All the Pretty Poses
Page 4
“I wouldn’t blame him. I loved watching you. But I didn’t love everyone else watching you.”
Reese’s eyes flicker down to my mouth, making my lips tingle again. I’m stuck in some surreal place between what was and what is. Some part of me is teetering on the edge of the ocean of passion and desire that Reese and I once drifted within. But another part of me, the scarred part, remembers what it felt like to drown in those waters.
Helpless. And all alone.
I take a step back. “Well I guess it’s a good thing I’m not yours then, right, Reese?”
“But you could be,” he says softly, not moving any closer, eyes just as intense.
My heart is aching in my chest. The girl in me, the one who loved him so deeply so many years ago, wants to run to him, to throw myself in his arms and ask him where he’s been all this time. But the woman in me, the woman who had to clean up the mess of that girl, the one who suffers the echoes of all those tears, knows that there is nothing to run back to. There never was.
“Is that what this is about? You getting another shot at little Kennedy?” I can’t keep the bitterness from my tone, so I don’t even try. “Because I’m not that little girl anymore.”
“Oh, I can see that.”
“I won’t retrace her footsteps, Reese. You should know that now. If you make this offer, and if I accept, it’ll be strictly professional.”
Reese sighs. “I want to help you, Kennedy. I really do. And I will. But I won’t deny that I want you.” He takes one easy step toward me. “Or that I intend to have you.”
My insides quake. His words…the memories…that look in his eyes…
But I reach down deep for the strong Kennedy that rose from the ashes of the girl that knelt at Reese’s feet. I wrap myself in her confidence, in her resolve. It’s her that gives Reese my most stunning smile. “Then I hope you’re okay with disappointment, because there’s no way in hell I’d go down that road again.”
Reese nods his head regally, a silent Touché. It’s as I turn to walk away that he lands his parting shot.
“Just don’t expect me to help you resist me, Kennedy. In fact, I promise you that I’ll make it as hard as I can.”
My legs falter only for a moment as they carry me resolutely, albeit unsteadily, away from Reese.
CHAPTER SEVEN - Reese
There’s no reason for me not to make plans for Kennedy’s arrival on my yacht. Part of it is being sure of myself and my powers of persuasion. I’ve spent most of my life getting what I want. I’ve learned how to do it effectively, no matter who I’m negotiating with. But part of it is anticipation. I’m ready to get this show on the road. I’m anxious to spend some time getting to know this new Kennedy, the one who dances like she’s dancing just for me. The one whose legs are longer than ever. The one whose lips are made just for mine. The one who I’m going to gorge myself on until I can’t stand the sight of her.
I need to get Kennedy in my bed and out of my system as soon as possible.
Being the owner of the club at which she works, I have access to all of Kennedy’s records—her mandatory health exams, including the results of her labs that show she’s clean as a whistle; the brands of products she orders for her shows, from makeup to body glitter (which she never orders); her shoe and clothing sizes; and even the fact that she loves hats. I pass most of that information along to Kimmie, the woman in charge of the entertainment on my cruises. She can order outfits and accoutrements for Kennedy based on what she’s worn in the past.
So, in essence, I have all the information I need to make sure Kennedy’s room is prepared for her when she boards. And she will board. I was even able to get the son of a friend of my father’s to find out if she has a passport that’s up to date, which she does.
The last thing I have to do is let Kennedy know what time the car will be around to pick her up. I punch in the number that I got from her contact information sheet into my phone and listen to it ring.
“Hello?” comes a sleepy, husky voice.
“Mmmm, that sounds like an invitation,” I murmur. And it does. It says to me that she’s lying warm and na**d beneath her sheets, her skin supple, her body willing.
After a short pause, during which I can almost hear Kennedy’s eyes opening wider as she comes awake, she speaks. “Then you would be mistaken,” she replies, prim and curt. She doesn’t ask who’s calling or mistake me for another man. She recognizes my voice, which means she’s been thinking about me. Maybe remembering. Maybe wishing.
“Get someone to look after your cat for three months, and be packed and ready by four o’clock. I’ll send someone to escort you to the airport. And bring your passport.”
“How do you know I have a cat?”
“Educated guess.”
She sniffs at my reply. “Aren’t you being a little presumptuous?” she asks sharply.
“Not at all. You’re a smart woman. You’ve looked at your options. You’ve weighed the merits of working the summer in my club and planning for the dream you may or may not achieve on your own, versus working for me and getting a once-in-a-lifetime audition that you could likely never get on your own, and you’ve concluded that there’s only one sensible choice.”
“Just like you knew I would,” she says quietly.
I can’t help but smile. I’m sure she hates that I’ve engineered the situation so perfectly. But if I didn’t know how to make offers people can’t refuse, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be who I am today.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are very few people who can deny me.”
“And, aside from me, who might those be?”
“You’re not denying me.”
“I’m taking you up on an offer, but you can rest assured that I’ll be denying you in every other possible way.”
“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”
I hear her soft huff and I smile again. This might be even more fun than I anticipated. And I anticipated a whole hell of a lot!
Before she can argue further, I cut her off. “I’ll see you at four.”
I hang up.
I’m still smiling, thinking, planning when the phone rings in my hand. It’s a number I don’t recognize. The switch to Harrison Spencer is swift and automatic.
“Spencer,” I answer brusquely.
“Mr. Spencer, my name is Oswold Bingham. I represent Malcolm Spencer’s estate. Would you be available to attend the reading of his will today? You’ve been mentioned in a recently-notarized codicil.”
I frown. I never expected to be named in Malcolm’s will. It makes me feel even worse about my protracted absence.
“What time?”
“Three pm, sir. The reading will be done here at Bellano. In the study.”
I don’t bother to hide my sigh of irritation. “Fine, but I can only give you until 3:45. No later. I’m flying out this afternoon.”
“I’ll make sure to accommodate you then, sir. I’ll be seeing you at three?”
“Yes,” I respond.
“Thank you.”
I hang up in a much pricklier mood than I was two minutes ago.
CHAPTER EIGHT - Kennedy
As I shower and dress, I still question the wisdom of taking Reese up on his offer. It’s a golden opportunity. All I have to do is just resist him long enough to make it off that boat and get what I came for.
Just resist him.
Like it’s that easy.
Right.
Impulsively, I decide to visit Tanny. All my life, she’s been my go-to person for advice. And comfort. And trustworthy friendship. Growing up at the back edge of Bellano with my foster father, Hank, in the grounds keeper’s cottage left me with little in the way of playmates or companions that lived nearby, so Tanny was it.
And Reese.
For a while.
Out of habit, I drive around the property and park at my old house, one that now sits empty since Malcolm hired a company to care for the grounds. I walk the old, familiar trail through the woods, the one that bursts into the lush grass surrounding Bellano, right behind the garage at the kitchen door.
I rap my knuckles on the screen and wait for a response. Tanny is an early riser, but even if she weren’t, eleven is plenty late for an impromptu visit.
Within a minute, I hear the click of a lock and the wooden door swings open, revealing Tanny’s smiling face behind the screen between us.
“I was wondering when I’d see you,” she says with a smile, flipping the latch on the screen so that I can enter.
“What made you think I’d come today?” I ask as I enter the kitchen. It smells just like it always has, like a mixture of something sweet baking, coffee and Malcolm’s pipe tobacco. It’s the most comforting aroma in the world.
“Yesterday was hard for all of us. In all kinds of different ways,” she adds meaningfully, sending me a knowing look over her shoulder as she pours me a cup of coffee.
“Tanny, it was awful! He saw me dancing the other night. That was bad enough, but then to have to see him and talk to him…and for him to ask me to work on his boat…”
She turns around at that. “He asked you to work on his boat?”
“Yes. In exchange for getting me an audition with the Altman troupe. Can you believe that?”
Her smile is slight. “Yes, actually I can.” I don’t ask what she means by that. “Have you decided what you’ll do?”
I sigh and circle my fingers over one throbbing temple. “I think so. I’m not sure it’s the right thing, but I just can’t see me letting an opportunity like this pass me by.”
Tanny nods her head, sipping her coffee and holding her tongue.
“I mean, I got over Reese a long time ago. And this is work. Not to mention that it could mean a totally different future for me.”
“That, it could,” she agrees.
“Right?” I ask, looking for her validation and her encouragement, and maybe someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.
“Will you be able to live with the regret of not taking this chance?”
“I learned a long time ago that I can live with a lot of regret and still survive, Tanny. But the thing is, do I need to? Can this really be as amazing as it seems? Or is it too good to be true?”
“What, exactly, are you worried about, Kennedy?” Tanny asks, setting her mug down and taking my free hand in both of hers.
“Oh, Tanny. I’m worried about me. I buried that poor girl who we all knew a long, long time ago, but…”
“But what? If you buried her, then there’s nothing to worry about, is there?”
“I wouldn’t think so if I just didn’t feel so…so…”
“So what?”
“So drawn to him. God, it’s like no amount of hate can kill what he does to me. What he’s always done to me. But I know I can’t trust him. He is a man, after all. Even if he makes me feel like no man ever has.”
A look of sadness comes across Tanny’s face. “Despite everything you’ve been through, despite all the reasons you have for feeling the way that you do, you can’t go through life thinking you’ll never find a man you can trust.”
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world.” I try to keep my expression as unaffected as possible. But, like always, Tanny sees right through it.
She reaches over to squeeze my fingers. “But it’s in all of us to want to find someone to share our lives with, to find someone to trust and love. Maybe you more than most.”
“The girl in me used to think so, but now…”
“Maybe this will be good for you, Kennedy. Maybe you need to get some closure. For that girl you buried. And for the woman who took her place. You didn’t become your strong self by hiding from adversity. You got this way by facing it. By overcoming. Don’t let the past color your future. You’re too smart to let that happen.”
All my waffling seems silly now. “You’re so right, Tanny.” Impulsively, I lean over and hug her slight frame to mine. “He’s just a man. One man who I used to know. He has no control over me unless I give it to him. I have nothing to fear. He’s simply bringing me one step closer to my dream. That’s all.”
“One step closer to your dream,” Tanny repeats, patting my cheek reassuringly. The funny thing is, I get the feeling that she’s speaking about much more than just my dancing.
CHAPTER NINE - Reese
I head to Bellano a few minutes before the reading of the will. As I’m pulling into my old spot beside the garage, I see the flash of a familiar chestnut head ducking into the woods to my right.
Kennedy. She’s been on my mind so much for the last thirty-six hours; I’d recognize that head anywhere now.
I’m curious as to why she was here, but I’m also ten times more distracted than I was to begin with. Knowing she’s in the forest right now…so near the place where I took her virginity all those years ago…all alone in the privacy of the trees… God, it makes me throb—the desire to taste how time has matured and sweetened that delectable body of hers.
Damn.
With a muffled growl, I get out of the car and head around to the kitchen entrance. I glance up at the window as I approach the steps. Force of habit. But this time Tanny is standing there, like she used to be, smiling at me as I ascend the stairs.
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s still in the kitchen after having talked to Kennedy.
“Good morning, handsome boy.” Tanny greets me with a smile, a kiss to the cheek and a cup of coffee as I walk through the door.
Reese’s eyes flicker down to my mouth, making my lips tingle again. I’m stuck in some surreal place between what was and what is. Some part of me is teetering on the edge of the ocean of passion and desire that Reese and I once drifted within. But another part of me, the scarred part, remembers what it felt like to drown in those waters.
Helpless. And all alone.
I take a step back. “Well I guess it’s a good thing I’m not yours then, right, Reese?”
“But you could be,” he says softly, not moving any closer, eyes just as intense.
My heart is aching in my chest. The girl in me, the one who loved him so deeply so many years ago, wants to run to him, to throw myself in his arms and ask him where he’s been all this time. But the woman in me, the woman who had to clean up the mess of that girl, the one who suffers the echoes of all those tears, knows that there is nothing to run back to. There never was.
“Is that what this is about? You getting another shot at little Kennedy?” I can’t keep the bitterness from my tone, so I don’t even try. “Because I’m not that little girl anymore.”
“Oh, I can see that.”
“I won’t retrace her footsteps, Reese. You should know that now. If you make this offer, and if I accept, it’ll be strictly professional.”
Reese sighs. “I want to help you, Kennedy. I really do. And I will. But I won’t deny that I want you.” He takes one easy step toward me. “Or that I intend to have you.”
My insides quake. His words…the memories…that look in his eyes…
But I reach down deep for the strong Kennedy that rose from the ashes of the girl that knelt at Reese’s feet. I wrap myself in her confidence, in her resolve. It’s her that gives Reese my most stunning smile. “Then I hope you’re okay with disappointment, because there’s no way in hell I’d go down that road again.”
Reese nods his head regally, a silent Touché. It’s as I turn to walk away that he lands his parting shot.
“Just don’t expect me to help you resist me, Kennedy. In fact, I promise you that I’ll make it as hard as I can.”
My legs falter only for a moment as they carry me resolutely, albeit unsteadily, away from Reese.
CHAPTER SEVEN - Reese
There’s no reason for me not to make plans for Kennedy’s arrival on my yacht. Part of it is being sure of myself and my powers of persuasion. I’ve spent most of my life getting what I want. I’ve learned how to do it effectively, no matter who I’m negotiating with. But part of it is anticipation. I’m ready to get this show on the road. I’m anxious to spend some time getting to know this new Kennedy, the one who dances like she’s dancing just for me. The one whose legs are longer than ever. The one whose lips are made just for mine. The one who I’m going to gorge myself on until I can’t stand the sight of her.
I need to get Kennedy in my bed and out of my system as soon as possible.
Being the owner of the club at which she works, I have access to all of Kennedy’s records—her mandatory health exams, including the results of her labs that show she’s clean as a whistle; the brands of products she orders for her shows, from makeup to body glitter (which she never orders); her shoe and clothing sizes; and even the fact that she loves hats. I pass most of that information along to Kimmie, the woman in charge of the entertainment on my cruises. She can order outfits and accoutrements for Kennedy based on what she’s worn in the past.
So, in essence, I have all the information I need to make sure Kennedy’s room is prepared for her when she boards. And she will board. I was even able to get the son of a friend of my father’s to find out if she has a passport that’s up to date, which she does.
The last thing I have to do is let Kennedy know what time the car will be around to pick her up. I punch in the number that I got from her contact information sheet into my phone and listen to it ring.
“Hello?” comes a sleepy, husky voice.
“Mmmm, that sounds like an invitation,” I murmur. And it does. It says to me that she’s lying warm and na**d beneath her sheets, her skin supple, her body willing.
After a short pause, during which I can almost hear Kennedy’s eyes opening wider as she comes awake, she speaks. “Then you would be mistaken,” she replies, prim and curt. She doesn’t ask who’s calling or mistake me for another man. She recognizes my voice, which means she’s been thinking about me. Maybe remembering. Maybe wishing.
“Get someone to look after your cat for three months, and be packed and ready by four o’clock. I’ll send someone to escort you to the airport. And bring your passport.”
“How do you know I have a cat?”
“Educated guess.”
She sniffs at my reply. “Aren’t you being a little presumptuous?” she asks sharply.
“Not at all. You’re a smart woman. You’ve looked at your options. You’ve weighed the merits of working the summer in my club and planning for the dream you may or may not achieve on your own, versus working for me and getting a once-in-a-lifetime audition that you could likely never get on your own, and you’ve concluded that there’s only one sensible choice.”
“Just like you knew I would,” she says quietly.
I can’t help but smile. I’m sure she hates that I’ve engineered the situation so perfectly. But if I didn’t know how to make offers people can’t refuse, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be who I am today.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are very few people who can deny me.”
“And, aside from me, who might those be?”
“You’re not denying me.”
“I’m taking you up on an offer, but you can rest assured that I’ll be denying you in every other possible way.”
“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”
I hear her soft huff and I smile again. This might be even more fun than I anticipated. And I anticipated a whole hell of a lot!
Before she can argue further, I cut her off. “I’ll see you at four.”
I hang up.
I’m still smiling, thinking, planning when the phone rings in my hand. It’s a number I don’t recognize. The switch to Harrison Spencer is swift and automatic.
“Spencer,” I answer brusquely.
“Mr. Spencer, my name is Oswold Bingham. I represent Malcolm Spencer’s estate. Would you be available to attend the reading of his will today? You’ve been mentioned in a recently-notarized codicil.”
I frown. I never expected to be named in Malcolm’s will. It makes me feel even worse about my protracted absence.
“What time?”
“Three pm, sir. The reading will be done here at Bellano. In the study.”
I don’t bother to hide my sigh of irritation. “Fine, but I can only give you until 3:45. No later. I’m flying out this afternoon.”
“I’ll make sure to accommodate you then, sir. I’ll be seeing you at three?”
“Yes,” I respond.
“Thank you.”
I hang up in a much pricklier mood than I was two minutes ago.
CHAPTER EIGHT - Kennedy
As I shower and dress, I still question the wisdom of taking Reese up on his offer. It’s a golden opportunity. All I have to do is just resist him long enough to make it off that boat and get what I came for.
Just resist him.
Like it’s that easy.
Right.
Impulsively, I decide to visit Tanny. All my life, she’s been my go-to person for advice. And comfort. And trustworthy friendship. Growing up at the back edge of Bellano with my foster father, Hank, in the grounds keeper’s cottage left me with little in the way of playmates or companions that lived nearby, so Tanny was it.
And Reese.
For a while.
Out of habit, I drive around the property and park at my old house, one that now sits empty since Malcolm hired a company to care for the grounds. I walk the old, familiar trail through the woods, the one that bursts into the lush grass surrounding Bellano, right behind the garage at the kitchen door.
I rap my knuckles on the screen and wait for a response. Tanny is an early riser, but even if she weren’t, eleven is plenty late for an impromptu visit.
Within a minute, I hear the click of a lock and the wooden door swings open, revealing Tanny’s smiling face behind the screen between us.
“I was wondering when I’d see you,” she says with a smile, flipping the latch on the screen so that I can enter.
“What made you think I’d come today?” I ask as I enter the kitchen. It smells just like it always has, like a mixture of something sweet baking, coffee and Malcolm’s pipe tobacco. It’s the most comforting aroma in the world.
“Yesterday was hard for all of us. In all kinds of different ways,” she adds meaningfully, sending me a knowing look over her shoulder as she pours me a cup of coffee.
“Tanny, it was awful! He saw me dancing the other night. That was bad enough, but then to have to see him and talk to him…and for him to ask me to work on his boat…”
She turns around at that. “He asked you to work on his boat?”
“Yes. In exchange for getting me an audition with the Altman troupe. Can you believe that?”
Her smile is slight. “Yes, actually I can.” I don’t ask what she means by that. “Have you decided what you’ll do?”
I sigh and circle my fingers over one throbbing temple. “I think so. I’m not sure it’s the right thing, but I just can’t see me letting an opportunity like this pass me by.”
Tanny nods her head, sipping her coffee and holding her tongue.
“I mean, I got over Reese a long time ago. And this is work. Not to mention that it could mean a totally different future for me.”
“That, it could,” she agrees.
“Right?” I ask, looking for her validation and her encouragement, and maybe someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.
“Will you be able to live with the regret of not taking this chance?”
“I learned a long time ago that I can live with a lot of regret and still survive, Tanny. But the thing is, do I need to? Can this really be as amazing as it seems? Or is it too good to be true?”
“What, exactly, are you worried about, Kennedy?” Tanny asks, setting her mug down and taking my free hand in both of hers.
“Oh, Tanny. I’m worried about me. I buried that poor girl who we all knew a long, long time ago, but…”
“But what? If you buried her, then there’s nothing to worry about, is there?”
“I wouldn’t think so if I just didn’t feel so…so…”
“So what?”
“So drawn to him. God, it’s like no amount of hate can kill what he does to me. What he’s always done to me. But I know I can’t trust him. He is a man, after all. Even if he makes me feel like no man ever has.”
A look of sadness comes across Tanny’s face. “Despite everything you’ve been through, despite all the reasons you have for feeling the way that you do, you can’t go through life thinking you’ll never find a man you can trust.”
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world.” I try to keep my expression as unaffected as possible. But, like always, Tanny sees right through it.
She reaches over to squeeze my fingers. “But it’s in all of us to want to find someone to share our lives with, to find someone to trust and love. Maybe you more than most.”
“The girl in me used to think so, but now…”
“Maybe this will be good for you, Kennedy. Maybe you need to get some closure. For that girl you buried. And for the woman who took her place. You didn’t become your strong self by hiding from adversity. You got this way by facing it. By overcoming. Don’t let the past color your future. You’re too smart to let that happen.”
All my waffling seems silly now. “You’re so right, Tanny.” Impulsively, I lean over and hug her slight frame to mine. “He’s just a man. One man who I used to know. He has no control over me unless I give it to him. I have nothing to fear. He’s simply bringing me one step closer to my dream. That’s all.”
“One step closer to your dream,” Tanny repeats, patting my cheek reassuringly. The funny thing is, I get the feeling that she’s speaking about much more than just my dancing.
CHAPTER NINE - Reese
I head to Bellano a few minutes before the reading of the will. As I’m pulling into my old spot beside the garage, I see the flash of a familiar chestnut head ducking into the woods to my right.
Kennedy. She’s been on my mind so much for the last thirty-six hours; I’d recognize that head anywhere now.
I’m curious as to why she was here, but I’m also ten times more distracted than I was to begin with. Knowing she’s in the forest right now…so near the place where I took her virginity all those years ago…all alone in the privacy of the trees… God, it makes me throb—the desire to taste how time has matured and sweetened that delectable body of hers.
Damn.
With a muffled growl, I get out of the car and head around to the kitchen entrance. I glance up at the window as I approach the steps. Force of habit. But this time Tanny is standing there, like she used to be, smiling at me as I ascend the stairs.
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s still in the kitchen after having talked to Kennedy.
“Good morning, handsome boy.” Tanny greets me with a smile, a kiss to the cheek and a cup of coffee as I walk through the door.
