A Mother's Wish

Page 34

“I don’t think so.” After another brief pause, he murmured, “When’s the last time you went on a picnic and flew a kite?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Would you consider going with me on Saturday afternoon? You and Jeff. The three of us together.”
“Yes … Jeff would love it.”
“How about you? Would you love it?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
There didn’t seem to be anything more to say, and Robin ended the conversation. “I’ll tell Jeff in the morning. He’ll be thrilled. Thank you.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.”
“Yes. Tomorrow.”
“Good night, Robin.”
She smiled softly. He said her name the way she’d always dreamed a man would, softly, with a mixture of excitement and need. “Good night, Cole.”
For a long time after they’d hung up Robin lay staring at her bedroom walls. When she did flick off her light, she fell asleep as quickly as Jeff seemed to have. She woke about midnight, surprised to find the sheets all twisted as if she’d tossed and turned frantically. The bedspread had slipped onto the floor, and the top sheet was wound around her legs, trapping her.
Sitting up, she untangled her legs and brushed the curls from her face, wondering what had caused her restlessness. She didn’t usually wake abruptly like this.
She slid off the bed, found her slippers and went downstairs for a glass of milk.
It was while she was sitting at the table that it came to her. Her hand stilled. Her heartbeat accelerated. The couple in the Chinese restaurant. Robin had overheard them and she was certain Cole had, too.
Their little boy. A family.
Cole had lost a son. From the little Robin had learned, Cole’s son had been about the same age Jeff was now when he’d died. First divorce, and then death.
Suddenly it all made sense. A painful kind of sense. A panicky kind of sense. The common ground between them wasn’t their backyards, but the fact that they were both victims.
Cole was trying to replace the family that had been so cruelly taken from him.
Robin was just as guilty. She’d been so caught up in the tide of emotion and attraction that she’d refused to recognize what was staring her in the face. She’d ignored her own suspicions and fears, shoving them aside.
She and Cole were both hurting, needy people.
But once the hurt was assuaged, once the need had been satisfied, Cole would discover what Robin had known from the beginning. They were completely different people with little, if anything, in common.
Six
“What do you mean you want to meet my cousin?” Angela demanded, glancing up from her desk, a shocked look on her face.
“You’ve been after me for weeks to go out with Fred.”
“Frank. Yes, I have, but that was B.C.”
“B.C.?”
“Before Cole. What happened with you two?”
“Nothing!”
“And pigs have wings,” Angela said with more than a trace of sarcasm. She stood up and walked around to the front of her desk, leaning against one corner while she folded her arms and stared unblinkingly at Robin.
Robin knew it would do little good to try to disguise her feelings. She’d had a restless night and was convinced it showed. No doubt her eyes were glazed; they ached. Her bones ached. But mostly her heart ached. Arranging a date with Angela’s cousin was a sure indication of her distress.
“The last thing I heard, Cole was supposed to attend Jeff’s baseball game with you.”
“He did.” Robin walked to her own desk and reached for the cup of coffee she’d brought upstairs with her. Peeling off the plastic lid, she cautiously took a sip.
“And?”
“Jeff pitched and he played a fabulous game,” Robin said, hoping her friend wouldn’t question her further.
Angela continued to stare at Robin. Good grief, Robin thought, the woman had eyes that could cut through solid rock.
“What?” Robin snapped when she couldn’t stand her friend’s scrutiny any longer. She took another sip of her coffee and nearly scalded her lips. If the rest of her day followed the pattern set that morning, she might as well go home now. The temptation to climb back into bed and hide her head under the pillow was growing stronger every minute.
“Tell me what happened with Cole,” Angela said again.
“Nothing. I already told you he was at Jeff’s baseball game. What more do you want?”
“The least you can do is tell me what went on last night,” Angela said slowly, carefully enunciating each word as though speaking to someone who was hard of hearing.
“Before or after Jeff’s game?” Robin pulled out her chair and sat down.
“Both.”
Robin gave up. Gesturing weakly with her hands, she shrugged, took a deep breath and poured out the whole story in one huge rush. “Cole was held up at the office in a meeting, so we didn’t meet at the house the way we’d planned. Naturally Jeff was disappointed, but we decided that whatever was keeping Cole wasn’t his fault, and we left for Balboa Park without him. Cole arrived at the bottom of the second inning, just as Jeff was ready to pitch. Jeff only allowed three hits the entire game, and scored two home runs himself. Afterward Cole took us all out for Chinese food at a fabulous restaurant I’ve never heard of but one you and I will have to try sometime. Our next raise, okay? Later Cole phoned and asked to take Jeff and me on a picnic Saturday. I think we’re going to Golden Gate Park because he also talked about flying kites.” She paused, dragged in a fresh gulp of air and gave Angela a look that said “make something out of that if you can!”
“I see,” Angela said after a lengthy pause.
“Good.”
Robin wasn’t up to explaining things, so if Angela really didn’t understand, that was just too bad. She only knew that she was dangerously close to letting her emotions take charge of her life. She was becoming increasingly attracted to a man who could well be trying to replace the son he’d lost. Robin needed to find a way to keep from following her heart, which was moving at breakneck speed straight into Cole’s arms.
“Will you introduce me to Frank or not?” she asked a second time, strengthening her voice and her conviction.
Angela was still watching her with those diamond-cutting eyes. “I’m not sure yet.”
“You’re not sure!” Robin echoed, dismayed. “For weeks you’ve been spouting his virtues. According to you, this cousin is as close to a god as a human being can get. He works hard, buys municipal bonds, goes to church regularly and flosses his teeth.”
“I said all that?”
“Just about,” Robin muttered. “I made up the part about flossing his teeth. Yet when I ask to meet this paragon of limitless virtue, you say you’re not sure you want to introduce me. I would’ve thought you’d be pleased.”
“I am pleased,” Angela said, frowning, “but I’m also concerned.”
“It’s not your job to be concerned. All you have to do is call Fred and let him know I’m available Saturday evening for drinks or dinner or a movie or whatever. I’ll let him decide what he’s most comfortable with.”
“It’s Frank, and I thought you said you were going on a picnic with Cole on Saturday.”
Robin turned on her computer, prepared to check several columns of figures. If she looked busy and suitably nonchalant, it might prompt Angela to agree. “Jeff and I will be with Cole earlier in the day. I’ll simply make sure we’re back before late afternoon, so there’s no reason to worry.”
Robin’s forehead puckered. “I am worried. I can’t help being worried. Honestly, Robin, I’ve never seen you like this. You’re so … so determined.”
“I’ve always been determined,” Robin countered, glancing up from the computer.
“Oh, I agree one hundred percent,” Angela said with a heavy sigh, “but not when it comes to anything that has to do with men. My thirteen-year-old niece has more savvy with the opposite sex than you do!”
“Mom, look how high my kite is,” Jeff hollered as his box kite soared toward the heavens.
“It’s touching the sky!” Robin shouted, and laughed with her son as he tugged and twisted the string. Despite all her misgivings about her relationship with Cole, she was thoroughly enjoying the afternoon. At first, she’d been positive the day would turn into a disaster. She was sure Cole would take one look at her and know she was going out with another man that evening. She was equally sure she’d blurt it out if he didn’t immediately guess.
Cole had been as excited as Jeff about the picnic and kite-flying expedition. The two of them had been fussing with the kites for hours—buying, building and now flying them. For her part, Robin was content to soak up the sunshine.
The weather couldn’t have been more cooperative. The sky was a brilliant blue and the wind was perfect. Sailboats scudding on the choppy green waters added dashes of bright color.
In contrast to all the beauty surrounding her, Robin’s heart was troubled. Watching Cole, so patient and gentle with her son, filled her with contradictory emotions. Part of her wanted to thank him. Thank him for the smile that lit up Jeff’s face. Thank him for throwing open the shades and easing her toward the light. And part of her wanted to shut her eyes and run for cover.
“Mom, look!” Jeff cried as the kite whipped and kicked in the wind. Blackie raced at his side as the sleek red-and-blue kite sliced through the sky, then dipped sharply and crashed toward the ground at heart-stopping speed, only to be caught at the last second and lifted higher and higher.
“I’m looking, I’m looking!” Robin shouted back. She’d never seen Jeff happier. Pride and joy shone from his face, and Robin was moved almost to tears.
Cole stood behind Jeff, watching the kite. One hand rested on the boy’s shoulder, the other shaded his eyes as he gazed up at the sky. They laughed, and once more Robin was struck by the mingling of their voices. One mature and measured, the other young and excited. Both happy.
A few minutes later, Cole jogged over to Robin’s blanket and sat down beside her. He did nothing more than smile at her, but she felt an actual jolt.
Cole stretched out and leaned back on his elbows, grinning at the sun. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much.”
“You two seem to be enjoying this,” Robin said.
If Cole noticed anything awry, he didn’t comment. She’d managed not to tell him about the date with Angela’s cousin; she certainly didn’t want him to think she was trying to make him jealous. That wasn’t the evening’s purpose at all. Actually she wasn’t sure what she hoped to accomplish by dating Fred … Frank. She mentally shouted the name five times. Why did she keep calling him Fred? She didn’t know that any more than she knew why she was going out with him. On the morning she’d talked Angela into making the arrangements for her, it had seemed a matter of life and death. Now she only felt confused and regretful.