Arsen: A Broken Love Story
Page 16
“Woman, you’re going to kill me. Aren’t you sore? I don’t want to hurt you. And f**k that shit, robbed, my ass! I felt you spasm around my dick. And babe, trust me, I deliver.”
“Seriously, cocky much?” His smugness is such a turn on.
“Yes, I’m cocky alright,” he says, nudging me with a huge erection.
“What the hell? How can you be…”
“Babe, I’m a guy. Alone with his girl who has her sweet na**d ass plastered against his dick. So yes, I’m going to want to f**k again, and again.”
“Wait! No! Before we do anything, I-I want to know…I need to know. Was it good for you? Did you like it?”
Letting me go, he lifts his body to lie on top of mine. His arms are around my head, and his legs and upper body cage me under his. He stares at me with fire burning in his eyes. “Cathy, please. Stop this shit. I don’t like it when you doubt yourself. It’s just me, babe. And I—”
He stops himself, checking his words. Ben lifts one of his hands, caressing my cheek lovingly. “I think you’re perfect. From the way your green eyes look like deep forests, to your dimples that make me want to do stupid shit. Everything about you is perfect. Everything you do is perfect. So stop that, Cathy. And to answer your question, it was f**king amazing. You’re amazing.”
“Oh.”
As a blush as hot as an iron covers my face, all I can do is lay there trying to let his words sink in. He thinks I’m perfect.
“That’s right. Oh all you want. Now, not to sound like a horndog, which I am and proud of it, can we um, get to it?”
I smack him on his chest as I’m about to protest, but Ben grabs my hand in his. Bringing it to his lips, he kisses it once. “Gosh, why am I even dating you? You are such an ass!”
Ben’s face softens as he murmurs, “Because,” kiss, “ I am the most tender,” kiss, “affectionate,” kiss, “sweetest,” kiss, “and horniest person,” kiss, “you’ll ever meet.” Lifting his face, his eyes pin me on the spot. “So, what do you say? Want to be my girlfriend?”My hands sweating, my chest bursting fiercely like fireworks, I nod. “Yes…if you want to.”
He grins boyishly. “Yes, I want to.”
When Ben lowers his mouth, his lips touch mine very softly, very carefully...opening my mouth to him, his tongue caresses my own as his hands go to my legs, spreading me open once more. As I feel the tip of his erection about to enter me, I break the kiss. Breathing heavily, my body screaming for him, “Wait. I need to know something else.”
He groans, moves off my body and lies on his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Go ahead.”
Sexual frustration is seeping out of his pores. Man, does he want me that bad?
“Hey, you said you wanted to talk. So I’m talking.”
“Touché, baby, touché. Go ahead. We are all ears.”
“We?”
“Yes, my dick and I. He’s awake, after all.”
“You’re bad.”
“Only for you, babe, only for you. Now go ahead. I don’t want to rush you, but we’re waiting.”
“I wanted to tell you that nothing happened between Julian and me. And before you go there, I left with him, and we danced a bit too close to each other, but it was all for show. I was angry with you and I didn’t think, so I left with him. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I most certainly don’t want you to get into a fight with Julian over me. He was very sweet in trying to help me out.”
Lifting the arm covering his eyes, he looks at me as he speaks with a scowl on his face, “Julian sweet my ass! He was f**king testing the waters. He wanted you. I saw it. He has some explaining to do, but don’t worry about it for now, babe. He enjoyed it, but he’s never getting that close to you again, and he knows it too. So don’t apologize for that.”
“Please don’t be too mean. He seriously was being sweet.”
“Don’t worry about it. Let me deal with my best friend. And I’m not pissed anymore.”
“Okay, next.”
“There’s more?”
“One more. Where did you go when you disappeared?”
“I couldn’t stand watching you dancing with someone else, so I went to get a beer. I was so mad. I was just getting ready to come find you and put a stop to that loser’s game when I saw you leaving. That’s when I caught up to you outside in the hallway.”
“Are you sure? You weren’t, you know…with someone else? You were gone for a couple of songs.” Why isn’t he telling me about Ashley? I should tell him that I saw them speaking, but I don’t want her to ruin our moment. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.
Ben decides he’s had enough of talking because as he’s answering my question, his hand goes between my legs again. I feel as he dips not two but three of his fingers inside me, stroking me lightly. “Babe, how many times do I have to tell you tonight? I only want you.” Without removing his fingers, he lifts his body with one shoulder watching what he is doing to me. “Only you.”
I feel him remove his fingers and watch him move on top of me. Opening my legs with his hands, he enters me slowly, taking his time, making the moment last. When he’s all the way in, he pauses as we stare at each other, both of us breathing heavily. Slowly, he brings a hand to caress my na**d shoulder. “I’ve wanted to do this since the moment I kissed you on the street.”
“Have sex with me?” I ask.
“No.” He bites my lower lip. “Make you mine.”
This time he makes love to me. There is no roughness in his treatment of my body, and I don’t miss it. This feels as if he is telling me with his body what he cannot voice yet. This feels like we are imprinting each other to our bodies and to our hearts. Moaning, I grab the back of his neck and pull him down for a kiss, getting lost in the moment.
Later, as the room is illuminated with soft purples and pinks of the early morning, we’re on the brink of falling asleep after a long night of making love. When my eyes are closing from deep and exquisite exhaustion, I feel him move closer to me, his nose nuzzling my neck as he murmurs in my ear, “I’ll never get tired of you…of this.” He holds my hands in his, twining out fingers together. “I just want to touch you. So f**king badly. So f**king much. You are mine now. Only mine.”
Before falling into an abyss of dreams, I hear myself replying.
“I’m yours.”
The truth reverberates within me until it is etched in my soul.
I wake up, opening my eyes as I stretch my body. Uh oh. Now I feel sore. Very sore. I have red marks everywhere on my body. Smiling, I don’t feel shocked or scared because they remind me of our night together, our first night together, and of everything that happened between us. Those bruises and red marks are a visual memory of what it means to be branded. I was branded physically by Ben with each hard thrust of his h*ps into me, and with each kiss and every soft word whispered, he branded himself in my heart. As I extend my arms above my head, trying to shake the sleep induced haze off my mind; I notice that Ben is not in bed. Not giving it a thought, I flip on my stomach and reach for his pillow, bringing it close to my face. I bury my nose in the fluffy case as I try to absorb his essence, inhaling his unique peppermint scent mixed with sweat and the musky aroma of sex.
Geezz…I remember now. This pillow was under my stomach last night when he drove into me from behind. Feeling warm moisture settle in my core, I groan and move the pillow to my chest and hug it as if it were Ben. After a couple minutes of lying idly, I decide I should take a shower before he returns when I hear the door open. I prop myself on my elbows as I watch a freshly showered and dressed Ben enter the room. His smile is so big when he sees me that you can see the beginning of laugh lines around his eyes and mouth.
He is gorgeous.
And he is mine.
“You’re up. I’m glad. I want to teach you how to ride a bicycle.”
“Seriously, Ben? I told you when we had this conversation weeks ago that I wasn’t interested in learning.”
As Ben gets closer to the bed, the smell of his aftershave and his shampoo holds me enthralled. “I know, babe, but I want to teach you. It’s fun. And during the summer we can go to New Hampshire or Vermont and go mountain biking. It’s awesome. And I want you to do those things with me.”
“Okay, fine.” When he’s standing in front of me, I notice the writing on his tee. “I don’t get your t-shirt.”
“What?” Ben asks.
“It says “Liquor on the front.”
A sexy smirk appears on his face. “Read the back, babe, and say it quick.”
When he turns around, I see the rest of the saying. Well. “Poker on the back?” Enunciating the words aloud, I get it. Seriously?
While Ben laughs, he reaches the edge of the bed and kneels next to me. “Gladly, baby. But not now. Now, I want to do this.”
“Ben, take that shirt off! Seriously, that’s—”
“It’s the shit. Now get your delicious ass out of bed. I’m teaching you how to ride a bicycle.”
“Thought I did that last night…”
“You did, baby, and you almost gave me a f**king heart attack. But this is different. Come on, no more buts.”
“Fine,” I groan and get out of bed.
Freshly showered and feeling not so sore anymore, I make my way to the spacious breakfast room. The maid who I stopped to ask for directions referred to it as a breakfast parlor. I giggle. Parlor. My secret guilty pleasure is to read regency novels, and the word parlor reminds me of them. Ben definitely could be the hero in one. He definitely looks the part. Ruggedly handsome and masculine. When I arrive at the room, my eyes immediately scan the area looking for Ben. It doesn’t take me long to locate him. He’s talking to the same beautiful brunette from last night whose exotic features make mine look boring and plain. She is supermodel tall with a Victoria’s Secret model body. They are standing by a window deep in conversation, but that’s not what bothers me.
What punches me in the gut, leaving me breathless, is the way she’s holding his hand in hers. I see the glimmer of tears in her eyes as she talks to him. It looks like she’s pleading with him. Ben looks annoyed, but I can see the softening in his eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe a tear off her face tenderly.
Shit.
Watching him touch her face so gently is a blow to my heart. I’m breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. Walking backwards without looking, I crash into the housekeeper who was holding a tray filled with glassware. It falls and breaks, just like me. Everyone turns in my direction and I apologize to the room, making my way to the front door as fast as I can.
I feel the cool air hit my wet cheeks the moment I begin to run. I don’t care. I just want to get away from that house. I knew this was going to happen. I let myself be fooled by my own wishful thinking. I thought I could make Ben fall in love with me like I had with him.
Yes, I love him. And it hurts. But Ben was never mine to begin with, so I can’t be angry with him if he wants to end whatever we have.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I hear someone shouting my name, but I don’t stop running. I don’t even know where I’m going. My blonde hair keeps getting in the way as I try to escape, partially blinding me until I hit a human wall. A warm wall whose arms wrap around me tightly.
How did he get ahead of me? Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
I try to get away from his strong grasp, but he won’t let me. Ben leans down and speaks into my ear, “Cathy. Stop fighting me. It wasn’t what you think.”
When I’m about to protest, he puts a finger on my mouth. “Shhh. Let me explain. That was Ashley. She wants me back, but what you saw wasn’t us getting back together. It was me letting her go. I don’t want her anymore, Cathy. I’ve just explained to her that…that I have fallen in love with someone else and that I don’t love her anymore. I love you, Cathy. Only you. So, please…stop.”
The fight leaves my body, and I lift my eyes as hope is reborn, spreading like a wild fire inside of me. “Y-you love me?”
Nodding, his eyes are luminous with fervor. “Yes, Cathy, I love you. I love you so f**king much.”
“I love you, too. So much.”
Love can destroy you. Love can erase you.
Love can heal you.
Love can reinvent you,
And, if you are lucky enough,
Love can make you whole again.
That’s what Cathy has done to me.
I cover her hand in mine as we make our way to the house. The need to be alone with her is driving me f**king insane. I need to show her with my body what words are not enough to describe. Show her that she owns me, body and soul. Not even Ashley, whom I thought was my future before she cheated on me, had ever reached inside me the way Cathy and her innocent green eyes did. She changed the biological makeup of my broken body, embedding herself into my DNA, slowly healing me with her smile, gluing me whole again with her love.
Fuck.
I have it bad.
And I love it.
I love her.
So f**king much.
I look down at the small hand in mine, feeling her sweet warmth all the way to my dick, and I realize that this tiny package of perfection has the power to completely destroy me, to annihilate me if she ever chose to. The funny thing is that I don’t give a damn about it. If it means that I get to be with her, to hold her in my arms, to call her my own for however long I have.
And it better be a shitload of time because at this rate forever might not be long enough.
“Seriously, cocky much?” His smugness is such a turn on.
“Yes, I’m cocky alright,” he says, nudging me with a huge erection.
“What the hell? How can you be…”
“Babe, I’m a guy. Alone with his girl who has her sweet na**d ass plastered against his dick. So yes, I’m going to want to f**k again, and again.”
“Wait! No! Before we do anything, I-I want to know…I need to know. Was it good for you? Did you like it?”
Letting me go, he lifts his body to lie on top of mine. His arms are around my head, and his legs and upper body cage me under his. He stares at me with fire burning in his eyes. “Cathy, please. Stop this shit. I don’t like it when you doubt yourself. It’s just me, babe. And I—”
He stops himself, checking his words. Ben lifts one of his hands, caressing my cheek lovingly. “I think you’re perfect. From the way your green eyes look like deep forests, to your dimples that make me want to do stupid shit. Everything about you is perfect. Everything you do is perfect. So stop that, Cathy. And to answer your question, it was f**king amazing. You’re amazing.”
“Oh.”
As a blush as hot as an iron covers my face, all I can do is lay there trying to let his words sink in. He thinks I’m perfect.
“That’s right. Oh all you want. Now, not to sound like a horndog, which I am and proud of it, can we um, get to it?”
I smack him on his chest as I’m about to protest, but Ben grabs my hand in his. Bringing it to his lips, he kisses it once. “Gosh, why am I even dating you? You are such an ass!”
Ben’s face softens as he murmurs, “Because,” kiss, “ I am the most tender,” kiss, “affectionate,” kiss, “sweetest,” kiss, “and horniest person,” kiss, “you’ll ever meet.” Lifting his face, his eyes pin me on the spot. “So, what do you say? Want to be my girlfriend?”My hands sweating, my chest bursting fiercely like fireworks, I nod. “Yes…if you want to.”
He grins boyishly. “Yes, I want to.”
When Ben lowers his mouth, his lips touch mine very softly, very carefully...opening my mouth to him, his tongue caresses my own as his hands go to my legs, spreading me open once more. As I feel the tip of his erection about to enter me, I break the kiss. Breathing heavily, my body screaming for him, “Wait. I need to know something else.”
He groans, moves off my body and lies on his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Go ahead.”
Sexual frustration is seeping out of his pores. Man, does he want me that bad?
“Hey, you said you wanted to talk. So I’m talking.”
“Touché, baby, touché. Go ahead. We are all ears.”
“We?”
“Yes, my dick and I. He’s awake, after all.”
“You’re bad.”
“Only for you, babe, only for you. Now go ahead. I don’t want to rush you, but we’re waiting.”
“I wanted to tell you that nothing happened between Julian and me. And before you go there, I left with him, and we danced a bit too close to each other, but it was all for show. I was angry with you and I didn’t think, so I left with him. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I most certainly don’t want you to get into a fight with Julian over me. He was very sweet in trying to help me out.”
Lifting the arm covering his eyes, he looks at me as he speaks with a scowl on his face, “Julian sweet my ass! He was f**king testing the waters. He wanted you. I saw it. He has some explaining to do, but don’t worry about it for now, babe. He enjoyed it, but he’s never getting that close to you again, and he knows it too. So don’t apologize for that.”
“Please don’t be too mean. He seriously was being sweet.”
“Don’t worry about it. Let me deal with my best friend. And I’m not pissed anymore.”
“Okay, next.”
“There’s more?”
“One more. Where did you go when you disappeared?”
“I couldn’t stand watching you dancing with someone else, so I went to get a beer. I was so mad. I was just getting ready to come find you and put a stop to that loser’s game when I saw you leaving. That’s when I caught up to you outside in the hallway.”
“Are you sure? You weren’t, you know…with someone else? You were gone for a couple of songs.” Why isn’t he telling me about Ashley? I should tell him that I saw them speaking, but I don’t want her to ruin our moment. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.
Ben decides he’s had enough of talking because as he’s answering my question, his hand goes between my legs again. I feel as he dips not two but three of his fingers inside me, stroking me lightly. “Babe, how many times do I have to tell you tonight? I only want you.” Without removing his fingers, he lifts his body with one shoulder watching what he is doing to me. “Only you.”
I feel him remove his fingers and watch him move on top of me. Opening my legs with his hands, he enters me slowly, taking his time, making the moment last. When he’s all the way in, he pauses as we stare at each other, both of us breathing heavily. Slowly, he brings a hand to caress my na**d shoulder. “I’ve wanted to do this since the moment I kissed you on the street.”
“Have sex with me?” I ask.
“No.” He bites my lower lip. “Make you mine.”
This time he makes love to me. There is no roughness in his treatment of my body, and I don’t miss it. This feels as if he is telling me with his body what he cannot voice yet. This feels like we are imprinting each other to our bodies and to our hearts. Moaning, I grab the back of his neck and pull him down for a kiss, getting lost in the moment.
Later, as the room is illuminated with soft purples and pinks of the early morning, we’re on the brink of falling asleep after a long night of making love. When my eyes are closing from deep and exquisite exhaustion, I feel him move closer to me, his nose nuzzling my neck as he murmurs in my ear, “I’ll never get tired of you…of this.” He holds my hands in his, twining out fingers together. “I just want to touch you. So f**king badly. So f**king much. You are mine now. Only mine.”
Before falling into an abyss of dreams, I hear myself replying.
“I’m yours.”
The truth reverberates within me until it is etched in my soul.
I wake up, opening my eyes as I stretch my body. Uh oh. Now I feel sore. Very sore. I have red marks everywhere on my body. Smiling, I don’t feel shocked or scared because they remind me of our night together, our first night together, and of everything that happened between us. Those bruises and red marks are a visual memory of what it means to be branded. I was branded physically by Ben with each hard thrust of his h*ps into me, and with each kiss and every soft word whispered, he branded himself in my heart. As I extend my arms above my head, trying to shake the sleep induced haze off my mind; I notice that Ben is not in bed. Not giving it a thought, I flip on my stomach and reach for his pillow, bringing it close to my face. I bury my nose in the fluffy case as I try to absorb his essence, inhaling his unique peppermint scent mixed with sweat and the musky aroma of sex.
Geezz…I remember now. This pillow was under my stomach last night when he drove into me from behind. Feeling warm moisture settle in my core, I groan and move the pillow to my chest and hug it as if it were Ben. After a couple minutes of lying idly, I decide I should take a shower before he returns when I hear the door open. I prop myself on my elbows as I watch a freshly showered and dressed Ben enter the room. His smile is so big when he sees me that you can see the beginning of laugh lines around his eyes and mouth.
He is gorgeous.
And he is mine.
“You’re up. I’m glad. I want to teach you how to ride a bicycle.”
“Seriously, Ben? I told you when we had this conversation weeks ago that I wasn’t interested in learning.”
As Ben gets closer to the bed, the smell of his aftershave and his shampoo holds me enthralled. “I know, babe, but I want to teach you. It’s fun. And during the summer we can go to New Hampshire or Vermont and go mountain biking. It’s awesome. And I want you to do those things with me.”
“Okay, fine.” When he’s standing in front of me, I notice the writing on his tee. “I don’t get your t-shirt.”
“What?” Ben asks.
“It says “Liquor on the front.”
A sexy smirk appears on his face. “Read the back, babe, and say it quick.”
When he turns around, I see the rest of the saying. Well. “Poker on the back?” Enunciating the words aloud, I get it. Seriously?
While Ben laughs, he reaches the edge of the bed and kneels next to me. “Gladly, baby. But not now. Now, I want to do this.”
“Ben, take that shirt off! Seriously, that’s—”
“It’s the shit. Now get your delicious ass out of bed. I’m teaching you how to ride a bicycle.”
“Thought I did that last night…”
“You did, baby, and you almost gave me a f**king heart attack. But this is different. Come on, no more buts.”
“Fine,” I groan and get out of bed.
Freshly showered and feeling not so sore anymore, I make my way to the spacious breakfast room. The maid who I stopped to ask for directions referred to it as a breakfast parlor. I giggle. Parlor. My secret guilty pleasure is to read regency novels, and the word parlor reminds me of them. Ben definitely could be the hero in one. He definitely looks the part. Ruggedly handsome and masculine. When I arrive at the room, my eyes immediately scan the area looking for Ben. It doesn’t take me long to locate him. He’s talking to the same beautiful brunette from last night whose exotic features make mine look boring and plain. She is supermodel tall with a Victoria’s Secret model body. They are standing by a window deep in conversation, but that’s not what bothers me.
What punches me in the gut, leaving me breathless, is the way she’s holding his hand in hers. I see the glimmer of tears in her eyes as she talks to him. It looks like she’s pleading with him. Ben looks annoyed, but I can see the softening in his eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe a tear off her face tenderly.
Shit.
Watching him touch her face so gently is a blow to my heart. I’m breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. Walking backwards without looking, I crash into the housekeeper who was holding a tray filled with glassware. It falls and breaks, just like me. Everyone turns in my direction and I apologize to the room, making my way to the front door as fast as I can.
I feel the cool air hit my wet cheeks the moment I begin to run. I don’t care. I just want to get away from that house. I knew this was going to happen. I let myself be fooled by my own wishful thinking. I thought I could make Ben fall in love with me like I had with him.
Yes, I love him. And it hurts. But Ben was never mine to begin with, so I can’t be angry with him if he wants to end whatever we have.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I hear someone shouting my name, but I don’t stop running. I don’t even know where I’m going. My blonde hair keeps getting in the way as I try to escape, partially blinding me until I hit a human wall. A warm wall whose arms wrap around me tightly.
How did he get ahead of me? Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
I try to get away from his strong grasp, but he won’t let me. Ben leans down and speaks into my ear, “Cathy. Stop fighting me. It wasn’t what you think.”
When I’m about to protest, he puts a finger on my mouth. “Shhh. Let me explain. That was Ashley. She wants me back, but what you saw wasn’t us getting back together. It was me letting her go. I don’t want her anymore, Cathy. I’ve just explained to her that…that I have fallen in love with someone else and that I don’t love her anymore. I love you, Cathy. Only you. So, please…stop.”
The fight leaves my body, and I lift my eyes as hope is reborn, spreading like a wild fire inside of me. “Y-you love me?”
Nodding, his eyes are luminous with fervor. “Yes, Cathy, I love you. I love you so f**king much.”
“I love you, too. So much.”
Love can destroy you. Love can erase you.
Love can heal you.
Love can reinvent you,
And, if you are lucky enough,
Love can make you whole again.
That’s what Cathy has done to me.
I cover her hand in mine as we make our way to the house. The need to be alone with her is driving me f**king insane. I need to show her with my body what words are not enough to describe. Show her that she owns me, body and soul. Not even Ashley, whom I thought was my future before she cheated on me, had ever reached inside me the way Cathy and her innocent green eyes did. She changed the biological makeup of my broken body, embedding herself into my DNA, slowly healing me with her smile, gluing me whole again with her love.
Fuck.
I have it bad.
And I love it.
I love her.
So f**king much.
I look down at the small hand in mine, feeling her sweet warmth all the way to my dick, and I realize that this tiny package of perfection has the power to completely destroy me, to annihilate me if she ever chose to. The funny thing is that I don’t give a damn about it. If it means that I get to be with her, to hold her in my arms, to call her my own for however long I have.
And it better be a shitload of time because at this rate forever might not be long enough.
