A New Hope
Page 47
Grace was grinning. “No pressure. Check. But if I were you, I’d go right back upstairs.”
“No,” Ginger said, laughing.
“I used to hate leaving Troy up there in my bed. He was so cute...”
Matt is beyond cute, Ginger thought, laughing. Still, it took great discipline to keep her work schedule knowing he was right up there. “I’m here to work,” she said.
“Okay then,” Grace said. “But I bet you’re not worth a damn with that love hangover glowing all over you.”
* * *
Matt decided to walk to Peyton’s house. When she opened the door, his sister was dressed for cleaning with a feather-duster thing in one hand. She had a babushka-type scarf covering her head, wore yoga pants with an oversize T-shirt and had bare feet.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“You and I have to get a few things straight,” he said. “Can you take a break from whatever you’re doing there?”
“I guess. Is this going to lead to a fight?” she asked.
“I hope so,” he said. “I’m pretty pissed off at you. Where are Scott and the kids?”
“He took them fishing for a while so I could clean house. Why are you pissed off at me?” she asked, holding the door open for him.
He entered. “Gimme a break, Peyton. You’ve been bossy and controlling, deciding things that are not for you to decide, and you know it. I mean, you could’ve offered to call Ginger and deliver a message for me.”
“Because I didn’t give out Ginger’s phone number? I didn’t feel it was my right to do that. She had a new phone number for a reason, after all.”
“Yeah, and it wasn’t me! You could have been helpful instead of mean. As it turns out, she wasn’t upset with me. And I had to go to some trouble to track her down.”
“I didn’t know,” she said stubbornly. “It’s not my business. And besides, I see you got down here bright and early to check it out.”
“I came last night,” he said, trying not to act smug about it.
She raised one dark brow and suddenly Matt saw his mother in her face. Oh, boy.
“Really?” she said.
“Now, I want you to listen,” he said. “We’re together. I love her. We’ve both been through some stuff and we’ve had a couple of rocky situations, and we’ll probably have a couple more rocky moments while we try to get beyond our stuff, but we want to hammer it out because we both happen to think we’re good together. I don’t know if this is going the distance. I want it to, but it’s possible we’re not perfect together or it’s not the right time or one of us isn’t ready, but you gotta butt out. Really, you’d fuck up a wet dream.”
“Nice, Matt,” she said, curling her lip.
“I’m serious here, Peyton. I’d never hurt Ginger. I’m sorry I’m not coming to her all perfect, but I’m trying and I’d never hurt her. She’s a good person. She’s a beautiful person. Talking to her really helps me and if I can believe her, it helps her, too. We seem to really care about each other and we’re working the kinks out. You have to back away slowly, let us be. Or I swear...”
“Come in, Matt,” she said almost cheerfully. “Let’s have a cup of coffee.”
He hesitated. “Sounds like a trap,” he said.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, walking to the kitchen and leaving him to follow. “I’d just like to sit down and hear what you have to say.”
A little reluctantly, he followed. She put a cup of coffee in front of him and sipped herbal tea from her mug. She made a face, which made him laugh. “You feeling all right, Peyton?” he asked.
“Well, I have moments,” she said. “I’m tired, get nauseous, can’t have anything good to drink. I think when the baby moves, I’ll feel lots better about giving up coffee and wine. Now, tell me about you and Ginger.”
“In your dreams, Peyton. I’m not here to discuss my personal life, just to get some boundaries in place.”
“Well, what kind of rocky stuff are you working through?” she asked.
“Like you don’t know? We’re just out of tough, unsuccessful relationships. She’s had losses and so have I. I know you didn’t like Natalie but that doesn’t make it easier to know I failed at marriage. You know how the men in our family feel about marriage.”
In a miraculous moment of compassion, she tilted her head and the look on her face was contrite. “I know, Matt. I’m sorry that didn’t work out.”
“But you’re not all that sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for you,” she insisted. “I’m sorry you were hurt. I knew you would be, but—”
“See, that knowing everything? That’s going to get between you and me. So you were right, good for you. But I did my best with Natalie and guess what? If you tell me right now that you don’t think I’m good enough for Ginger, that there’s no way it’s going to work, I’m not listening to that, either. See, I didn’t see it working out with that asshole Ted you were with for three years but it was what you wanted at the time and I kept my mouth shut. And when you settled in with Scott, I thought that was great, but I never said anything like, ‘Hey, great recovery, Peyton.’”
“Wow,” she said. “You didn’t like Ted?”
“Who did?” he asked. “I know you think Ginger is too good for me. You’re probably right. I know you think it would be great if I could somehow deserve her and make a decent life with a decent person—I get that. The bottom line is—we didn’t hire a matchmaker. That’s no good, Peyton. We have to find out if we work, not get together because someone as smart as you endorses it. You have to let it be up to us.”
“You love her?”
“I do. She’s amazing. I admire her so much.”
“What about all those other women?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. The question quieted him, made him think. “Spinning my wheels. Marking time. Looking and making mistakes and... Look, I’m not proud of that, all right? I didn’t break laws. I was careful with their feelings. It didn’t always work but I was. There hasn’t been anyone in a while now. And if it makes you feel better, it didn’t do anything to make me happy. In fact, it made me miserable.
“No,” Ginger said, laughing.
“I used to hate leaving Troy up there in my bed. He was so cute...”
Matt is beyond cute, Ginger thought, laughing. Still, it took great discipline to keep her work schedule knowing he was right up there. “I’m here to work,” she said.
“Okay then,” Grace said. “But I bet you’re not worth a damn with that love hangover glowing all over you.”
* * *
Matt decided to walk to Peyton’s house. When she opened the door, his sister was dressed for cleaning with a feather-duster thing in one hand. She had a babushka-type scarf covering her head, wore yoga pants with an oversize T-shirt and had bare feet.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“You and I have to get a few things straight,” he said. “Can you take a break from whatever you’re doing there?”
“I guess. Is this going to lead to a fight?” she asked.
“I hope so,” he said. “I’m pretty pissed off at you. Where are Scott and the kids?”
“He took them fishing for a while so I could clean house. Why are you pissed off at me?” she asked, holding the door open for him.
He entered. “Gimme a break, Peyton. You’ve been bossy and controlling, deciding things that are not for you to decide, and you know it. I mean, you could’ve offered to call Ginger and deliver a message for me.”
“Because I didn’t give out Ginger’s phone number? I didn’t feel it was my right to do that. She had a new phone number for a reason, after all.”
“Yeah, and it wasn’t me! You could have been helpful instead of mean. As it turns out, she wasn’t upset with me. And I had to go to some trouble to track her down.”
“I didn’t know,” she said stubbornly. “It’s not my business. And besides, I see you got down here bright and early to check it out.”
“I came last night,” he said, trying not to act smug about it.
She raised one dark brow and suddenly Matt saw his mother in her face. Oh, boy.
“Really?” she said.
“Now, I want you to listen,” he said. “We’re together. I love her. We’ve both been through some stuff and we’ve had a couple of rocky situations, and we’ll probably have a couple more rocky moments while we try to get beyond our stuff, but we want to hammer it out because we both happen to think we’re good together. I don’t know if this is going the distance. I want it to, but it’s possible we’re not perfect together or it’s not the right time or one of us isn’t ready, but you gotta butt out. Really, you’d fuck up a wet dream.”
“Nice, Matt,” she said, curling her lip.
“I’m serious here, Peyton. I’d never hurt Ginger. I’m sorry I’m not coming to her all perfect, but I’m trying and I’d never hurt her. She’s a good person. She’s a beautiful person. Talking to her really helps me and if I can believe her, it helps her, too. We seem to really care about each other and we’re working the kinks out. You have to back away slowly, let us be. Or I swear...”
“Come in, Matt,” she said almost cheerfully. “Let’s have a cup of coffee.”
He hesitated. “Sounds like a trap,” he said.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, walking to the kitchen and leaving him to follow. “I’d just like to sit down and hear what you have to say.”
A little reluctantly, he followed. She put a cup of coffee in front of him and sipped herbal tea from her mug. She made a face, which made him laugh. “You feeling all right, Peyton?” he asked.
“Well, I have moments,” she said. “I’m tired, get nauseous, can’t have anything good to drink. I think when the baby moves, I’ll feel lots better about giving up coffee and wine. Now, tell me about you and Ginger.”
“In your dreams, Peyton. I’m not here to discuss my personal life, just to get some boundaries in place.”
“Well, what kind of rocky stuff are you working through?” she asked.
“Like you don’t know? We’re just out of tough, unsuccessful relationships. She’s had losses and so have I. I know you didn’t like Natalie but that doesn’t make it easier to know I failed at marriage. You know how the men in our family feel about marriage.”
In a miraculous moment of compassion, she tilted her head and the look on her face was contrite. “I know, Matt. I’m sorry that didn’t work out.”
“But you’re not all that sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for you,” she insisted. “I’m sorry you were hurt. I knew you would be, but—”
“See, that knowing everything? That’s going to get between you and me. So you were right, good for you. But I did my best with Natalie and guess what? If you tell me right now that you don’t think I’m good enough for Ginger, that there’s no way it’s going to work, I’m not listening to that, either. See, I didn’t see it working out with that asshole Ted you were with for three years but it was what you wanted at the time and I kept my mouth shut. And when you settled in with Scott, I thought that was great, but I never said anything like, ‘Hey, great recovery, Peyton.’”
“Wow,” she said. “You didn’t like Ted?”
“Who did?” he asked. “I know you think Ginger is too good for me. You’re probably right. I know you think it would be great if I could somehow deserve her and make a decent life with a decent person—I get that. The bottom line is—we didn’t hire a matchmaker. That’s no good, Peyton. We have to find out if we work, not get together because someone as smart as you endorses it. You have to let it be up to us.”
“You love her?”
“I do. She’s amazing. I admire her so much.”
“What about all those other women?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. The question quieted him, made him think. “Spinning my wheels. Marking time. Looking and making mistakes and... Look, I’m not proud of that, all right? I didn’t break laws. I was careful with their feelings. It didn’t always work but I was. There hasn’t been anyone in a while now. And if it makes you feel better, it didn’t do anything to make me happy. In fact, it made me miserable.
