Alpha Divided

Page 6

That wasn’t true at all and we both knew it. He laughed at me all the time. It was a good thing I didn’t take it personally. I poked his side.
“I laugh with you,” he said as he chuckled, and batted my finger away.
“Everything’s changed so quickly. I feel like I’m always racing to catch up.” My nerves wound tighter as I talked, which was why I’d been avoiding this discussion. “I want to hit pause for a bit. Enjoy this moment. Have some time to grow up.”
His fingers continued to run through my hair, soothing me. I swung my legs over his to get a little closer. I felt his smile through the bond—a jolt of pleasure because I wanted to be closer to him. It made Dastien happy, which settled my nerves a little more.
“No one said you have to have everything sorted tonight. We still have time to grow up, but we’ll grow up together. As a team.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “Don’t forget, I’m only two years older than you.”
“I know, but you feel a lot older.”
He laughed again. “Thanks?”
I slapped his stomach. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you always seem to have it all figured out.”
“I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m not a worrier. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to know how everything’s going to work out. It’s impossible.” He tugged on my hair a little, and I swatted his hand away.
The guy had a point, but that didn’t mean I’d stop worrying anytime soon.
I smelled the jasmine in Mom’s perfume a moment before she stepped onto the porch. She sat on the swing on my other side, careful not to touch me. It was still ingrained. Growing up, any brush of skin was enough to bombard me with flashes of thoughts and memories. Of everyone in the family, Mom had always been the best at controlling herself around me, mostly because she grew up with my grandmother—the source of my talent.
“So, what’s the ceremony like?”
Dastien’s hand found mine, and he squeezed, sending me his support.
“Well, there’s one every month. Apparently, everyone gets together and shifts and runs, but some pack business gets taken care of, too. Anything that changes the pack structure.” I hadn’t been sure I was going to go through with the ceremony until after I shifted. Since then, I’d finally had time to ask questions about the process. Dastien and Meredith had been pretty great about filling me in over the past couple of days.
The only part that I wasn’t too into was biting Dastien. Apparently, I had to eat a little bit of the flesh and blood of my mate—completely barbaric and disgusting. Dastien had done his part when he bit me, but I still had to return the favor.
Yuck.
I figured vague was best for the icky part. “We recite some words—kind of like marriage vows—and then it’s done. We shift and take an evening run.” I sat up, moving my legs from Dastien’s lap. “I know it’s a lot to accept, but Dad seems pretty not okay with the whole thing.”
She shrugged. “You’re still his baby. We figured we’d have years before we had anything like this come up, and that was if you could ever let someone get close to you.”
Yeah. I hadn’t been too sure about the whole being-able-to-have-a-boyfriend thing either. Before, it’d seemed like a long shot at best. “I don’t want to upset him.”
“He’s not upset.”
I sat up enough to look at her. “We both know he is.”
“One of the hardest things about being a parent is letting go,” Mom said. “We lost your brother to college this year, and that was hard, but very expected. We didn’t expect to lose you, too. Not like this.”
God. She made it sound like I was dying. “You’re not losing me.”
She brushed her hand across my forehead, sweeping a piece of hair behind my ear.
I was suddenly in my parents’ bedroom as a vision took hold.
“She’s my little girl. I don’t want her to grow up so fast,” Dad said. He wore the same clothes he was wearing today. Tears glistened in his eyes. “Can’t she wait?”
I jerked away from Mom’s touch. She was the only one with enough control to show me exactly what she wanted me to see and no more, but that I didn’t mean I wanted to see anything. It felt too intrusive.
“Is this where the party is?” Axel came out to the porch and handed me an ice-cold Diet Coke, breaking the tension. He was my savior when he wasn’t being a pain in my ass.
I popped the tab on the Coke, and took a long drink. I needed to consume more calories as a wolf, but I still liked diet sodas. I’d gotten used to the taste and regular Coke tasted wrong now.