Almost Perfect
Page 26
Liz didn’t mean to be insensitive, but she couldn’t help laughing. “I’m not sure they have that title yet.”
“I have to do something. I guess I should really be grateful she only left me the cat. She had those embryos. I don’t know what arrangements she made for them.”
Liz hadn’t thought about that, but it made sense. Crystal would be concerned about her unborn children. “That would be a lot of responsibility,” she conceded quietly.
“Figuring out what to do with them?” Pia asked.
“Sure. Implied in the gift is the request to have the babies, then raise them.”
“I’m glad it’s not me,” Pia noted. “A cat is about all I could handle. I’m not very maternal.”
“You don’t know until you try.”
“I have trouble keeping plants alive. I don’t really do the nurturing thing.”
Liz shook her head. “Do you think I was prepared to have Tyler? You do what’s required. At first it’s hard, but then it gets easier.”
“I need a drink,” Pia muttered. “Let’s go see what Jo’s pouring.”
They made their way to the bar. Before they reached it, an older woman paused to glare at Liz.
She felt a sinking sensation in her stomach and wondered if she could escape out the back way. But before the plan formed, the woman spoke.
“You should have married him,” the older woman snapped, her eyes nearly as blue as her hair. A shapeless floral print dress hung past her knees and her sensible shoes gave her an extra inch of height. “It’s disgraceful. In my generation, if a girl got pregnant, she married the father of her child. Now young people have sex and don’t worry about the consequences.”
Liz opened her mouth, then closed it. What was there to say? Her mind was totally blank, except for the continual chanting of “Anywhere but here.”
Pia stepped in front of her and waved her index finger at the woman. “Back off, Esmeralda. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Liz was a kid. If you’re so concerned about what’s right, why didn’t you step in back then? Why didn’t you talk like this to Liz’s mother? Everyone knew what was happening at her house. Where was your moral code then?”
Esmeralda pressed her thin lips together. “Well, I never.”
“Now you have,” Pia declared firmly. “This is my friend’s wake. Do you really think Crystal would want you talking like this here?”
Liz, feeling all warm and fuzzy and supported, expected the older woman to snap back at Pia.
“You’re right,” Esmeralda said primly. She turned to Liz. “I apologize. For Crystal’s sake.”
“Thank you,” Liz acknowledged, stunned.
Pia linked arms with Liz and took her the rest of the way to the bar. “See? It’s not so bad here.”
“I can’t always count on you to rescue me.”
“I will if I’m there. And let me say for the record, that shows what an amazing person I am.”
Liz accepted the drink Jo passed her. “Because I don’t deserve you defending me?”
Pia took her drink, smiled her thanks, then turned back to Liz. “You walk really straight for someone with such a big chip on her shoulder. It’s impressive.”
Liz bristled. “I don’t have a chip.”
“Oh, please. It’s huge. The size of a small car. Which must make sleeping difficult.”
Liz narrowed her gaze. “Are you drunk?”
“No, but I plan to be.” She took a big swallow of her martini. “My point was you’re so damned perfect, I should hate you, but here I am taking your side. You should be grateful. And maybe buy me a diamond or something.”
Liz had barely sipped her own drink, but her head was spinning. “I’m not perfect.”
Pia rolled her eyes. “As if that’s true. Look at you. You were gorgeous in high school, and now you’re even more beautiful. Worse, you don’t seem to notice. It’s not like you go out of your way to be attractive. It just happens. Have you ever seen me in the morning? No. Well, let me just say without some serious work, I can’t walk out of the house. I would scar small children for life.”
Liz didn’t know if she should laugh or run for her life. “You’re insane.”
“Maybe, but it’s true. Even more horrible, you’re smart. Everyone knows it. Back in school, the teachers always talked about you. ‘Why can’t you be smart and dedicated like Liz?’” she repeated in a mocking tone. Pia took another sip. “You ruined it for all of us.”
Now Liz couldn’t help laughing. “I did not.”
“Ya huh. You so did. And now. Look at you. You’re a famous mystery-thriller writer person. You’ve got that damn scholarship in your name at the stupid community college. You have a great kid. What do I have? A cat who doesn’t even like me and three dead house-plants.”
Pia looked miserable and defiant and slightly tipsy. Liz took her free hand and squeezed her fingers. “I’m not all that, and you have so much more than you listed. You have a great job and a community and people who love you. Crystal loved you.”
Pia wiped tears from her face. “She did and she was great. But you have character and I never did.”
Liz kept a hold on her fingers. “You have enough character for all of us. Trust me.”
Pia’s wide eyes filled with tears again. “You promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
ETHAN PUNCHED THE BUTTON TO increase the incline on the elliptical. It was midafternoon and the gym was quiet. A few high school guys worked out with the free weights and there was a yoga class going on in the glass-enclosed area at the far end of the building.
“This is how girls work out,” Ethan grumbled as he wiped away sweat.
Josh grinned at him. “We could have gone bike riding.”
“I didn’t have time. Unlike you, I work for a living.”
“I work,” Josh protested. “Not very hard, but I work.”
His friend had called to suggest they head to the gym together. They’d briefly discussed a thirty-mile bike ride, but Ethan had meetings later that afternoon. As much as he would have enjoyed the mountainous route, it would have to wait for another day.
“Maybe this weekend,” Josh suggested. “If you’re not too busy with Tyler.”
“Why are you free on the weekend?” Ethan knew his friend, a recent newlywed, spent every free second with his wife.
“Charity and Mayor Marsha are going to San Francisco to shop for the baby’s room.”
Ethan grinned. “You don’t want a say in colors and accessories?”
Josh shuddered visibly. “No, thanks. I just want the baby to be healthy.”
“And a boy.”
Josh chuckled. “I wouldn’t say no to a boy. But we’re waiting to find out. Charity wants to be surprised.”
Ethan felt the burn in his legs and increased the pace of his workout. “You scared?” he asked.
Josh shrugged, then nodded. “Sometimes. When I think about it. What do I know about being a father?”
Ethan could relate to that. The difference was Josh got to start small—with a newborn. Of course a baby was a whole different set of worries.
“I know what you mean,” he said.
“How’s it going with Tyler?”
“Good. Great. He’s bright and funny. Athletic.”
“You see yourself in him?”
“Yeah, but there’s a lot of Liz, too.”
“Is that bad?” Josh asked.
“Sometimes,” Ethan admitted, wiping away sweat. “I’m dealing, not that I have a choice. But when I think too much about what she did…” He grabbed his water bottle and swallowed several gulps.
Going there, getting riled up, accomplished nothing, Ethan reminded himself. It was a waste of time and energy.
“She speaking to you?” Josh inquired.
“Sure. Why?”
“The injunction. I would have figured she’d come after you with something sharp.”
“She wasn’t happy,” he commented. “I reacted. It wasn’t smart. But it’s done now.”
“Can’t you undo it?”
Ethan thought about the judge. She didn’t seem like the type of person who would support him changing his mind. And he wasn’t willing to test the theory and risk jail time.
“We’ll figure out a plan,” he declared.
“Charity said Pia told her Liz came back as soon as she found out she was pregnant. But you were other wise engaged.”
“I was asleep,” Ethan protested.
“With Pia in your bed.”
“Still.”
Josh grabbed a towel and wiped his face. “Sorry to tell you this, but Liz pretty much gets a pass. She left town because you threw her under the bus and then you were in bed with another woman when she came back to tell you about the baby. There’s no way you’re the good guy.”
“She kept my kid from me. Nothing excuses that.” No matter what, Ethan had lost something unrecoverable.
“I’m not saying it’s an excuse. I’m saying you’re not blameless.”
“Maybe.” He didn’t want to think about that. “Everything would have been different if she’d stuck around. Woken me up. Hit me with something.”
“That’s not her way.”
“You know this how?” Ethan asked.
“She left. She was hurt and she went quietly. You might not want to admit it, but from what I can see, she did a hell of a job with her kid.”
“I know.” He had no complaints about Liz as a mother to his son.
“Maybe she’s not the one you’re mad at,” Josh guessed.
Ethan’s legs ached, his muscles shook slightly with the effort of his workout. He pushed harder, not wanting to hear his friend’s words, let alone think about them. Then the machine beeped, indicating his thirty-minute program had ended. He slowed reluctantly.
“Sure Liz didn’t tell you when she first found out,” Josh continued. “But the real tough one is that she came back.”
Ethan stepped off the machine and grabbed his towel. “Thanks for the update.”
Josh ignored that. “Rayanne kept the truth from you. She was your wife. You should have been able to trust her more than anyone. You did trust her.”
Ethan started to turn on his friend only to remember that Josh had also been betrayed by a woman. Big time. Maybe he knew what he was talking about.
“She felt threatened,” Ethan admitted, reaching for his water. “She was pregnant when we got married.”
“I figured,” Josh told him.
Ethan raised his eyebrows.
“Come on,” Josh said, spraying down the handles of the machine and wiping them off, then handing the disinfectant to Ethan. “She was never your type. I couldn’t figure out how you two got together at all.”
“I came up for air and she was there,” Ethan detailed. “I’d been working hard, learning the business, starting with the windmills. I hadn’t had much time to date. One day Rayanne walked into the office and I was interested.”
He didn’t bother saying it wouldn’t have lasted. Bad enough to admit that to Liz. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he’d wanted her to know the truth. But no one else needed the information. Despite the circumstances, Rayanne had been his wife. She deserved his loyalty.
“She was only a few months along when Liz showed up,” he recounted. “I was out of town. I’m sure the news frightened her. I’d talked about Liz some, so she had a clue about how serious things had been. Or maybe she would have imagined the worst regardless. Plus knowing I already had a son might have scared her into thinking I wouldn’t care as much about our baby.”
At least that was his assumption. He’d only been able to look at things from his perspective. Rayanne wasn’t around to ask.
He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Wanted to believe the best of her, but the bottom line was, she’d kept her secret until the very end. Even when they’d both known she was dying, she hadn’t told him about Tyler. That was a tough thing to forgive.
“You’re still pissed,” Josh pointed out.
“Sometimes.”
“Does it ever occur to you that because you can’t get things right with Rayanne that you’re taking out all of it on Liz?”
Ethan stared at his friend. “What are you talking about?”
Josh shrugged. “I’m just saying that sure, Liz has some blame in all this, but so do you and so does Rayanne. Only Rayanne’s not here. Being mad at the dead never plays well, even to ourselves. So what are you left with? Liz.”
Ethan finished his bottle of water and tossed the empty container into the recycling bin, then dropped his towel across his shoulder and headed for the locker room. Josh fell into step beside him.
They walked downstairs and pushed through the swinging door. His friend’s words made sense, which fried his ass.
“When did you get all insightful?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” Josh admitted.
“I don’t like it.”
“Me, either. Makes me feel like a girl. Don’t tell anyone.”
SATURDAY DAWNED AS HOT AS THE rest of the week had been. By ten, it was close to eighty-five degrees. The air conditioning in the old house was questionable at best, which meant it was on the repair list. But so far, the subcontractor hadn’t shown up. Something Liz would discuss with Ethan the next time she saw him. In the meantime, she had three kids to deal with.
“I have to do something. I guess I should really be grateful she only left me the cat. She had those embryos. I don’t know what arrangements she made for them.”
Liz hadn’t thought about that, but it made sense. Crystal would be concerned about her unborn children. “That would be a lot of responsibility,” she conceded quietly.
“Figuring out what to do with them?” Pia asked.
“Sure. Implied in the gift is the request to have the babies, then raise them.”
“I’m glad it’s not me,” Pia noted. “A cat is about all I could handle. I’m not very maternal.”
“You don’t know until you try.”
“I have trouble keeping plants alive. I don’t really do the nurturing thing.”
Liz shook her head. “Do you think I was prepared to have Tyler? You do what’s required. At first it’s hard, but then it gets easier.”
“I need a drink,” Pia muttered. “Let’s go see what Jo’s pouring.”
They made their way to the bar. Before they reached it, an older woman paused to glare at Liz.
She felt a sinking sensation in her stomach and wondered if she could escape out the back way. But before the plan formed, the woman spoke.
“You should have married him,” the older woman snapped, her eyes nearly as blue as her hair. A shapeless floral print dress hung past her knees and her sensible shoes gave her an extra inch of height. “It’s disgraceful. In my generation, if a girl got pregnant, she married the father of her child. Now young people have sex and don’t worry about the consequences.”
Liz opened her mouth, then closed it. What was there to say? Her mind was totally blank, except for the continual chanting of “Anywhere but here.”
Pia stepped in front of her and waved her index finger at the woman. “Back off, Esmeralda. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Liz was a kid. If you’re so concerned about what’s right, why didn’t you step in back then? Why didn’t you talk like this to Liz’s mother? Everyone knew what was happening at her house. Where was your moral code then?”
Esmeralda pressed her thin lips together. “Well, I never.”
“Now you have,” Pia declared firmly. “This is my friend’s wake. Do you really think Crystal would want you talking like this here?”
Liz, feeling all warm and fuzzy and supported, expected the older woman to snap back at Pia.
“You’re right,” Esmeralda said primly. She turned to Liz. “I apologize. For Crystal’s sake.”
“Thank you,” Liz acknowledged, stunned.
Pia linked arms with Liz and took her the rest of the way to the bar. “See? It’s not so bad here.”
“I can’t always count on you to rescue me.”
“I will if I’m there. And let me say for the record, that shows what an amazing person I am.”
Liz accepted the drink Jo passed her. “Because I don’t deserve you defending me?”
Pia took her drink, smiled her thanks, then turned back to Liz. “You walk really straight for someone with such a big chip on her shoulder. It’s impressive.”
Liz bristled. “I don’t have a chip.”
“Oh, please. It’s huge. The size of a small car. Which must make sleeping difficult.”
Liz narrowed her gaze. “Are you drunk?”
“No, but I plan to be.” She took a big swallow of her martini. “My point was you’re so damned perfect, I should hate you, but here I am taking your side. You should be grateful. And maybe buy me a diamond or something.”
Liz had barely sipped her own drink, but her head was spinning. “I’m not perfect.”
Pia rolled her eyes. “As if that’s true. Look at you. You were gorgeous in high school, and now you’re even more beautiful. Worse, you don’t seem to notice. It’s not like you go out of your way to be attractive. It just happens. Have you ever seen me in the morning? No. Well, let me just say without some serious work, I can’t walk out of the house. I would scar small children for life.”
Liz didn’t know if she should laugh or run for her life. “You’re insane.”
“Maybe, but it’s true. Even more horrible, you’re smart. Everyone knows it. Back in school, the teachers always talked about you. ‘Why can’t you be smart and dedicated like Liz?’” she repeated in a mocking tone. Pia took another sip. “You ruined it for all of us.”
Now Liz couldn’t help laughing. “I did not.”
“Ya huh. You so did. And now. Look at you. You’re a famous mystery-thriller writer person. You’ve got that damn scholarship in your name at the stupid community college. You have a great kid. What do I have? A cat who doesn’t even like me and three dead house-plants.”
Pia looked miserable and defiant and slightly tipsy. Liz took her free hand and squeezed her fingers. “I’m not all that, and you have so much more than you listed. You have a great job and a community and people who love you. Crystal loved you.”
Pia wiped tears from her face. “She did and she was great. But you have character and I never did.”
Liz kept a hold on her fingers. “You have enough character for all of us. Trust me.”
Pia’s wide eyes filled with tears again. “You promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
ETHAN PUNCHED THE BUTTON TO increase the incline on the elliptical. It was midafternoon and the gym was quiet. A few high school guys worked out with the free weights and there was a yoga class going on in the glass-enclosed area at the far end of the building.
“This is how girls work out,” Ethan grumbled as he wiped away sweat.
Josh grinned at him. “We could have gone bike riding.”
“I didn’t have time. Unlike you, I work for a living.”
“I work,” Josh protested. “Not very hard, but I work.”
His friend had called to suggest they head to the gym together. They’d briefly discussed a thirty-mile bike ride, but Ethan had meetings later that afternoon. As much as he would have enjoyed the mountainous route, it would have to wait for another day.
“Maybe this weekend,” Josh suggested. “If you’re not too busy with Tyler.”
“Why are you free on the weekend?” Ethan knew his friend, a recent newlywed, spent every free second with his wife.
“Charity and Mayor Marsha are going to San Francisco to shop for the baby’s room.”
Ethan grinned. “You don’t want a say in colors and accessories?”
Josh shuddered visibly. “No, thanks. I just want the baby to be healthy.”
“And a boy.”
Josh chuckled. “I wouldn’t say no to a boy. But we’re waiting to find out. Charity wants to be surprised.”
Ethan felt the burn in his legs and increased the pace of his workout. “You scared?” he asked.
Josh shrugged, then nodded. “Sometimes. When I think about it. What do I know about being a father?”
Ethan could relate to that. The difference was Josh got to start small—with a newborn. Of course a baby was a whole different set of worries.
“I know what you mean,” he said.
“How’s it going with Tyler?”
“Good. Great. He’s bright and funny. Athletic.”
“You see yourself in him?”
“Yeah, but there’s a lot of Liz, too.”
“Is that bad?” Josh asked.
“Sometimes,” Ethan admitted, wiping away sweat. “I’m dealing, not that I have a choice. But when I think too much about what she did…” He grabbed his water bottle and swallowed several gulps.
Going there, getting riled up, accomplished nothing, Ethan reminded himself. It was a waste of time and energy.
“She speaking to you?” Josh inquired.
“Sure. Why?”
“The injunction. I would have figured she’d come after you with something sharp.”
“She wasn’t happy,” he commented. “I reacted. It wasn’t smart. But it’s done now.”
“Can’t you undo it?”
Ethan thought about the judge. She didn’t seem like the type of person who would support him changing his mind. And he wasn’t willing to test the theory and risk jail time.
“We’ll figure out a plan,” he declared.
“Charity said Pia told her Liz came back as soon as she found out she was pregnant. But you were other wise engaged.”
“I was asleep,” Ethan protested.
“With Pia in your bed.”
“Still.”
Josh grabbed a towel and wiped his face. “Sorry to tell you this, but Liz pretty much gets a pass. She left town because you threw her under the bus and then you were in bed with another woman when she came back to tell you about the baby. There’s no way you’re the good guy.”
“She kept my kid from me. Nothing excuses that.” No matter what, Ethan had lost something unrecoverable.
“I’m not saying it’s an excuse. I’m saying you’re not blameless.”
“Maybe.” He didn’t want to think about that. “Everything would have been different if she’d stuck around. Woken me up. Hit me with something.”
“That’s not her way.”
“You know this how?” Ethan asked.
“She left. She was hurt and she went quietly. You might not want to admit it, but from what I can see, she did a hell of a job with her kid.”
“I know.” He had no complaints about Liz as a mother to his son.
“Maybe she’s not the one you’re mad at,” Josh guessed.
Ethan’s legs ached, his muscles shook slightly with the effort of his workout. He pushed harder, not wanting to hear his friend’s words, let alone think about them. Then the machine beeped, indicating his thirty-minute program had ended. He slowed reluctantly.
“Sure Liz didn’t tell you when she first found out,” Josh continued. “But the real tough one is that she came back.”
Ethan stepped off the machine and grabbed his towel. “Thanks for the update.”
Josh ignored that. “Rayanne kept the truth from you. She was your wife. You should have been able to trust her more than anyone. You did trust her.”
Ethan started to turn on his friend only to remember that Josh had also been betrayed by a woman. Big time. Maybe he knew what he was talking about.
“She felt threatened,” Ethan admitted, reaching for his water. “She was pregnant when we got married.”
“I figured,” Josh told him.
Ethan raised his eyebrows.
“Come on,” Josh said, spraying down the handles of the machine and wiping them off, then handing the disinfectant to Ethan. “She was never your type. I couldn’t figure out how you two got together at all.”
“I came up for air and she was there,” Ethan detailed. “I’d been working hard, learning the business, starting with the windmills. I hadn’t had much time to date. One day Rayanne walked into the office and I was interested.”
He didn’t bother saying it wouldn’t have lasted. Bad enough to admit that to Liz. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he’d wanted her to know the truth. But no one else needed the information. Despite the circumstances, Rayanne had been his wife. She deserved his loyalty.
“She was only a few months along when Liz showed up,” he recounted. “I was out of town. I’m sure the news frightened her. I’d talked about Liz some, so she had a clue about how serious things had been. Or maybe she would have imagined the worst regardless. Plus knowing I already had a son might have scared her into thinking I wouldn’t care as much about our baby.”
At least that was his assumption. He’d only been able to look at things from his perspective. Rayanne wasn’t around to ask.
He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Wanted to believe the best of her, but the bottom line was, she’d kept her secret until the very end. Even when they’d both known she was dying, she hadn’t told him about Tyler. That was a tough thing to forgive.
“You’re still pissed,” Josh pointed out.
“Sometimes.”
“Does it ever occur to you that because you can’t get things right with Rayanne that you’re taking out all of it on Liz?”
Ethan stared at his friend. “What are you talking about?”
Josh shrugged. “I’m just saying that sure, Liz has some blame in all this, but so do you and so does Rayanne. Only Rayanne’s not here. Being mad at the dead never plays well, even to ourselves. So what are you left with? Liz.”
Ethan finished his bottle of water and tossed the empty container into the recycling bin, then dropped his towel across his shoulder and headed for the locker room. Josh fell into step beside him.
They walked downstairs and pushed through the swinging door. His friend’s words made sense, which fried his ass.
“When did you get all insightful?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” Josh admitted.
“I don’t like it.”
“Me, either. Makes me feel like a girl. Don’t tell anyone.”
SATURDAY DAWNED AS HOT AS THE rest of the week had been. By ten, it was close to eighty-five degrees. The air conditioning in the old house was questionable at best, which meant it was on the repair list. But so far, the subcontractor hadn’t shown up. Something Liz would discuss with Ethan the next time she saw him. In the meantime, she had three kids to deal with.
