A Reclusive Heart
Page 25
Wow……
Were all men that big? she wondered as she watched in utter fascination as the large thing in his underwear started to get bigger until it strained against the material and the large pink tip pushed itself out from beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs. For a moment she laid there, helpless to move or even breathe.
Actually, now that she saw one, well part of one up close and personal, she was a little frightened. There was no way something like that was going to fit inside of her. It was physically impossible and it helped her realize that she really wasn’t ready for sex. Correction, she was pretty sure she was ready for all the other stuff, just not the actual sex part. She didn’t want to do that yet. Not until she was comfortable about being intimate with a man and if she had to look forward to being split in two by a monster like that the first time it would be a long time before she had sex.
It would probably be better if she learned how to please a man before she actually had sex just in case she was bad at it. She should probably find a man that she trusted to introduce her into sex, but the problem was that she didn’t know any man that would be interested in that job. The only man she trusted enough to do that with unfortunately was the same man that didn’t see her as anything more than a job.
Sure they were friends right now, but she seriously doubted he’d bother acknowledging her when this tour was over. She was far from being his type and as much as she’d love to say that she wasn’t interested in him she couldn’t lie. She was. Even if it was just a short affair she would love to be with him. Nick was exciting, sweet in a cranky way that she found endearing, handsome, and probably the sexiest man she’d ever seen. It really was too bad that he’d never be interested in her because she would love toShe lost her train of thought when Nick’s warm lips brushed against hers as he cupped her jaw with one hand. When she gasped in surprise he took advantage and slid his tongue into her mouth. The idea of some guy’s tongue in her mouth never appealed to her before. Then again she’d never imagined Nick doing this to her, but now that he was she found that she rather liked it.
Unable to help herself, she reached up and cupped the back of his head, sliding her fingers through his thick hair as she tentatively slid her tongue against his. His growl excited her so she slid her tongue against his again. It wasn’t until he dropped his hand from her face and wrapped his arm around her to pull her tightly against him that she remembered that she was currently topless.
She stilled at the alien sensation of having her br**sts plastered against a man, but it didn’t last long. Soon she was pressing back against him, moaning as her hard ni**les slid over his warm firm chest and through the sparse crisp hair the covered his chest. Her enjoyment lasted until she suddenly found herself on her back with Nick lying on top of her and one hand on her breast. As good as it felt to have him on top of her and touching her it also scared the hell out of her.
“Nick, stop,” she said, hating the way her voice trembled.
Not even a second later Nick stopped and was off of her and she couldn’t stop her sigh of relief which caused him to frown.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he reached over to brush the hair out of her face.
She opened her mouth to calmly explain the situation, but instead found herself blurting out, “I don’t want to be torn in two.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she groaned out of embarrassment, covered her face with her hands and since that wasn’t enough she buried her face in the pillow all while praying that he forgot that she was there and went about his business. But of course it didn’t work out that way.
“Care to explain,” he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
She mumbled into her pillow.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” he said, sounding amused.
With a sigh she turned her head slightly and repeated it. “I said I don’t think I’m ready for sex.” With that announcement she buried her face back against the pillow and prayed for a quick death.
“I know,” he said, pressing another kiss to her shoulder.
She moved her hands away from her face and turned to lie on her side, facing him, careful to cover her br**sts with her arms. “You do?”
“Yes,” he said, moving closer to her as he laid his hand on her hip and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m well aware of that fact, Jamie.”
“Oh,” she said, frowning.
“But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you,” he explained, making her blush and fight back a rather pleased smile. That is until he added, “You’re the type of woman who needs to be in a solid relationship with a man before you give up that kind of trust and I’ll never be him,” he said gently.
“I know,” she reluctantly admitted on a sigh. As much as she wanted to try sex, and she did as long as she wasn’t split in two, she also had to admit that she just couldn’t sleep with anyone. She wished that she could, but she had too many trust issues to be able to do something like that. She wondered if Nick realized that since the beginning of this agreement.
“What I can give you,” Nick said, pressing another kiss to her lips, “is fun.”
“Fun?” she repeated, too curious to pretend otherwise.
“Mmmmhmm,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips again almost as if he couldn’t help himself, which pleased her greatly. She liked the idea of a man like Nick wanting her, even if it meant nothing. “We can enjoy each other during this tour,” he said, cupping her chin between his fingers and gently giving her a nudge to look into his eyes, “but you need to understand that this isn’t going to lead anywhere, Jamie. I can’t be the kind of guy that you need. All I can offer you is a little no strings attached fun and I’m not sure that would be enough for you.”
Jamie thought about what he was saying as she absently snuggled closer to him, needing his warmth. When he pulled her the rest of the way she laid her hand against his warm chest. “So what you’re saying is that you’re not looking for any sort of commitment and that I shouldn’t expect one from you, because you don’t want a relationship, but you’re willing to spend time together during this tour,” she said, summing it up.
He nodded slowly. “I can’t promise that this will even last to the end of the tour, Jamie. I don’t do relationships and even that might be more than I can handle.
If we do this I need to know that you understand everything going into this or we can’t do this, Jamie. We work together and I don’t want any drama at work. Do you understand?”
“Meaning I shouldn’t expect anything or get upset if you lose interest tomorrow,” she said, shoving away her disappointment. She was on this tour to experience things and if she only had one day with Nick then she would simply treasure the experience and move on. She knew he wasn’t the type of guy to settle down and she wasn’t going to expect it.
Nick sighed heavily as he leaned in and pressed a kiss against her forehead.
“I’m sorry, Jamie, but that’s all I can give you.”
“Okay,” she said, deciding that she wasn’t going to worry about tomorrow, but enjoy him now. “Just understand that sex is not an option,” she said, knowing that without sex he would lose interest a lot quicker.
“That’s fine,” he said, slowly smiling. “There are other things that we can do,”
he said even as he leaned in to kiss her again.
“Other things?” she asked against his lips, too curious to focus on the kissing.
“Mmmmhmmm, other things,” he murmured against her lips as his hand slid between them and cupped her breast. “A lot of other things,” he said softly as he gently guided her onto her back.
“B-but no sex,” she reminded him even as her body trembled.
“No sex,” he repeated smoothly as he leaned in and kissed her again.
Lying on her back like this, she felt exposed and had to grab the floral comforter to stop herself from covering herself up. She’d never been very comfortable with her body and having a man like Nick, who’d probably been with more beautiful woman and probably found her lacking, made her even more nervous.
Were all men that big? she wondered as she watched in utter fascination as the large thing in his underwear started to get bigger until it strained against the material and the large pink tip pushed itself out from beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs. For a moment she laid there, helpless to move or even breathe.
Actually, now that she saw one, well part of one up close and personal, she was a little frightened. There was no way something like that was going to fit inside of her. It was physically impossible and it helped her realize that she really wasn’t ready for sex. Correction, she was pretty sure she was ready for all the other stuff, just not the actual sex part. She didn’t want to do that yet. Not until she was comfortable about being intimate with a man and if she had to look forward to being split in two by a monster like that the first time it would be a long time before she had sex.
It would probably be better if she learned how to please a man before she actually had sex just in case she was bad at it. She should probably find a man that she trusted to introduce her into sex, but the problem was that she didn’t know any man that would be interested in that job. The only man she trusted enough to do that with unfortunately was the same man that didn’t see her as anything more than a job.
Sure they were friends right now, but she seriously doubted he’d bother acknowledging her when this tour was over. She was far from being his type and as much as she’d love to say that she wasn’t interested in him she couldn’t lie. She was. Even if it was just a short affair she would love to be with him. Nick was exciting, sweet in a cranky way that she found endearing, handsome, and probably the sexiest man she’d ever seen. It really was too bad that he’d never be interested in her because she would love toShe lost her train of thought when Nick’s warm lips brushed against hers as he cupped her jaw with one hand. When she gasped in surprise he took advantage and slid his tongue into her mouth. The idea of some guy’s tongue in her mouth never appealed to her before. Then again she’d never imagined Nick doing this to her, but now that he was she found that she rather liked it.
Unable to help herself, she reached up and cupped the back of his head, sliding her fingers through his thick hair as she tentatively slid her tongue against his. His growl excited her so she slid her tongue against his again. It wasn’t until he dropped his hand from her face and wrapped his arm around her to pull her tightly against him that she remembered that she was currently topless.
She stilled at the alien sensation of having her br**sts plastered against a man, but it didn’t last long. Soon she was pressing back against him, moaning as her hard ni**les slid over his warm firm chest and through the sparse crisp hair the covered his chest. Her enjoyment lasted until she suddenly found herself on her back with Nick lying on top of her and one hand on her breast. As good as it felt to have him on top of her and touching her it also scared the hell out of her.
“Nick, stop,” she said, hating the way her voice trembled.
Not even a second later Nick stopped and was off of her and she couldn’t stop her sigh of relief which caused him to frown.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he reached over to brush the hair out of her face.
She opened her mouth to calmly explain the situation, but instead found herself blurting out, “I don’t want to be torn in two.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she groaned out of embarrassment, covered her face with her hands and since that wasn’t enough she buried her face in the pillow all while praying that he forgot that she was there and went about his business. But of course it didn’t work out that way.
“Care to explain,” he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
She mumbled into her pillow.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” he said, sounding amused.
With a sigh she turned her head slightly and repeated it. “I said I don’t think I’m ready for sex.” With that announcement she buried her face back against the pillow and prayed for a quick death.
“I know,” he said, pressing another kiss to her shoulder.
She moved her hands away from her face and turned to lie on her side, facing him, careful to cover her br**sts with her arms. “You do?”
“Yes,” he said, moving closer to her as he laid his hand on her hip and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m well aware of that fact, Jamie.”
“Oh,” she said, frowning.
“But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you,” he explained, making her blush and fight back a rather pleased smile. That is until he added, “You’re the type of woman who needs to be in a solid relationship with a man before you give up that kind of trust and I’ll never be him,” he said gently.
“I know,” she reluctantly admitted on a sigh. As much as she wanted to try sex, and she did as long as she wasn’t split in two, she also had to admit that she just couldn’t sleep with anyone. She wished that she could, but she had too many trust issues to be able to do something like that. She wondered if Nick realized that since the beginning of this agreement.
“What I can give you,” Nick said, pressing another kiss to her lips, “is fun.”
“Fun?” she repeated, too curious to pretend otherwise.
“Mmmmhmm,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips again almost as if he couldn’t help himself, which pleased her greatly. She liked the idea of a man like Nick wanting her, even if it meant nothing. “We can enjoy each other during this tour,” he said, cupping her chin between his fingers and gently giving her a nudge to look into his eyes, “but you need to understand that this isn’t going to lead anywhere, Jamie. I can’t be the kind of guy that you need. All I can offer you is a little no strings attached fun and I’m not sure that would be enough for you.”
Jamie thought about what he was saying as she absently snuggled closer to him, needing his warmth. When he pulled her the rest of the way she laid her hand against his warm chest. “So what you’re saying is that you’re not looking for any sort of commitment and that I shouldn’t expect one from you, because you don’t want a relationship, but you’re willing to spend time together during this tour,” she said, summing it up.
He nodded slowly. “I can’t promise that this will even last to the end of the tour, Jamie. I don’t do relationships and even that might be more than I can handle.
If we do this I need to know that you understand everything going into this or we can’t do this, Jamie. We work together and I don’t want any drama at work. Do you understand?”
“Meaning I shouldn’t expect anything or get upset if you lose interest tomorrow,” she said, shoving away her disappointment. She was on this tour to experience things and if she only had one day with Nick then she would simply treasure the experience and move on. She knew he wasn’t the type of guy to settle down and she wasn’t going to expect it.
Nick sighed heavily as he leaned in and pressed a kiss against her forehead.
“I’m sorry, Jamie, but that’s all I can give you.”
“Okay,” she said, deciding that she wasn’t going to worry about tomorrow, but enjoy him now. “Just understand that sex is not an option,” she said, knowing that without sex he would lose interest a lot quicker.
“That’s fine,” he said, slowly smiling. “There are other things that we can do,”
he said even as he leaned in to kiss her again.
“Other things?” she asked against his lips, too curious to focus on the kissing.
“Mmmmhmmm, other things,” he murmured against her lips as his hand slid between them and cupped her breast. “A lot of other things,” he said softly as he gently guided her onto her back.
“B-but no sex,” she reminded him even as her body trembled.
“No sex,” he repeated smoothly as he leaned in and kissed her again.
Lying on her back like this, she felt exposed and had to grab the floral comforter to stop herself from covering herself up. She’d never been very comfortable with her body and having a man like Nick, who’d probably been with more beautiful woman and probably found her lacking, made her even more nervous.
