A Reclusive Heart
Page 31
She was his.
At least until he got over this weird obsession with her and he would, eventually. For right now he enjoyed being with her, laughing with her and doing absolutely nothing with her. It made the not having actual sex part worth it which was crazy. He normally didn’t waste his time on a woman if she wasn’t going to put out, Dana excluded, but for her it was well worth it.
“You’re not ready for sex yet, Jamie, and if you go do this now you’re going to feel worse in the morning,” he calmly pointed out.
For the first time since he entered the room she looked at him. “Oh, and I suppose you’re an expert on when people are ready for sex? How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
“Twelve,” he said flatly.
“Twelve?” she repeated in disbelief.
He nodded as he took another sip of the Coke that now felt like acid in his stomach. “It was a thirteenth birthday gift from my mother. She asked one of her friends to do the honors,” he said, not really sure why he was talking about this when he usually made it a point to pretend that his childhood never happened. He sure as hell never shared any of the gory details with anyone and never planned to, but with Jamie he felt comfortable telling her. Maybe it was because he knew that his little recluse wasn’t into gossip. Whenever people were gossiping around her she seemed really uncomfortable and always excused herself even if that meant she had to go stand in a corner all alone.
“I-I thought you said you were twelve,” she mumbled.
“I was. She had no idea how old I was. The only reason she knew it was my birthday was because the school sent home a general birthday announcement and she just happened to read it,” he said with a shrug as if it had been no big deal.
At the time he’d been ecstatic that his mother was showing him interest. All day she called him her “little man.” They even celebrated his birthday. It wasn’t much, beer, chips and video games. When eight o’clock rolled around his mother and her friends were drunk enough that they actually thought popping his cherry that night was called for. When his “Aunt” Judy took him by the hand and his mother handed him a condom and smiled at him he hadn’t wanted to disappointed them.
Two minutes after the most humiliating experience of his life Judy patted his cheek and told him the next time would cost him fifty dollars.
There hadn’t been a next time with Judy or any of his mother’s friends. He stayed clear of hookers and strippers. He might use strippers when he needed to convince a vendor to give him what he wanted, but he wouldn’t touch one with a ten foot stick never mind his”And you think that experience makes you an expert on when someone is ready?” she demanded, sounding agitated, angry and so damn hurt that his heart actually ached for her.
“No,” he said, shaking his head as he turned to look at her. “I just know that you’re not ready for this, Jamie, and rushing off to do this because your family hurt you is only going to cause you pain. Don’t let them push you into something that you’ll only regret later.”
“This has nothing to do with them!” she snapped, quickly climbing off the bed and away from him. “I’d already decided to do this before I found out,” she announced, surprising the hell out of him. She’d decided to sleep with him? That was actually kind of flattering and apparently all his damn dick needed to hear before it took notice and stood at attention.
“Then why didn’t you talk to me about it before?” he asked, climbing off the bed and setting his empty can on the coffee table.
“Because it had nothing to do with you!” she snapped in irritation as she practically stomped out of the room, leaving him there to process her words and when he finally did he went after her.
He found her already na**d and climbing into the shower. “What the hell do you mean it had nothing to do with me? How could it not have anything to do with me?” he demanded, grabbing her by the arms and yanking her away from the shower so that she couldn’t avoid this conversation.
“Exactly what it sounds like,” she said, yanking her arms away and turning her back on him as she climbed into the tub.
“Bullshit,” he snapped, stepping in behind her, uncaring that was getting his clothes wet. “This morning you couldn’t get enough of me and then all of a sudden you’re ready for sex and looking elsewhere? I’m not buying it, Jamie. So why don’t you tell me what the f**k is going on here.”
“Nothing is going on,” she said evenly as she pushed him to the side and climbed out of the tub. She stalked out of the bathroom na**d and wet and he was right behind her.
“Then do you mind letting me know what I did exactly to piss you the hell off?” he demanded, grabbing her hand and forcing her to turn around to face him.
“Are you serious?” she demanded, taking a step closer to glare up at him.
“Deadly. One minute you’re just as hot for me as I am for you and now you’re telling me that you’re ready for sex, but only if it’s with another guy,” he said, taking a step forward and backing her up until the back of her knees hit and the bed.
“I don’t understand your problem, Nick. You’re the one who ended things this morning. I’m just following your lead and moving on.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t end things with you,” he said, somehow resisting the urge to grab her and give her a good shake. What hell was she thinking? He couldn’t stop thinking about her and she thought he was done with her? Not even by a long shot.
“Then what exactly do you call making plans with another woman right in front of me?” she demanded, looking so damn hurt and alone that he wished like hell that he hadn’t been a moron. “I call that ending things, wouldn’t you?”
“No, I call it a moment of stupidity, Jamie. I don’t want to be with her,” he explained slowly. When she snorted and moved to step past him he cupped her damp face in his hands to stop her. “It was a reflexive thing for me to say, Jamie. I wasn’t thinking at the moment. Since I knew the next time I came here this tour would be over I didn’t think much about making a promise that I didn’t plan to keep. Trust me if I wanted her I wouldn’t be here. I threw her number away as soon as I was done talking to her.”
“Why didn’t you go home with her tonight?” she asked so softly that he nearly missed it.
“Because she wasn’t you, Jamie,” he said, leaning down to brush his lips against hers to offer some comfort.
Of course the second his lips touched hers he needed more from her, needed her. He knew it was the same for her. Whatever this thing was between them it left them helpless to fight it. Simply touching her and kissing her never seemed to be enough. He could never seem to get close enough to her and always wanted more.
She sighed a little hungry moan into his mouth as she frantically worked at the buttons on his wet shirt while he reached between them and struggled with his equally soaked leather belt and pants. His zipper was barely down before they were on the bed. He settled himself between her legs even as he raised himself up so that he could slide a finger inside of her only to find her soaking wet.
It never failed to make his blood boil to discover just how turned on his little recluse could get. When she rolled her h*ps to ride his finger he was forced to release his poor c**k from his wet underwear to relieve some pressure. She felt so good and so damn perfect.
When she wrapped her legs around his waist he didn’t even question it. He just went with it even as his brain screamed for him to back the hell off and give her space. She was upset and for good reason and he knew that he should back off. She wasn’t thinking clearly, but he wanted her so damn badly that he couldn’t think straight. That always happened around her. As he settled between her legs he prayed that she wouldn’t regret this later, but he just had to be sure…..
“Is this what you want?” he asked against her lips, pressing the tip of his c**k to her core and nearly groaning in pleasure as hot liquid coated him.
“Yes!” she hissed out as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and deepened the kiss until he couldn’t take anymore and pushed inside of her.
At least until he got over this weird obsession with her and he would, eventually. For right now he enjoyed being with her, laughing with her and doing absolutely nothing with her. It made the not having actual sex part worth it which was crazy. He normally didn’t waste his time on a woman if she wasn’t going to put out, Dana excluded, but for her it was well worth it.
“You’re not ready for sex yet, Jamie, and if you go do this now you’re going to feel worse in the morning,” he calmly pointed out.
For the first time since he entered the room she looked at him. “Oh, and I suppose you’re an expert on when people are ready for sex? How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
“Twelve,” he said flatly.
“Twelve?” she repeated in disbelief.
He nodded as he took another sip of the Coke that now felt like acid in his stomach. “It was a thirteenth birthday gift from my mother. She asked one of her friends to do the honors,” he said, not really sure why he was talking about this when he usually made it a point to pretend that his childhood never happened. He sure as hell never shared any of the gory details with anyone and never planned to, but with Jamie he felt comfortable telling her. Maybe it was because he knew that his little recluse wasn’t into gossip. Whenever people were gossiping around her she seemed really uncomfortable and always excused herself even if that meant she had to go stand in a corner all alone.
“I-I thought you said you were twelve,” she mumbled.
“I was. She had no idea how old I was. The only reason she knew it was my birthday was because the school sent home a general birthday announcement and she just happened to read it,” he said with a shrug as if it had been no big deal.
At the time he’d been ecstatic that his mother was showing him interest. All day she called him her “little man.” They even celebrated his birthday. It wasn’t much, beer, chips and video games. When eight o’clock rolled around his mother and her friends were drunk enough that they actually thought popping his cherry that night was called for. When his “Aunt” Judy took him by the hand and his mother handed him a condom and smiled at him he hadn’t wanted to disappointed them.
Two minutes after the most humiliating experience of his life Judy patted his cheek and told him the next time would cost him fifty dollars.
There hadn’t been a next time with Judy or any of his mother’s friends. He stayed clear of hookers and strippers. He might use strippers when he needed to convince a vendor to give him what he wanted, but he wouldn’t touch one with a ten foot stick never mind his”And you think that experience makes you an expert on when someone is ready?” she demanded, sounding agitated, angry and so damn hurt that his heart actually ached for her.
“No,” he said, shaking his head as he turned to look at her. “I just know that you’re not ready for this, Jamie, and rushing off to do this because your family hurt you is only going to cause you pain. Don’t let them push you into something that you’ll only regret later.”
“This has nothing to do with them!” she snapped, quickly climbing off the bed and away from him. “I’d already decided to do this before I found out,” she announced, surprising the hell out of him. She’d decided to sleep with him? That was actually kind of flattering and apparently all his damn dick needed to hear before it took notice and stood at attention.
“Then why didn’t you talk to me about it before?” he asked, climbing off the bed and setting his empty can on the coffee table.
“Because it had nothing to do with you!” she snapped in irritation as she practically stomped out of the room, leaving him there to process her words and when he finally did he went after her.
He found her already na**d and climbing into the shower. “What the hell do you mean it had nothing to do with me? How could it not have anything to do with me?” he demanded, grabbing her by the arms and yanking her away from the shower so that she couldn’t avoid this conversation.
“Exactly what it sounds like,” she said, yanking her arms away and turning her back on him as she climbed into the tub.
“Bullshit,” he snapped, stepping in behind her, uncaring that was getting his clothes wet. “This morning you couldn’t get enough of me and then all of a sudden you’re ready for sex and looking elsewhere? I’m not buying it, Jamie. So why don’t you tell me what the f**k is going on here.”
“Nothing is going on,” she said evenly as she pushed him to the side and climbed out of the tub. She stalked out of the bathroom na**d and wet and he was right behind her.
“Then do you mind letting me know what I did exactly to piss you the hell off?” he demanded, grabbing her hand and forcing her to turn around to face him.
“Are you serious?” she demanded, taking a step closer to glare up at him.
“Deadly. One minute you’re just as hot for me as I am for you and now you’re telling me that you’re ready for sex, but only if it’s with another guy,” he said, taking a step forward and backing her up until the back of her knees hit and the bed.
“I don’t understand your problem, Nick. You’re the one who ended things this morning. I’m just following your lead and moving on.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t end things with you,” he said, somehow resisting the urge to grab her and give her a good shake. What hell was she thinking? He couldn’t stop thinking about her and she thought he was done with her? Not even by a long shot.
“Then what exactly do you call making plans with another woman right in front of me?” she demanded, looking so damn hurt and alone that he wished like hell that he hadn’t been a moron. “I call that ending things, wouldn’t you?”
“No, I call it a moment of stupidity, Jamie. I don’t want to be with her,” he explained slowly. When she snorted and moved to step past him he cupped her damp face in his hands to stop her. “It was a reflexive thing for me to say, Jamie. I wasn’t thinking at the moment. Since I knew the next time I came here this tour would be over I didn’t think much about making a promise that I didn’t plan to keep. Trust me if I wanted her I wouldn’t be here. I threw her number away as soon as I was done talking to her.”
“Why didn’t you go home with her tonight?” she asked so softly that he nearly missed it.
“Because she wasn’t you, Jamie,” he said, leaning down to brush his lips against hers to offer some comfort.
Of course the second his lips touched hers he needed more from her, needed her. He knew it was the same for her. Whatever this thing was between them it left them helpless to fight it. Simply touching her and kissing her never seemed to be enough. He could never seem to get close enough to her and always wanted more.
She sighed a little hungry moan into his mouth as she frantically worked at the buttons on his wet shirt while he reached between them and struggled with his equally soaked leather belt and pants. His zipper was barely down before they were on the bed. He settled himself between her legs even as he raised himself up so that he could slide a finger inside of her only to find her soaking wet.
It never failed to make his blood boil to discover just how turned on his little recluse could get. When she rolled her h*ps to ride his finger he was forced to release his poor c**k from his wet underwear to relieve some pressure. She felt so good and so damn perfect.
When she wrapped her legs around his waist he didn’t even question it. He just went with it even as his brain screamed for him to back the hell off and give her space. She was upset and for good reason and he knew that he should back off. She wasn’t thinking clearly, but he wanted her so damn badly that he couldn’t think straight. That always happened around her. As he settled between her legs he prayed that she wouldn’t regret this later, but he just had to be sure…..
“Is this what you want?” he asked against her lips, pressing the tip of his c**k to her core and nearly groaning in pleasure as hot liquid coated him.
“Yes!” she hissed out as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and deepened the kiss until he couldn’t take anymore and pushed inside of her.
