An Ember in the Ashes
Page 53
Izzi nods, then offers me a basket for the sand and hurries away. When I stand, my vision swoops. I wrap a scarf around my neck to cover the K and lurch from my room.
Every step is pain, every ounce of weight pulls at the wound, making me lightheaded and nauseous. Unwillingly, my mind flashes back to the single-minded concentration on the Commandant’s face as she cut into me. She is a connoisseur of pain the way others are connoisseurs of wine. She took her time with me—and that made it so much worse.
I move to the back of the house with excruciating slowness. By the time I reach the cliff path that leads down to the dunes, my whole body shakes.
Hopelessness steals over me. How can I help Darin if I can’t even walk? How can I spy if my every attempt is punished like this?
You can’t save him because you won’t survive the Commandant much longer.
My doubts rise insidiously from the soil of my mind like creeping, choking vines. That will be the end of you and your family. Crushed from existence like so many others.
The trail twists and turns back on itself, treacherous as the shifting dunes.
A hot wind blows into my face, forcing tears from my eyes before I can stop them, until I can hardly see where I am going. At the base of the cliffs, I fall to the sand. My sobs echo in this empty place, but I don’t care. There is no one to hear me.
My life in the Scholar’s Quarter was never easy—sometimes it was horrible, like when my friend Zara was taken, or when Darin and I rose and slept with the ache of hunger in our bellies. Like all Scholars, I learned to lower my eyes before the Martials, but at least I never had to bow and scrape before them.
At least my life was free of this torment, this waiting, always, for more pain. I had Nan and Pop, who protected me from far more than I ever realized. I had Darin, who loomed so large in my life that I thought him immortal as the stars.
Gone now. All of them. Lis with her laughing eyes, so vivid in my mind that it seems impossible that she’s been dead twelve years. My parents, who wanted so badly to free the Scholars but who only managed to get themselves killed.
Gone, like everyone else. Leaving me here, alone.
Shadows emerge from the sand, circling me. Ghuls. They feed off sorrow and sadness and the stink of blood.
One of them screams, startling me into dropping the basket. The sound is eerily familiar.
“Mercy!” They mock in a multilayered, high-pitched voice. “Please, have mercy!”
I clap my hands over my ears, recognizing my own voice in theirs, my pleas to the Commandant. How did they know? How did they hear?
The shadows titter and circle. One, braver than the rest, nips at my leg, teeth flashing. A chill pierces my skin, and I cry out.
“Stop!”
The ghuls cackle and parrot my plea. “Stop! Stop!”
If only I had a scim, a knife—something to scare them off, the way Spiro Teluman did. But I have nothing, so I try instead to stagger away, only to run straight into a wall.
At least that’s what it feels like. It takes me a moment to realize that it’s not a wall, but a person. A tall person, broad-shouldered and muscled like a mountain cat.
I flinch back, losing my balance, and two big hands steady me. I look up and freeze when I find myself staring into familiar, pale gray eyes.
XX: Elias
The morning after the Trial, I wake before dawn, groggy from the sleeping draught I realize I’ve been doused with. My face is shaven, I’m clean, and someone’s changed me into fresh fatigues.
“Elias.” Cain emerges from the shadows of my room. His face is drawn, as if he’s been up all night. He holds up his hand at my instant barrage of questions.
“Aspirant Aquilla is in the very capable hands of Blackcliff’s physician,” he says. “If she’s meant to live, she will. The Augurs will not interfere, for we found nothing to indicate that the Farrars cheated. We have declared Marcus the winner of the First Trial. He has been given a prize of a dagger and—”
“What?”
“He returned first—”
“Because he cheated—”
The door opens, and Zak limps in. I reach for the blade Grandfather left at my bedside. Before I can fling it at the Toad, Cain is between us. I get up and quickly stuff my feet into my boots—I won’t be caught lounging on a bed while this filth is within ten feet of me.
Cain steeples his bloodless fingers and examines Zak. “You have something to say.”
“You should heal her.” Veins stand out in Zak’s neck, and he shakes his head like a wet dog ridding itself of water. “Stop it!” he says to the Augur.
“Stop trying to get in my head. Just heal her, all right?”
“Feeling guilty, you ass?” I try to shove past Cain, but the Augur blocks me with surprising swiftness.
“I’m not saying we cheated.” Zak looks quickly at Cain. “I’m saying you should heal her. Here.”
Cain’s whole body goes still as he fixates on Zak. The air shifts and grows heavy. The Augur is reading him. I can feel it.
“You and Marcus found each other.” Cain furrows his brow. “You were...led to each other...but not by one of the Augurs. Nor by the Commandant.”
The Augur closes his eyes, as if listening harder, before opening them.
“Well?” I ask. “What did you see?”
“Enough to convince me that the Augurs must heal Aspirant Aquilla. But not enough to convince me that the Farrars commited sabotage.”
“Why can’t you just look into Zak’s mind like you do everyone else’s and—”
Every step is pain, every ounce of weight pulls at the wound, making me lightheaded and nauseous. Unwillingly, my mind flashes back to the single-minded concentration on the Commandant’s face as she cut into me. She is a connoisseur of pain the way others are connoisseurs of wine. She took her time with me—and that made it so much worse.
I move to the back of the house with excruciating slowness. By the time I reach the cliff path that leads down to the dunes, my whole body shakes.
Hopelessness steals over me. How can I help Darin if I can’t even walk? How can I spy if my every attempt is punished like this?
You can’t save him because you won’t survive the Commandant much longer.
My doubts rise insidiously from the soil of my mind like creeping, choking vines. That will be the end of you and your family. Crushed from existence like so many others.
The trail twists and turns back on itself, treacherous as the shifting dunes.
A hot wind blows into my face, forcing tears from my eyes before I can stop them, until I can hardly see where I am going. At the base of the cliffs, I fall to the sand. My sobs echo in this empty place, but I don’t care. There is no one to hear me.
My life in the Scholar’s Quarter was never easy—sometimes it was horrible, like when my friend Zara was taken, or when Darin and I rose and slept with the ache of hunger in our bellies. Like all Scholars, I learned to lower my eyes before the Martials, but at least I never had to bow and scrape before them.
At least my life was free of this torment, this waiting, always, for more pain. I had Nan and Pop, who protected me from far more than I ever realized. I had Darin, who loomed so large in my life that I thought him immortal as the stars.
Gone now. All of them. Lis with her laughing eyes, so vivid in my mind that it seems impossible that she’s been dead twelve years. My parents, who wanted so badly to free the Scholars but who only managed to get themselves killed.
Gone, like everyone else. Leaving me here, alone.
Shadows emerge from the sand, circling me. Ghuls. They feed off sorrow and sadness and the stink of blood.
One of them screams, startling me into dropping the basket. The sound is eerily familiar.
“Mercy!” They mock in a multilayered, high-pitched voice. “Please, have mercy!”
I clap my hands over my ears, recognizing my own voice in theirs, my pleas to the Commandant. How did they know? How did they hear?
The shadows titter and circle. One, braver than the rest, nips at my leg, teeth flashing. A chill pierces my skin, and I cry out.
“Stop!”
The ghuls cackle and parrot my plea. “Stop! Stop!”
If only I had a scim, a knife—something to scare them off, the way Spiro Teluman did. But I have nothing, so I try instead to stagger away, only to run straight into a wall.
At least that’s what it feels like. It takes me a moment to realize that it’s not a wall, but a person. A tall person, broad-shouldered and muscled like a mountain cat.
I flinch back, losing my balance, and two big hands steady me. I look up and freeze when I find myself staring into familiar, pale gray eyes.
XX: Elias
The morning after the Trial, I wake before dawn, groggy from the sleeping draught I realize I’ve been doused with. My face is shaven, I’m clean, and someone’s changed me into fresh fatigues.
“Elias.” Cain emerges from the shadows of my room. His face is drawn, as if he’s been up all night. He holds up his hand at my instant barrage of questions.
“Aspirant Aquilla is in the very capable hands of Blackcliff’s physician,” he says. “If she’s meant to live, she will. The Augurs will not interfere, for we found nothing to indicate that the Farrars cheated. We have declared Marcus the winner of the First Trial. He has been given a prize of a dagger and—”
“What?”
“He returned first—”
“Because he cheated—”
The door opens, and Zak limps in. I reach for the blade Grandfather left at my bedside. Before I can fling it at the Toad, Cain is between us. I get up and quickly stuff my feet into my boots—I won’t be caught lounging on a bed while this filth is within ten feet of me.
Cain steeples his bloodless fingers and examines Zak. “You have something to say.”
“You should heal her.” Veins stand out in Zak’s neck, and he shakes his head like a wet dog ridding itself of water. “Stop it!” he says to the Augur.
“Stop trying to get in my head. Just heal her, all right?”
“Feeling guilty, you ass?” I try to shove past Cain, but the Augur blocks me with surprising swiftness.
“I’m not saying we cheated.” Zak looks quickly at Cain. “I’m saying you should heal her. Here.”
Cain’s whole body goes still as he fixates on Zak. The air shifts and grows heavy. The Augur is reading him. I can feel it.
“You and Marcus found each other.” Cain furrows his brow. “You were...led to each other...but not by one of the Augurs. Nor by the Commandant.”
The Augur closes his eyes, as if listening harder, before opening them.
“Well?” I ask. “What did you see?”
“Enough to convince me that the Augurs must heal Aspirant Aquilla. But not enough to convince me that the Farrars commited sabotage.”
“Why can’t you just look into Zak’s mind like you do everyone else’s and—”
