A Second Chance
Page 18
“It does matter. You don’t do that! You don’t marry someone and then change your mind.” He couldn’t control his anger, and now he wasn’t sure if it was directed at Matt for leaving Madeline or Madeline for leaving him five years ago. Sitting there with her in his arms was confusing his thought process.
“I know I should be upset, but I’m not. I never loved him. Not like I should have.” Her shoulders dropped and her face turned into his chest. He could feel her breath on his neck and his heartbeat grew faster. “Not like I loved you.”
A sharp pain resonated in his chest. “You should get some more rest.” In his present state of mind he’d better not say any more. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised her as she rolled to her side.
He took the quilt from the foot of the bed and laid it over her. His mother had made it for them when Christian was born. It meant the world that she still used it and kept it close.
While she slept he made plans for the next day. He’d call in a substitute for one more day. He could afford to do that. They’d go to the doctor and he’d hear for himself how she was doing. From where he stood, it didn’t look like she was doing very well at all.
He met the kids at the bus stop when they got out of school and drove them back to Madeline’s. When Christian and Clara had made it into the house, he took hold of Eduardo’s arm and turned him toward him.
“You’ve been lying to me.” He narrowed his stare at his son and he could see anger rise in Eduardo’s eyes. “She’s lost ten pounds and has been sick for days. Her hair is falling out in clumps. She can hardly walk she’s so weak, and she sleeps all day. What part of that is fine to you?”
Eduardo pulled his arm back from his grasp. “Dad, she didn’t want me to say anything to you.”
“You needed to.”
“I was doing what she asked me to do. You’re so busy with Kathy, she didn’t want to worry you.”
“Too late.” It all boiled in his stomach. Madeline, Kathy, the kids…it all seemed so complicated.
“Why are you here? Did she call you?”
Carlos shook his head. “No, your brother called me from school because he was so worried about her. Ed, you needed to tell me. You’re not here during the day to take care of her. She needs more than you just making her breakfast and making sure she’s getting into bed each night.”
“Dad! Is that all you think I do?” His voice had risen to match Carlos’s anger.
Carlos rested his hand gently on his son’s shoulder. “No. No, I know you’re taking good care of her. I’m sorry.” He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a breath. “It kills me to see her like this.”
“Trust me. I know. I’m scared that every morning I’m going to go in to wake her up and she won’t. It’s almost a relief to hear her throwing up because I know at least she’s alive. I watch her when she falls asleep on the couch trying to help us with our homework. I watch her chest rise and fall. I ask her every morning to let me stay here, but it’s Mom, she refuses.”
“Of course she does.”
“I’m sure this is what happens on those meds. I asked Uncle Curtis and he said she sounds normal. But it’s hard to watch.”
“It is.” He put his arm around his son’s shoulders and walked with him toward the house. “I’m taking off tomorrow to go to the doctor’s appointment with her. I’ll find out all I can. If you have questions, let me know and I’ll try to answer them or get answers to them.” He kissed his son’s head as they walked through the front door of the home they all once shared. Carlos held open the screen as Eduardo walked through, and he let out a breath. If only he didn’t have to turn back around and leave to go back to his own house.
It was almost nine o’clock when he returned home. Kathy sat at the kitchen table with an empty plate in front of her. A full plate sat in front of the other chair.
Her arms were crossed over her chest and her foot tapped on the wood floor. They hadn’t had a fight yet in their relationship, but he had a feeling they were about to.
The color in Kathy’s cheeks deepened and she inhaled a deep breath. “I came home as quickly as I could. I left Audrey’s house and made a mad dash home to make you a special dinner and spend the evening with you.” She stood and dumped her plate into the sink. Bracing her hands on the counter, she looked out the window, over the sink, and out into the darkness. “Do I even have to ask where you were?”
“Kath, I’m sorry.”
“I’m done with sorry, Carlos.” She spun around. “You asked me to marry you. Do you even remember that?”
“Kathy…”
“Why in the hell did you ask me? Why did you lead me to believe that there was a future with us?” She walked to the table and picked up the full plate of food. She then dumped it into the sink, turned on the disposal, and began to sob.
Carlos moved to her and laid his hand on her back. He reached around her and turned off the disposal and absorbed the sound of her sobbing.
Kathy shook her head. “I knew from the moment I met you that I wasn’t Madeline. I don’t look like her. I’m not as smart as her. I’m not anything like her.”
“No you’re not,” he said softly turning her toward him. “You’re completely you, and that’s what I love.”
“But since she’s been sick, you’ve done nothing but spend your time with her.”
“I know.”
“It’s as if I don’t exist.”
“That’s not true.” He pulled her into his arms, and she rested her head against his chest.
“I miss you. I miss the kids. I feel like her husband left her so my family left me.”
His heart was racing. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but he was. Zach had been right. Sooner or later Kathy was going to break, and he suspected she’d hit her breaking point. But he couldn’t leave Maddie. She needed him too. The only thing he could do was be honest with Kathy.
“Listen,” he said pushing her back to look into her damp blue eyes. “I love you. So I need to tell you what’s going on. I need to be there for Madeline. I need to get her through this, for the kids.” She nodded. “She’s one of my oldest friends, and I share with her the one thing that has always made me whole. My family. I never meant to hurt you by caring for her.”
“I know I should be upset, but I’m not. I never loved him. Not like I should have.” Her shoulders dropped and her face turned into his chest. He could feel her breath on his neck and his heartbeat grew faster. “Not like I loved you.”
A sharp pain resonated in his chest. “You should get some more rest.” In his present state of mind he’d better not say any more. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised her as she rolled to her side.
He took the quilt from the foot of the bed and laid it over her. His mother had made it for them when Christian was born. It meant the world that she still used it and kept it close.
While she slept he made plans for the next day. He’d call in a substitute for one more day. He could afford to do that. They’d go to the doctor and he’d hear for himself how she was doing. From where he stood, it didn’t look like she was doing very well at all.
He met the kids at the bus stop when they got out of school and drove them back to Madeline’s. When Christian and Clara had made it into the house, he took hold of Eduardo’s arm and turned him toward him.
“You’ve been lying to me.” He narrowed his stare at his son and he could see anger rise in Eduardo’s eyes. “She’s lost ten pounds and has been sick for days. Her hair is falling out in clumps. She can hardly walk she’s so weak, and she sleeps all day. What part of that is fine to you?”
Eduardo pulled his arm back from his grasp. “Dad, she didn’t want me to say anything to you.”
“You needed to.”
“I was doing what she asked me to do. You’re so busy with Kathy, she didn’t want to worry you.”
“Too late.” It all boiled in his stomach. Madeline, Kathy, the kids…it all seemed so complicated.
“Why are you here? Did she call you?”
Carlos shook his head. “No, your brother called me from school because he was so worried about her. Ed, you needed to tell me. You’re not here during the day to take care of her. She needs more than you just making her breakfast and making sure she’s getting into bed each night.”
“Dad! Is that all you think I do?” His voice had risen to match Carlos’s anger.
Carlos rested his hand gently on his son’s shoulder. “No. No, I know you’re taking good care of her. I’m sorry.” He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a breath. “It kills me to see her like this.”
“Trust me. I know. I’m scared that every morning I’m going to go in to wake her up and she won’t. It’s almost a relief to hear her throwing up because I know at least she’s alive. I watch her when she falls asleep on the couch trying to help us with our homework. I watch her chest rise and fall. I ask her every morning to let me stay here, but it’s Mom, she refuses.”
“Of course she does.”
“I’m sure this is what happens on those meds. I asked Uncle Curtis and he said she sounds normal. But it’s hard to watch.”
“It is.” He put his arm around his son’s shoulders and walked with him toward the house. “I’m taking off tomorrow to go to the doctor’s appointment with her. I’ll find out all I can. If you have questions, let me know and I’ll try to answer them or get answers to them.” He kissed his son’s head as they walked through the front door of the home they all once shared. Carlos held open the screen as Eduardo walked through, and he let out a breath. If only he didn’t have to turn back around and leave to go back to his own house.
It was almost nine o’clock when he returned home. Kathy sat at the kitchen table with an empty plate in front of her. A full plate sat in front of the other chair.
Her arms were crossed over her chest and her foot tapped on the wood floor. They hadn’t had a fight yet in their relationship, but he had a feeling they were about to.
The color in Kathy’s cheeks deepened and she inhaled a deep breath. “I came home as quickly as I could. I left Audrey’s house and made a mad dash home to make you a special dinner and spend the evening with you.” She stood and dumped her plate into the sink. Bracing her hands on the counter, she looked out the window, over the sink, and out into the darkness. “Do I even have to ask where you were?”
“Kath, I’m sorry.”
“I’m done with sorry, Carlos.” She spun around. “You asked me to marry you. Do you even remember that?”
“Kathy…”
“Why in the hell did you ask me? Why did you lead me to believe that there was a future with us?” She walked to the table and picked up the full plate of food. She then dumped it into the sink, turned on the disposal, and began to sob.
Carlos moved to her and laid his hand on her back. He reached around her and turned off the disposal and absorbed the sound of her sobbing.
Kathy shook her head. “I knew from the moment I met you that I wasn’t Madeline. I don’t look like her. I’m not as smart as her. I’m not anything like her.”
“No you’re not,” he said softly turning her toward him. “You’re completely you, and that’s what I love.”
“But since she’s been sick, you’ve done nothing but spend your time with her.”
“I know.”
“It’s as if I don’t exist.”
“That’s not true.” He pulled her into his arms, and she rested her head against his chest.
“I miss you. I miss the kids. I feel like her husband left her so my family left me.”
His heart was racing. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but he was. Zach had been right. Sooner or later Kathy was going to break, and he suspected she’d hit her breaking point. But he couldn’t leave Maddie. She needed him too. The only thing he could do was be honest with Kathy.
“Listen,” he said pushing her back to look into her damp blue eyes. “I love you. So I need to tell you what’s going on. I need to be there for Madeline. I need to get her through this, for the kids.” She nodded. “She’s one of my oldest friends, and I share with her the one thing that has always made me whole. My family. I never meant to hurt you by caring for her.”
