Anguish
Page 56
There it is.
Mack snarls, “Watch it.”
I don’t bother reacting. I stare at him, my expression actually a little sad. “You’ve ruined your life, and that’s on you. Blame me, go ahead; I risked my life once for you; I won’t be doing it again.”
“He’ll kill me, you stupid, fucking bitch!” he bellows. “And all you care about is fucking an Indian!”
That’s it.
“You know what,” I hiss, “if he kills you, it’s because you’re a fucking lunatic who messed with the wrong shit. You were told, Samuel. Warned. You didn’t listen. Now you want me to risk my life, my man’s life, and my baby’s life. That won’t happen, because nothing is more important to me than them. So go ahead, beg. In the end, you made your bed, and honey—” I lean in close. “—you’re going to lie in it.”
His face scrunches up.
He doesn’t get to speak because Mack cuts in. “You got five minutes to leave, or I’ll bring my gun out and do Gregor’s job myself.”
“But . . .” Samuel begins.
“One.” Mack warns.
“You’re not counting at me!”
“Two.”
“Fuck me, just listen.”
“Three.”
“He’s got a gun, Samuel,” I say calmly. “He’ll use it.”
Samuel’s face twists and he bellows, “You’ll pay for this,” before he turns and disappears.
I close my eyes for a moment. A part of me hates, truly hates that Samuel could likely die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, but there’s another part of me that knows I can’t save him. He’s made his choice.
Mack’s hand curls around my neck. “He made his choice, baby. He’s gotta live with it.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Your baby?”
I turn to him, confused. “Huh?”
“You called Diesel your baby.”
I give him a serious look. “That’s because he is my baby.”
His face softens, and he murmurs, “Honey.”
I grin and kiss him. “You’re stuck with me now.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
MACK
“Stop squirmin’, woman, he’s goin’ to be fine.”
Jaylah turns, scowling at me, and then she crosses her legs underneath her and stares out the window. She’s worried about Diesel, because we didn’t bring him with us. I figured it safer to separate him from us, just in case we’re followed. We very subtly sent him to his Aunty Tracy’s for two days while we’re away. We made sure we weren’t followed when we dropped him off, so I know he’s safe.
Jaylah isn’t happy about it.
“What if someone followed, and you didn’t see?”
“Jaylah, we’ve gone over this. They were trailed; no one came past for three hours. They weren’t followed.”
“Mack . . .”
“Baby,” I murmur and her face softens. She turns to me, her eyes gentle. “He’s okay.”
“I feel empty without him.”
There it is. My heart clenches. My girl loves my baby. Nothin’ in the world could feel better than that. I reach over, catching her hand and pulling it onto my lap. “Try and relax for me, yeah? It’s only two days until Maddox can get some information.”
“What if he can’t get it?”
“Maddox is good,” I say.
She hesitates, squirms, and then continues with, “And if he doesn’t?”
“Jaylah, you gotta trust me.”
“Is it always like this?” she asks, her voice soft.
I shrug. “At the moment it is, but only because we’ve got problems going down. The problem with my brother isn’t with the club, so no, it’s not always like this. Club life ain’t always safe, or even legal, but they’re the best family you will ever know.”
“I’ve already figured that out.”
Silence falls, and then she whispers, “What happened to your family, Mack?”
I flinch. I don’t tell anyone about my past. No one knows, not even Maddox. Now she wants to know, and fuck, I want to tell her.
So, I tell her.
“My father was a piece of shit. Right from the day I was born. I don’t entirely blame him; my mother chose him and she chose to let him do what he did. It was nothing for him to raise a fist on a daily basis. He broke my arm, my leg and two ribs by the time I was four.”
She flinches, and I know if I looked at her, I’d see tears in her eyes. I release her hand and curl my fingers tightly around the steering wheel.
“He was Native American by blood, but was kicked out of the village before he was fifteen years’ old. He ran amuck, fucked up a lot of things, brought shame to his heritage, and met my mother when he was twenty. She was drug fucked, a prostitute and as worthless as him. The two got into business together; a business that did some serious illegal shit.”
Jaylah’s eyes are on me, but I keep focus.
“She had me two years into that business. I never had a good life, never had love—never had fuckin’ nothin’. She left me alone at a young age and would go out for hours—I don’t know how I survived. She used to let that piece of shit beat me, because she was too out of it to fight back. By the time I was five, the authorities took me away. I was in foster care for only a small amount of time before they did the best thing they ever did for me . . . they signed the papers, and I joined Maddox’s family.”
Mack snarls, “Watch it.”
I don’t bother reacting. I stare at him, my expression actually a little sad. “You’ve ruined your life, and that’s on you. Blame me, go ahead; I risked my life once for you; I won’t be doing it again.”
“He’ll kill me, you stupid, fucking bitch!” he bellows. “And all you care about is fucking an Indian!”
That’s it.
“You know what,” I hiss, “if he kills you, it’s because you’re a fucking lunatic who messed with the wrong shit. You were told, Samuel. Warned. You didn’t listen. Now you want me to risk my life, my man’s life, and my baby’s life. That won’t happen, because nothing is more important to me than them. So go ahead, beg. In the end, you made your bed, and honey—” I lean in close. “—you’re going to lie in it.”
His face scrunches up.
He doesn’t get to speak because Mack cuts in. “You got five minutes to leave, or I’ll bring my gun out and do Gregor’s job myself.”
“But . . .” Samuel begins.
“One.” Mack warns.
“You’re not counting at me!”
“Two.”
“Fuck me, just listen.”
“Three.”
“He’s got a gun, Samuel,” I say calmly. “He’ll use it.”
Samuel’s face twists and he bellows, “You’ll pay for this,” before he turns and disappears.
I close my eyes for a moment. A part of me hates, truly hates that Samuel could likely die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, but there’s another part of me that knows I can’t save him. He’s made his choice.
Mack’s hand curls around my neck. “He made his choice, baby. He’s gotta live with it.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Your baby?”
I turn to him, confused. “Huh?”
“You called Diesel your baby.”
I give him a serious look. “That’s because he is my baby.”
His face softens, and he murmurs, “Honey.”
I grin and kiss him. “You’re stuck with me now.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
MACK
“Stop squirmin’, woman, he’s goin’ to be fine.”
Jaylah turns, scowling at me, and then she crosses her legs underneath her and stares out the window. She’s worried about Diesel, because we didn’t bring him with us. I figured it safer to separate him from us, just in case we’re followed. We very subtly sent him to his Aunty Tracy’s for two days while we’re away. We made sure we weren’t followed when we dropped him off, so I know he’s safe.
Jaylah isn’t happy about it.
“What if someone followed, and you didn’t see?”
“Jaylah, we’ve gone over this. They were trailed; no one came past for three hours. They weren’t followed.”
“Mack . . .”
“Baby,” I murmur and her face softens. She turns to me, her eyes gentle. “He’s okay.”
“I feel empty without him.”
There it is. My heart clenches. My girl loves my baby. Nothin’ in the world could feel better than that. I reach over, catching her hand and pulling it onto my lap. “Try and relax for me, yeah? It’s only two days until Maddox can get some information.”
“What if he can’t get it?”
“Maddox is good,” I say.
She hesitates, squirms, and then continues with, “And if he doesn’t?”
“Jaylah, you gotta trust me.”
“Is it always like this?” she asks, her voice soft.
I shrug. “At the moment it is, but only because we’ve got problems going down. The problem with my brother isn’t with the club, so no, it’s not always like this. Club life ain’t always safe, or even legal, but they’re the best family you will ever know.”
“I’ve already figured that out.”
Silence falls, and then she whispers, “What happened to your family, Mack?”
I flinch. I don’t tell anyone about my past. No one knows, not even Maddox. Now she wants to know, and fuck, I want to tell her.
So, I tell her.
“My father was a piece of shit. Right from the day I was born. I don’t entirely blame him; my mother chose him and she chose to let him do what he did. It was nothing for him to raise a fist on a daily basis. He broke my arm, my leg and two ribs by the time I was four.”
She flinches, and I know if I looked at her, I’d see tears in her eyes. I release her hand and curl my fingers tightly around the steering wheel.
“He was Native American by blood, but was kicked out of the village before he was fifteen years’ old. He ran amuck, fucked up a lot of things, brought shame to his heritage, and met my mother when he was twenty. She was drug fucked, a prostitute and as worthless as him. The two got into business together; a business that did some serious illegal shit.”
Jaylah’s eyes are on me, but I keep focus.
“She had me two years into that business. I never had a good life, never had love—never had fuckin’ nothin’. She left me alone at a young age and would go out for hours—I don’t know how I survived. She used to let that piece of shit beat me, because she was too out of it to fight back. By the time I was five, the authorities took me away. I was in foster care for only a small amount of time before they did the best thing they ever did for me . . . they signed the papers, and I joined Maddox’s family.”
