All or Nothing at All
Page 22
Not that she was surprised. Looking back, she was ashamed of her need for him to fill all her empty spaces. God knows she wanted to teach Becca to be her own self before belonging to another. The thought of her daughter tightened her stomach, so she quickened her pace and concentrated on walking.
Pedestrians crowded the sidewalks, pressing into an impatient mass as they waited for the walk lights. Many ignored the flashing warnings, jumping into the street to beat a rushing cab, turning up a middle finger at the beeping and loud insults from the cabbie. Vendors took up street corners selling knockoff designer bags, pashmina scarves, and sunglasses. Artists sketched and ticket scalpers shouted amid homeless people with handmade signs begging for money. The smells of exhaust, hot dogs, and grease filled the air. She jumped over a steaming metal grate to avoid getting her heel caught, then turned right where the park opened up like a cool drink of water in the desert.
Up the stairs past ’Wichcraft, the famous sandwich shop by Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio. More vendor booths spilled out and lined the grassy center, boasting painted iPhone covers, custom jewelry, and pretty hair bands with bright ribbons and crystals. Hot soup was ladled into paper cups, served alongside churros, chili, chicken kebabs, and anything else a New Yorker could possibly crave. The ice rink would soon turn to green grass and become host to concerts and other events. Tristan stopped, lowering himself onto a bench. Still not speaking, she sat next to him.
His shoulder pressed against hers. Even in the March chill, the burn of his body heat tempted her to move closer. The delicious scent of salty ocean and warm sand filled her nostrils. Where had he discovered that cologne? She cursed the designer for creating it and driving her mad with lust. She’d never realized the beach could smell so damn good.
Slowly her body began to relax as he remained silent. They’d shared many wonderful things together she still missed. Passionate nights, engaging conversation, and raunchy humor. But what she grieved over the most were the gorgeous silences between them, filled with endless possibilities, deep understanding, and the fragility of the passing moment.
The sun skipped through the half-bare trees, and occasional chirps blasted from unseen perches from the birds returning from migration. Branches rustled, and a fat gray squirrel shot out from the brush to cross the pathway. A couple linked arm in arm strolled by, heads bent together, whispering with an intimacy that bespoke bliss. Two men in red plaid hats and heavy winter coats sat at a metal table, involved in a game of chess. She breathed in a lungful of air, feeling it penetrate all the closed parts of her body, then slowly released it. She remembered how they used to sit by the marina at the hidden spot they’d claimed. Hands clasped together, they’d sit in utter quiet while they studied the bright moon and listened to the gentle slurps of water sloshing against the boats.
God, how she’d missed him.
“You surprised me.”
His voice was full of all the things that seduced her. Gravel lined with silk. Smoke edged with flame. Grace entwined with raw power. A shudder wracked her body, but she fought through it. “Why? Because I actually handled him without asking for permission?” she said with a touch of defensiveness. She waited for his temper, ready to fight back. This was her deal, and he needed to accept it.
“No. Because you were magnificent.”
Her mouth fell open. “Huh?”
“I was wrong. You can handle this deal. You did everything I would have. You challenged him, held your ground, and gave where you could. You are ready for CFO. I just didn’t see it.”
The words settled into her soul and spread warmth through her body. Gaining Tristan’s respect was priceless. He was a tough taskmaster and held everyone to the highest standard, including himself. She knew how much it had taken for him to admit he’d been wrong.
She also realized the past two years of avoiding him was also her fault. Yes, she had a big secret to protect, but she’d never allowed him to see how much more she was capable of. How much she could handle.
How much she wanted.
“That’s because I never told you what I could do,” she admitted. “I kept it from everyone, then got frustrated when no one would give me a chance to prove myself. Thank you for backing me up today. It meant a lot.”
“You’re welcome.”
His arm pressed against her thigh, the tips of his fingers resting lightly against her bare calf. She shivered. His brows snapped in a frown. “You’re cold. I’m sorry, I didn’t think. You aren’t wearing a coat.”
“No, I’m fine, I don’t need—”
He ignored her, stripping off his suit jacket and placing it around her shoulders. The snowy-white shirt molded to his broad chest, emphasizing the lean cut of his hips and the hardness of his stomach. The line of his bright red tie was like a matador’s cape luring over a bull. Oh, how she wished she could rip open those buttons with her teeth and strip off that damn tie. Oh, the things they could do with it . . .
“You okay?”
Did she have a moony look on her face? Ugh. Knowing it was a battle she’d lose due to his innate chivalry, she huddled into the jacket, savoring the deliciousness of his lingering body warmth and scent. “Fine. Thank you.”
“Think we can convince our suppliers to cut another five percent off the top?” he asked.
She winced. “Not going to be easy. I’ll meet with Anthony Moretti. He’s the main leader, though he denies it. If he agrees, he’ll convince the others to work with us.”
“Good plan.”
They sat together on the bench, enjoying each other’s presence. Her eyes burned with emotion, but she chalked it up to fierce satisfaction at having this man finally see her for the woman she’d become. On his level.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this now. I know we’re in the midst of a big project. I know we just started a tentative truce. But there’s still something between us, Syd. And I’m telling you right now, I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it.”
His stark words fell between them in a challenge. He’d always been brutally honest. He went after what he wanted, or who, when he was truly ready. He’d fought their chemistry for over a year before he’d finally succumbed to the intense attraction. But when he broke, he’d bound her to him for life.
She refused to look at him. Her insides shivered with dread. With anticipation. With want.
Pedestrians crowded the sidewalks, pressing into an impatient mass as they waited for the walk lights. Many ignored the flashing warnings, jumping into the street to beat a rushing cab, turning up a middle finger at the beeping and loud insults from the cabbie. Vendors took up street corners selling knockoff designer bags, pashmina scarves, and sunglasses. Artists sketched and ticket scalpers shouted amid homeless people with handmade signs begging for money. The smells of exhaust, hot dogs, and grease filled the air. She jumped over a steaming metal grate to avoid getting her heel caught, then turned right where the park opened up like a cool drink of water in the desert.
Up the stairs past ’Wichcraft, the famous sandwich shop by Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio. More vendor booths spilled out and lined the grassy center, boasting painted iPhone covers, custom jewelry, and pretty hair bands with bright ribbons and crystals. Hot soup was ladled into paper cups, served alongside churros, chili, chicken kebabs, and anything else a New Yorker could possibly crave. The ice rink would soon turn to green grass and become host to concerts and other events. Tristan stopped, lowering himself onto a bench. Still not speaking, she sat next to him.
His shoulder pressed against hers. Even in the March chill, the burn of his body heat tempted her to move closer. The delicious scent of salty ocean and warm sand filled her nostrils. Where had he discovered that cologne? She cursed the designer for creating it and driving her mad with lust. She’d never realized the beach could smell so damn good.
Slowly her body began to relax as he remained silent. They’d shared many wonderful things together she still missed. Passionate nights, engaging conversation, and raunchy humor. But what she grieved over the most were the gorgeous silences between them, filled with endless possibilities, deep understanding, and the fragility of the passing moment.
The sun skipped through the half-bare trees, and occasional chirps blasted from unseen perches from the birds returning from migration. Branches rustled, and a fat gray squirrel shot out from the brush to cross the pathway. A couple linked arm in arm strolled by, heads bent together, whispering with an intimacy that bespoke bliss. Two men in red plaid hats and heavy winter coats sat at a metal table, involved in a game of chess. She breathed in a lungful of air, feeling it penetrate all the closed parts of her body, then slowly released it. She remembered how they used to sit by the marina at the hidden spot they’d claimed. Hands clasped together, they’d sit in utter quiet while they studied the bright moon and listened to the gentle slurps of water sloshing against the boats.
God, how she’d missed him.
“You surprised me.”
His voice was full of all the things that seduced her. Gravel lined with silk. Smoke edged with flame. Grace entwined with raw power. A shudder wracked her body, but she fought through it. “Why? Because I actually handled him without asking for permission?” she said with a touch of defensiveness. She waited for his temper, ready to fight back. This was her deal, and he needed to accept it.
“No. Because you were magnificent.”
Her mouth fell open. “Huh?”
“I was wrong. You can handle this deal. You did everything I would have. You challenged him, held your ground, and gave where you could. You are ready for CFO. I just didn’t see it.”
The words settled into her soul and spread warmth through her body. Gaining Tristan’s respect was priceless. He was a tough taskmaster and held everyone to the highest standard, including himself. She knew how much it had taken for him to admit he’d been wrong.
She also realized the past two years of avoiding him was also her fault. Yes, she had a big secret to protect, but she’d never allowed him to see how much more she was capable of. How much she could handle.
How much she wanted.
“That’s because I never told you what I could do,” she admitted. “I kept it from everyone, then got frustrated when no one would give me a chance to prove myself. Thank you for backing me up today. It meant a lot.”
“You’re welcome.”
His arm pressed against her thigh, the tips of his fingers resting lightly against her bare calf. She shivered. His brows snapped in a frown. “You’re cold. I’m sorry, I didn’t think. You aren’t wearing a coat.”
“No, I’m fine, I don’t need—”
He ignored her, stripping off his suit jacket and placing it around her shoulders. The snowy-white shirt molded to his broad chest, emphasizing the lean cut of his hips and the hardness of his stomach. The line of his bright red tie was like a matador’s cape luring over a bull. Oh, how she wished she could rip open those buttons with her teeth and strip off that damn tie. Oh, the things they could do with it . . .
“You okay?”
Did she have a moony look on her face? Ugh. Knowing it was a battle she’d lose due to his innate chivalry, she huddled into the jacket, savoring the deliciousness of his lingering body warmth and scent. “Fine. Thank you.”
“Think we can convince our suppliers to cut another five percent off the top?” he asked.
She winced. “Not going to be easy. I’ll meet with Anthony Moretti. He’s the main leader, though he denies it. If he agrees, he’ll convince the others to work with us.”
“Good plan.”
They sat together on the bench, enjoying each other’s presence. Her eyes burned with emotion, but she chalked it up to fierce satisfaction at having this man finally see her for the woman she’d become. On his level.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this now. I know we’re in the midst of a big project. I know we just started a tentative truce. But there’s still something between us, Syd. And I’m telling you right now, I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it.”
His stark words fell between them in a challenge. He’d always been brutally honest. He went after what he wanted, or who, when he was truly ready. He’d fought their chemistry for over a year before he’d finally succumbed to the intense attraction. But when he broke, he’d bound her to him for life.
She refused to look at him. Her insides shivered with dread. With anticipation. With want.
