A Second Chance
Page 31
She slid on the dress of white silk and let it fall over her curves. Looking at her cleavage, full and beautiful in the bodice of the dress, she thought of Madeline. She sighed.
What would it be like to be going through what she was going through alone? Was she scared of dying or had she come to grips with it all? It had been months since she’d had surgery and started her chemotherapy. Had her hair grown back like Carlos’s and Eduardo’s? Was she feeling any better than the last time Kathy’d heard Carlos talk about her? Clara mentioned that she was going to have more surgery to get her boobs back, as she’d put it. Was that going to be more painful than having them removed?
Kathy touched her hand to her chest. She’d been so unfair to Carlos in asking him to not have anything to do with Madeline. It had been three weeks, and he’d been home every night. He’d been attentive. He helped pick out invitations and gave his opinion on flowers. He took his brothers to the tux rental store and they had initial measurements done. Everything she needed from him, he’d given, without argument and without one mention of Madeline’s name.
Kathy felt ill. She’d said she was going to see Madeline since the day they’d found out she was sick. She’d never made it to her door. It was time.
When she walked out of the dressing room, Regan and Arianna shook their heads.
“You like the slimmer one better?” Kathy asked, and they both nodded. “I think I do too.”
She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t feeling like a blushing bride at the moment. She was feeling like a grinch.
Kathy stood on the doorstep of the house that Madeline and Carlos had once shared. Carlos had the kids, and she knew Madeline should be home from work. She’d lied and said she had a late meeting and wouldn’t be home until late. She thought it was a bit ironic that when it came to Madeline, neither she nor Carlos could be completely honest with each other.
She’d picked up flowers and wondered if the gesture would seem silly. She let out a breath and rang the doorbell.
When the door opened, Kathy almost didn’t recognize the woman who stood before her. Madeline was in a business suit with high heels, a suit coat, and a beautiful white silk blouse. But it was the deep red hair that brushed her shoulders in a swingy bob that had thrown her off.
“Kathy,” Madeline said, her voice rising in obvious surprise at finding Kathy standing on her doorstep. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine.” She tried to keep her voice even but found it extremely hard to do. “I’ve been meaning to come by for a visit.”
“Well, come in. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you out in the cold.” Madeline opened the door and Kathy stepped through. “I just got home from work. Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to change my clothes, and I just made some coffee. I’ll bring us out some. Do you take anything in it?”
“No, black is fine.”
“I’ll be right back.”
She’d never been inside the house. She’d been outside when Carlos had dropped off or picked up the kids from time to time. It was a simple design from the outside. A house once picked out by a young couple with the mindset that they would fill it with family. Inside it was homey. A candle burned on the mantel of the fireplace. A quilt had been thrown on the back of the couch as if someone had recently stood from under its comfort. Pictures of the kids she cherished were everywhere.
Their current school pictures were set on the mantel in big elegant frames. The same pictures hung on the walls of Kathy’s home, but she only now noticed that the children’s clothes matched in color and accented the colors in the room.
She laid the flowers on the coffee table and looked at the other collages of pictures. They were filled with Madeline and her children, all of them at varied ages. Eduardo’s first bike was red, and Clara had curly hair as a baby. Christian played baseball, and when Eduardo graduated from kindergarten, Madeline wore her hair long and straight.
Kathy swallowed hard. She stared at the wall in front of her, plastered with its eclectic mix of photos, and realized that was what she wanted. She wanted a matching wall with pictures of children she gave birth to.
She felt lightheaded and sat down on the couch.
None of the pictures had Carlos or Matt in them. Madeline had done her best to remove the men from her life.
One frame across the room caught her eye. It had three slots on it and was tucked behind the lamp. The photos were small, but in each one of them, there was a family. The first picture was of a newborn Eduardo nestled in a hospital blanket between the adoring faces of his mother and father. Next the same pose with Christian and next with Clara. Tears stung her eyes. Carlos was so young then and so handsome. But the hardest part was seeing the love in his eyes. He wasn’t even looking at the babies or Madeline in the pictures, but it was there. It was deep inside of him. Her lip quivered. He’d never looked at her like that.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Madeline said as she entered the room with two cups of coffee and set them on the table. She’d changed into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. Her head was now wrapped in a bright orange scarf, and her feet were covered in fuzzy pink socks.
Kathy readjusted her position on the couch to better see Madeline as she sat across from her. “I should have called. I’m so sorry.”
“No, not at all. This is nice.”
Madeline’s eyes were soft, and Kathy knew she sincerely meant it. Clara’s eyes looked the same when she gave compliments, which Kathy realized for a young girl, she did often.
She picked up the flowers she’d brought for Madeline and handed them to her. “These are for you.”
“Thank you. That was thoughtful of you.” She smelled them and smiled.
“I was just admiring the pictures of the kids.”
“They’re growing up so fast. Everyday Ed gives me a countdown until he can drive.” She shook her head as she laid down the flowers and picked up her cup of coffee. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“I don’t think his father is either.”
“It’s funny. Regan and I are the same age. My kids are ready to drive, and hers is learning to hold his own bottle. All big milestones.”
Kathy sipped her coffee and hoped Madeline didn’t notice her hands shaking.
“How are you feeling?”
What would it be like to be going through what she was going through alone? Was she scared of dying or had she come to grips with it all? It had been months since she’d had surgery and started her chemotherapy. Had her hair grown back like Carlos’s and Eduardo’s? Was she feeling any better than the last time Kathy’d heard Carlos talk about her? Clara mentioned that she was going to have more surgery to get her boobs back, as she’d put it. Was that going to be more painful than having them removed?
Kathy touched her hand to her chest. She’d been so unfair to Carlos in asking him to not have anything to do with Madeline. It had been three weeks, and he’d been home every night. He’d been attentive. He helped pick out invitations and gave his opinion on flowers. He took his brothers to the tux rental store and they had initial measurements done. Everything she needed from him, he’d given, without argument and without one mention of Madeline’s name.
Kathy felt ill. She’d said she was going to see Madeline since the day they’d found out she was sick. She’d never made it to her door. It was time.
When she walked out of the dressing room, Regan and Arianna shook their heads.
“You like the slimmer one better?” Kathy asked, and they both nodded. “I think I do too.”
She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t feeling like a blushing bride at the moment. She was feeling like a grinch.
Kathy stood on the doorstep of the house that Madeline and Carlos had once shared. Carlos had the kids, and she knew Madeline should be home from work. She’d lied and said she had a late meeting and wouldn’t be home until late. She thought it was a bit ironic that when it came to Madeline, neither she nor Carlos could be completely honest with each other.
She’d picked up flowers and wondered if the gesture would seem silly. She let out a breath and rang the doorbell.
When the door opened, Kathy almost didn’t recognize the woman who stood before her. Madeline was in a business suit with high heels, a suit coat, and a beautiful white silk blouse. But it was the deep red hair that brushed her shoulders in a swingy bob that had thrown her off.
“Kathy,” Madeline said, her voice rising in obvious surprise at finding Kathy standing on her doorstep. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine.” She tried to keep her voice even but found it extremely hard to do. “I’ve been meaning to come by for a visit.”
“Well, come in. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you out in the cold.” Madeline opened the door and Kathy stepped through. “I just got home from work. Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to change my clothes, and I just made some coffee. I’ll bring us out some. Do you take anything in it?”
“No, black is fine.”
“I’ll be right back.”
She’d never been inside the house. She’d been outside when Carlos had dropped off or picked up the kids from time to time. It was a simple design from the outside. A house once picked out by a young couple with the mindset that they would fill it with family. Inside it was homey. A candle burned on the mantel of the fireplace. A quilt had been thrown on the back of the couch as if someone had recently stood from under its comfort. Pictures of the kids she cherished were everywhere.
Their current school pictures were set on the mantel in big elegant frames. The same pictures hung on the walls of Kathy’s home, but she only now noticed that the children’s clothes matched in color and accented the colors in the room.
She laid the flowers on the coffee table and looked at the other collages of pictures. They were filled with Madeline and her children, all of them at varied ages. Eduardo’s first bike was red, and Clara had curly hair as a baby. Christian played baseball, and when Eduardo graduated from kindergarten, Madeline wore her hair long and straight.
Kathy swallowed hard. She stared at the wall in front of her, plastered with its eclectic mix of photos, and realized that was what she wanted. She wanted a matching wall with pictures of children she gave birth to.
She felt lightheaded and sat down on the couch.
None of the pictures had Carlos or Matt in them. Madeline had done her best to remove the men from her life.
One frame across the room caught her eye. It had three slots on it and was tucked behind the lamp. The photos were small, but in each one of them, there was a family. The first picture was of a newborn Eduardo nestled in a hospital blanket between the adoring faces of his mother and father. Next the same pose with Christian and next with Clara. Tears stung her eyes. Carlos was so young then and so handsome. But the hardest part was seeing the love in his eyes. He wasn’t even looking at the babies or Madeline in the pictures, but it was there. It was deep inside of him. Her lip quivered. He’d never looked at her like that.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Madeline said as she entered the room with two cups of coffee and set them on the table. She’d changed into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. Her head was now wrapped in a bright orange scarf, and her feet were covered in fuzzy pink socks.
Kathy readjusted her position on the couch to better see Madeline as she sat across from her. “I should have called. I’m so sorry.”
“No, not at all. This is nice.”
Madeline’s eyes were soft, and Kathy knew she sincerely meant it. Clara’s eyes looked the same when she gave compliments, which Kathy realized for a young girl, she did often.
She picked up the flowers she’d brought for Madeline and handed them to her. “These are for you.”
“Thank you. That was thoughtful of you.” She smelled them and smiled.
“I was just admiring the pictures of the kids.”
“They’re growing up so fast. Everyday Ed gives me a countdown until he can drive.” She shook her head as she laid down the flowers and picked up her cup of coffee. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“I don’t think his father is either.”
“It’s funny. Regan and I are the same age. My kids are ready to drive, and hers is learning to hold his own bottle. All big milestones.”
Kathy sipped her coffee and hoped Madeline didn’t notice her hands shaking.
“How are you feeling?”
