A Reclusive Heart
Page 48
When she folded her arms over her chest defensively and turned away from him he stepped up behind her, careful not to touch her in any way.
“Tell me that you don’t care about me, Jamie, and you can go,” he said softly.
“I don’t!” she cried, but he didn’t believe her.
“You’re lying,” he said tightly, keeping his voice low and even as he resisted the urge to take her into his arms and shake some sense into her.
“No, I’m not, Nick. We’re over. I don’t care about you and I never want to see you again,” she said, her voice breaking as she struggled not to cry.
“Look me in the eye and say that,” he said, praying like hell that he wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t be wrong, not about her. She was his little recluse, his sweet, loving Jamie and he knew that she cared about him.
Slowly, so damn slowly that he thought his heart was going to burst in two, she turned around. When she looked up at him and didn’t quite meet his eyes he had his answer.
“I don’t love you, Nick. Please just let me go,” she said, keeping her eyes averted to the right as her chin trembled and her body shook as she struggled to hold back the sobs that he knew were threatening to escape.
“You’re a liar,” he said softly as he reached over and gently cupped her face in his hands.
“No, I’m not!” she cried out as tears began to stream down her face and she tried to step away from him, but he wouldn’t allow it. He was done playing this game and wanted to know why she was so damn willing to break his heart.
“Look me in the eye, Jamie, and tell me that you don’t love me,” he demanded softly even as he carefully wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
“I did,” she mumbled, sounding miserable.
“No, you didn’t, baby. Look me right in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me and I will let you go, Jamie,” he promised, knowing he would, but that it would probably kill him.
Beautiful glimmering caramel eyes looked up and locked on his. He watched as she worked her mouth soundlessly for several minutes before finally closing her mouth and looking away from him in defeat.
“If you can’t tell me that you don’t love me then why don’t you tell me why you’re willing to lie to me, Jamie?” he suggested, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Tell me why you’re willing to break my heart,” he whispered against her forehead.
Instead of answering him she shook her head, but thankfully didn’t try to step away from him. He dropped his hands from her face and without a word swept her up into his arms and carried her down the hallway. When she still didn’t speak he started to become a little nervous. He sat down on the leather loveseat and adjusted her in his arms until she was straddling his lap. Once he was done he took both of her cool hands into his and pressed a kiss to each palm.
“Are you upset about the video?” he asked, feeling like an idiot. Of course she was up about the video, but he didn’t know if that was the reason that she was pulling away. “If I had known, I-“
“It’s not the video,” she whispered.
“Then what is it?”
“I shouldn’t be around you.”
“Why? Because I’m a bad influence?” he asked teasingly, hoping to get her to smile. When her lips twitched he damn near sighed in relief.
“Because of the threat. If you’re around me you might get hurt.”
“And you don’t want me to get hurt?” he guessed.
She shook her head.
“Because you love me?”
“Maybe,” she mumbled, pulling her hands away so that she could play with one of the buttons on his shirt.
“Maybe?” he repeated, trying not to glare at the stubborn woman as he continued. “You thought by pushing me away that you were protecting me.”
“If you’re not around me then you won’t be hurt,” she said firmly as she looked up and met his eyes.
“Uh huh,” he said, wondering if he should just spank her ass now or cut off her chocolate supply. It was his job to protect her and he really didn’t appreciate her interference. It was touching that she cared about him enough to protect him, but really the woman needed to let him do his damn job, he decided with a shrug as he rearranged her on his lap until she was lying across his knees.
Chapter 28
“Oh, no you don’t,” Nick said, swiping the large coffee roll with extra icing out of her hand.
“But I need that!” She made a mad grab for it, but Nick simply ignored her as he put it back in the white bakery box and dropped the box in the top drawer of the tall black filing cabinet near his desk. When he closed the drawer and locked it she considered kicking him in the shin and stealing the key out of his hand.
“No, you don’t,” he murmured as he pulled her into his arms and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “You’ve already met your sugar quota this morning,” he explained before taking her hand and pulling her towards the door.
“Hey! You don’t get to set my sugar quota,” she muttered pathetically as she threw a look of longing over her shoulder at the filing cabinet.
“I do when I wake up at three in the morning to discover a mound of empty candy bar wrappers-“
“It wasn’t a mound,” she muttered, ducking her head in embarrassment the second he pulled her into the busy hallway.
He of course ignored her denial and kept going. “-the bedroom light on and you tearing through your boxes and bags in search of your next fix,” he said, sounding amused, but she really couldn’t tell since he was looking ahead and of course she was still staring at the ground.
“I was hungry,” she pointed out only partially lying. She had been hungry since they didn’t get a chance to eat last night. After he spanked her, and she still couldn’t believe the big jerk did that or more importantly her reaction to it, he taken her in what seemed like every room and every position he could think of as if he were trying to prove something. The only thing he managed to prove was that the man was a god in bed, or rather on the couch, stairs, against the wall, shower, etc.
When he’d finally had enough around one this morning and passed out she’d been left exhausted, but too worried to fall asleep. She was worried about his job and she knew it was in jeopardy even though he tried to play it off like it was nothing to worry about. She was also worried that the stubborn man was going to get himself killed by sticking around her.
The few times she got an opportunity to try and explain that he needed to put some space between them had ended with a murderous glare and her screaming his name until she thought her head would explode. The man was too stubborn to think clearly. She knew that he thought he was in love with her, but she also noticed that he hadn’t spoken a word about the future. There was no point in asking if there was a future when she knew there wouldn’t be. He’d told her that he couldn’t give her a future and she knew that his telling her that he loved her hadn’t changed that.
As much as it hurt, it was also a bit of a relief because that meant that she still had a chance to explain things and help him see that he really shouldn’t be taking any chances by being around her. She knew he felt protective of her and that was sweet, but she really could take care of herself and besides, the police were looking into it. Plus, she was planning on being careful, really careful so there really was nothing to worry about.
After a moment she realized that the usually busy office that made her nervous with its constant “Go, go, go” mentality was eerily quiet. Had everyone left?
she wondered as she chanced a peek and immediately wished that she hadn’t. The normally busy office was still overflowing with people, but instead of rushing off here and there like they normally would they were all standing around, staring at her and Nick.
Her cheeks burned as she registered looks of disgust from most of the women and a few leering looks from some of the men. Of course they’d seen the video, she realized, feeling like an idiot. Everyone on earth probably saw that video by now and thanks to that little performance they probably thought that she was a slut.
“Tell me that you don’t care about me, Jamie, and you can go,” he said softly.
“I don’t!” she cried, but he didn’t believe her.
“You’re lying,” he said tightly, keeping his voice low and even as he resisted the urge to take her into his arms and shake some sense into her.
“No, I’m not, Nick. We’re over. I don’t care about you and I never want to see you again,” she said, her voice breaking as she struggled not to cry.
“Look me in the eye and say that,” he said, praying like hell that he wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t be wrong, not about her. She was his little recluse, his sweet, loving Jamie and he knew that she cared about him.
Slowly, so damn slowly that he thought his heart was going to burst in two, she turned around. When she looked up at him and didn’t quite meet his eyes he had his answer.
“I don’t love you, Nick. Please just let me go,” she said, keeping her eyes averted to the right as her chin trembled and her body shook as she struggled to hold back the sobs that he knew were threatening to escape.
“You’re a liar,” he said softly as he reached over and gently cupped her face in his hands.
“No, I’m not!” she cried out as tears began to stream down her face and she tried to step away from him, but he wouldn’t allow it. He was done playing this game and wanted to know why she was so damn willing to break his heart.
“Look me in the eye, Jamie, and tell me that you don’t love me,” he demanded softly even as he carefully wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
“I did,” she mumbled, sounding miserable.
“No, you didn’t, baby. Look me right in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me and I will let you go, Jamie,” he promised, knowing he would, but that it would probably kill him.
Beautiful glimmering caramel eyes looked up and locked on his. He watched as she worked her mouth soundlessly for several minutes before finally closing her mouth and looking away from him in defeat.
“If you can’t tell me that you don’t love me then why don’t you tell me why you’re willing to lie to me, Jamie?” he suggested, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Tell me why you’re willing to break my heart,” he whispered against her forehead.
Instead of answering him she shook her head, but thankfully didn’t try to step away from him. He dropped his hands from her face and without a word swept her up into his arms and carried her down the hallway. When she still didn’t speak he started to become a little nervous. He sat down on the leather loveseat and adjusted her in his arms until she was straddling his lap. Once he was done he took both of her cool hands into his and pressed a kiss to each palm.
“Are you upset about the video?” he asked, feeling like an idiot. Of course she was up about the video, but he didn’t know if that was the reason that she was pulling away. “If I had known, I-“
“It’s not the video,” she whispered.
“Then what is it?”
“I shouldn’t be around you.”
“Why? Because I’m a bad influence?” he asked teasingly, hoping to get her to smile. When her lips twitched he damn near sighed in relief.
“Because of the threat. If you’re around me you might get hurt.”
“And you don’t want me to get hurt?” he guessed.
She shook her head.
“Because you love me?”
“Maybe,” she mumbled, pulling her hands away so that she could play with one of the buttons on his shirt.
“Maybe?” he repeated, trying not to glare at the stubborn woman as he continued. “You thought by pushing me away that you were protecting me.”
“If you’re not around me then you won’t be hurt,” she said firmly as she looked up and met his eyes.
“Uh huh,” he said, wondering if he should just spank her ass now or cut off her chocolate supply. It was his job to protect her and he really didn’t appreciate her interference. It was touching that she cared about him enough to protect him, but really the woman needed to let him do his damn job, he decided with a shrug as he rearranged her on his lap until she was lying across his knees.
Chapter 28
“Oh, no you don’t,” Nick said, swiping the large coffee roll with extra icing out of her hand.
“But I need that!” She made a mad grab for it, but Nick simply ignored her as he put it back in the white bakery box and dropped the box in the top drawer of the tall black filing cabinet near his desk. When he closed the drawer and locked it she considered kicking him in the shin and stealing the key out of his hand.
“No, you don’t,” he murmured as he pulled her into his arms and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “You’ve already met your sugar quota this morning,” he explained before taking her hand and pulling her towards the door.
“Hey! You don’t get to set my sugar quota,” she muttered pathetically as she threw a look of longing over her shoulder at the filing cabinet.
“I do when I wake up at three in the morning to discover a mound of empty candy bar wrappers-“
“It wasn’t a mound,” she muttered, ducking her head in embarrassment the second he pulled her into the busy hallway.
He of course ignored her denial and kept going. “-the bedroom light on and you tearing through your boxes and bags in search of your next fix,” he said, sounding amused, but she really couldn’t tell since he was looking ahead and of course she was still staring at the ground.
“I was hungry,” she pointed out only partially lying. She had been hungry since they didn’t get a chance to eat last night. After he spanked her, and she still couldn’t believe the big jerk did that or more importantly her reaction to it, he taken her in what seemed like every room and every position he could think of as if he were trying to prove something. The only thing he managed to prove was that the man was a god in bed, or rather on the couch, stairs, against the wall, shower, etc.
When he’d finally had enough around one this morning and passed out she’d been left exhausted, but too worried to fall asleep. She was worried about his job and she knew it was in jeopardy even though he tried to play it off like it was nothing to worry about. She was also worried that the stubborn man was going to get himself killed by sticking around her.
The few times she got an opportunity to try and explain that he needed to put some space between them had ended with a murderous glare and her screaming his name until she thought her head would explode. The man was too stubborn to think clearly. She knew that he thought he was in love with her, but she also noticed that he hadn’t spoken a word about the future. There was no point in asking if there was a future when she knew there wouldn’t be. He’d told her that he couldn’t give her a future and she knew that his telling her that he loved her hadn’t changed that.
As much as it hurt, it was also a bit of a relief because that meant that she still had a chance to explain things and help him see that he really shouldn’t be taking any chances by being around her. She knew he felt protective of her and that was sweet, but she really could take care of herself and besides, the police were looking into it. Plus, she was planning on being careful, really careful so there really was nothing to worry about.
After a moment she realized that the usually busy office that made her nervous with its constant “Go, go, go” mentality was eerily quiet. Had everyone left?
she wondered as she chanced a peek and immediately wished that she hadn’t. The normally busy office was still overflowing with people, but instead of rushing off here and there like they normally would they were all standing around, staring at her and Nick.
Her cheeks burned as she registered looks of disgust from most of the women and a few leering looks from some of the men. Of course they’d seen the video, she realized, feeling like an idiot. Everyone on earth probably saw that video by now and thanks to that little performance they probably thought that she was a slut.
