room to give it one last look. She touched his bed, his pillow. The tears started.
She didn’t want to leave. She’d said it to Claire, but that was the first time she’d put it into words. She loved Jeremy Malory. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She thought she’d be able to leave before it did. But it was too late. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Jeremy. He could fulfill all her dreams—if he would.
And, dear God, what if he would? How could she leave without finding out?
It would mean confronting him and spilling her guts, and risking what she’d feared, that he’d try to talk her out of going. He couldn’t. Her resolve was firm now. But it would rip her up if he tried, make it that much harder…
Danny waited, went through an agony of indecision. But in the end, that tiny hope that Jeremy loved her, too, enough to defy convention and marry her, kept her there until he got home.
She let Claire know that she wouldn’t have to give him any messages for her after all, and why. “You’ve got more courage than I would have under the same circumstances,” Claire said. “Good luck, Danny.”
She didn’t need luck, she needed her one small hope to be realized.
Jeremy returned in time for lunch. Percy was with him. They were laughing as they entered the house. Danny savored the image from where she stood in the doorway to the parlor. She wasn’t holding her sack; it was on the floor just inside the doorway where she could grab it quickly.
It must have been her expression, though, that made Jeremy’s expression turn serious and tell Percy, “Run along to the kitchen and let them know you’re hungry, old man. I’ll be along shortly.” He approached Danny then, put his hand on her cheek. “What’s wrong, luv?”
She stepped away from him, moving back into the parlor. She wasn’t going to be able to say what she had to if he was touching her. He followed her into the room. He was going to reach for her again. She put up a hand to stop him.
“I’m leaving, Jeremy.”
“I just got home. Where are you off to?”
She realized he’d been drinking, for him to mistake her meaning like that. But he wasn’t foxed. Jeremy Malory was incapable of getting drunk.
“I’m not going out on an errand. I’m leaving for good.”
“The devil you are. It’s too soon.”
“Actually, I shouldn’t have stayed this long. But don’t misunderstand. I don’t regret my time here with you, not a’tall. I—I’ll miss you.” She had to pause, was feeling her throat close up. “But I have to get on with my life.”
“Don’t do this, Danny.”
“Then give me a reason to stay! Living my life sharing only half of yours isn’t what I want for myself. I want a real family, and children who aren’t bastards. I won’t get either here unless you marry me.”
There, she’d said it, put her heart on the table.
And he said nothing.
Even his expression was inscrutable for once. For a man with such telling eyes? Thatwas his answer. He wasn’t going to remind her that marriage wasn’t for him. He was sparing her that. God, what a fool she’d been, to grasp and cling to such a small hope!
She wasn’t sure how she got out of there without bursting into tears in front of him. But no sooner was she out of the house than the tears began in earnest. Thinking about leaving just wasn’t the same as walking out the door and realizing she’d never see Jeremy Malory again.
Chapter 48
IT TOOKDANNYa few extra hours to find where Dagger had moved the pack to. She knew the right people to ask. Back in the old neighborhoods, it was amazing how many people didn’t recognize her at first. A few did and were dumbfounded, but most didn’t recognize her at all, had to be reminded, and she’d known these people most of her life!
Had she changed that much? Probably. And it wasn’t just the female attire. She was walking boldly into the most crime-ridden area of the city, confident that she could deal with any trouble that came her way.
Dagger was home. So was Lucy, who squealed in delight when she saw Danny walk in the door. A few of the children were also there and demanded an equal share of her attention. It was a good ten minutes before she thought to look at Dagger to judge his reaction.
He’d said nothing yet. And he was just staring at her, as if he didn’t recognize her either. But heknew she was a woman now, so he was probably trying to figure out how he’d missed that fact all these years.
Finally he said in a gruff voice, “Ye can’t stay ’ere. There’s a dangerous fellow looking for ye in these neighborhoods who means ye ’arm.”
“Yes, I know.” Danny moved to join him at the same old kitchen table where he could usually be found. That table always traveled with him. And she realized now that he treated it like his office, or his throne. He gave all his orders there, dictated his rules. He should have an office, a real one.
She said as much. “You should have an office, Dagger. Why did you never turn one of the bedrooms into one?”
He snorted. “Like we ever ’ave spare bedrooms. And don’t be changing the subject.”
“Who is she then?”
Heddings seemed surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”
“She doesn’t know.”
Heddings started laughing again. “Now that’s rich. Almost makes this worth it, to know that.”
“Who is she?”
“If I knew, do you really think I’d tell you?” Heddings sneered.
“Not a chance. That information would go with me to the graveif I knew, recompense, as it were.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m done talking to you.” And to the constables, Heddings said, “Get me out of here, or get him out of here. I really don’t care which.”
Jeremy considered trying to talk his way into a few minutes alone with Heddings, but he didn’t think it would work at that point. And besides, he was sure now that no matter what he said or did to Heddings, the man wouldn’t cooperate.
He was forced to return to Danny with the bad news. She’d been ordered to stay in bed the rest of the day. One of the guests was a doctor. He’d packed her neck with cold cloths and given her a balm to soothe her throat. A maid was there to change the cloths as they warmed. Jeremy sent her out of the room, closing the door after her.
Danny sat up, asked hopefully, “What did he say?”
Jeremy sat on the bed next to her, cupped her cheek with his hand. “Does it really matter who you are, luv? You’ve gone through life this long without knowing.”
She slumped back on her pillow. “You’re right, it’s not important.”
“I didn’t say that—”
“No, really, you’re right. It’s not like I have family or anybody waiting on me to come home. If I did, they would have looked for me, wouldn’t they? Or Miss Jane would have mentioned taking me home, but she never said anything about going back, which would indicate there was nothing to go back to. So he wouldn’t tell you who I am?”
“No.”
“But he knows! I know he knows. I saw it in his eyes, his expression. It fairly bowled him over to see me standing there in the hall.”
“I don’t doubt he does know, but he’s decided it’s a fitting revenge to keep it to himself. After all, we were personally responsible for his downfall. He’s going to prison because of us.”
“What if you promised to get the charges dismissed for him?”
He smiled gently. “It’s too late for that. There’s a house full of witnesses here who know he tried to kill you, several of them who’ve been robbed in the past and are sure now that he was responsible, after Amy’s jewelry was found on him. Besides, he was already under suspicion, has been for many years now. There’d just been no proof to charge him with. We supplied the proof.”
Jeremy would be trying again though, he just didn’t want to get Danny’s hopes up, in case he failed. But he’d give Heddings a few weeks to realize just how much trouble he was in, then dangle the offer of reduced charges in exchange for the information he wanted.
She sighed. “Well, at least you accomplished what you came here for.”
“And nearly got you killed.”
She flinched at the admonishing tone. “I was only going to detain him. You were taking too long to get up here,” she admonished right back. “He could have dumped the jewels, and then where would you be?”
“I’d be fine. And you’d be without bruises around your neck.”
She frowned at him. “How was I to know he’d recognize me and attack me for something that had nothing to do with the jewels he’d just stolen? What were the bleeding odds of that, eh?”
He grinned. “Nothing I would have bet on. Now get some rest. We’ll go home in the morning.”
“I’d rather go home now. I’m fine. Don’t I sound fine? Just a few little bruises to show for my folly. I’d rather get back to work than lie here and dwell on what I could have learned today.”
Put that way, he had to agree.
Chapter 47
DANNY WAITED FOUR MORE DAYS, long enough for the last of the tenderness to leave her neck. She didn’t want any discomforts slowing her down. She was also waiting for Jeremy to be gone from the house for more than just a few hours, and Percy helped her out there. He came by that week to invite Jeremy to some horse races that were taking place a good hour’s drive away from London. She didn’treally think he would try to stop her from leaving, but she wasn’t taking any chances, which was why she didn’t want him to know about it until she was long gone.
As soon as Jeremy left the house that morning for the races, Danny went to her room to gather up her few belongings. It didn’t take her long. She would have left the ball gown, since it was too bulky to lug about the city for very long, but Mrs. Robertson’s seamstress wasn’t that far away and she figured she could get a few extra coppers for it from her, maybe even a few pounds. Every little bit was going to be needed until she got a new job.
She didn’t think it would take long this time, though, finding a job. She had experience now, and her speech had improved so much, she didn’t even slip anymore when she was nervous. She could probably get another maid’s job in this part of town, but that would be too close to Jeremy. The middle-class area of the city would do her just fine and be the easier place to find a husband, too, maybe even a gentleman, at least a man who wasn’t so lordly it’d be unthinkable for him to marry a servant.
She wished she could write Jeremy a note. She didn’t want to go without leaving him an explanation. That was going to be a new goal for her. As soon as she could afford it, she was going to find herself a tutor to at least teach her to read and write. As an alternative, she dragged Claire to her room for a few minutes to leave a message with her.
“It’s time for me to move on,” she told her friend. “I’ll be spending a few nights at my old home, if they’ll let me, while I look for a new job. Or I’ll rent a flat.”
“Why must you go?” Claire complained. “We’d only just got to be friends.”
“That won’t end with my going. I’ll keep in touch. I might even come visit from time to time.” Danny wouldn’t, couldn’t afford to risk seeing Jeremy again after she was gone. “Or better yet, you can come visit me. I’ll let you know where I get settled.”
Claire sighed, but then asked suspiciously, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Danny shook her head. “No, I was lucky in that regard. But that would become an issue if I stayed longer. And although I don’t think he’d try to take the baby from me, I’d have an even harder time leaving with one.”
“So why leave at all?”
“Because I’ve fallen in love with the man, Claire, and he’s tempting me to put my goals aside for him.”
“He doesn’t know you’re leaving, does he?”
“Of course not. He’d have no trouble talking me out of it. He’s good at that, talking circles around me. So don’t be telling him where I’m going. But I do want to leave him a message, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Certainly.”
“Tell him for me that I said thank you for improving my lot, that I’m much more confident now that my goals will be realized.”
Claire raised a brow. “You really think he’s going to want to hear that? Or doesn’t he know what your goals are?”
“You’re right, scratch that second part. Tell him instead that I’ll miss him, but I have to get on with my life. And tell him—” She had to pause, was feeling her throat close up. “Tell him I don’t regret being his friend.”
“Eh?”
“He’ll understand. Now I have to go. Watch over my pets for me?”
“You’re not taking them?”
“Only Twitch. The other two, he shouldn’t have given to me in the first place.” Danny hugged Claire. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss all of you.”
“Bloody hell, I think I’m going to cry. Go on then, if you’re going. And good luck.”
Danny ran upstairs one last time before she left. Jeremy had warned her never to touch it again, but too bad, she was taking her old hat with her. Not to wear. It would look silly with her skirts. But it was hers, and she wasn’t leaving anything behind.
She paused in his room to give it one last look. She touched his bed, his pillow. The tears started.
She didn’t want to leave. She’d said it to Claire, but that was the first time she’d put it into words. She loved Jeremy Malory. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She thought she’d be able to leave before it did. But it was too late. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Jeremy. He could fulfill all her dreams—if he would.
And, dear God, what if he would? How could she leave without finding out?
It would mean confronting him and spilling her guts, and risking what she’d feared, that he’d try to talk her out of going. He couldn’t. Her resolve was firm now. But it would rip her up if he tried, make it that much harder…
Danny waited, went through an agony of indecision. But in the end, that tiny hope that Jeremy loved her, too, enough to defy convention and marry her, kept her there until he got home.
She let Claire know that she wouldn’t have to give him any messages for her after all, and why. “You’ve got more courage than I would have under the same circumstances,” Claire said. “Good luck, Danny.”
She didn’t need luck, she needed her one small hope to be realized.
Jeremy returned in time for lunch. Percy was with him. They were laughing as they entered the house. Danny savored the image from where she stood in the doorway to the parlor. She wasn’t holding her sack; it was on the floor just inside the doorway where she could grab it quickly.
It must have been her expression, though, that made Jeremy’s expression turn serious and tell Percy, “Run along to the kitchen and let them know you’re hungry, old man. I’ll be along shortly.” He approached Danny then, put his hand on her cheek. “What’s wrong, luv?”
She stepped away from him, moving back into the parlor. She wasn’t going to be able to say what she had to if he was touching her. He followed her into the room. He was going to reach for her again. She put up a hand to stop him.
“I’m leaving, Jeremy.”
“I just got home. Where are you off to?”
She realized he’d been drinking, for him to mistake her meaning like that. But he wasn’t foxed. Jeremy Malory was incapable of getting drunk.
“I’m not going out on an errand. I’m leaving for good.”
“The devil you are. It’s too soon.”
“Actually, I shouldn’t have stayed this long. But don’t misunderstand. I don’t regret my time here with you, not a’tall. I—I’ll miss you.” She had to pause, was feeling her throat close up. “But I have to get on with my life.”
“Don’t do this, Danny.”
“Then give me a reason to stay! Living my life sharing only half of yours isn’t what I want for myself. I want a real family, and children who aren’t bastards. I won’t get either here unless you marry me.”
There, she’d said it, put her heart on the table.
And he said nothing.
Even his expression was inscrutable for once. For a man with such telling eyes? Thatwas his answer. He wasn’t going to remind her that marriage wasn’t for him. He was sparing her that. God, what a fool she’d been, to grasp and cling to such a small hope!
She wasn’t sure how she got out of there without bursting into tears in front of him. But no sooner was she out of the house than the tears began in earnest. Thinking about leaving just wasn’t the same as walking out the door and realizing she’d never see Jeremy Malory again.
Chapter 48
IT TOOKDANNYa few extra hours to find where Dagger had moved the pack to. She knew the right people to ask. Back in the old neighborhoods, it was amazing how many people didn’t recognize her at first. A few did and were dumbfounded, but most didn’t recognize her at all, had to be reminded, and she’d known these people most of her life!
Had she changed that much? Probably. And it wasn’t just the female attire. She was walking boldly into the most crime-ridden area of the city, confident that she could deal with any trouble that came her way.
Dagger was home. So was Lucy, who squealed in delight when she saw Danny walk in the door. A few of the children were also there and demanded an equal share of her attention. It was a good ten minutes before she thought to look at Dagger to judge his reaction.
He’d said nothing yet. And he was just staring at her, as if he didn’t recognize her either. But heknew she was a woman now, so he was probably trying to figure out how he’d missed that fact all these years.
Finally he said in a gruff voice, “Ye can’t stay ’ere. There’s a dangerous fellow looking for ye in these neighborhoods who means ye ’arm.”
“Yes, I know.” Danny moved to join him at the same old kitchen table where he could usually be found. That table always traveled with him. And she realized now that he treated it like his office, or his throne. He gave all his orders there, dictated his rules. He should have an office, a real one.
She said as much. “You should have an office, Dagger. Why did you never turn one of the bedrooms into one?”
He snorted. “Like we ever ’ave spare bedrooms. And don’t be changing the subject.”
