An Artificial Night
Page 85
“Sure. I mean, except for the whole getting myself enslaved by a crazy Firstborn asshole who was planning to marry me at the end of the Ride part, this has almost been a vacation.” I shrugged. “How’s it been out here?”
“Karen woke up crying,” May said, voice suddenly flat. “Said your candle blew out. It’s a good thing she was with the Luidaeg. She would’ve scared the hell out of me.”
“He locked the roads after he took you. No one got in, no one got out.” Tybalt kept looking at me with that same blank expression. “Every route we tried to reach his lands was blocked. All we could do was wait until the Ride came down and take you on the road.”
“So, like, sorry about the whole abandoning you thing,” May finished.
I shook my head. “Pretty sure you can’t abandon me, May, being as you’re my Fetch and everything. But . . . I appreciate what you did.” I appreciate skirted the absolute edges of propriety, almost crossing the line into thank you. If it bothered either of them, they didn’t show it. A brief silence fell between us. I glanced around the circle, taking one more look at the small clusters that had formed as grateful parents kept their children close. More and more of them were beginning to don their human disguises, anticipating the moment when the Luidaeg would drop the circle and let them go. As I should probably have expected, Amandine was nowhere to be seen.
“You’d think Mom might have shown up,” I said, as lightly as I could manage. “Saving the life of her only daughter and everything. It could’ve been a bonding experience.”
“Sadly, Amandine has disappeared again,” said Tybalt, scowling. “Her tower is sealed.”
“Because that’s a big surprise.” Mom has spent more and more time vanishing into the deeper parts of the Summerlands since she decided to go crazy. I have no idea what she does there. It definitely doesn’t include sending postcards home.
Connor stepped up beside me, taking my elbow. “If you could all get your disguises on, the Luidaeg says she’s about to drop the circle,” he said. “Toby, May, Luna wanted me to inform you that you’ll be riding back to Shadowed Hills with us. Sylvester wants to see you. Toby, can I see you for a second?”
“Sure,” I said, and let him guide me away.
He tugged me to a spot on the far side of the circle, as far away as the ring of light would allow, and released my elbow in order to cup my face in both hands. His eyes were red. He’d clearly been crying.
“I thought—”
“You thought wrong.” I reached up, wrapping my fingers around his wrists and holding his hands in place. “Didn’t I tell you I’d come home? Sometimes it just takes a little while. And hey, two months isn’t even a patch on fourteen years.”
Connor laughed unsteadily. “Can we not make this a competition?”
“I’d win.”
“That’s why we can’t do it.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine, still cupping my face with his hands. “Are you okay? Are you really okay?”
How was I supposed to answer that? No, I wasn’t okay. I was a long, long way from okay. I felt violated. I felt like someone had managed to leave stains on the inside of my skin, and my vision kept blurring around the edges, like it was trying to fragment. Blind Michael had something special planned for me, and his hooks were still sunk deep.
I pulled away from him, releasing his hands. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m good.”
He looked uncertain, but he didn’t argue. There was too much to do. Some of the kids hadn’t worn a human disguise in so long that they didn’t know how to craft one anymore, and the chaos that started as their parents attempted to walk them through the process gave me the room I needed to retreat, well away from anyone who would ask me uncomfortable questions, and start getting my own disguise on. Maybe the long pause had been good for my magic, because it felt like my illusion came together more easily than normal. It only took a few minutes for me to wrap myself in a facade of mortality.
I was one of the last. Almost as soon as my illusion finished settling into place the Luidaeg lowered her hands, and the circle collapsed. The last thin layer of unreality between us and the mortal night fell away with it, and the sounds and smells of a San Francisco Halloween surged in. It should have been a comfort, but it wasn’t, and I felt myself go cold.
It didn’t feel like home.
“End of the line, kids,” said the Luidaeg, stepping up next to me and looking across the crowd. “All of you, go the fuck home. Set the wards and use the spells I taught you. It may take a while, but they’ll come clean.” Some of the parents started to murmur, and a few cautious, questioning hands were raised. The Luidaeg scowled. “Do I look like a fucking advice column? Get out of here.”
That was enough to convince even the most die-hard worriers that they had better places to be. The crowd started to disperse, scattering in all directions. I looked at the Luidaeg. She was close enough that I could see the hairline cracks in her human shell, the places where the strangeness was bleeding through. For the first time, she wasn’t succeeding in hiding her nature, and that was frightening. Blind Michael was stronger than she was.
“Luidaeg?”
She shook her head. “Not yet, Toby. Soon, but not yet. I’m taking the human girl; I might be able to do something for her. Go on back to Shadowed Hills and figure out what you’re going to do now.”
I chuckled bitterly. “You mean beyond never sleeping again?”
“You got there by the light of the candle, but you didn’t get back that way.” She leaned forward, voice soft as she said, “He isn’t letting go that easily.” Then she was standing up straight, turning to stride across the circle with long, ground-eating steps. I stared after her, and when Luna came to take my elbow and guide me toward the parking lot, I didn’t fight.
They’d rented a small bus to get everyone to Golden Gate Park and back to Pleasant Hill afterward. Cassandra climbed into the driver’s seat, which made a lot of sense; other than myself and Connor, I wasn’t certain anyone else in the crowd had a license, and I was in no condition to drive. Half the kids were asleep before we’d even reached the freeway, collapsed bonelessly against their parents.
I wound up between Connor and Tybalt. They kept glaring at each other over the top of my head. I had a pretty good idea of why, but I didn’t want to deal with it; I closed my eyes instead, pulling my cloak tight and melting back into the seat. It all felt like the setup for a bad joke. Purebloods, changelings, a Fetch, and the Duchess of Shadowed Hills are in a bus headed for the East Bay ...
“Karen woke up crying,” May said, voice suddenly flat. “Said your candle blew out. It’s a good thing she was with the Luidaeg. She would’ve scared the hell out of me.”
“He locked the roads after he took you. No one got in, no one got out.” Tybalt kept looking at me with that same blank expression. “Every route we tried to reach his lands was blocked. All we could do was wait until the Ride came down and take you on the road.”
“So, like, sorry about the whole abandoning you thing,” May finished.
I shook my head. “Pretty sure you can’t abandon me, May, being as you’re my Fetch and everything. But . . . I appreciate what you did.” I appreciate skirted the absolute edges of propriety, almost crossing the line into thank you. If it bothered either of them, they didn’t show it. A brief silence fell between us. I glanced around the circle, taking one more look at the small clusters that had formed as grateful parents kept their children close. More and more of them were beginning to don their human disguises, anticipating the moment when the Luidaeg would drop the circle and let them go. As I should probably have expected, Amandine was nowhere to be seen.
“You’d think Mom might have shown up,” I said, as lightly as I could manage. “Saving the life of her only daughter and everything. It could’ve been a bonding experience.”
“Sadly, Amandine has disappeared again,” said Tybalt, scowling. “Her tower is sealed.”
“Because that’s a big surprise.” Mom has spent more and more time vanishing into the deeper parts of the Summerlands since she decided to go crazy. I have no idea what she does there. It definitely doesn’t include sending postcards home.
Connor stepped up beside me, taking my elbow. “If you could all get your disguises on, the Luidaeg says she’s about to drop the circle,” he said. “Toby, May, Luna wanted me to inform you that you’ll be riding back to Shadowed Hills with us. Sylvester wants to see you. Toby, can I see you for a second?”
“Sure,” I said, and let him guide me away.
He tugged me to a spot on the far side of the circle, as far away as the ring of light would allow, and released my elbow in order to cup my face in both hands. His eyes were red. He’d clearly been crying.
“I thought—”
“You thought wrong.” I reached up, wrapping my fingers around his wrists and holding his hands in place. “Didn’t I tell you I’d come home? Sometimes it just takes a little while. And hey, two months isn’t even a patch on fourteen years.”
Connor laughed unsteadily. “Can we not make this a competition?”
“I’d win.”
“That’s why we can’t do it.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine, still cupping my face with his hands. “Are you okay? Are you really okay?”
How was I supposed to answer that? No, I wasn’t okay. I was a long, long way from okay. I felt violated. I felt like someone had managed to leave stains on the inside of my skin, and my vision kept blurring around the edges, like it was trying to fragment. Blind Michael had something special planned for me, and his hooks were still sunk deep.
I pulled away from him, releasing his hands. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m good.”
He looked uncertain, but he didn’t argue. There was too much to do. Some of the kids hadn’t worn a human disguise in so long that they didn’t know how to craft one anymore, and the chaos that started as their parents attempted to walk them through the process gave me the room I needed to retreat, well away from anyone who would ask me uncomfortable questions, and start getting my own disguise on. Maybe the long pause had been good for my magic, because it felt like my illusion came together more easily than normal. It only took a few minutes for me to wrap myself in a facade of mortality.
I was one of the last. Almost as soon as my illusion finished settling into place the Luidaeg lowered her hands, and the circle collapsed. The last thin layer of unreality between us and the mortal night fell away with it, and the sounds and smells of a San Francisco Halloween surged in. It should have been a comfort, but it wasn’t, and I felt myself go cold.
It didn’t feel like home.
“End of the line, kids,” said the Luidaeg, stepping up next to me and looking across the crowd. “All of you, go the fuck home. Set the wards and use the spells I taught you. It may take a while, but they’ll come clean.” Some of the parents started to murmur, and a few cautious, questioning hands were raised. The Luidaeg scowled. “Do I look like a fucking advice column? Get out of here.”
That was enough to convince even the most die-hard worriers that they had better places to be. The crowd started to disperse, scattering in all directions. I looked at the Luidaeg. She was close enough that I could see the hairline cracks in her human shell, the places where the strangeness was bleeding through. For the first time, she wasn’t succeeding in hiding her nature, and that was frightening. Blind Michael was stronger than she was.
“Luidaeg?”
She shook her head. “Not yet, Toby. Soon, but not yet. I’m taking the human girl; I might be able to do something for her. Go on back to Shadowed Hills and figure out what you’re going to do now.”
I chuckled bitterly. “You mean beyond never sleeping again?”
“You got there by the light of the candle, but you didn’t get back that way.” She leaned forward, voice soft as she said, “He isn’t letting go that easily.” Then she was standing up straight, turning to stride across the circle with long, ground-eating steps. I stared after her, and when Luna came to take my elbow and guide me toward the parking lot, I didn’t fight.
They’d rented a small bus to get everyone to Golden Gate Park and back to Pleasant Hill afterward. Cassandra climbed into the driver’s seat, which made a lot of sense; other than myself and Connor, I wasn’t certain anyone else in the crowd had a license, and I was in no condition to drive. Half the kids were asleep before we’d even reached the freeway, collapsed bonelessly against their parents.
I wound up between Connor and Tybalt. They kept glaring at each other over the top of my head. I had a pretty good idea of why, but I didn’t want to deal with it; I closed my eyes instead, pulling my cloak tight and melting back into the seat. It all felt like the setup for a bad joke. Purebloods, changelings, a Fetch, and the Duchess of Shadowed Hills are in a bus headed for the East Bay ...
