A Second Chance
Page 24
“I’m going to talk to the kids about going back to our normal schedule. I know he misses them, and I have to start back to work in a week or so. It’s helped me having them around, but they need to be with you both too.”
“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, could we have them next week? I’ve planned for pictures. Engagement pictures, actually, but I’m not marrying just him, so I want the kids in the pictures too.”
The thought gnawed at her. Kathy was right. She wasn’t marrying just Carlos. She was marrying the whole family. Madeline swallowed back the pain of the thought and smiled. “I think that sounds nice.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I know how he worries about you.”
“Well, I think things are looking up. Hopefully by next Christmas I’ll be cancer free and I’ll be able to go to the company Christmas party in a strappy number and show off my new cleavage.” She laughed, but it was forced because no matter what her hair or body looked like, she wouldn’t be on the arm of the man she loved, and that hurt even worse.
Chapter Six
Kathy had sagged in the passenger seat of Carlos’s car like a deflated balloon when the kids went home with Madeline. The fewer people she had around her, the better off she would be.
She sat with her hands clenched in her lap, listening to Carlos go on and on about how good he thought Madeline looked and how wonderful it was to have her at dinner.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio. “I think I’ll have to make sure Regan goes by a few times and takes Tyler to see her. I think that was the best part. She looked so comfortable with him in her arms.”
He was positively ecstatic about the evening, and the very sound of his happy voice was raking across her nerves. The moment they pulled into the driveway, Kathy grabbed her purse and headed into the house while Carlos grabbed the bags of leftover ice cream from the trunk and put them away in the freezer. By the time he’d made it to their bedroom she’d gotten her pajamas on and brushed through her hair.
“Turning in early?”
She pulled back the sheets. “It’s nine o’clock. I have an early meeting in the morning.”
“I have some papers to grade. I’ll come to bed in just a little bit,” he said, moving toward her and kissing her. She couldn’t help but flinch when his lips touched her.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She meant for it to sound sincere, but it came out snappy. She looked away and swung her feet under the sheets. “Please turn off the light when you walk out.”
When she heard the door to his office close, she began to sob. Jealousy was ugly when it reared its nasty head. Jealousy on her was worse. But she couldn’t help it. Did he know how he looked at Madeline? Did he know how he spoke of her? Kathy had sat by him all evening, but did he even notice as he sat and looked at his ex-wife?
If he’d noticed all of that, he would have stopped. He wasn’t the kind of man to ignore the woman he loved. But that hit her too. Perhaps she wasn’t the woman he loved after all.
She pounded her fist into the pillow and then dropped her head onto it. They were getting married. Madeline was doing better. She had to fight the ugliness of jealousy and make it go away. She’d hate herself if she didn’t, and she’d hate him too.
Madeline woke to a glorious sunrise. She sucked in a breath and let it out slow. She hadn’t felt so good in months. Dinner at the Kellers’ was just what she had needed—and holding little Tyler, well, that had made her night.
The sounds of her children moving about the house made her even happier. She pulled on her robe, slipped her feet into her slippers, and headed to the kitchen.
Eduardo handed her a piece of toast and kissed her cheek. “Mom, I think you’re glowing.”
“What are you making?”
“I made some eggs. They just wanted cereal.”
“Can you make me some too?”
He turned to her and studied her close. “Really?”
The other sets of eyes at the table looked up at her.
Madeline smiled at each of them. “Yes, really. Today I feel like eating.”
“Then I will make you eggs.” He moved back to the refrigerator and took out the carton as she sat down and enjoyed the morning with her family.
Once they’d left for school, Madeline used the energy she had and changed her bedding, vacuumed the living room, and ran a load of laundry. Within an hour, she’d used every ounce of adrenaline she had and decided it was time for a shower.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing herself naked. They’d taken out the stitches, and now she was left with only scars where her breasts had been. The best idea was just to not look down, but it was hard to divert her eyes as she ran soap over her body.
She poured shampoo in her hand and worked it through her hair. But it felt different. She massaged the shampoo on her head, and when she pulled her hands back, the amount of hair still stuck to her fingers was more than ever before.
She quickly rinsed off, climbed out of the shower, and wrapped her robe around her, leaving the tangle of hair clogging the tub drain. She took a deep breath and faced the mirror. It was then that she saw what she’d wanted to pretend hadn’t been happening. Her hair had thinned to the point that she could see right through it. It made her look even sicker. It made her feel sicker too.
At one in the afternoon, Carlos called to check on her. When she couldn’t hide the tears in her voice, he said he’d be over as soon as he could.
“Carlos, don’t you dare. I’m fine. I’m just being a little vain.” She rubbed her scalp because now it itched, and the urge to pull at the hair that was left was overwhelming.
“But you’re upset.”
She gripped the phone tighter. “And I’ll be upset tomorrow about something else.”
“Well, guess what. I haven’t listened to you since this all started and I’m not going to listen to you now. I had meetings today, so I’m done early. I’m on my way,” he said, and the phone line went dead.
True to his word, he was there within a half hour.
She heard his car and pulled open the door.
The moment he reached the door, he held out his arms, and she fell into them and sobbed. His hand rubbed small circles on her back. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, could we have them next week? I’ve planned for pictures. Engagement pictures, actually, but I’m not marrying just him, so I want the kids in the pictures too.”
The thought gnawed at her. Kathy was right. She wasn’t marrying just Carlos. She was marrying the whole family. Madeline swallowed back the pain of the thought and smiled. “I think that sounds nice.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I know how he worries about you.”
“Well, I think things are looking up. Hopefully by next Christmas I’ll be cancer free and I’ll be able to go to the company Christmas party in a strappy number and show off my new cleavage.” She laughed, but it was forced because no matter what her hair or body looked like, she wouldn’t be on the arm of the man she loved, and that hurt even worse.
Chapter Six
Kathy had sagged in the passenger seat of Carlos’s car like a deflated balloon when the kids went home with Madeline. The fewer people she had around her, the better off she would be.
She sat with her hands clenched in her lap, listening to Carlos go on and on about how good he thought Madeline looked and how wonderful it was to have her at dinner.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio. “I think I’ll have to make sure Regan goes by a few times and takes Tyler to see her. I think that was the best part. She looked so comfortable with him in her arms.”
He was positively ecstatic about the evening, and the very sound of his happy voice was raking across her nerves. The moment they pulled into the driveway, Kathy grabbed her purse and headed into the house while Carlos grabbed the bags of leftover ice cream from the trunk and put them away in the freezer. By the time he’d made it to their bedroom she’d gotten her pajamas on and brushed through her hair.
“Turning in early?”
She pulled back the sheets. “It’s nine o’clock. I have an early meeting in the morning.”
“I have some papers to grade. I’ll come to bed in just a little bit,” he said, moving toward her and kissing her. She couldn’t help but flinch when his lips touched her.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She meant for it to sound sincere, but it came out snappy. She looked away and swung her feet under the sheets. “Please turn off the light when you walk out.”
When she heard the door to his office close, she began to sob. Jealousy was ugly when it reared its nasty head. Jealousy on her was worse. But she couldn’t help it. Did he know how he looked at Madeline? Did he know how he spoke of her? Kathy had sat by him all evening, but did he even notice as he sat and looked at his ex-wife?
If he’d noticed all of that, he would have stopped. He wasn’t the kind of man to ignore the woman he loved. But that hit her too. Perhaps she wasn’t the woman he loved after all.
She pounded her fist into the pillow and then dropped her head onto it. They were getting married. Madeline was doing better. She had to fight the ugliness of jealousy and make it go away. She’d hate herself if she didn’t, and she’d hate him too.
Madeline woke to a glorious sunrise. She sucked in a breath and let it out slow. She hadn’t felt so good in months. Dinner at the Kellers’ was just what she had needed—and holding little Tyler, well, that had made her night.
The sounds of her children moving about the house made her even happier. She pulled on her robe, slipped her feet into her slippers, and headed to the kitchen.
Eduardo handed her a piece of toast and kissed her cheek. “Mom, I think you’re glowing.”
“What are you making?”
“I made some eggs. They just wanted cereal.”
“Can you make me some too?”
He turned to her and studied her close. “Really?”
The other sets of eyes at the table looked up at her.
Madeline smiled at each of them. “Yes, really. Today I feel like eating.”
“Then I will make you eggs.” He moved back to the refrigerator and took out the carton as she sat down and enjoyed the morning with her family.
Once they’d left for school, Madeline used the energy she had and changed her bedding, vacuumed the living room, and ran a load of laundry. Within an hour, she’d used every ounce of adrenaline she had and decided it was time for a shower.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing herself naked. They’d taken out the stitches, and now she was left with only scars where her breasts had been. The best idea was just to not look down, but it was hard to divert her eyes as she ran soap over her body.
She poured shampoo in her hand and worked it through her hair. But it felt different. She massaged the shampoo on her head, and when she pulled her hands back, the amount of hair still stuck to her fingers was more than ever before.
She quickly rinsed off, climbed out of the shower, and wrapped her robe around her, leaving the tangle of hair clogging the tub drain. She took a deep breath and faced the mirror. It was then that she saw what she’d wanted to pretend hadn’t been happening. Her hair had thinned to the point that she could see right through it. It made her look even sicker. It made her feel sicker too.
At one in the afternoon, Carlos called to check on her. When she couldn’t hide the tears in her voice, he said he’d be over as soon as he could.
“Carlos, don’t you dare. I’m fine. I’m just being a little vain.” She rubbed her scalp because now it itched, and the urge to pull at the hair that was left was overwhelming.
“But you’re upset.”
She gripped the phone tighter. “And I’ll be upset tomorrow about something else.”
“Well, guess what. I haven’t listened to you since this all started and I’m not going to listen to you now. I had meetings today, so I’m done early. I’m on my way,” he said, and the phone line went dead.
True to his word, he was there within a half hour.
She heard his car and pulled open the door.
The moment he reached the door, he held out his arms, and she fell into them and sobbed. His hand rubbed small circles on her back. “What’s wrong?”
