All or Nothing at All
Page 76
He poured her a mug and walked back into the bedroom. She snatched it, allowing the sheet to fall, and he happily feasted on the vision of her perfect bare breasts, nipples pebbling in the cool morning air. “Thanks,” she muttered into her mug.
“How are you doing?”
She grunted. “Between horseback riding and you, I’ll be hobbling around today.”
Satisfaction curled in his gut. Good. A man had done his job if his woman couldn’t walk the next day. “Now you’re just flattering me.”
She snorted a half laugh, still sipping. “I need to call Morgan and check on Becca.”
“As soon as you get dressed, we can go together.” He studied her, looking for any sign of tension or defense. “Do you want to talk?”
Amusement flickered in her emerald eyes. “Do you?”
Damn, she was hot. His heart squeezed. He adored her smart-ass ways and her constant surprises. “Yes. I feel like I need reassurance.”
This time she gave a full laugh. “We’re married already, so it’s not like I can call you a one-night stand.”
“Will you stop sneaking out of our room at night?”
“I guess,” she muttered. “Though it was starting to get fun.”
“I’ll find a new game we can both enjoy.”
Her brow lifted. “Like last night?” she teased.
“Yes. Like last night. Though I’d rather not have to chase you through the house next time.”
Her smile slowly disappeared. She dropped her gaze, and a strange fear clutched at him. Was she having second thoughts? He didn’t want to force her into his bed every night. He needed her to want him just as bad. “Syd? Look at me.”
She raised her chin. A strange mixture of emotions swirled in her emerald eyes. Was that a glint of sadness or just a trick of the light? “I can’t fight this anymore,” she said quietly. “I want you. There’s no use denying it. But I also can’t have you doing this to—to get back at me. For hurting you. I can’t play those types of games.”
He put his mug down and went to the bed. Grasping her arms, he leaned over her and met her miserable gaze. “Baby, that was no game last night.”
“I can’t take the coldness anymore. There’s no way I can be in your bed and deal with such distance in the morning.”
He let out his breath and took her in his arms, hugging her tight. Yes, he was still struggling with the truth about Becca, but she was right. They couldn’t go on with him holding her away because of lingering resentment. He tried to put it in words. “I’m sorry, baby. When you told me about Becca, I was so angry I didn’t know how to act. It was easier to push you away and keep you there until I wrapped my head around it. I’m still struggling with knowing you kept her from me, but I want you just as badly as you want me. I’ve never been able to fight our connection. It’s not about revenge, Syd. I want to try to move forward in this marriage for all of us. Especially Becca.”
She nodded against his chest. “Okay. We can take it slow, day by day.”
“Deal.” He tipped up her chin and pressed a hard kiss on her mouth. “Finish your coffee, and I’ll call Morgan.”
As he left the bedroom, his spirits lifted. Everything had slid into place. He’d have Sydney in his life, and in his bed.
He began to whistle as he picked up the phone to call his daughter.
Sydney sipped her coffee and stared at the empty doorway. Last night he’d finally given her hope. The stirring tenderness and blinding intensity as he made love to her told her what words never could.
He still had feelings for her.
He was her husband. He was in her bed. He was involved in her day-to-day life and was a wonderful father to Becca.
Last night she’d realized he’d broken through every one of her defenses, and they’d never be rebuilt. She couldn’t fight him any longer. Maybe if she accepted him fully into her life, he’d eventually open his heart again.
She was going to try to make this a real marriage and win back his trust. One day he’d have to understand that she’d kept the truth from him about Becca to protect her daughter. She’d never wanted to hurt him. Time would build trust. Forgiveness.
Time would bring hope.
Sydney dragged in a breath and set her shoulders for the biggest battle she had ever waged.
The battle for his heart. She couldn’t accept any less from him.
It was all or nothing at all.
chapter twenty-three
Goodness, gracious, I’m getting married, y’all.” Sydney laughed at Morgan’s incredulous expression, like it had finally hit her right before she was about to walk down the aisle. Raven flanked her on the other side, looking gorgeous in the sleek buttercream dress with her dark hair pinned up high. Thank God Morgan had chosen a sophisticated color palette that emphasized her Southern roots and elegant simplicity.
Plus, Sydney could actually wear the dress again.
“You look beautiful,” she whispered, fussing with Morgan’s train.
“You do, kitten.” Morgan’s father gripped her elbow, his full mane of white hair, blue eyes, and crisp tuxedo giving him a dignified air. Sydney had fallen in love with Morgan’s parents and wished her mother would stick around. Diane would’ve loved her, with her classic breeding, sly humor, and obvious love for her daughter and Cal. Sydney imagined the two women chattering late into the evening while they watched their children walk off hand in hand.
“Showtime,” Raven announced, turning toward the heavy wooden doors. The music poured into the foyer of the church, and Raven headed down the aisle.
Sydney bent down to whisper in Becca’s ear. “Ready sweetheart? It’s your cue.”
“Ready, Mama.”
Excitement lit her gold-green eyes, and seeming perfectly poised, she began slowly walking down the aisle, scattering blush-pink rose petals. Her dress was the same color as the roses, and with the baby’s breath braided through her hair, she looked stunning. There was a tittering in the crowd as everyone watched her, and Sydney puffed up with pride. Two weddings in under a year. Becca was practically an expert.
She studied Tristan’s expression as he watched Becca walk down the aisle. Her whole being pulsed with joy as the two people she loved most joined at the altar. He motioned for Becca to stand all the way to the right. She nodded and gave him a thumbs-up, which threw the guests into laughter, then moved to her place.
“How are you doing?”
She grunted. “Between horseback riding and you, I’ll be hobbling around today.”
Satisfaction curled in his gut. Good. A man had done his job if his woman couldn’t walk the next day. “Now you’re just flattering me.”
She snorted a half laugh, still sipping. “I need to call Morgan and check on Becca.”
“As soon as you get dressed, we can go together.” He studied her, looking for any sign of tension or defense. “Do you want to talk?”
Amusement flickered in her emerald eyes. “Do you?”
Damn, she was hot. His heart squeezed. He adored her smart-ass ways and her constant surprises. “Yes. I feel like I need reassurance.”
This time she gave a full laugh. “We’re married already, so it’s not like I can call you a one-night stand.”
“Will you stop sneaking out of our room at night?”
“I guess,” she muttered. “Though it was starting to get fun.”
“I’ll find a new game we can both enjoy.”
Her brow lifted. “Like last night?” she teased.
“Yes. Like last night. Though I’d rather not have to chase you through the house next time.”
Her smile slowly disappeared. She dropped her gaze, and a strange fear clutched at him. Was she having second thoughts? He didn’t want to force her into his bed every night. He needed her to want him just as bad. “Syd? Look at me.”
She raised her chin. A strange mixture of emotions swirled in her emerald eyes. Was that a glint of sadness or just a trick of the light? “I can’t fight this anymore,” she said quietly. “I want you. There’s no use denying it. But I also can’t have you doing this to—to get back at me. For hurting you. I can’t play those types of games.”
He put his mug down and went to the bed. Grasping her arms, he leaned over her and met her miserable gaze. “Baby, that was no game last night.”
“I can’t take the coldness anymore. There’s no way I can be in your bed and deal with such distance in the morning.”
He let out his breath and took her in his arms, hugging her tight. Yes, he was still struggling with the truth about Becca, but she was right. They couldn’t go on with him holding her away because of lingering resentment. He tried to put it in words. “I’m sorry, baby. When you told me about Becca, I was so angry I didn’t know how to act. It was easier to push you away and keep you there until I wrapped my head around it. I’m still struggling with knowing you kept her from me, but I want you just as badly as you want me. I’ve never been able to fight our connection. It’s not about revenge, Syd. I want to try to move forward in this marriage for all of us. Especially Becca.”
She nodded against his chest. “Okay. We can take it slow, day by day.”
“Deal.” He tipped up her chin and pressed a hard kiss on her mouth. “Finish your coffee, and I’ll call Morgan.”
As he left the bedroom, his spirits lifted. Everything had slid into place. He’d have Sydney in his life, and in his bed.
He began to whistle as he picked up the phone to call his daughter.
Sydney sipped her coffee and stared at the empty doorway. Last night he’d finally given her hope. The stirring tenderness and blinding intensity as he made love to her told her what words never could.
He still had feelings for her.
He was her husband. He was in her bed. He was involved in her day-to-day life and was a wonderful father to Becca.
Last night she’d realized he’d broken through every one of her defenses, and they’d never be rebuilt. She couldn’t fight him any longer. Maybe if she accepted him fully into her life, he’d eventually open his heart again.
She was going to try to make this a real marriage and win back his trust. One day he’d have to understand that she’d kept the truth from him about Becca to protect her daughter. She’d never wanted to hurt him. Time would build trust. Forgiveness.
Time would bring hope.
Sydney dragged in a breath and set her shoulders for the biggest battle she had ever waged.
The battle for his heart. She couldn’t accept any less from him.
It was all or nothing at all.
chapter twenty-three
Goodness, gracious, I’m getting married, y’all.” Sydney laughed at Morgan’s incredulous expression, like it had finally hit her right before she was about to walk down the aisle. Raven flanked her on the other side, looking gorgeous in the sleek buttercream dress with her dark hair pinned up high. Thank God Morgan had chosen a sophisticated color palette that emphasized her Southern roots and elegant simplicity.
Plus, Sydney could actually wear the dress again.
“You look beautiful,” she whispered, fussing with Morgan’s train.
“You do, kitten.” Morgan’s father gripped her elbow, his full mane of white hair, blue eyes, and crisp tuxedo giving him a dignified air. Sydney had fallen in love with Morgan’s parents and wished her mother would stick around. Diane would’ve loved her, with her classic breeding, sly humor, and obvious love for her daughter and Cal. Sydney imagined the two women chattering late into the evening while they watched their children walk off hand in hand.
“Showtime,” Raven announced, turning toward the heavy wooden doors. The music poured into the foyer of the church, and Raven headed down the aisle.
Sydney bent down to whisper in Becca’s ear. “Ready sweetheart? It’s your cue.”
“Ready, Mama.”
Excitement lit her gold-green eyes, and seeming perfectly poised, she began slowly walking down the aisle, scattering blush-pink rose petals. Her dress was the same color as the roses, and with the baby’s breath braided through her hair, she looked stunning. There was a tittering in the crowd as everyone watched her, and Sydney puffed up with pride. Two weddings in under a year. Becca was practically an expert.
She studied Tristan’s expression as he watched Becca walk down the aisle. Her whole being pulsed with joy as the two people she loved most joined at the altar. He motioned for Becca to stand all the way to the right. She nodded and gave him a thumbs-up, which threw the guests into laughter, then moved to her place.
