An Artificial Night
Page 61
Andrew pulled his thumb out of his mouth. “Okay.” Letting go of my sweater, he took May’s hand. Jessica watched with panic in her eyes. When she turned back to me, she was shivering.
“I don’t want to go without you,” she said.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” I said, leaning out of the car and hugging her. “I know you’re scared, but once May takes you to your parents, you’ll be safe.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. He can’t hurt you anymore, because I beat him. You’re safe. So go with May now, okay?”
“Okay.” She paused, and frowned with an almost frightening intensity. “Aunt Birdie?”
“Yeah?”
“You got us out, and that’s good, but now you need to get you out, too.” She pulled back and walked to May before I could say anything, intensity smoothing into an unnatural calm as she looked up at my Fetch. “I want to go home now, please.”
Andrew nodded. “Home.”
“Okay, kids. You got it.” May took their hands, glancing at me as she led them toward the front door. I watched until I was sure nothing would leap out of the bushes to attack them and then turned away. I didn’t want to see them go inside. My farewells were already said, and there was nothing I could do to take them back.
I looked up when I felt Connor’s hand on my shoulder. He was standing next to the car, expression schooled into something almost neutral. “Hey,” he said. “You okay?”
Of course I was okay. Isn’t everyone okay when they’ve got their death hanging out with them, constantly pointing out that their time is running short? “Peachy,” I said, looking away as I blinked back tears.
He frowned. “You can cry, you know. No one’s going to judge you for it.”
I eyed him. “You know that’s not a good idea.”
“I was just offering.”
“I know. I’m trying to stay mad. Whatever kills me,” he flinched, but I continued, “it’s going to have to fight for it. I refuse to go down easy.”
“You don’t have to die!” he protested. “I’ll protect you!”
I snorted. “Get real, Connor. You couldn’t protect your way out of a paper bag. You’re a great guy, but you’re not a fighter, and you never have been. You can’t save me. If you’re lucky, you’ll save yourself.”
“If I’m lucky? Being lucky means I get to live knowing that I let you die?” His tone was brisk and bitter. “No. I don’t think so.” Shoulders tense, he turned and walked toward the car.
“Connor—”
“No, don’t. It’s not worth it. You’re going to die, and I’m just the guy who gets to watch, because you won’t even let me try to stop it. Whatever my lady wishes.” He got into the driver’s seat, resting his head against the wheel. Raj looked out the window, frowning, and I shook my head. I couldn’t explain.
Damn it. Connor knew as well as I did that I was being practical, not unfair. There’s a hierarchy of power in Faerie, and Selkies barely even register. Almost all the magic they have is in their skins. Blind Michael would chew Connor up and throw him aside without slowing down, and I’d go to my grave with another death on my conscience. Was I hurting Connor by refusing to let him help? Yes. Was I doing it because I cared about him too much to make him a speed bump on the road to my own demise?
Yes. Whether he believed me or not, yes. Oak and ash, why can’t anything ever stay simple? I stayed where I was, closing my eyes, and didn’t even flinch when May put her hands on my shoulders, saying, “I know it’s hard, but it’ll be over soon.”
I couldn’t tell whether that was supposed to be a promise or a threat. I opened my eyes and pulled away, muttering, “Great,” as I moved toward the car. Spike bounded out of the yard and tagged along at my heels, chirping. “How’s Stacy?”
“Happy, but worried about Karen.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That Karen was with Lily, and I’d let her know as soon as there was news.”
I nodded. “And did she . . . ?”
“Realize I’m not you? No. Why should she? As long as the kids keep quiet, she’ll never know.” She sighed. “You’d never have gotten away with that if she wasn’t so stressed.”
“I know,” I said, stooping to pick Spike up and cradle it against my shoulder. “We need to get Tybalt’s kids to the Court of Cats. Connor’s gonna drive.”
“Works for me.” May shrugged and climbed into the back, nudging Raj. “Move it, kid.”
Raj gave her a sharp look and turned to me, demanding, “Are you taking us home now?”
“Yes. It’s time.” I got into the car, closing the door before I said, “Connor?”
He lifted his head off the steering wheel, expression bleak. “Yes?”
“Can you take us to Golden Gate Park, please?”
“Oh, sure. Can I get you anything else while I’m at it? My heart on a stick? The moon and stars for your funeral gown?” He released the parking brake and started the engine.
“Don’t be like that.”
“Don’t be like what? All you’ve left for me to do is bury you.”
“Connor—”
“If you’ve ever given a damn about me, Toby, just do me a favor and shut up.”
I fell silent. There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the words to make them come out right. Neither of us spoke for the rest of the drive. Even Spike huddled silently in my lap, occasionally rattling its thorns in distress.
The kids were in better spirits. Only the Cait Sidhe were left, and they knew they were going home. The noise didn’t bother me—they kept it mostly to themselves, trying not to intrude on the cloud of gloom that covered the front seat, and when they got out of control, Raj settled them down again by means of occasional cuffs and snarls. I didn’t intervene.
The Court of Cats is different than the other Courts of Faerie. Tybalt was the current King of the Bay Area, but someday that would change; someday, he’d be replaced, and Raj was the most likely heir. The King of Cats must be dominant in every way. He’s the one who gets the greatest share of every kill, first pick of the women, and the finest of all the Cait Sidhe have to offer, but he’s also the one who protects the Court. Cats won’t obey the weak: to be King, you must be cunning, clever, and strong. Fear matters as much as respect, and if Raj was going to be King, he’d need the loyalty of his peers. That was the glue that would cement his throne.
“I don’t want to go without you,” she said.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” I said, leaning out of the car and hugging her. “I know you’re scared, but once May takes you to your parents, you’ll be safe.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. He can’t hurt you anymore, because I beat him. You’re safe. So go with May now, okay?”
“Okay.” She paused, and frowned with an almost frightening intensity. “Aunt Birdie?”
“Yeah?”
“You got us out, and that’s good, but now you need to get you out, too.” She pulled back and walked to May before I could say anything, intensity smoothing into an unnatural calm as she looked up at my Fetch. “I want to go home now, please.”
Andrew nodded. “Home.”
“Okay, kids. You got it.” May took their hands, glancing at me as she led them toward the front door. I watched until I was sure nothing would leap out of the bushes to attack them and then turned away. I didn’t want to see them go inside. My farewells were already said, and there was nothing I could do to take them back.
I looked up when I felt Connor’s hand on my shoulder. He was standing next to the car, expression schooled into something almost neutral. “Hey,” he said. “You okay?”
Of course I was okay. Isn’t everyone okay when they’ve got their death hanging out with them, constantly pointing out that their time is running short? “Peachy,” I said, looking away as I blinked back tears.
He frowned. “You can cry, you know. No one’s going to judge you for it.”
I eyed him. “You know that’s not a good idea.”
“I was just offering.”
“I know. I’m trying to stay mad. Whatever kills me,” he flinched, but I continued, “it’s going to have to fight for it. I refuse to go down easy.”
“You don’t have to die!” he protested. “I’ll protect you!”
I snorted. “Get real, Connor. You couldn’t protect your way out of a paper bag. You’re a great guy, but you’re not a fighter, and you never have been. You can’t save me. If you’re lucky, you’ll save yourself.”
“If I’m lucky? Being lucky means I get to live knowing that I let you die?” His tone was brisk and bitter. “No. I don’t think so.” Shoulders tense, he turned and walked toward the car.
“Connor—”
“No, don’t. It’s not worth it. You’re going to die, and I’m just the guy who gets to watch, because you won’t even let me try to stop it. Whatever my lady wishes.” He got into the driver’s seat, resting his head against the wheel. Raj looked out the window, frowning, and I shook my head. I couldn’t explain.
Damn it. Connor knew as well as I did that I was being practical, not unfair. There’s a hierarchy of power in Faerie, and Selkies barely even register. Almost all the magic they have is in their skins. Blind Michael would chew Connor up and throw him aside without slowing down, and I’d go to my grave with another death on my conscience. Was I hurting Connor by refusing to let him help? Yes. Was I doing it because I cared about him too much to make him a speed bump on the road to my own demise?
Yes. Whether he believed me or not, yes. Oak and ash, why can’t anything ever stay simple? I stayed where I was, closing my eyes, and didn’t even flinch when May put her hands on my shoulders, saying, “I know it’s hard, but it’ll be over soon.”
I couldn’t tell whether that was supposed to be a promise or a threat. I opened my eyes and pulled away, muttering, “Great,” as I moved toward the car. Spike bounded out of the yard and tagged along at my heels, chirping. “How’s Stacy?”
“Happy, but worried about Karen.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That Karen was with Lily, and I’d let her know as soon as there was news.”
I nodded. “And did she . . . ?”
“Realize I’m not you? No. Why should she? As long as the kids keep quiet, she’ll never know.” She sighed. “You’d never have gotten away with that if she wasn’t so stressed.”
“I know,” I said, stooping to pick Spike up and cradle it against my shoulder. “We need to get Tybalt’s kids to the Court of Cats. Connor’s gonna drive.”
“Works for me.” May shrugged and climbed into the back, nudging Raj. “Move it, kid.”
Raj gave her a sharp look and turned to me, demanding, “Are you taking us home now?”
“Yes. It’s time.” I got into the car, closing the door before I said, “Connor?”
He lifted his head off the steering wheel, expression bleak. “Yes?”
“Can you take us to Golden Gate Park, please?”
“Oh, sure. Can I get you anything else while I’m at it? My heart on a stick? The moon and stars for your funeral gown?” He released the parking brake and started the engine.
“Don’t be like that.”
“Don’t be like what? All you’ve left for me to do is bury you.”
“Connor—”
“If you’ve ever given a damn about me, Toby, just do me a favor and shut up.”
I fell silent. There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the words to make them come out right. Neither of us spoke for the rest of the drive. Even Spike huddled silently in my lap, occasionally rattling its thorns in distress.
The kids were in better spirits. Only the Cait Sidhe were left, and they knew they were going home. The noise didn’t bother me—they kept it mostly to themselves, trying not to intrude on the cloud of gloom that covered the front seat, and when they got out of control, Raj settled them down again by means of occasional cuffs and snarls. I didn’t intervene.
The Court of Cats is different than the other Courts of Faerie. Tybalt was the current King of the Bay Area, but someday that would change; someday, he’d be replaced, and Raj was the most likely heir. The King of Cats must be dominant in every way. He’s the one who gets the greatest share of every kill, first pick of the women, and the finest of all the Cait Sidhe have to offer, but he’s also the one who protects the Court. Cats won’t obey the weak: to be King, you must be cunning, clever, and strong. Fear matters as much as respect, and if Raj was going to be King, he’d need the loyalty of his peers. That was the glue that would cement his throne.
