Alpha Divided
Page 61
Daniel sighed. “She is who she is.”
“Yes. And you’re not responsible for that. She’s been going down this road since long before you were born. Don’t take it on yourself.”
Daniel blinked a few times, and nodded.
I turned away, wanting to give him privacy as Rosa pulled him into an embrace.
“Can I get anyone something to drink? Eat?” Rosa said as she closed the door behind us.
The most delicious scent hit me as I walked inside. My stomach growled. Even with all the extra food Mom had brought, I wasn’t eating enough. It was so much easier to eat more when it was just sitting there for me. “Whatever you’re making, I’ll take it.”
“You caught me at a good time. I just finished a batch of tamales.”
Oh my God. Mom never made Grams’ tamales. She said they took too long, but they were my favorite. No one made them like her. Chances were good that Rosa used the same recipe.
I walked into the kitchen. There were three plates filled with the corn-husk-wrapped goodness. I piled a clean plate high and started digging in. As I bit into the second one, I felt a little funny. I looked up from the plate to see everyone chatting in the living room, but it was like I wasn’t there anymore. The only one who saw me was Rosa.
Suddenly the afternoon was flying by. It was like everyone was moving really fast, and I was slow. Barely moving. Like watching a movie on fast-forward. I felt like I was totally out of my own body. I took a step and the world tilted.
I was going to be sick.
I stumbled my way to the bathroom, barely making it in time before I started booting. My sides ached. Cold sweat ran down my skin.
Christ. I thought Weres didn’t get sick. What was wrong with me? Something wasn’t right.
I lifted my head from the toilet and I was suddenly back in the kitchen.
I’d had a vision. Of the future.
I dropped the fork and stepped back from the plate on the counter. “What the hell is in these tamales, Rosa?”
Rosa had that same observant look. “I may have put a little poison in them. Bad stuff. Enough to incapacitate a Were.”
“What! Why would you do that and then offer them to me?” Had she lost her mind?
“Really, tia. What if one of us ate one?” Claudia said.
“If you had asked for one, I would’ve given you one that wouldn’t make you sick.” She gave a raspy laugh. “I wouldn’t go to all that trouble only to throw them all away. Tamales are hard to make. But I had to show Teresa how her gift worked.”
She could’ve done that without making me live through the experience of puking up tamales. And I didn’t see how making me sick would spark a vision. “I didn’t do anything but try to eat a tamale. Isn’t there some way that I can trigger visions when I actually want them? I need to figure out what Luciana is planning and why Rupert Hoel is hanging around.”
“There’s no controlling what you have. You have to trust that it’s there to guide you when you need it.”
I’d never considered myself an atheist. Mom had dragged me to church often enough that I believed in God. But in that moment, when I had to really trust that some higher power would give me a vision when I needed it, I wasn’t sure I had enough faith. “So, I really can’t do anything to spur them on?”
“No. I wish I could help you, but they come when they come.” She shrugged, and put on the glasses that hung around her neck. “As for the tamales, estos son muy bueno.” She grabbed the smaller plate. “Pero estos…no.” She upended the pile into the trash.
“Man, what a waste,” Raphael said.
“I proved my point. It wasn’t a waste.” She walked into the living room and I followed her. “The visions will never be what you want—completely controllable—but we can get to a place where you sense a vision coming on. That hint of a premonition can tell you if you’re making a wrong choice.”
“You mean I need to trust my gut.” That’s what Grams had said in her note. I’d been hoping for more, but maybe that was as good as it got.
“Yeah,” Daniel said as he stepped into the living room. “That’s not what I was taught at all. Mom’s always said they were controllable.”
“And you think your mother would really tell you the truth?”
Daniel looked at the ground and I felt sad for him. He hadn’t chosen to be born to her. It must be awful.
“I wanted you to come here so that you’d know that the magic you’re trying to do is inside you,” Rosa said to me. “You don’t need all the trappings. Especially now that you’re wolf as well as witch.” She looked at the other three brujas. “For that matter, none of you need all the trappings, but that’s something that Luciana and I always disagreed on. It’s one of the many reasons why I left.”
“Yes. And you’re not responsible for that. She’s been going down this road since long before you were born. Don’t take it on yourself.”
Daniel blinked a few times, and nodded.
I turned away, wanting to give him privacy as Rosa pulled him into an embrace.
“Can I get anyone something to drink? Eat?” Rosa said as she closed the door behind us.
The most delicious scent hit me as I walked inside. My stomach growled. Even with all the extra food Mom had brought, I wasn’t eating enough. It was so much easier to eat more when it was just sitting there for me. “Whatever you’re making, I’ll take it.”
“You caught me at a good time. I just finished a batch of tamales.”
Oh my God. Mom never made Grams’ tamales. She said they took too long, but they were my favorite. No one made them like her. Chances were good that Rosa used the same recipe.
I walked into the kitchen. There were three plates filled with the corn-husk-wrapped goodness. I piled a clean plate high and started digging in. As I bit into the second one, I felt a little funny. I looked up from the plate to see everyone chatting in the living room, but it was like I wasn’t there anymore. The only one who saw me was Rosa.
Suddenly the afternoon was flying by. It was like everyone was moving really fast, and I was slow. Barely moving. Like watching a movie on fast-forward. I felt like I was totally out of my own body. I took a step and the world tilted.
I was going to be sick.
I stumbled my way to the bathroom, barely making it in time before I started booting. My sides ached. Cold sweat ran down my skin.
Christ. I thought Weres didn’t get sick. What was wrong with me? Something wasn’t right.
I lifted my head from the toilet and I was suddenly back in the kitchen.
I’d had a vision. Of the future.
I dropped the fork and stepped back from the plate on the counter. “What the hell is in these tamales, Rosa?”
Rosa had that same observant look. “I may have put a little poison in them. Bad stuff. Enough to incapacitate a Were.”
“What! Why would you do that and then offer them to me?” Had she lost her mind?
“Really, tia. What if one of us ate one?” Claudia said.
“If you had asked for one, I would’ve given you one that wouldn’t make you sick.” She gave a raspy laugh. “I wouldn’t go to all that trouble only to throw them all away. Tamales are hard to make. But I had to show Teresa how her gift worked.”
She could’ve done that without making me live through the experience of puking up tamales. And I didn’t see how making me sick would spark a vision. “I didn’t do anything but try to eat a tamale. Isn’t there some way that I can trigger visions when I actually want them? I need to figure out what Luciana is planning and why Rupert Hoel is hanging around.”
“There’s no controlling what you have. You have to trust that it’s there to guide you when you need it.”
I’d never considered myself an atheist. Mom had dragged me to church often enough that I believed in God. But in that moment, when I had to really trust that some higher power would give me a vision when I needed it, I wasn’t sure I had enough faith. “So, I really can’t do anything to spur them on?”
“No. I wish I could help you, but they come when they come.” She shrugged, and put on the glasses that hung around her neck. “As for the tamales, estos son muy bueno.” She grabbed the smaller plate. “Pero estos…no.” She upended the pile into the trash.
“Man, what a waste,” Raphael said.
“I proved my point. It wasn’t a waste.” She walked into the living room and I followed her. “The visions will never be what you want—completely controllable—but we can get to a place where you sense a vision coming on. That hint of a premonition can tell you if you’re making a wrong choice.”
“You mean I need to trust my gut.” That’s what Grams had said in her note. I’d been hoping for more, but maybe that was as good as it got.
“Yeah,” Daniel said as he stepped into the living room. “That’s not what I was taught at all. Mom’s always said they were controllable.”
“And you think your mother would really tell you the truth?”
Daniel looked at the ground and I felt sad for him. He hadn’t chosen to be born to her. It must be awful.
“I wanted you to come here so that you’d know that the magic you’re trying to do is inside you,” Rosa said to me. “You don’t need all the trappings. Especially now that you’re wolf as well as witch.” She looked at the other three brujas. “For that matter, none of you need all the trappings, but that’s something that Luciana and I always disagreed on. It’s one of the many reasons why I left.”
