A Tragic Wreck
Page 31
“Wait, Olivia,” he said, making her stop. “When was the last time you ate anything?” He sounded worried.
Olivia searched her brain. It was probably the same day she showered and she couldn’t be sure of what day that was.
“You have no idea, do you?”
She looked down, not wanting to look into Cam's concerned eyes. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t need anyone’s help. She could take care of herself, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to turn everything off. That way, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
She retreated into her house, not closing the door. “If you’re so worried about me, feel free to come in then.”
Cam stepped into the house, taking in his surroundings. All the shades had been drawn and no lights were on. The house was dark and depressing. He walked into the living room toward the front windows. “First things first, vitamin D is important.” He opened the shades and sunlight streamed into the living area.
Olivia squinted her eyes, not being accustomed to any light other than the glow from her laptop. Cam walked over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, hoping to find something that she could eat. He found a few containers of Greek yogurt and, after checking the expiration date, grabbed a blueberry-flavored one, opening it.
“Here. Eat this,” he said, thrusting the container into Olivia’s hands as she sat on the couch, eying him with disgust. “I’m not kidding, Libby,” he barked. “You’re on the verge of being malnourished. You need food.”
She rolled her eyes, and shakily began to spoon the creamy substance into her mouth.
“See. You’re so weak you can’t even raise your spoon.”
“I’m eating, okay? So you can leave if all you’re going to do is criticize me,” Olivia sneered.
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.” He sat down next to her, his eyes trained on the woman he had grown to care immensely for over the past few months.
Olivia took another spoonful and thought about that. Was she okay?
“Then you’ll be stuck here a while because I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.” And that was the truth. She was done hiding from her own feelings. She was in pain. She pushed away the one good thing in her life and, in the crosshairs, lost her two best friends. She had no one. She was all alone. It was exactly what she wanted, but now that she was alone, she felt lonelier than she could handle.
“I’m not going to ask you if you want to talk about it, but just tell me what to do and I’ll do it,” Cam said, clearly concerned.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, remembering their last encounter when he said the same thing.
He laughed. “Well, except that. That didn’t work out too well, did it?”
Sighing, she leaned back into the couch. “Can you turn the clocks back a few months? I made the biggest mistake of my life. Why do I always do this?” she cried out. “You saw it. You tried to get close to me so I kicked you out and avoided you for the past God knows how many weeks. And why do I do that?” she laughed. “Because I’m scared I’ll get close to someone and then they’ll leave me. Does that make sense? I’m scared of being alone so I push everyone away, and the result is the same. I still end up all alone.”
Cam stared at her, not knowing how to respond without setting her off. “Is this about Alexander Burnham?” he asked quietly.
Olivia shot up and glared at him, her eyes narrow. “How do you know about him?”
“I’m sorry. I just figured as much. Elsie told me what she talked to you about at the bar that night, and since then, you’ve been locked in your house. You’ve barely eaten. It looks like you haven’t slept. You haven’t been taking care of yourself. I’d guess you’re dealing with a broken heart here. It’s got all the signs,” he said, smiling, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room.
“I was the one to do the breaking so I have no reason to be upset. It’s my own damn fault. I pushed him away, and then he found me and begged me to go back to him. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, telling him to forget about me. He’s moved on, and it’s exactly what I wanted. But, if it’s what I wanted, why does it hurt so damn much?”
Cam pulled Olivia close, trying to calm her down. “Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we hurt the people who mean the most to us. It doesn’t make us a bad person, and it doesn’t mean we’ve moved on. I can guarantee that he hasn’t moved on, Olivia. If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you go without a fight.” He pulled a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear.
“I didn’t let him fight. I left without saying a word. I told him everything in a letter, making sure he wouldn’t find it until I was three hours out of town.” Tears kept streaming down her face. “And then, when he found me, I made it quite clear I no longer cared about him. I lied through my teeth.”
“Well, maybe it’s not too late. Maybe it’s time to go back to Boston. At least give him a chance to tell you to your face that he’s happier without you. I think you need closure.”
She pulled back, looking at Cam. “I can’t do that. I left town, running like the coward I am. I can’t go back and face everyone.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
“You sound like my therapist,” Olivia laughed.
“I just want to help you. Yes, when I first started noticing you, I wanted nothing more than to get in your pants…”
“And you did,” Olivia joked.
Cam held up his hands in surrender. “Hey. I’m just trying to be honest here. You’re a beautiful young woman. And that night, after you kicked me out, I realized you were still hung up on some other guy. And that’s okay. When you were nowhere to be found the past few weeks, I got worried. I know when people are depressed. All the signs were there. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t do something stupid.” Also, Elsie’s text still hung heavy over his head. He wondered how long he could keep Olivia occupied without her finding out about that news. He knew that he would have to tell her, but he wanted to make sure she was emotionally in a better place before he did so.
She processed everything Cam said. Was it that obvious she was bat-shit crazy? “I need a glass of water,” she said, getting up from the couch.
“Libby, let me ask you a question,” Cam said as she grabbed a bottle of water and poured it over ice.
Olivia searched her brain. It was probably the same day she showered and she couldn’t be sure of what day that was.
“You have no idea, do you?”
She looked down, not wanting to look into Cam's concerned eyes. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t need anyone’s help. She could take care of herself, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to turn everything off. That way, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
She retreated into her house, not closing the door. “If you’re so worried about me, feel free to come in then.”
Cam stepped into the house, taking in his surroundings. All the shades had been drawn and no lights were on. The house was dark and depressing. He walked into the living room toward the front windows. “First things first, vitamin D is important.” He opened the shades and sunlight streamed into the living area.
Olivia squinted her eyes, not being accustomed to any light other than the glow from her laptop. Cam walked over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, hoping to find something that she could eat. He found a few containers of Greek yogurt and, after checking the expiration date, grabbed a blueberry-flavored one, opening it.
“Here. Eat this,” he said, thrusting the container into Olivia’s hands as she sat on the couch, eying him with disgust. “I’m not kidding, Libby,” he barked. “You’re on the verge of being malnourished. You need food.”
She rolled her eyes, and shakily began to spoon the creamy substance into her mouth.
“See. You’re so weak you can’t even raise your spoon.”
“I’m eating, okay? So you can leave if all you’re going to do is criticize me,” Olivia sneered.
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.” He sat down next to her, his eyes trained on the woman he had grown to care immensely for over the past few months.
Olivia took another spoonful and thought about that. Was she okay?
“Then you’ll be stuck here a while because I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.” And that was the truth. She was done hiding from her own feelings. She was in pain. She pushed away the one good thing in her life and, in the crosshairs, lost her two best friends. She had no one. She was all alone. It was exactly what she wanted, but now that she was alone, she felt lonelier than she could handle.
“I’m not going to ask you if you want to talk about it, but just tell me what to do and I’ll do it,” Cam said, clearly concerned.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, remembering their last encounter when he said the same thing.
He laughed. “Well, except that. That didn’t work out too well, did it?”
Sighing, she leaned back into the couch. “Can you turn the clocks back a few months? I made the biggest mistake of my life. Why do I always do this?” she cried out. “You saw it. You tried to get close to me so I kicked you out and avoided you for the past God knows how many weeks. And why do I do that?” she laughed. “Because I’m scared I’ll get close to someone and then they’ll leave me. Does that make sense? I’m scared of being alone so I push everyone away, and the result is the same. I still end up all alone.”
Cam stared at her, not knowing how to respond without setting her off. “Is this about Alexander Burnham?” he asked quietly.
Olivia shot up and glared at him, her eyes narrow. “How do you know about him?”
“I’m sorry. I just figured as much. Elsie told me what she talked to you about at the bar that night, and since then, you’ve been locked in your house. You’ve barely eaten. It looks like you haven’t slept. You haven’t been taking care of yourself. I’d guess you’re dealing with a broken heart here. It’s got all the signs,” he said, smiling, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room.
“I was the one to do the breaking so I have no reason to be upset. It’s my own damn fault. I pushed him away, and then he found me and begged me to go back to him. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, telling him to forget about me. He’s moved on, and it’s exactly what I wanted. But, if it’s what I wanted, why does it hurt so damn much?”
Cam pulled Olivia close, trying to calm her down. “Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we hurt the people who mean the most to us. It doesn’t make us a bad person, and it doesn’t mean we’ve moved on. I can guarantee that he hasn’t moved on, Olivia. If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you go without a fight.” He pulled a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear.
“I didn’t let him fight. I left without saying a word. I told him everything in a letter, making sure he wouldn’t find it until I was three hours out of town.” Tears kept streaming down her face. “And then, when he found me, I made it quite clear I no longer cared about him. I lied through my teeth.”
“Well, maybe it’s not too late. Maybe it’s time to go back to Boston. At least give him a chance to tell you to your face that he’s happier without you. I think you need closure.”
She pulled back, looking at Cam. “I can’t do that. I left town, running like the coward I am. I can’t go back and face everyone.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
“You sound like my therapist,” Olivia laughed.
“I just want to help you. Yes, when I first started noticing you, I wanted nothing more than to get in your pants…”
“And you did,” Olivia joked.
Cam held up his hands in surrender. “Hey. I’m just trying to be honest here. You’re a beautiful young woman. And that night, after you kicked me out, I realized you were still hung up on some other guy. And that’s okay. When you were nowhere to be found the past few weeks, I got worried. I know when people are depressed. All the signs were there. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t do something stupid.” Also, Elsie’s text still hung heavy over his head. He wondered how long he could keep Olivia occupied without her finding out about that news. He knew that he would have to tell her, but he wanted to make sure she was emotionally in a better place before he did so.
She processed everything Cam said. Was it that obvious she was bat-shit crazy? “I need a glass of water,” she said, getting up from the couch.
“Libby, let me ask you a question,” Cam said as she grabbed a bottle of water and poured it over ice.
