All In
Page 8
“That’ll do. If someone approaches you just keep to the open spaces where there are people about.” I kept her on the line as she made her way to Cleopatra’s Needle on foot while I drove like a fiend and avoided London’s Finest.
“I’m here,” she said.
“Are there others around you?”
“Yes. There’s a walking tour and some couples and people with their dogs.”
“Good. I’m parking now. I’ll find you.” We ended the call.
My heart pounded in my chest as I found a place to park and started walking down to the embankment. How would this go? Would she resist me? I didn’t want to pick at our wounds, but f**k if I’d let this bloody mess go on for another day. It ended now. Today. Whatever it took to fix this cock-up got figured out right here, right now.
The sun was just starting to set when I spotted her. Her track shorts hugged her body like a second skin. She had her back to me as she leaned over the rail to look out at the river, the wind blowing her ponytail to the side, one long leg bent toward the railing with her hands resting gracefully on the top.
I slowed down because I simply wanted to soak in her image. I was finally looking at her after a week of starvation. Right in front of me. Brynne.
I needed my hands on her. They itched to hold her close and touch. But she looked different—slimmer. The nearer I got, the more visible it became. Christ, had she stopped eating in the past week? She must have dropped nearly half a stone. I stopped and stared, anger mixing with concern, but more so understanding that this shit with her past was way bigger than I’d realized up to this point. Lucky us, we can be f**ked up together.
She turned around and found me. Our eyes connected and some powerful communication flowed through the breeze between us. Brynne knew how I felt. She should know. I’d told her plenty of times. She had never told me what I’d said to her though. I was still waiting to hear those three words come from her. I love you.
She said my name. I read her lips. I couldn’t hear the sound through the wind, but I saw that she did indeed speak my name. She looked about as relieved as I felt, to see her in one piece and just a few steps from each other. And utterly beautiful to me, as she always was and always had been.
But this was where I stopped. If Brynne wanted me she needed to walk over here and show me how she felt. It would kill me if she didn’t, but my dad’s advice was spot-on true. Everyone had to follow their heart. I followed mine. Now Brynne needed to do the same.
She stepped off the railing and parts inside me thudded when she paused. Almost like she waited for me to make a gesture or come and get her. No, baby. I didn’t smile and neither did she but we certainly made contact.
She had on a turquoise sports top that hugged her br**sts and made me think about her naked and underneath me, my hands and mouth taking her all in. I wanted her so badly I ached. I guess that’s what falling in love will do to a person—make you ache in a way for which there is only one cure. Brynne was my cure. Images of her and me making love flashed through my head as I waited for her; the scenes of my desires haunting relentlessly with a craving that burned me from the inside out. I burned for Brynne. Mr. Keats sure knew what he was talking about in his poems.
I held out my hand and locked my eyes onto hers but my feet stayed planted. And then I saw the change. A flicker in her lovely eyes. She understood what I was asking of her. She got it. And again, I was reminded of how good we were together at the most fundamental level. Brynne got me, and that alone made my hunger for her even stronger.
She kept coming until her arm lifted. Closer still until our fingers touched, her smaller, finely formed hand resting in my much bigger one. My fingers wrapped over her wrist and palm in a firm grip and pulled her in the rest of the way. Right up against my chest, body to body. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my head in her hair. The scent I knew and craved was up my nose and in my head again. I had her. I had Brynne again.
I pulled back and took her face in my hands. I held her in that position so I could really look at her. She never wavered with her eyes. My girl was brave. Life sucked at times but she hung in and didn’t shirk away. I looked at her lips and knew I was going to kiss her whether she wanted it or not. I hoped she wanted it.
Her lovely lips were just as soft and sweet as before. More so because I’d been without them for too long. It felt like heaven having my mouth on hers. I sort of got lost in the moment and forgot we were in public. Lost in my Brynne the instant she responded to me.
She kissed me back and it felt so good to feel her tongue tangling with mine I groaned against her mouth. I knew what I wanted to do. And my requirements were few. Privacy. Brynne naked. If only things were that simple. I remembered we were standing amid a crowd of humanity on the Victoria Embankment and unfortunately not anywhere near private.
I stopped kissing and brushed over her bottom lip with my thumb. “You’ll come with me. Right now.”
She nodded into my hands and I kissed her once more. A thank you kiss.
We didn’t talk as we walked to the Rover. We held hands though. I wasn’t letting go until I had to in order to put her in the car. Once she was in the passenger seat and the doors locked I turned and really looked at her. She looked half starved and it made me angry. I remembered the first night we met and how I got her the Power Bar and the water.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“First? To get you some food.” It came out a little harsher than I wanted it to.
She nodded at me and then looked away, out the window.
“After you eat we’ll get a new cell and mobile number for you. I need to have your old one so I can track whoever tries to contact you. All right?”
She looked down at her lap and nodded again. I almost pulled her into my arms and told her everything would be fine, but I held off.
“Then I’m taking you home. My place—home.”
“Ethan, that’s not a good idea,” she whispered, still looking down at her lap.
“Fuck good ideas,” I exploded. “Would you at least look at me?” She turned her eyes up to mine and smoldered in the seat, a hint of red fire flickering, making them look very brown. I wanted to drag her to me and shake her, force her to understand that this bullshit break-up was a thing of the past. She was coming home with me, period. I turned the key in the ignition.
“What do you want from me, Ethan?”
“That’s easy.” I made a rude noise. “I want to go back to ten days ago. I want to be back in my office, f**king on my desk with you wrapped around me! I want your body underneath mine looking up at me with some expression other than the one I saw when you left me at the lifts!” I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and took in air.
“I’m here,” she said.
“Are there others around you?”
“Yes. There’s a walking tour and some couples and people with their dogs.”
“Good. I’m parking now. I’ll find you.” We ended the call.
My heart pounded in my chest as I found a place to park and started walking down to the embankment. How would this go? Would she resist me? I didn’t want to pick at our wounds, but f**k if I’d let this bloody mess go on for another day. It ended now. Today. Whatever it took to fix this cock-up got figured out right here, right now.
The sun was just starting to set when I spotted her. Her track shorts hugged her body like a second skin. She had her back to me as she leaned over the rail to look out at the river, the wind blowing her ponytail to the side, one long leg bent toward the railing with her hands resting gracefully on the top.
I slowed down because I simply wanted to soak in her image. I was finally looking at her after a week of starvation. Right in front of me. Brynne.
I needed my hands on her. They itched to hold her close and touch. But she looked different—slimmer. The nearer I got, the more visible it became. Christ, had she stopped eating in the past week? She must have dropped nearly half a stone. I stopped and stared, anger mixing with concern, but more so understanding that this shit with her past was way bigger than I’d realized up to this point. Lucky us, we can be f**ked up together.
She turned around and found me. Our eyes connected and some powerful communication flowed through the breeze between us. Brynne knew how I felt. She should know. I’d told her plenty of times. She had never told me what I’d said to her though. I was still waiting to hear those three words come from her. I love you.
She said my name. I read her lips. I couldn’t hear the sound through the wind, but I saw that she did indeed speak my name. She looked about as relieved as I felt, to see her in one piece and just a few steps from each other. And utterly beautiful to me, as she always was and always had been.
But this was where I stopped. If Brynne wanted me she needed to walk over here and show me how she felt. It would kill me if she didn’t, but my dad’s advice was spot-on true. Everyone had to follow their heart. I followed mine. Now Brynne needed to do the same.
She stepped off the railing and parts inside me thudded when she paused. Almost like she waited for me to make a gesture or come and get her. No, baby. I didn’t smile and neither did she but we certainly made contact.
She had on a turquoise sports top that hugged her br**sts and made me think about her naked and underneath me, my hands and mouth taking her all in. I wanted her so badly I ached. I guess that’s what falling in love will do to a person—make you ache in a way for which there is only one cure. Brynne was my cure. Images of her and me making love flashed through my head as I waited for her; the scenes of my desires haunting relentlessly with a craving that burned me from the inside out. I burned for Brynne. Mr. Keats sure knew what he was talking about in his poems.
I held out my hand and locked my eyes onto hers but my feet stayed planted. And then I saw the change. A flicker in her lovely eyes. She understood what I was asking of her. She got it. And again, I was reminded of how good we were together at the most fundamental level. Brynne got me, and that alone made my hunger for her even stronger.
She kept coming until her arm lifted. Closer still until our fingers touched, her smaller, finely formed hand resting in my much bigger one. My fingers wrapped over her wrist and palm in a firm grip and pulled her in the rest of the way. Right up against my chest, body to body. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my head in her hair. The scent I knew and craved was up my nose and in my head again. I had her. I had Brynne again.
I pulled back and took her face in my hands. I held her in that position so I could really look at her. She never wavered with her eyes. My girl was brave. Life sucked at times but she hung in and didn’t shirk away. I looked at her lips and knew I was going to kiss her whether she wanted it or not. I hoped she wanted it.
Her lovely lips were just as soft and sweet as before. More so because I’d been without them for too long. It felt like heaven having my mouth on hers. I sort of got lost in the moment and forgot we were in public. Lost in my Brynne the instant she responded to me.
She kissed me back and it felt so good to feel her tongue tangling with mine I groaned against her mouth. I knew what I wanted to do. And my requirements were few. Privacy. Brynne naked. If only things were that simple. I remembered we were standing amid a crowd of humanity on the Victoria Embankment and unfortunately not anywhere near private.
I stopped kissing and brushed over her bottom lip with my thumb. “You’ll come with me. Right now.”
She nodded into my hands and I kissed her once more. A thank you kiss.
We didn’t talk as we walked to the Rover. We held hands though. I wasn’t letting go until I had to in order to put her in the car. Once she was in the passenger seat and the doors locked I turned and really looked at her. She looked half starved and it made me angry. I remembered the first night we met and how I got her the Power Bar and the water.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“First? To get you some food.” It came out a little harsher than I wanted it to.
She nodded at me and then looked away, out the window.
“After you eat we’ll get a new cell and mobile number for you. I need to have your old one so I can track whoever tries to contact you. All right?”
She looked down at her lap and nodded again. I almost pulled her into my arms and told her everything would be fine, but I held off.
“Then I’m taking you home. My place—home.”
“Ethan, that’s not a good idea,” she whispered, still looking down at her lap.
“Fuck good ideas,” I exploded. “Would you at least look at me?” She turned her eyes up to mine and smoldered in the seat, a hint of red fire flickering, making them look very brown. I wanted to drag her to me and shake her, force her to understand that this bullshit break-up was a thing of the past. She was coming home with me, period. I turned the key in the ignition.
“What do you want from me, Ethan?”
“That’s easy.” I made a rude noise. “I want to go back to ten days ago. I want to be back in my office, f**king on my desk with you wrapped around me! I want your body underneath mine looking up at me with some expression other than the one I saw when you left me at the lifts!” I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and took in air.
