A New Hope
Page 36
She felt safe. In fact, she felt cherished. Protected. It was a feeling she hadn’t had very often.
They were alone, quiet in the dark, and she felt a contentment wash over her. She’d like to stay here, just like this, forever. He turned toward her and gently kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek, her ear. She lifted her lips, and he touched them with his. Then he adjusted slightly to take her into his arms and cover her mouth with a sweet and thorough kiss, holding her close.
Oh, God, he was a very good kisser. She let her lips part slightly. Very. Good.
She escaped the warmth of the blanket to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him closer. She gave herself to his mouth, his arms, and it was pure heaven. She tried to think when she last enjoyed physical affection like this and it was blurry. Long before she got pregnant. Oh, there’d been sex. But that feeling of being adored, of being swept away, of falling into some kind of bliss, that was long ago.
Headlights strafed them, causing them to reluctantly break apart. A highway patrol cruiser pulled up beside them. The spotlight at the top of the car shone on them. The trooper got out and stood up, looking at them over the top of the vehicle. “You folks okay there?”
“Well, we were,” Matt said with a laugh.
“What’s going on there?” he asked.
“We were making out, if you need to know.”
“Drinking?” he asked.
“No, sir,” Matt said. “You’re welcome to check. Got a cooler of drinks here—water, soda, et cetera. We’re enjoying the sunset. And then some.”
“Well, I hate to throw a wet blanket on this party, but I don’t think it’s wise, using this spot for romance. You aren’t breaking any laws, but you’re real isolated. You’d be better off getting a room. At least the door locks.”
“Point taken,” Matt said.
The trooper drove away, and Matt put his arms around her again. “You afraid to be out here alone? With just me?”
“I have a feeling you could keep me safe.”
He kissed her again. Long and wet and deep. “Ginger, I don’t know whether to congratulate myself or apologize. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now, but we both know I’m a mess.”
She ran her fingers over his scruffy cheek. “Please don’t apologize.”
“I won’t,” he said. “I should get you home.”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
They were quiet on the drive back, but held hands all the way. When he parked in front of Ray Anne’s house, he leaned across the console to give her a brief kiss. And when he helped her out of the truck, he stood there with her for a moment, embracing her and kissing her deeply. She couldn’t help it, she was melting into him and wanting him. Wanting him so much.
“I had a nice surprise today,” she whispered against his lips. “Grace is giving up her little apartment over the shop. She offered it to me.” She smiled at him. “I’m going to have my own place soon.”
“How soon?” he asked, surprise in his voice.
“A couple of days, actually. Ray Anne has been so generous, but she’s used to living alone. And she does have a boyfriend.”
He lifted her hand and held it close between their bodies. “Do you have a boyfriend, miss?”
“Not sure,” she said. “But I think I want one.”
He gave her another quick kiss, then turned her toward the house. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Ten
He ran. He could’ve stayed overnight at his sister’s house and had a more leisurely drive in the morning, maybe even a little more time with Ginger, but instead Matt hit the road and headed north, though it was almost nine. He was a little panicked. Most definitely conflicted. He was falling in love with Ginger and it was a bad idea for him to be in love. If he recalled, he had two gears—not in love and thinking straight or in love and a complete idiot.
He wanted to fall into Ginger and drown in her. She was going to let him. And now she was getting her own place. Where they would be alone.
It was dark and he didn’t have the radio on, so he tried interviewing himself to see if he could figure out what was happening to him. Was he over Natalie? Most definitely. He might still find her beautiful but he didn’t want her back. So then, what was the problem? Well, he thought he’d known Natalie. He had trusted her, more or less. What had he failed to see? He had known she wasn’t perfect, and that was okay with him because he wasn’t perfect, either, and damn, she seemed good enough for him. So she wasn’t into the farm. He thought he’d been okay with that, but what if he wasn’t? What if he’d secretly expected her to come around? So she wanted to have more fun? Didn’t wives always want a little more than what they were getting? There wasn’t any Achilles’ heel he couldn’t live with, or so he’d thought. He’d had no illusions—she wasn’t going to wear overalls and rubber boots and dig in the ground. Ever. She would never share his passion. But he might’ve thought she’d eventually develop a grudging respect for it. He knew his brothers looked at him with a combination of envy and amusement. Natalie wasn’t practical or earthy, but she was gorgeous and laughed at his jokes. She would always wear sexy, inconvenient clothes and ridiculous high heels. And the most amazing underwear...and when she wrapped those long legs around him, he’d leave the earth for a while.
Of course he now realized you can’t build a real relationship on hot underwear and sexual abandon. There had to be more. A lot more.
He was falling in love with something more—a woman he could really talk to, a woman with values that matched more closely to his own, a woman who wanted a family. A quiet, gentle, loving woman with an inner strength so powerful it humbled him; a woman he respected. Admired. A woman who turned him on, made him so hot he wondered if he’d snap! He realized he was terrified of that, with good reason. Once he fell into Ginger and experienced her, he was not going to be able to go back. Ginger wanted a stable home life, a solid man to lean on, a grounded future. He wanted to be that man.
What if he was getting all the wrong signals? Again? She seemed so transparent, but...
It was pretty easy to look back at his brief marriage and realize Natalie hadn’t really surprised him that much. She wasn’t much of a giver, that Natalie. She might’ve done some selfish things that shocked him but when he looked back, they shouldn’t have. He should’ve seen it coming. She was focused on herself, her needs. He always knew it was all about Natalie being happy, being entertained, being satisfied, having lots of attention heaped on her.
They were alone, quiet in the dark, and she felt a contentment wash over her. She’d like to stay here, just like this, forever. He turned toward her and gently kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek, her ear. She lifted her lips, and he touched them with his. Then he adjusted slightly to take her into his arms and cover her mouth with a sweet and thorough kiss, holding her close.
Oh, God, he was a very good kisser. She let her lips part slightly. Very. Good.
She escaped the warmth of the blanket to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him closer. She gave herself to his mouth, his arms, and it was pure heaven. She tried to think when she last enjoyed physical affection like this and it was blurry. Long before she got pregnant. Oh, there’d been sex. But that feeling of being adored, of being swept away, of falling into some kind of bliss, that was long ago.
Headlights strafed them, causing them to reluctantly break apart. A highway patrol cruiser pulled up beside them. The spotlight at the top of the car shone on them. The trooper got out and stood up, looking at them over the top of the vehicle. “You folks okay there?”
“Well, we were,” Matt said with a laugh.
“What’s going on there?” he asked.
“We were making out, if you need to know.”
“Drinking?” he asked.
“No, sir,” Matt said. “You’re welcome to check. Got a cooler of drinks here—water, soda, et cetera. We’re enjoying the sunset. And then some.”
“Well, I hate to throw a wet blanket on this party, but I don’t think it’s wise, using this spot for romance. You aren’t breaking any laws, but you’re real isolated. You’d be better off getting a room. At least the door locks.”
“Point taken,” Matt said.
The trooper drove away, and Matt put his arms around her again. “You afraid to be out here alone? With just me?”
“I have a feeling you could keep me safe.”
He kissed her again. Long and wet and deep. “Ginger, I don’t know whether to congratulate myself or apologize. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now, but we both know I’m a mess.”
She ran her fingers over his scruffy cheek. “Please don’t apologize.”
“I won’t,” he said. “I should get you home.”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
They were quiet on the drive back, but held hands all the way. When he parked in front of Ray Anne’s house, he leaned across the console to give her a brief kiss. And when he helped her out of the truck, he stood there with her for a moment, embracing her and kissing her deeply. She couldn’t help it, she was melting into him and wanting him. Wanting him so much.
“I had a nice surprise today,” she whispered against his lips. “Grace is giving up her little apartment over the shop. She offered it to me.” She smiled at him. “I’m going to have my own place soon.”
“How soon?” he asked, surprise in his voice.
“A couple of days, actually. Ray Anne has been so generous, but she’s used to living alone. And she does have a boyfriend.”
He lifted her hand and held it close between their bodies. “Do you have a boyfriend, miss?”
“Not sure,” she said. “But I think I want one.”
He gave her another quick kiss, then turned her toward the house. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Ten
He ran. He could’ve stayed overnight at his sister’s house and had a more leisurely drive in the morning, maybe even a little more time with Ginger, but instead Matt hit the road and headed north, though it was almost nine. He was a little panicked. Most definitely conflicted. He was falling in love with Ginger and it was a bad idea for him to be in love. If he recalled, he had two gears—not in love and thinking straight or in love and a complete idiot.
He wanted to fall into Ginger and drown in her. She was going to let him. And now she was getting her own place. Where they would be alone.
It was dark and he didn’t have the radio on, so he tried interviewing himself to see if he could figure out what was happening to him. Was he over Natalie? Most definitely. He might still find her beautiful but he didn’t want her back. So then, what was the problem? Well, he thought he’d known Natalie. He had trusted her, more or less. What had he failed to see? He had known she wasn’t perfect, and that was okay with him because he wasn’t perfect, either, and damn, she seemed good enough for him. So she wasn’t into the farm. He thought he’d been okay with that, but what if he wasn’t? What if he’d secretly expected her to come around? So she wanted to have more fun? Didn’t wives always want a little more than what they were getting? There wasn’t any Achilles’ heel he couldn’t live with, or so he’d thought. He’d had no illusions—she wasn’t going to wear overalls and rubber boots and dig in the ground. Ever. She would never share his passion. But he might’ve thought she’d eventually develop a grudging respect for it. He knew his brothers looked at him with a combination of envy and amusement. Natalie wasn’t practical or earthy, but she was gorgeous and laughed at his jokes. She would always wear sexy, inconvenient clothes and ridiculous high heels. And the most amazing underwear...and when she wrapped those long legs around him, he’d leave the earth for a while.
Of course he now realized you can’t build a real relationship on hot underwear and sexual abandon. There had to be more. A lot more.
He was falling in love with something more—a woman he could really talk to, a woman with values that matched more closely to his own, a woman who wanted a family. A quiet, gentle, loving woman with an inner strength so powerful it humbled him; a woman he respected. Admired. A woman who turned him on, made him so hot he wondered if he’d snap! He realized he was terrified of that, with good reason. Once he fell into Ginger and experienced her, he was not going to be able to go back. Ginger wanted a stable home life, a solid man to lean on, a grounded future. He wanted to be that man.
What if he was getting all the wrong signals? Again? She seemed so transparent, but...
It was pretty easy to look back at his brief marriage and realize Natalie hadn’t really surprised him that much. She wasn’t much of a giver, that Natalie. She might’ve done some selfish things that shocked him but when he looked back, they shouldn’t have. He should’ve seen it coming. She was focused on herself, her needs. He always knew it was all about Natalie being happy, being entertained, being satisfied, having lots of attention heaped on her.
