A Reclusive Heart
Page 15
She had no life or real friends to rush back to so he knew it wouldn’t take much to convince her to keep going. Tours normally could become tiresome and stressful for authors, but he knew that Jamie actually enjoyed traveling, sleeping in different hotels and trying new things. Even when she was exhausted and they had to travel late at night she still had a smile on her face.
He’d be able to keep her happy. As long as they had the list he owned her happiness. They’d been doing this for two weeks and he knew she was addicted to that damn list. She loved trying new things and with him there she seemed relaxed and able to go through with her little list. The two times he had to put off the list she’d tried to do things on her own only to end up stressed and intimidated. That of course pleased him because it meant that he hadn’t outlived his usefulness. She needed him for this list and he needed her for this tour and possibly a European tour immediately afterwards. It really depended on what Rick could come up with.
“Do you want to head back to the hotel?” he asked when he noticed the setting sun.
“No!” she said, sounding close to pouting, which actually pleased him.
He loved riding and wasn’t ready to call it a night either. This was one of his favorite things in the world to do. Normally he didn’t involve women in this activity because they bitched a lot, but surprisingly he didn’t mind bringing his little recluse with him. She loved this and couldn’t seem to be able to get enough. The only other woman that he’d enjoyed this with was Dana Pierce, except in her case she’d been on her own bike while trying to kick his ass racing.
They hadn’t ridden together in five years and he missed it. He missed spending the time with his friend, but she was married now and had a busy life. He understood that she had other things holding her attention these days, but he still missed that time with her. They still spent time together, but it wasn’t the same.
Before Dana he’d never spent time with a woman just to spend time with her.
She made it easy to be with her and relax, somewhat. He’d never really been able to let his guard down with her and just enjoy her company, but it had been close.
Oddly enough he was able to do that with Jamie. It probably had something to do with the fact that they both knew what they wanted from this agreement. There were secret agendas and he didn’t have to work his ass off to flirt with her to get something out of her. He had the list and knew exactly what she needed.
For the first time since Dana, sex didn’t matter with a woman. Well, that wasn’t completely true. Much to his horror he was attracted to the little recluse. It was hard not to be. She was a cute little sexy thing with an infectious laugh and a genuine smile that pleased him. She never pretended around him and didn’t play some of the drama bullshit games that other women played. She was real, wholesome, and it didn’t hurt that he could now tell that she had a killer body. That was just a bonus.
Nothing would ever come of his attraction to her. She was his client and technically his employee. Besides, he had a two f**k limit and she wouldn’t understand. Jamie had relationship written all over her and wouldn’t understand that with him there would only ever be two nights. Sleeping with her, no correction, f**king her, because he never slept with a woman, would make continuing this tour impossible and sure as hell would make a European tour out of the question.
Sex would screw this agreement up real quick and when she realized that she couldn’t have him she’d be on the phone with Rick, demanding that he send someone else to take over Nick’s job. There was no way in hell he was risking losing J.L. Lewis for sex. If his attraction for her became a problem he’d find a willing woman to slate his lust and forget about it since one woman was just as good as another.
******
Note to self, sitting on the back of a motorcycle for seven hours is really bad for the butt, Jamie noted as she walked stiff legged to her hotel room’s bathroom, but with a smile. That had been a lot of fun, a lot more fun than she ever thought possible. She already decided that when this tour was finished she was going to buy a bike and get her license. She briefly thought about asking Nick to go with her to pick it out, but then remembered that the agreement would be over and she’d be on her own. That thought scared her, but not enough to back down. This was something she wanted to do and thanks to Nick she knew how much fun it could be and wasn’t going to allow herself get scared off.
Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and finding new interests. Having him accompanying her made her feel relaxed and safe. With him around she didn’t stand out. Well, she kind of did, but that was only because she was with an incredibly handsome man. She’d take that rather than stand out because she was the lone loser shifting nervously while trying to appear not to be alone any day of the week.
Having people look at her with open pity wasn’t exactly her idea of fun. She hated the looks people sent her when she went out to eat by herself, a movie, the mall. Then again she had stood out thanks to the way she dressed. When she dressed in plain oversized clothing she’d hoped to blend into the background, but now she realized that actually made her stand out more. With her hair shortened and her new clothes she actually blended in a lot better, but she still wasn’t comfortable doing most of the things on her list on her own.
She was deathly afraid that she’d embarrass herself or screw something up.
It made it a lot easier to try new things with Nick. She’d never met anyone more comfortable in his own skin and she never had to worry about being too nervous to try something when he was around. It also didn’t hurt that he’d done a lot of things that she wanted to try so it was just a matter of him showing her how to do something. With Nick around it was like having her own personal tutor on life, a tutor that was also a slave driver.
From the moment she woke up until the moment he declared that she had free time he worked her to the bone. If they weren’t going over possible interview questions, the proper way to give an interview, what not to say, working on her books, or editing someone else’s book they were traveling. It was a grueling schedule and if she didn’t have the List to look forward to she’d probably be begging for him to slow down.
But there was no way she was going to give up the List. Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and loving it. She was starting to feel more comfortable and eager to try new things…….other things that he wouldn’t be able to help her with.
There was another aspect of her life that she’ always ignored, well, not so much as ignored as never finding anyone interested. Now that she was discovering a whole new Jamie she decided it was time to give the other part of her life that she’d sorely neglected over the years a try.
She was going to have a sex life.
A really good sex life, she decided. She’d do all the things she’d only imagined and she’d do them with whomever she wanted. The old her was gone and so were her prudish or rather virginal ways. She was twenty-five years old and ready to pop her cherry. She was too old to be a virgin and definitely too old never to have been kissed. Okay, so she had been kissed in eight grade by Gerald Logan, but that shouldn’t count because he’d kissed her on the cheek and only because someone dared him to do it.
Now she was more confident and eager to give it a try. There were so many things in that genre that she wanted to attempt, but was too nervous to try, but now all that was behind her. She was the new Jamie. Granted this new Jamie required a little bit of help, but that was neither here nor there. If she wanted to have sex then she was going to have it, lots of it. She did sort of, kind of wish she could ask Nick for a few suggestions, but she didn’t want him to know about this or think that she was asking him to step up and take one for the team.
The very last thing she wanted was for a guy to have sex or touch her because of an obligation. She wanted a man to want her, need her even if it was just for a night. Nick would probably think that she expected him to handle her needs as if they were a part of the list and she didn’t. She knew the man would never touch her and didn’t want her, which was fine because she wasn’t delusional.
Nick flirted with absolutely every woman. He sweet talked them, charmed them and made them all want him, except for her of course. With her he didn’t bother flirting with her or sweet talking her into doing something. No, for her he used intimidation and the List. As long as even part of her was still a pushover and that List existed then he wouldn’t need to waste energy trying to sweet talk her.
He’d be able to keep her happy. As long as they had the list he owned her happiness. They’d been doing this for two weeks and he knew she was addicted to that damn list. She loved trying new things and with him there she seemed relaxed and able to go through with her little list. The two times he had to put off the list she’d tried to do things on her own only to end up stressed and intimidated. That of course pleased him because it meant that he hadn’t outlived his usefulness. She needed him for this list and he needed her for this tour and possibly a European tour immediately afterwards. It really depended on what Rick could come up with.
“Do you want to head back to the hotel?” he asked when he noticed the setting sun.
“No!” she said, sounding close to pouting, which actually pleased him.
He loved riding and wasn’t ready to call it a night either. This was one of his favorite things in the world to do. Normally he didn’t involve women in this activity because they bitched a lot, but surprisingly he didn’t mind bringing his little recluse with him. She loved this and couldn’t seem to be able to get enough. The only other woman that he’d enjoyed this with was Dana Pierce, except in her case she’d been on her own bike while trying to kick his ass racing.
They hadn’t ridden together in five years and he missed it. He missed spending the time with his friend, but she was married now and had a busy life. He understood that she had other things holding her attention these days, but he still missed that time with her. They still spent time together, but it wasn’t the same.
Before Dana he’d never spent time with a woman just to spend time with her.
She made it easy to be with her and relax, somewhat. He’d never really been able to let his guard down with her and just enjoy her company, but it had been close.
Oddly enough he was able to do that with Jamie. It probably had something to do with the fact that they both knew what they wanted from this agreement. There were secret agendas and he didn’t have to work his ass off to flirt with her to get something out of her. He had the list and knew exactly what she needed.
For the first time since Dana, sex didn’t matter with a woman. Well, that wasn’t completely true. Much to his horror he was attracted to the little recluse. It was hard not to be. She was a cute little sexy thing with an infectious laugh and a genuine smile that pleased him. She never pretended around him and didn’t play some of the drama bullshit games that other women played. She was real, wholesome, and it didn’t hurt that he could now tell that she had a killer body. That was just a bonus.
Nothing would ever come of his attraction to her. She was his client and technically his employee. Besides, he had a two f**k limit and she wouldn’t understand. Jamie had relationship written all over her and wouldn’t understand that with him there would only ever be two nights. Sleeping with her, no correction, f**king her, because he never slept with a woman, would make continuing this tour impossible and sure as hell would make a European tour out of the question.
Sex would screw this agreement up real quick and when she realized that she couldn’t have him she’d be on the phone with Rick, demanding that he send someone else to take over Nick’s job. There was no way in hell he was risking losing J.L. Lewis for sex. If his attraction for her became a problem he’d find a willing woman to slate his lust and forget about it since one woman was just as good as another.
******
Note to self, sitting on the back of a motorcycle for seven hours is really bad for the butt, Jamie noted as she walked stiff legged to her hotel room’s bathroom, but with a smile. That had been a lot of fun, a lot more fun than she ever thought possible. She already decided that when this tour was finished she was going to buy a bike and get her license. She briefly thought about asking Nick to go with her to pick it out, but then remembered that the agreement would be over and she’d be on her own. That thought scared her, but not enough to back down. This was something she wanted to do and thanks to Nick she knew how much fun it could be and wasn’t going to allow herself get scared off.
Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and finding new interests. Having him accompanying her made her feel relaxed and safe. With him around she didn’t stand out. Well, she kind of did, but that was only because she was with an incredibly handsome man. She’d take that rather than stand out because she was the lone loser shifting nervously while trying to appear not to be alone any day of the week.
Having people look at her with open pity wasn’t exactly her idea of fun. She hated the looks people sent her when she went out to eat by herself, a movie, the mall. Then again she had stood out thanks to the way she dressed. When she dressed in plain oversized clothing she’d hoped to blend into the background, but now she realized that actually made her stand out more. With her hair shortened and her new clothes she actually blended in a lot better, but she still wasn’t comfortable doing most of the things on her list on her own.
She was deathly afraid that she’d embarrass herself or screw something up.
It made it a lot easier to try new things with Nick. She’d never met anyone more comfortable in his own skin and she never had to worry about being too nervous to try something when he was around. It also didn’t hurt that he’d done a lot of things that she wanted to try so it was just a matter of him showing her how to do something. With Nick around it was like having her own personal tutor on life, a tutor that was also a slave driver.
From the moment she woke up until the moment he declared that she had free time he worked her to the bone. If they weren’t going over possible interview questions, the proper way to give an interview, what not to say, working on her books, or editing someone else’s book they were traveling. It was a grueling schedule and if she didn’t have the List to look forward to she’d probably be begging for him to slow down.
But there was no way she was going to give up the List. Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and loving it. She was starting to feel more comfortable and eager to try new things…….other things that he wouldn’t be able to help her with.
There was another aspect of her life that she’ always ignored, well, not so much as ignored as never finding anyone interested. Now that she was discovering a whole new Jamie she decided it was time to give the other part of her life that she’d sorely neglected over the years a try.
She was going to have a sex life.
A really good sex life, she decided. She’d do all the things she’d only imagined and she’d do them with whomever she wanted. The old her was gone and so were her prudish or rather virginal ways. She was twenty-five years old and ready to pop her cherry. She was too old to be a virgin and definitely too old never to have been kissed. Okay, so she had been kissed in eight grade by Gerald Logan, but that shouldn’t count because he’d kissed her on the cheek and only because someone dared him to do it.
Now she was more confident and eager to give it a try. There were so many things in that genre that she wanted to attempt, but was too nervous to try, but now all that was behind her. She was the new Jamie. Granted this new Jamie required a little bit of help, but that was neither here nor there. If she wanted to have sex then she was going to have it, lots of it. She did sort of, kind of wish she could ask Nick for a few suggestions, but she didn’t want him to know about this or think that she was asking him to step up and take one for the team.
The very last thing she wanted was for a guy to have sex or touch her because of an obligation. She wanted a man to want her, need her even if it was just for a night. Nick would probably think that she expected him to handle her needs as if they were a part of the list and she didn’t. She knew the man would never touch her and didn’t want her, which was fine because she wasn’t delusional.
Nick flirted with absolutely every woman. He sweet talked them, charmed them and made them all want him, except for her of course. With her he didn’t bother flirting with her or sweet talking her into doing something. No, for her he used intimidation and the List. As long as even part of her was still a pushover and that List existed then he wouldn’t need to waste energy trying to sweet talk her.
