After the Game
Page 42
Lifting my gaze, I met the steel-blue eyes that were shaped so much like my daughter’s. The way his eyebrows arched and even the form of his nose looked like hers. Breathing was becoming difficult.
“Is this her?” he asked.
What did her mean exactly? Was this the daughter he’d given me unintentionally? The child he claimed wasn’t his?
“This is my daughter,” I stated with firm authority. There would be no question as to who she belonged to. She was mine.
“Gunner told me she looked like me,” Rhett Lawton said as he stared down at Bryony, who had thankfully fallen asleep. I didn’t want her to see him or remember him.
I liked Gunner, but at that moment I was not liking him very much. I trusted him and allowed him around Bryony. However, Rhett was out of the question. He was evil, and I wanted no evil touching my daughter. She was nothing like him. Her heart was pure.
“When was she born?” he asked, still studying her sleeping form.
“Why?” I spat back. I wanted him to leave me alone. Leave us alone. Lawton had become a welcoming safe place for us. With Rhett here that changed. He wasn’t safe.
“She’s mine, Riley. We both know it. I always knew it.”
Anger boiled in my veins, and I wanted to grab the nearest rock and hurl it at his head. She wasn’t his. “She is mine,” I repeated. “Mine.”
He sighed and for a second he resembled Gunner. Someone who I trusted. Rhett wasn’t to be trusted.
“I fucked up. I’ve fucked up a lot. But I was young and scared out of my mind.”
I laughed then. It sounded a bit crazy. Like the laugh you hear from insane people. But his words were insane, so my manic laughter fit the situation.
“You were young? Scared?” I repeated the words like they tasted sour on my tongue. “Really? Well, boo-fucking-hoo. I was fifteen and pregnant from a rape that the father claimed didn’t happen. I was a virgin, Rhett, or were you so drunk you didn’t notice? You took my innocence, left me pregnant, then turned the entire town against me. My family had to leave here because of you. You almost destroyed me.” I paused. “But you didn’t. She saved me.”
He didn’t seem remorseful, just guilty. Like he knew what he had done was wrong, but he wasn’t going to be able to change it, so he wouldn’t focus on it too much. “You came back; they accept you now. My reputation isn’t that great here. In the end, you won.”
I was ready to hurl more angry words at him until that last sentence.
I won.
In the end, I had won.
I had a beautiful daughter I couldn’t live without. My family never left my side. I had friends who cared about me and were a part of my life and Bryony’s. And for now I had Brady.
Rhett had nothing.
“They say karma is a bitch” was my response to that. Maybe it was cold, knowing that his world had also exploded this past year. But I wasn’t ready to accept him. I doubted I ever would be. But I could forgive him.
“I don’t want you in my life and especially not in Bryony’s. The story of her conception isn’t anything she ever has to know. But for what it is worth, I forgive you. I will never forget, but I will forgive. Because in the end I was given Bryony.”
He didn’t respond at first, but he finally nodded. “I just wanted to see her, Riley. I wasn’t trying to be a part of her life. I don’t want to be a father. I have no example and I would suck at it. But I did want to see her and know what happened . . . what I did . . . all ended okay.”
I could tell him that what he’d done had almost ruined me. I had lived in so much pain and anger that I had to see counseling. But none of that mattered now. It was a part of my story. It was a part of me.
“It did,” I replied.
He looked back down at Bryony one last time. “I hope she has a good life.”
“She will have the best life I can give her.”
He nodded, then turned and walked away.
It was as if a chapter had closed in my life. The spring breeze brushed my hair across my face, similar to that of a page turning. I exhaled, then took a step forward, ready for the next chapter life had for us.
What the Hell Would I Do without Her?
CHAPTER 54
BRADY
Riley had seemed different all evening. It had been hard to concentrate on the questions my mother asked and listen to the things I had missed here with Riley being quieter than usual and almost standoffish.
Something was wrong, and I was ready to get her alone and figure out what it was. Maggie had left to go to West’s house to watch a movie, and Mom was playing with Bryony in the living room. She had bought Bryony several toys for our house. The blocks seemed to be her favorite. I could hear Mom suggesting they build a castle.
“Come with me,” I told Riley, taking her hand and leading her out to the backyard so Mom wouldn’t get all weird about us staying too long up in my room.
She went with me easily and without question. Once I had her outside and away from the house, I turned to look at her. “What’s wrong?”
I had missed her something fierce this week. Being at Alabama was fun and exciting, but I wanted her there beside me. I wasn’t going to be able to stay away from her . . . and Bryony. I missed her too. I realized, being gone, that they had become part of my family. The most important part.
I had asked about football players who had kids and how that worked. If they had special housing, even if I wasn’t married. They did. If I had a girlfriend and a child, they could put me in family housing. Convincing Riley of that, though, was going to be difficult.
“I saw Rhett today,” she said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Did he come to your house?” I asked, feeling a surge of protectiveness. He was going near what was mine. He had no claim to them.
“No, we saw him on our way home from the park. Or I saw him. Bryony was asleep, thankfully. He just wanted to see her. Nothing more. I almost . . . almost felt sorry for him.”
I hadn’t seen Rhett since homecoming, and I didn’t care if I ever saw him again. But hearing her say she felt sorry for him made me wonder how he was. His parents’ lies had affected him just like they had affected Gunner.
“Is that why you seem distant tonight? Did he upset you?”
She looked away from me, then her shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh.
“I wanted to wait until closer to graduation to talk about this. You still have almost two months of school left. No reason to deal with the future just yet.”
But it was obviously bothering her. My being gone to Alabama all week had reminded her that things would change soon. Until I had spent a week away from her and Bryony, I hadn’t thought it through. Being apart from them had made me think. She must have gone through the same thing.
“I think we should talk about it now. We need to plan, and I have an idea. I spoke with my representative there, and they have family housing. You being my girlfriend and Bryony being my child, we qualify for a place in family housing. I don’t have to stay in a dorm room. Y’all can come with me.” Saying it took a weight off my shoulders I’d been carrying for months when I thought of leaving her.
Riley pulled her hand out of mine and put some space between us. I didn’t like that response. It wasn’t what I had expected. My stomach knotted up as I studied her face.
“What would we do? I have no family there to help me with Bryony. I wouldn’t be able to hold a job and pay for day care and go to school without help. I can’t just stay at the family housing and wait on you to have time for us. This is your future, Brady. All you’ve fought for. All you’ve planned on. And you need to live in a dorm and go out to bars and enjoy being in college. You don’t have a child. The fact that you’re willing to sacrifice all that for us doesn’t mean I will let you. I have plans. Plans that work for us. For me and Bryony.”
What plans? We hadn’t talked beyond my going to college and them visiting.
“I want you with me,” I told her.
A sad smile came and left. “But we can’t be. It isn’t what’s best for any of us.”
I started to argue, and she held up her hand to stop me. “I’m getting a job in Nashville. Bryony is going to day care here, and my parents are paying half of it. Nashville State Community College has online courses so I don’t have to go to all my classes on campus. For the next two years I’m going to school there, then when Bryony is ready for kindergarten we will make a move. I’ll get my teaching degree and find us a house of our own.”
“Is this her?” he asked.
What did her mean exactly? Was this the daughter he’d given me unintentionally? The child he claimed wasn’t his?
“This is my daughter,” I stated with firm authority. There would be no question as to who she belonged to. She was mine.
“Gunner told me she looked like me,” Rhett Lawton said as he stared down at Bryony, who had thankfully fallen asleep. I didn’t want her to see him or remember him.
I liked Gunner, but at that moment I was not liking him very much. I trusted him and allowed him around Bryony. However, Rhett was out of the question. He was evil, and I wanted no evil touching my daughter. She was nothing like him. Her heart was pure.
“When was she born?” he asked, still studying her sleeping form.
“Why?” I spat back. I wanted him to leave me alone. Leave us alone. Lawton had become a welcoming safe place for us. With Rhett here that changed. He wasn’t safe.
“She’s mine, Riley. We both know it. I always knew it.”
Anger boiled in my veins, and I wanted to grab the nearest rock and hurl it at his head. She wasn’t his. “She is mine,” I repeated. “Mine.”
He sighed and for a second he resembled Gunner. Someone who I trusted. Rhett wasn’t to be trusted.
“I fucked up. I’ve fucked up a lot. But I was young and scared out of my mind.”
I laughed then. It sounded a bit crazy. Like the laugh you hear from insane people. But his words were insane, so my manic laughter fit the situation.
“You were young? Scared?” I repeated the words like they tasted sour on my tongue. “Really? Well, boo-fucking-hoo. I was fifteen and pregnant from a rape that the father claimed didn’t happen. I was a virgin, Rhett, or were you so drunk you didn’t notice? You took my innocence, left me pregnant, then turned the entire town against me. My family had to leave here because of you. You almost destroyed me.” I paused. “But you didn’t. She saved me.”
He didn’t seem remorseful, just guilty. Like he knew what he had done was wrong, but he wasn’t going to be able to change it, so he wouldn’t focus on it too much. “You came back; they accept you now. My reputation isn’t that great here. In the end, you won.”
I was ready to hurl more angry words at him until that last sentence.
I won.
In the end, I had won.
I had a beautiful daughter I couldn’t live without. My family never left my side. I had friends who cared about me and were a part of my life and Bryony’s. And for now I had Brady.
Rhett had nothing.
“They say karma is a bitch” was my response to that. Maybe it was cold, knowing that his world had also exploded this past year. But I wasn’t ready to accept him. I doubted I ever would be. But I could forgive him.
“I don’t want you in my life and especially not in Bryony’s. The story of her conception isn’t anything she ever has to know. But for what it is worth, I forgive you. I will never forget, but I will forgive. Because in the end I was given Bryony.”
He didn’t respond at first, but he finally nodded. “I just wanted to see her, Riley. I wasn’t trying to be a part of her life. I don’t want to be a father. I have no example and I would suck at it. But I did want to see her and know what happened . . . what I did . . . all ended okay.”
I could tell him that what he’d done had almost ruined me. I had lived in so much pain and anger that I had to see counseling. But none of that mattered now. It was a part of my story. It was a part of me.
“It did,” I replied.
He looked back down at Bryony one last time. “I hope she has a good life.”
“She will have the best life I can give her.”
He nodded, then turned and walked away.
It was as if a chapter had closed in my life. The spring breeze brushed my hair across my face, similar to that of a page turning. I exhaled, then took a step forward, ready for the next chapter life had for us.
What the Hell Would I Do without Her?
CHAPTER 54
BRADY
Riley had seemed different all evening. It had been hard to concentrate on the questions my mother asked and listen to the things I had missed here with Riley being quieter than usual and almost standoffish.
Something was wrong, and I was ready to get her alone and figure out what it was. Maggie had left to go to West’s house to watch a movie, and Mom was playing with Bryony in the living room. She had bought Bryony several toys for our house. The blocks seemed to be her favorite. I could hear Mom suggesting they build a castle.
“Come with me,” I told Riley, taking her hand and leading her out to the backyard so Mom wouldn’t get all weird about us staying too long up in my room.
She went with me easily and without question. Once I had her outside and away from the house, I turned to look at her. “What’s wrong?”
I had missed her something fierce this week. Being at Alabama was fun and exciting, but I wanted her there beside me. I wasn’t going to be able to stay away from her . . . and Bryony. I missed her too. I realized, being gone, that they had become part of my family. The most important part.
I had asked about football players who had kids and how that worked. If they had special housing, even if I wasn’t married. They did. If I had a girlfriend and a child, they could put me in family housing. Convincing Riley of that, though, was going to be difficult.
“I saw Rhett today,” she said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Did he come to your house?” I asked, feeling a surge of protectiveness. He was going near what was mine. He had no claim to them.
“No, we saw him on our way home from the park. Or I saw him. Bryony was asleep, thankfully. He just wanted to see her. Nothing more. I almost . . . almost felt sorry for him.”
I hadn’t seen Rhett since homecoming, and I didn’t care if I ever saw him again. But hearing her say she felt sorry for him made me wonder how he was. His parents’ lies had affected him just like they had affected Gunner.
“Is that why you seem distant tonight? Did he upset you?”
She looked away from me, then her shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh.
“I wanted to wait until closer to graduation to talk about this. You still have almost two months of school left. No reason to deal with the future just yet.”
But it was obviously bothering her. My being gone to Alabama all week had reminded her that things would change soon. Until I had spent a week away from her and Bryony, I hadn’t thought it through. Being apart from them had made me think. She must have gone through the same thing.
“I think we should talk about it now. We need to plan, and I have an idea. I spoke with my representative there, and they have family housing. You being my girlfriend and Bryony being my child, we qualify for a place in family housing. I don’t have to stay in a dorm room. Y’all can come with me.” Saying it took a weight off my shoulders I’d been carrying for months when I thought of leaving her.
Riley pulled her hand out of mine and put some space between us. I didn’t like that response. It wasn’t what I had expected. My stomach knotted up as I studied her face.
“What would we do? I have no family there to help me with Bryony. I wouldn’t be able to hold a job and pay for day care and go to school without help. I can’t just stay at the family housing and wait on you to have time for us. This is your future, Brady. All you’ve fought for. All you’ve planned on. And you need to live in a dorm and go out to bars and enjoy being in college. You don’t have a child. The fact that you’re willing to sacrifice all that for us doesn’t mean I will let you. I have plans. Plans that work for us. For me and Bryony.”
What plans? We hadn’t talked beyond my going to college and them visiting.
“I want you with me,” I told her.
A sad smile came and left. “But we can’t be. It isn’t what’s best for any of us.”
I started to argue, and she held up her hand to stop me. “I’m getting a job in Nashville. Bryony is going to day care here, and my parents are paying half of it. Nashville State Community College has online courses so I don’t have to go to all my classes on campus. For the next two years I’m going to school there, then when Bryony is ready for kindergarten we will make a move. I’ll get my teaching degree and find us a house of our own.”
