Any Day Now
Page 60
Still, she did the right thing and checked in with Moody, saying hello. And then, because duplicity was a definite enemy to sobriety, she told Moody she was going out for coffee with Neely. And he had said, “Good for you.”
“I’m so glad to get out of there,” Neely said as they were leaving. “How would you like to meet at that Denny’s by the highway? Is that too far away for you?”
“No, perfect,” Sierra said, though it was in the opposite direction of the Crossing.
Glad to get out of there? Neely was like a cheerleader for AA, super involved, traveling on a speaking circuit, visiting open meetings, sitting on boards... Even Moody, who was moody, never said he was glad a meeting was over.
They went in their own cars and she couldn’t help but notice Neely had a really nice late-model Lexus. When they were seated in a booth in the restaurant, Neely ordered coffee for both of them.
Sierra couldn’t even remember when she last had a girlfriend. At least she had Connie these days, the best friend she’d ever had. But there was something about a girlfriend that hit all the right buttons. Connie was great and she was completely grateful for him, but there were girl things he would never get. Like cramps, to name just one.
She’d managed to hook up with all the wrong people since she was about fourteen. And once she’d gotten into AA and met people like herself, she’d gotten close to a few but it always felt a little forced. She wanted to feel some chemistry, a strong connection, someone she could really hang on to for ballast. It had felt close a couple of times, but not exciting enough.
“What did you mean you couldn’t wait to get out of there?” Sierra asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Neely said, stirring sugar into her coffee. “I know how important it is for me but there are times I’ve just heard enough and would rather be doing something else.” Then she flashed her gorgeous movie-star smile. “Like this!”
“Like this,” Sierra echoed.
“How long have you lived here, Sierra?”
“Oh, not very long. I got here in March so it’s been...five months. I’m from Iowa. My folks live on a farm in Iowa, but my older brother is here and I wanted to be near family, but not on a farm in Iowa.”
“I’ve lived in Vail for the past few years, but I’m originally from Connecticut,” Neely said. “I just love it here. Plus, I wanted to get away from the whole family. They’re all pretty bad for me. I’m thinking of moving, but not out of Colorado. There was a relationship I had to end. A destructive relationship.”
“Do we all have destructive relationships?” Sierra heard herself ask.
“At least one! I attract them like magnets. Don’t you?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been involved with anyone in a long time,” Sierra said, and then she wondered why she didn’t mention Connie. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for work?”
“Nothing at the moment, but I’m looking to start a small business. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but that’s why I’m scouting around a little bit. Looking for just the right place.”
“What kind of business?” Sierra instantly asked.
Neely grinned beautifully. “Did it go right over your head that I’m not talking about it yet?”
“Sorry,” she said. “I guess it did.”
“Let’s just say a specialty shop and I’ll tell you more when things start to fall into place. See, my crazy family did one nice thing for me—they left me a little nest egg. If I’m smart, and I am smart, I can turn it into a larger nest egg and take care of myself without ever relying on anyone again.”
“That would be so nice,” Sierra said.
“So, who do you rely on?” Neely asked.
“Well, no one, really,” she said. And then she wondered why she had said that. She relied on lots of people, she just wasn’t financially supported by them at the moment, but only because she didn’t need much to live on. “But I have a lot of nice people nearby if I ever run into trouble. My brother and sister-in-law, my sister-in-law’s dad, people I’ve met around town and...well, I’ve been seeing a very nice guy. He’s a paramedic and firefighter.”
“Oh, sounds hot! I got involved with a guy right after rehab, just a few months sober, and all we did was drive each other crazy until I left him. Then I did it again and again and again. I’m recovering and running from another one right now. I’m still tempted by the wrong people,” Neely said. “I’m starting to think that the only men who are safe for me are the ones I’m not attracted to.”
She’d picked herself a young businessman, she explained. A broker of commodities, a respectable guy who had sophisticated friends, and they drank and used worse than the lowlifes she’d known before. There was a radiologist—didn’t drink at all, and what a supreme asshole. Then she tried a simple blue-collar guy, a mechanic, who was such a demanding, controlling freak she wondered if she’d ever get away. A schoolteacher, a librarian, “And get this! A minister! I think he was the worst of all!”
“And through all that you didn’t drink?” Sierra asked, kind of astonished.
“Nine years. Come on, didn’t I have enough problems?” And then she laughed.
Sierra was captivated. She told Neely things she hadn’t told anyone in quite a while, things she hadn’t told Moody, a lot of them straight out of her notebook. Neely identified, understood, added her own stuff and even though Sierra had experienced that before, there was something about Neely that was so engaging, she felt like a spark ignited inside her. It was, she realized, that female chemistry in friendship that was almost like falling in love. Her nerves of feeling unworthy had shifted to the excitement of being chosen. They laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks, they whispered, trading in secrets, they made promises to each other to do this again and again. Neely did something that Sierra recognized but didn’t want to acknowledge—a kind of leap to intimacy. “We should take a little road trip up to Montana for a few days,” she said. She was ready to go on a trip with Sierra? They barely knew each other! And, “Or, how about Santa Fe? It’s wonderful this time of year. And I could stand to look at their shops, for business reasons, of course.” And she laughed.
“I’m so glad to get out of there,” Neely said as they were leaving. “How would you like to meet at that Denny’s by the highway? Is that too far away for you?”
“No, perfect,” Sierra said, though it was in the opposite direction of the Crossing.
Glad to get out of there? Neely was like a cheerleader for AA, super involved, traveling on a speaking circuit, visiting open meetings, sitting on boards... Even Moody, who was moody, never said he was glad a meeting was over.
They went in their own cars and she couldn’t help but notice Neely had a really nice late-model Lexus. When they were seated in a booth in the restaurant, Neely ordered coffee for both of them.
Sierra couldn’t even remember when she last had a girlfriend. At least she had Connie these days, the best friend she’d ever had. But there was something about a girlfriend that hit all the right buttons. Connie was great and she was completely grateful for him, but there were girl things he would never get. Like cramps, to name just one.
She’d managed to hook up with all the wrong people since she was about fourteen. And once she’d gotten into AA and met people like herself, she’d gotten close to a few but it always felt a little forced. She wanted to feel some chemistry, a strong connection, someone she could really hang on to for ballast. It had felt close a couple of times, but not exciting enough.
“What did you mean you couldn’t wait to get out of there?” Sierra asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Neely said, stirring sugar into her coffee. “I know how important it is for me but there are times I’ve just heard enough and would rather be doing something else.” Then she flashed her gorgeous movie-star smile. “Like this!”
“Like this,” Sierra echoed.
“How long have you lived here, Sierra?”
“Oh, not very long. I got here in March so it’s been...five months. I’m from Iowa. My folks live on a farm in Iowa, but my older brother is here and I wanted to be near family, but not on a farm in Iowa.”
“I’ve lived in Vail for the past few years, but I’m originally from Connecticut,” Neely said. “I just love it here. Plus, I wanted to get away from the whole family. They’re all pretty bad for me. I’m thinking of moving, but not out of Colorado. There was a relationship I had to end. A destructive relationship.”
“Do we all have destructive relationships?” Sierra heard herself ask.
“At least one! I attract them like magnets. Don’t you?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been involved with anyone in a long time,” Sierra said, and then she wondered why she didn’t mention Connie. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for work?”
“Nothing at the moment, but I’m looking to start a small business. I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but that’s why I’m scouting around a little bit. Looking for just the right place.”
“What kind of business?” Sierra instantly asked.
Neely grinned beautifully. “Did it go right over your head that I’m not talking about it yet?”
“Sorry,” she said. “I guess it did.”
“Let’s just say a specialty shop and I’ll tell you more when things start to fall into place. See, my crazy family did one nice thing for me—they left me a little nest egg. If I’m smart, and I am smart, I can turn it into a larger nest egg and take care of myself without ever relying on anyone again.”
“That would be so nice,” Sierra said.
“So, who do you rely on?” Neely asked.
“Well, no one, really,” she said. And then she wondered why she had said that. She relied on lots of people, she just wasn’t financially supported by them at the moment, but only because she didn’t need much to live on. “But I have a lot of nice people nearby if I ever run into trouble. My brother and sister-in-law, my sister-in-law’s dad, people I’ve met around town and...well, I’ve been seeing a very nice guy. He’s a paramedic and firefighter.”
“Oh, sounds hot! I got involved with a guy right after rehab, just a few months sober, and all we did was drive each other crazy until I left him. Then I did it again and again and again. I’m recovering and running from another one right now. I’m still tempted by the wrong people,” Neely said. “I’m starting to think that the only men who are safe for me are the ones I’m not attracted to.”
She’d picked herself a young businessman, she explained. A broker of commodities, a respectable guy who had sophisticated friends, and they drank and used worse than the lowlifes she’d known before. There was a radiologist—didn’t drink at all, and what a supreme asshole. Then she tried a simple blue-collar guy, a mechanic, who was such a demanding, controlling freak she wondered if she’d ever get away. A schoolteacher, a librarian, “And get this! A minister! I think he was the worst of all!”
“And through all that you didn’t drink?” Sierra asked, kind of astonished.
“Nine years. Come on, didn’t I have enough problems?” And then she laughed.
Sierra was captivated. She told Neely things she hadn’t told anyone in quite a while, things she hadn’t told Moody, a lot of them straight out of her notebook. Neely identified, understood, added her own stuff and even though Sierra had experienced that before, there was something about Neely that was so engaging, she felt like a spark ignited inside her. It was, she realized, that female chemistry in friendship that was almost like falling in love. Her nerves of feeling unworthy had shifted to the excitement of being chosen. They laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks, they whispered, trading in secrets, they made promises to each other to do this again and again. Neely did something that Sierra recognized but didn’t want to acknowledge—a kind of leap to intimacy. “We should take a little road trip up to Montana for a few days,” she said. She was ready to go on a trip with Sierra? They barely knew each other! And, “Or, how about Santa Fe? It’s wonderful this time of year. And I could stand to look at their shops, for business reasons, of course.” And she laughed.
