A Second Chance
Page 11
He cleared his throat and gave a glance toward the door and back to her. “Oh, I can stay as long as you’d like me to.”
“My parents are on their way, so really you don’t need to uproot your life for me.”
Again, he only nodded. The silence was suffocating her, and she knew he was as uncomfortable as she was. When he stood and paced the room with his hands in his pockets, she knew for a fact it would be the last time she’d see him. In his head he was working up one of his speeches—because Matt didn’t make excuses. When he was ready to tell you what was on his mind, he did. “This might not be the time to do this, but I want to apologize for everything that happened between us.”
There was a heaviness in her chest, the kind that came with years of regret. “Matt, I think since the day we decided to get married, we knew it wasn’t going to be forever.”
“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You deserved better than me. I never should have asked you to marry me. You were still in love with Carlos, and I ruined a twenty-year friendship with someone I considered my brother.”
Damn the drugs. Tears were filling her eyes, and she shouldn’t care at this point. She was lying here bandaged up because they were trying to save her life. “Are you sorry you married me?”
“No, I’m not sorry.” He cleared his throat again. “It was great, while it lasted.” Finally, he sat back down, and she adjusted to see him better. “It’s just that I think when two people share their lives, they should love each other. I mean…” He was stumbling through his words. “What I want to say is… well… I did love you. I loved you like one of my best friends. You know?” She nodded. That’s how she’d felt and she agreed. They should have been in love. “The hardest part was to know that you loved Carlos and you still do.”
He was right again. It was always obvious that she loved Carlos more than she ever loved Matt. Acknowledging that only gave the pain she was feeling more depth as it drove into the pit of her stomach.
He stood again and paced. “God, this is killing me.”
“Matt, what’s going on?” She tried to sit up, but the bandages and wires held her in place.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“Then why did you?” Her voice slipped into anger, and by the look in his eyes he’d noticed.
“I needed to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. I’ll live. For now anyway.”
He pursed his lips. “That’s not funny.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
“I’m getting married.” The words hit her like a fist in the stomach.
“Married?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to tell you like this…”
“My guess, Matthew, is that you didn’t want to tell me at all!” The anger inside of her ramped up her heart rate. She heard the beeping on the machine speed up, and she took a deep breath.
“You should calm down.”
“Go to hell. You’ve been gone one month. Did you move on so quickly? Did I mean so little?”
He shot a look at the door again. “I think I should go.”
“I think you should be honest with me.” The monitor to her side began beeping even faster, and she wondered if a nurse would burst through the door and make him leave, but no one came.
“You want me to be honest?” For the first time he made eye contact with her. “Fine.” He stuffed his hands back into his pockets. “After Regan found out she was pregnant, you began pulling out pictures of you and Carlos and the kids. They were everywhere. You called him more often. You had lunch with him to discuss the kids. God, Madeline, it was like you had both of us on a string.”
The deep breaths she’d been trying to take stuck in her lungs. She’d done that. She’d been that insensitive, and she didn’t know it. “I’m sorry if I got sentimental.”
“It’s just that, well, I couldn’t get a grip on it. I couldn’t share in that joy with you. I didn’t love you like he loved you.” He sat back down and took her hand in his. “I strayed. God, it hurts to tell you that. I had an affair. I fell in love. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Now she was holding her breath to stifle the anger. But tears that should have surfaced because her husband was telling he he’d fallen in love with someone else never came.
He looked away and then back at her. “She’s pregnant and we’re getting married and having a baby.”
“Nice and tidy,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, well just think, maybe you and Carlos can work things out. He’s spent the last five years waiting for our marriage to fall apart so he could have you back.”
“You are so stupid.” She snapped out the words so fiercely that pain shot through her and had her biting back a scream. “Have you not listened to the kids for the last six months? He’s in love with someone and she just moved in with him. They’ll probably get married.”
“Oh.” He stood. “I guess I didn’t realize…”
“You should have stayed in Kentucky.”
“Listen, if there is anything I can do for you…”
“You can get the hell out of my room and go on with your life. Your community service here is done.” She rolled away from him, wincing from the pain it caused, and didn’t turn back until she heard the door close behind him.
Her parents were there when she woke the next morning. Her mother had been crying for two days straight and couldn’t even look at her. How was she supposed to be of any help?
Her father sat in the corner of her room and just watched her mother fidget. These were the reasons she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about her surgery.
As the day crept into evening, the door had opened and her children had walked through. Finally, she thought, people who brought her real joy.
Each of them hugged her and then their grandparents. Even Christian had made it into the room and to her side before backing against a wall, neutral like her father.
She looked up into Eduardo’s dark, sad eyes. “I didn’t expect you.”
“Dad wanted us to see you.” Eduardo held her hand. “You look better.”
“I’m feeling a little better. They’ll take my drain tubes out, and I’ll be out in a day or so.”
“My parents are on their way, so really you don’t need to uproot your life for me.”
Again, he only nodded. The silence was suffocating her, and she knew he was as uncomfortable as she was. When he stood and paced the room with his hands in his pockets, she knew for a fact it would be the last time she’d see him. In his head he was working up one of his speeches—because Matt didn’t make excuses. When he was ready to tell you what was on his mind, he did. “This might not be the time to do this, but I want to apologize for everything that happened between us.”
There was a heaviness in her chest, the kind that came with years of regret. “Matt, I think since the day we decided to get married, we knew it wasn’t going to be forever.”
“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You deserved better than me. I never should have asked you to marry me. You were still in love with Carlos, and I ruined a twenty-year friendship with someone I considered my brother.”
Damn the drugs. Tears were filling her eyes, and she shouldn’t care at this point. She was lying here bandaged up because they were trying to save her life. “Are you sorry you married me?”
“No, I’m not sorry.” He cleared his throat again. “It was great, while it lasted.” Finally, he sat back down, and she adjusted to see him better. “It’s just that I think when two people share their lives, they should love each other. I mean…” He was stumbling through his words. “What I want to say is… well… I did love you. I loved you like one of my best friends. You know?” She nodded. That’s how she’d felt and she agreed. They should have been in love. “The hardest part was to know that you loved Carlos and you still do.”
He was right again. It was always obvious that she loved Carlos more than she ever loved Matt. Acknowledging that only gave the pain she was feeling more depth as it drove into the pit of her stomach.
He stood again and paced. “God, this is killing me.”
“Matt, what’s going on?” She tried to sit up, but the bandages and wires held her in place.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
“Then why did you?” Her voice slipped into anger, and by the look in his eyes he’d noticed.
“I needed to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. I’ll live. For now anyway.”
He pursed his lips. “That’s not funny.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
“I’m getting married.” The words hit her like a fist in the stomach.
“Married?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to tell you like this…”
“My guess, Matthew, is that you didn’t want to tell me at all!” The anger inside of her ramped up her heart rate. She heard the beeping on the machine speed up, and she took a deep breath.
“You should calm down.”
“Go to hell. You’ve been gone one month. Did you move on so quickly? Did I mean so little?”
He shot a look at the door again. “I think I should go.”
“I think you should be honest with me.” The monitor to her side began beeping even faster, and she wondered if a nurse would burst through the door and make him leave, but no one came.
“You want me to be honest?” For the first time he made eye contact with her. “Fine.” He stuffed his hands back into his pockets. “After Regan found out she was pregnant, you began pulling out pictures of you and Carlos and the kids. They were everywhere. You called him more often. You had lunch with him to discuss the kids. God, Madeline, it was like you had both of us on a string.”
The deep breaths she’d been trying to take stuck in her lungs. She’d done that. She’d been that insensitive, and she didn’t know it. “I’m sorry if I got sentimental.”
“It’s just that, well, I couldn’t get a grip on it. I couldn’t share in that joy with you. I didn’t love you like he loved you.” He sat back down and took her hand in his. “I strayed. God, it hurts to tell you that. I had an affair. I fell in love. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Now she was holding her breath to stifle the anger. But tears that should have surfaced because her husband was telling he he’d fallen in love with someone else never came.
He looked away and then back at her. “She’s pregnant and we’re getting married and having a baby.”
“Nice and tidy,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, well just think, maybe you and Carlos can work things out. He’s spent the last five years waiting for our marriage to fall apart so he could have you back.”
“You are so stupid.” She snapped out the words so fiercely that pain shot through her and had her biting back a scream. “Have you not listened to the kids for the last six months? He’s in love with someone and she just moved in with him. They’ll probably get married.”
“Oh.” He stood. “I guess I didn’t realize…”
“You should have stayed in Kentucky.”
“Listen, if there is anything I can do for you…”
“You can get the hell out of my room and go on with your life. Your community service here is done.” She rolled away from him, wincing from the pain it caused, and didn’t turn back until she heard the door close behind him.
Her parents were there when she woke the next morning. Her mother had been crying for two days straight and couldn’t even look at her. How was she supposed to be of any help?
Her father sat in the corner of her room and just watched her mother fidget. These were the reasons she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about her surgery.
As the day crept into evening, the door had opened and her children had walked through. Finally, she thought, people who brought her real joy.
Each of them hugged her and then their grandparents. Even Christian had made it into the room and to her side before backing against a wall, neutral like her father.
She looked up into Eduardo’s dark, sad eyes. “I didn’t expect you.”
“Dad wanted us to see you.” Eduardo held her hand. “You look better.”
“I’m feeling a little better. They’ll take my drain tubes out, and I’ll be out in a day or so.”
