Archer's Voice
Page 38
I put my hands around hers, stopping her words, and she blinked up at me in surprise. I let go of her and brought my hands up. I have so much to tell you, so much we have to talk about.
Do you still love me? she asked and her vulnerable eyes blinked up at me again, fresh tears filling them. Her whole heart was right there in her expression and I loved her so desperately, I felt it in the marrow of my bones.
I'll never stop loving you, Bree, I said, hoping she could see in my eyes that I meant it in my very soul, in the very fabric of who I was.
She studied my face for a few seconds, and then she looked down for a few beats before her eyes came up and she focused on my chest as she said, You left me.
I had to, I answered.
Her eyes ran over my face, studying me intently. Take me home, Archer, she said and I didn't need to be asked twice. I took her by her hand and started moving through the crowd I had forgotten was there.
When we stepped out into the chilly night air, Bree said, "Wait, Melanie and Liza–"
They saw me, I signed, they'll know you left with me.
She nodded.
The valet brought my truck around, looking completely out of place amongst the BMW's and Audi's. That was okay. I had Bree Prescott on my arm, and I intended to keep her there.
I grinned at her as I started up the truck. Just as I was pulling away, it backfired, making the people standing around us jump and scream, one woman in a mink stole hitting the ground. They must have thought someone opened fire. I grimaced and waved my hand at them in apology.
As we drove away, I glanced at Bree who was biting her lip and obviously trying to hold back laughter. She glanced at me and I glanced at her, and then we both looked straight. After a couple seconds she glanced at me again and threw her head back and started laughing wildly. My eyes widened and then I couldn't help it, I cracked up too, grinning and laughing along with her, while simultaneously trying to keep my eyes on the road.
She laughed so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks, and I was gripping my chest, trying to get control of the hilarity that seemed to have taken us over.
After several seconds, I glanced over and her face suddenly went from hilarity to crumbling into a bout of tears. My laughter died and I glanced at her nervously, wondering what the hell had just happened.
I put my hand on her leg and she swiped it away, crying harder, looking as if she was having trouble catching her breath. Panic coursed through me. What was happening here? I didn't know what to do.
"You were gone for three months, Archer. Three months!" she choked out, her voice fading on the last word. "You didn't write. You didn't bring your phone. I didn't know if you were even alive. I didn't know if you were warm. I didn't know how you were communicating with those you needed to communicate with." She let out another sob.
I glanced at her and pulled the car off the road, onto a small dirt patch next to the bank of a river. I turned to Bree just as she opened my truck door and jumped out, walking quickly along the side of the road in her little, black dress. What the hell was she doing? I jumped out too and jogged to catch up, gravel crunching beneath my feet as Bree wobbled ahead of me on her high heels.
The moon, large and full above us, lit the night so that I could see her clearly in front of me.
When I finally made it to her, I grabbed her arm and she stopped and spun around, tears still coursing down her cheeks. Don't run from me, I said. I can't call to you. Please don't run from me.
"You ran from me!" she said. "You ran from me, and I died a little more each day! You didn't even let me know that you were safe! Why?"
Her voice broke on the last word and I felt my heart clench in my chest. I couldn't, Bree. If I had written to you, or contacted you, I wouldn't have been able to stay away. And I had to stay away, Bree. I had to. You're my safety, and I had to do this without feeling safe. I had to.
She stood there silently for several minutes, her eyes on my still hands, not looking up into my face. We were both shivering, our breath coming out in white puffs.
I suddenly understood. Bree had been holding in the emotion of my absence for three long months, and my return had opened the floodgates. I knew what it felt like when emotion bubbling to the surface made you feel sick, out of control–I knew better than anyone. It's why I had gone away. But now, I was back. And now it was my turn to be strong for Bree. Now, I was finally able.
Come back to the truck. Please. Let me get you warm and then we'll talk.
"Were there other women?"
I shook my head and breathed out, looking down at my feet, then back up at her. I leaned in and "spoke" with my hands right against her body, looking into her eyes as she glanced between my face and my hands. There has only ever been you. There. Will. Only. Ever. Be. You.
She closed her eyes and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She opened them and we both stood there silently, our breath dissipating as it rose into the sky.
"I thought," she shook her head slowly, "I thought maybe you figured out that you were lonely," she heaved in a big breath, "and that you would have fallen in love with any girl who walked down your driveway that day–that maybe you needed to find out." She looked down.
I took her chin in my fingers and tilted her face back up to me. I brought my hand down and said, There's nothing to find out. What I know, is that you walked through my gate that day and I lost my heart. But not because it could have been any girl–because it was you. I lost my heart to you. And, Bree, in case you're wondering, I don't ever want it back.
She closed her eyes again and then opened them and I saw her body relax.
"What were you doing?" she finally asked quietly, hugging herself with her bare arms.
Please let me get you warm, I repeated, holding out my hand to her.
She didn't say anything, but she took my hand and we walked back to my truck together. When we reached it, I helped her up and then walked around to my side and climbed in as well, turning to her.
I looked out the window behind her for a second, thinking of all the things I'd done in the last three months, answering the question she had asked me outside. I went to restaurants, coffee shops… I went to the movies once. I smiled a small smile and her eyes flew to my face.
She blinked at me, her tears drying up. "You did?" she whispered. I nodded.
Her eyes searched my face for several seconds before she asked. "What'd you see?"
Thor, I spelled out.
She laughed softly and the sound was like music to my ears. "Did you like it?"
I loved it. I sat through it twice. I even ordered popcorn and a drink, even though there was a line of people behind me.
"How'd you do it?" She looked at me with wide eyes.
I had to point and gesture a little, but the kid got it. He was nice. I paused for a minute. I had this realization about a month after I'd been gone. Whenever I went somewhere and had to communicate with someone, and they'd see my scar and understand why I was gesturing, they each had a different reaction. Some people were awkward, uncomfortable, others were kind, helpful, and there were even some that were impatient and put-out. Bree's eyes softened and she was listening to me raptly.
I realized that people's reactions had more to do with them, more to do with who they were, than anything about me. It was like a bolt of lightening hit me, Bree.
Tears sprung to her eyes again and she reached out and touched my leg, just laying her hand on me.
She nodded. "It was like that with my dad too. What else?" she asked.
I got a job, I smiled and a look of surprise came over her face. I nodded. Yeah, I stopped in this small town in New York state and I saw an ad about needing guys to unload delivery trucks at the airport. I wrote a letter about my situation, explaining that I could hear and understand directions and that I was a hard worker, but that I couldn't speak. I handed it to the guy in person and he read it and hired me on the spot. I grinned with the memory of the pride I had felt in that moment.
It was boring work, but I got to know another guy there, Luis, and he spoke incessantly, telling me his life story while we worked. How he had come over from Mexico without knowing the language at all, how he still struggled to support his family, but that they were happy, they had each other. He talked a lot. I got the impression that no one had ever just listened to him. I smiled with the memory of my first real friend other than Bree.
He invited me to his home for Christmas dinner and his little girl learned a few signs before I got there, and I taught her a few more. I smiled, thinking of little Claudia. She asked me the sign for love and I spelled out your name.
Bree let out small sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "So now she's going to go around saying, 'I Bree you?'" she asked, smiling softly.
I nodded. Yeah. I turned toward her more fully, focusing on her face. I stand by my logic though. I think love is a concept, and each person has an individual word for what sums it up for them. My word for love is Bree.
We stared at each other for several beats, me drinking in her beauty, her sweet compassion. I had known that about her before, but not to the extent I did now.
Finally, she asked me, "What made you decide it was time to come home?"
I looked at her for a couple seconds, considering her question. I was sitting in this small coffee shop a couple days ago and I saw this old man sitting at a table across from me. He looked so lonely, so sad. I was too, but it suddenly occurred to me that some people go through their whole lives never being loved or loving as deeply as I love you. There's always going to be the chance that I could lose you in this lifetime. There's nothing any of us can do about the possibility of loss. But in that moment, I decided that I was more interested in focusing on the great privilege I've been given in having you at all.
Tears shimmered in her eyes again as she whispered, "And what if I hadn't been here when you got back?"
Then I would have come for you. I would have fought for you. But don't you see, I had to fight for myself first. I had to feel like I was someone worthy of winning you.
She stared at me for a second, more tears coming into her eyes. "How'd you get so brilliant?" she asked, letting out a small, breathy laugh and a small sniffle.
I was already brilliant. I just needed some world experience. I needed Thor.
She let out another small laugh and then grinned at me. You being funny?
I grinned back at her, noting that she was finally using her hands to speak. No, I never joke about Thor.
She laughed and then looked at me silently again, her face going serious.
Mine went serious too and I asked, Why did you stay, Bree? Tell me.
She breathed out, looking down at her hands in her lap for a second. Finally, she brought them up and said, Because I love you. Because I'd wait for you forever. She gazed into my eyes, her beauty taking my breath away again. Take me home, Archer, she said.
My heart soared as I started up the truck and pulled back onto the road. We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence. When we were almost there, Bree reached her hand out for mine and we held hands between us for the remainder of the ride.
I pulled up in front of my house and we walked through the gate and down to my front door, not saying a word.
When we got inside and she turned to me, I said, You kept my house clean.
She looked around as if she was just remembering, and then nodded.
Why? I asked.
She seemed to consider. Because doing it made me feel like you were coming back, like you'd be home soon.
My heart squeezed tightly. I'm sorry, Bree.
She shook her head and looked up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes. Don't leave me again, please.
I shook my head and moved closer to her. Never again, I said and then took her in my arms. She lifted her mouth to mine and I pressed my lips to hers, silently moaning at the taste of her as I slipped my tongue into her mouth. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body as the taste of peaches and Bree exploded on my tongue. My c**k stiffened immediately and I pressed it in to her. She sighed into my mouth and impossibly, I got harder. It felt like a lifetime since I'd been inside of her.
She tore her mouth from mine and said, "I missed you so much, Archer. So much."
I let go of her for a second and signed, I missed you too, Bree. So much.
I started lowering my mouth to hers again when she brought her hand up to my hair and said, "It's longer. I'm going to have to give you another haircut." She grinned. "Maybe you won't throw me out of your house when I try to molest you this time."
I chuckled silently and then grinned and brought my hands up. Chances are good that I won't. Also, Bree, I'm going to stop talking now and use my hands for other things, okay?
Her eyes widened, her lips parting slightly as she whispered, "Okay."
I scooped her up and carried her down the short hallway to my bedroom and stood her up right next to my bed.
I kicked off my shoes, unknotted my tie, and started unbuttoning my dress shirt as she kicked off her heels and turned around for me to unzip her dress.
I brought the zipper down slowly, exposing more and more of her skin. Her tan lines were gone now and her skin was creamy and lighter than it was the last time I'd seen all of her. She was so beautiful. And mine, all mine. A deep satisfaction filled me and the desperation I felt to be inside of her ratcheted up another level.
She turned back to me and let her small, black dress fall and pool at her feet. My c**k pulsated as she looked up at me through her lashes, her pink lips parting.
I reached down and removed my socks, and then stood back up and undid my belt and unbuttoned my pants and let them fall to the floor where I kicked them off. Bree licked her lips and looked down at my straining erection and then back up into my face. Her eyes were shiny and dilated.
Do you still love me? she asked and her vulnerable eyes blinked up at me again, fresh tears filling them. Her whole heart was right there in her expression and I loved her so desperately, I felt it in the marrow of my bones.
I'll never stop loving you, Bree, I said, hoping she could see in my eyes that I meant it in my very soul, in the very fabric of who I was.
She studied my face for a few seconds, and then she looked down for a few beats before her eyes came up and she focused on my chest as she said, You left me.
I had to, I answered.
Her eyes ran over my face, studying me intently. Take me home, Archer, she said and I didn't need to be asked twice. I took her by her hand and started moving through the crowd I had forgotten was there.
When we stepped out into the chilly night air, Bree said, "Wait, Melanie and Liza–"
They saw me, I signed, they'll know you left with me.
She nodded.
The valet brought my truck around, looking completely out of place amongst the BMW's and Audi's. That was okay. I had Bree Prescott on my arm, and I intended to keep her there.
I grinned at her as I started up the truck. Just as I was pulling away, it backfired, making the people standing around us jump and scream, one woman in a mink stole hitting the ground. They must have thought someone opened fire. I grimaced and waved my hand at them in apology.
As we drove away, I glanced at Bree who was biting her lip and obviously trying to hold back laughter. She glanced at me and I glanced at her, and then we both looked straight. After a couple seconds she glanced at me again and threw her head back and started laughing wildly. My eyes widened and then I couldn't help it, I cracked up too, grinning and laughing along with her, while simultaneously trying to keep my eyes on the road.
She laughed so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks, and I was gripping my chest, trying to get control of the hilarity that seemed to have taken us over.
After several seconds, I glanced over and her face suddenly went from hilarity to crumbling into a bout of tears. My laughter died and I glanced at her nervously, wondering what the hell had just happened.
I put my hand on her leg and she swiped it away, crying harder, looking as if she was having trouble catching her breath. Panic coursed through me. What was happening here? I didn't know what to do.
"You were gone for three months, Archer. Three months!" she choked out, her voice fading on the last word. "You didn't write. You didn't bring your phone. I didn't know if you were even alive. I didn't know if you were warm. I didn't know how you were communicating with those you needed to communicate with." She let out another sob.
I glanced at her and pulled the car off the road, onto a small dirt patch next to the bank of a river. I turned to Bree just as she opened my truck door and jumped out, walking quickly along the side of the road in her little, black dress. What the hell was she doing? I jumped out too and jogged to catch up, gravel crunching beneath my feet as Bree wobbled ahead of me on her high heels.
The moon, large and full above us, lit the night so that I could see her clearly in front of me.
When I finally made it to her, I grabbed her arm and she stopped and spun around, tears still coursing down her cheeks. Don't run from me, I said. I can't call to you. Please don't run from me.
"You ran from me!" she said. "You ran from me, and I died a little more each day! You didn't even let me know that you were safe! Why?"
Her voice broke on the last word and I felt my heart clench in my chest. I couldn't, Bree. If I had written to you, or contacted you, I wouldn't have been able to stay away. And I had to stay away, Bree. I had to. You're my safety, and I had to do this without feeling safe. I had to.
She stood there silently for several minutes, her eyes on my still hands, not looking up into my face. We were both shivering, our breath coming out in white puffs.
I suddenly understood. Bree had been holding in the emotion of my absence for three long months, and my return had opened the floodgates. I knew what it felt like when emotion bubbling to the surface made you feel sick, out of control–I knew better than anyone. It's why I had gone away. But now, I was back. And now it was my turn to be strong for Bree. Now, I was finally able.
Come back to the truck. Please. Let me get you warm and then we'll talk.
"Were there other women?"
I shook my head and breathed out, looking down at my feet, then back up at her. I leaned in and "spoke" with my hands right against her body, looking into her eyes as she glanced between my face and my hands. There has only ever been you. There. Will. Only. Ever. Be. You.
She closed her eyes and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She opened them and we both stood there silently, our breath dissipating as it rose into the sky.
"I thought," she shook her head slowly, "I thought maybe you figured out that you were lonely," she heaved in a big breath, "and that you would have fallen in love with any girl who walked down your driveway that day–that maybe you needed to find out." She looked down.
I took her chin in my fingers and tilted her face back up to me. I brought my hand down and said, There's nothing to find out. What I know, is that you walked through my gate that day and I lost my heart. But not because it could have been any girl–because it was you. I lost my heart to you. And, Bree, in case you're wondering, I don't ever want it back.
She closed her eyes again and then opened them and I saw her body relax.
"What were you doing?" she finally asked quietly, hugging herself with her bare arms.
Please let me get you warm, I repeated, holding out my hand to her.
She didn't say anything, but she took my hand and we walked back to my truck together. When we reached it, I helped her up and then walked around to my side and climbed in as well, turning to her.
I looked out the window behind her for a second, thinking of all the things I'd done in the last three months, answering the question she had asked me outside. I went to restaurants, coffee shops… I went to the movies once. I smiled a small smile and her eyes flew to my face.
She blinked at me, her tears drying up. "You did?" she whispered. I nodded.
Her eyes searched my face for several seconds before she asked. "What'd you see?"
Thor, I spelled out.
She laughed softly and the sound was like music to my ears. "Did you like it?"
I loved it. I sat through it twice. I even ordered popcorn and a drink, even though there was a line of people behind me.
"How'd you do it?" She looked at me with wide eyes.
I had to point and gesture a little, but the kid got it. He was nice. I paused for a minute. I had this realization about a month after I'd been gone. Whenever I went somewhere and had to communicate with someone, and they'd see my scar and understand why I was gesturing, they each had a different reaction. Some people were awkward, uncomfortable, others were kind, helpful, and there were even some that were impatient and put-out. Bree's eyes softened and she was listening to me raptly.
I realized that people's reactions had more to do with them, more to do with who they were, than anything about me. It was like a bolt of lightening hit me, Bree.
Tears sprung to her eyes again and she reached out and touched my leg, just laying her hand on me.
She nodded. "It was like that with my dad too. What else?" she asked.
I got a job, I smiled and a look of surprise came over her face. I nodded. Yeah, I stopped in this small town in New York state and I saw an ad about needing guys to unload delivery trucks at the airport. I wrote a letter about my situation, explaining that I could hear and understand directions and that I was a hard worker, but that I couldn't speak. I handed it to the guy in person and he read it and hired me on the spot. I grinned with the memory of the pride I had felt in that moment.
It was boring work, but I got to know another guy there, Luis, and he spoke incessantly, telling me his life story while we worked. How he had come over from Mexico without knowing the language at all, how he still struggled to support his family, but that they were happy, they had each other. He talked a lot. I got the impression that no one had ever just listened to him. I smiled with the memory of my first real friend other than Bree.
He invited me to his home for Christmas dinner and his little girl learned a few signs before I got there, and I taught her a few more. I smiled, thinking of little Claudia. She asked me the sign for love and I spelled out your name.
Bree let out small sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "So now she's going to go around saying, 'I Bree you?'" she asked, smiling softly.
I nodded. Yeah. I turned toward her more fully, focusing on her face. I stand by my logic though. I think love is a concept, and each person has an individual word for what sums it up for them. My word for love is Bree.
We stared at each other for several beats, me drinking in her beauty, her sweet compassion. I had known that about her before, but not to the extent I did now.
Finally, she asked me, "What made you decide it was time to come home?"
I looked at her for a couple seconds, considering her question. I was sitting in this small coffee shop a couple days ago and I saw this old man sitting at a table across from me. He looked so lonely, so sad. I was too, but it suddenly occurred to me that some people go through their whole lives never being loved or loving as deeply as I love you. There's always going to be the chance that I could lose you in this lifetime. There's nothing any of us can do about the possibility of loss. But in that moment, I decided that I was more interested in focusing on the great privilege I've been given in having you at all.
Tears shimmered in her eyes again as she whispered, "And what if I hadn't been here when you got back?"
Then I would have come for you. I would have fought for you. But don't you see, I had to fight for myself first. I had to feel like I was someone worthy of winning you.
She stared at me for a second, more tears coming into her eyes. "How'd you get so brilliant?" she asked, letting out a small, breathy laugh and a small sniffle.
I was already brilliant. I just needed some world experience. I needed Thor.
She let out another small laugh and then grinned at me. You being funny?
I grinned back at her, noting that she was finally using her hands to speak. No, I never joke about Thor.
She laughed and then looked at me silently again, her face going serious.
Mine went serious too and I asked, Why did you stay, Bree? Tell me.
She breathed out, looking down at her hands in her lap for a second. Finally, she brought them up and said, Because I love you. Because I'd wait for you forever. She gazed into my eyes, her beauty taking my breath away again. Take me home, Archer, she said.
My heart soared as I started up the truck and pulled back onto the road. We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence. When we were almost there, Bree reached her hand out for mine and we held hands between us for the remainder of the ride.
I pulled up in front of my house and we walked through the gate and down to my front door, not saying a word.
When we got inside and she turned to me, I said, You kept my house clean.
She looked around as if she was just remembering, and then nodded.
Why? I asked.
She seemed to consider. Because doing it made me feel like you were coming back, like you'd be home soon.
My heart squeezed tightly. I'm sorry, Bree.
She shook her head and looked up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes. Don't leave me again, please.
I shook my head and moved closer to her. Never again, I said and then took her in my arms. She lifted her mouth to mine and I pressed my lips to hers, silently moaning at the taste of her as I slipped my tongue into her mouth. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body as the taste of peaches and Bree exploded on my tongue. My c**k stiffened immediately and I pressed it in to her. She sighed into my mouth and impossibly, I got harder. It felt like a lifetime since I'd been inside of her.
She tore her mouth from mine and said, "I missed you so much, Archer. So much."
I let go of her for a second and signed, I missed you too, Bree. So much.
I started lowering my mouth to hers again when she brought her hand up to my hair and said, "It's longer. I'm going to have to give you another haircut." She grinned. "Maybe you won't throw me out of your house when I try to molest you this time."
I chuckled silently and then grinned and brought my hands up. Chances are good that I won't. Also, Bree, I'm going to stop talking now and use my hands for other things, okay?
Her eyes widened, her lips parting slightly as she whispered, "Okay."
I scooped her up and carried her down the short hallway to my bedroom and stood her up right next to my bed.
I kicked off my shoes, unknotted my tie, and started unbuttoning my dress shirt as she kicked off her heels and turned around for me to unzip her dress.
I brought the zipper down slowly, exposing more and more of her skin. Her tan lines were gone now and her skin was creamy and lighter than it was the last time I'd seen all of her. She was so beautiful. And mine, all mine. A deep satisfaction filled me and the desperation I felt to be inside of her ratcheted up another level.
She turned back to me and let her small, black dress fall and pool at her feet. My c**k pulsated as she looked up at me through her lashes, her pink lips parting.
I reached down and removed my socks, and then stood back up and undid my belt and unbuttoned my pants and let them fall to the floor where I kicked them off. Bree licked her lips and looked down at my straining erection and then back up into my face. Her eyes were shiny and dilated.
