A Soldier of Shadows
Page 15
My heart was pounding in my chest. Would she really be leading me to my family? Or could this be some kind of horrible trap?
Either was equally possible. But now I’d made the decision to face whatever was up ahead of me alone, without Ben, whom I’d come to depend on as my rock.
We arrived outside another door. She pushed it open and glided inside the room. This was clearly a bedroom. Although much smaller than the living room we’d just left, it was still excessively large. So large that as my eyes traveled from one end to the other, it took several moments before I realized that it was not empty. A tall man stood by the edge of a double bed.
A young man.
My older brother.
My voice caught in my throat.
“J-Jamil!”
I rushed forward and pulled him into an embrace. He hugged me back. I took a step back. Looking up at his face, I realized that something was very, very different.
First of all, he was standing the way… a normal person would. His posture was straight and upright, his arms at his sides. And his expression, it was abnormally lucid.
“River,” he said.
My jaw dropped at the way he said my name. Perfectly pronounced, with such an even tone of voice.
I narrowed my eyes, scrutinizing his face. I barely believed what I was seeing.
“Jamil?” I breathed. “What happened to you?”
A frown knotted his dark brows. “I… I’m not quite sure.”
A chill ran down my spine. It was impossible to describe what it felt like to speak with my nineteen-year-old brother for the first time in my life. Not speaking to him. Speaking with him. To hear him respond to my words. To know that he heard and understood me. To not be in doubt as to what he was trying to communicate.
I was living the dream that had recurred so many nights in my sleep during the past weeks, ever since I had been given that vial of amber liquid.
Tears welled in my eyes. Since the discovery that my family had gone missing I’d been fighting to control my emotions, but now I couldn’t hold them back. Tears flooded down my cheeks like streams, and I turned into a blubbering mess as I wrapped my arms around Jamil’s neck and hugged him tighter, as if I’d never let go.
I sobbed harder as he hugged me back again.
“You have no idea what this feels like,” I breathed. “I-It’s like I’m meeting you for the first time.”
“I do, River.” His hands moved up to my shoulders and he clutched them. Creating some distance between us, he looked down at me to reveal tears in his own eyes.
He looked in a daze, utterly overwhelmed. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was feeling. I’d learned lots about what it was like to suffer from autism from sitting in on doctors’ appointments and also from my mother’s own research in the field, but it was still impossible to comprehend what he’d been through all those years. Now, to suddenly be normal, it must have felt like… a new birth.
He was speechless for several minutes. He just remained gaping down at me, as though still trying to process his own mind.
The door to the bedroom shut behind us. Nuriya had given us some privacy. I was not sure if she had even entered the room in the first place. As soon as I’d seen my brother standing by the bed, I’d become completely oblivious to her presence.
Jamil ran his pale hands over his face, and I was once again struck by how much he looked like my father, especially now that his facial expressions were normal.
“It’s like I… don’t know myself,” he said slowly. “I don’t know who I am. What I am.”
I was amazed that he even had a vocabulary. His condition had been so severe, he had never been able to have a proper education. I wondered if all the times he’d heard our conversations at home, our language had slipped into his subconscious and now he was able to summon it. But I doubted that. For one thing, his speech was too perfect. This was like… magic.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my wrist, then smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Don’t worry, Jamil. You’ll find yourself. I’ll help you. We all will. We’ll figure out together a way for you to build up your life afresh…”
But first, we need to get out of here.
A chirping erupted near the bed. I cast my eyes toward the noise. A golden bird cage held a single white dove. The bird appeared to have just woken, and had begun to beat its wings against the cage.
“Where are Mom, our sisters and Grandpa?” I asked, turning back to my brother.
Jamil shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
He wrinkled his nose in memory. “I was at home, in my bed. Mom had just gotten me ready to sleep. That’s the last thing I remember.”
“You don’t remember anyone feeding you some kind of amber liquid from a vial? You just woke up in this room, like this?”
He nodded.
Wow. This must have been more bewildering for him than I’d thought.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “We’re going to have to try to find our family.”
“What is this place?” he asked.
I paused, biting my lip. I wasn’t sure if he had even come face to face with any jinn yet. He was overwhelmed as it was, beginning to explain to him about the world of supernaturals… It was just far too much at this point.
I didn’t want to lie to him, but I was not sure that he could handle the truth. I fumbled for words, wondering what to tell him, as he watched me closely.
Either was equally possible. But now I’d made the decision to face whatever was up ahead of me alone, without Ben, whom I’d come to depend on as my rock.
We arrived outside another door. She pushed it open and glided inside the room. This was clearly a bedroom. Although much smaller than the living room we’d just left, it was still excessively large. So large that as my eyes traveled from one end to the other, it took several moments before I realized that it was not empty. A tall man stood by the edge of a double bed.
A young man.
My older brother.
My voice caught in my throat.
“J-Jamil!”
I rushed forward and pulled him into an embrace. He hugged me back. I took a step back. Looking up at his face, I realized that something was very, very different.
First of all, he was standing the way… a normal person would. His posture was straight and upright, his arms at his sides. And his expression, it was abnormally lucid.
“River,” he said.
My jaw dropped at the way he said my name. Perfectly pronounced, with such an even tone of voice.
I narrowed my eyes, scrutinizing his face. I barely believed what I was seeing.
“Jamil?” I breathed. “What happened to you?”
A frown knotted his dark brows. “I… I’m not quite sure.”
A chill ran down my spine. It was impossible to describe what it felt like to speak with my nineteen-year-old brother for the first time in my life. Not speaking to him. Speaking with him. To hear him respond to my words. To know that he heard and understood me. To not be in doubt as to what he was trying to communicate.
I was living the dream that had recurred so many nights in my sleep during the past weeks, ever since I had been given that vial of amber liquid.
Tears welled in my eyes. Since the discovery that my family had gone missing I’d been fighting to control my emotions, but now I couldn’t hold them back. Tears flooded down my cheeks like streams, and I turned into a blubbering mess as I wrapped my arms around Jamil’s neck and hugged him tighter, as if I’d never let go.
I sobbed harder as he hugged me back again.
“You have no idea what this feels like,” I breathed. “I-It’s like I’m meeting you for the first time.”
“I do, River.” His hands moved up to my shoulders and he clutched them. Creating some distance between us, he looked down at me to reveal tears in his own eyes.
He looked in a daze, utterly overwhelmed. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was feeling. I’d learned lots about what it was like to suffer from autism from sitting in on doctors’ appointments and also from my mother’s own research in the field, but it was still impossible to comprehend what he’d been through all those years. Now, to suddenly be normal, it must have felt like… a new birth.
He was speechless for several minutes. He just remained gaping down at me, as though still trying to process his own mind.
The door to the bedroom shut behind us. Nuriya had given us some privacy. I was not sure if she had even entered the room in the first place. As soon as I’d seen my brother standing by the bed, I’d become completely oblivious to her presence.
Jamil ran his pale hands over his face, and I was once again struck by how much he looked like my father, especially now that his facial expressions were normal.
“It’s like I… don’t know myself,” he said slowly. “I don’t know who I am. What I am.”
I was amazed that he even had a vocabulary. His condition had been so severe, he had never been able to have a proper education. I wondered if all the times he’d heard our conversations at home, our language had slipped into his subconscious and now he was able to summon it. But I doubted that. For one thing, his speech was too perfect. This was like… magic.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my wrist, then smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Don’t worry, Jamil. You’ll find yourself. I’ll help you. We all will. We’ll figure out together a way for you to build up your life afresh…”
But first, we need to get out of here.
A chirping erupted near the bed. I cast my eyes toward the noise. A golden bird cage held a single white dove. The bird appeared to have just woken, and had begun to beat its wings against the cage.
“Where are Mom, our sisters and Grandpa?” I asked, turning back to my brother.
Jamil shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
He wrinkled his nose in memory. “I was at home, in my bed. Mom had just gotten me ready to sleep. That’s the last thing I remember.”
“You don’t remember anyone feeding you some kind of amber liquid from a vial? You just woke up in this room, like this?”
He nodded.
Wow. This must have been more bewildering for him than I’d thought.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “We’re going to have to try to find our family.”
“What is this place?” he asked.
I paused, biting my lip. I wasn’t sure if he had even come face to face with any jinn yet. He was overwhelmed as it was, beginning to explain to him about the world of supernaturals… It was just far too much at this point.
I didn’t want to lie to him, but I was not sure that he could handle the truth. I fumbled for words, wondering what to tell him, as he watched me closely.
