Asa
Page 55
Ayden let her head flop back on the seat and shifted so she could put her boots up on the dash. If the car had been in pristine condition, I would’ve had a fit, but considering it was still a work in progress, I figured I could let it slide.
“Brite might not get a choice in the matter.” I knew she was talking about me and all the trouble that I used to actively bring right to our doorstep. She turned to look at me and I felt my heart along with several pieces of the soul that I thought had long been lost start to fuse back together when she told me softly, “You’re a good man, Asa. You might not see it because you’re so used to looking at the man you were before, but you are right here in front of me and I can see the good shining out of you. The fact I can see it means you should be able to as well.”
I couldn’t say anything to that. There were no words, and even if I’d had them I was too afraid that if I tried to use them it would break this moment, this second that I had been waiting for ever since I had woken up from that coma. I was a good man in Ayden’s eyes, and with her saying that I finally felt forgiveness for all the things I had put her through. I could literally feel some of those bricks made of guilt that barricaded me from everything happening around me start to crumble away.
I was taking her back to Rule and Shaw’s, where she and Jet were staying, and she was going on and on about how cute the new baby was. I asked her if she thought a little one was in the future for her and Jet, which made her laugh. She told me Jet was all about having kids, but considering our upbringing and our less than stellar example of parenting our mom had left us with, she was less eager to bring a new life into the world. She told me that they had agreed to table the discussion until she was finished with school, but I knew my sister and had seen her with Jet. They would be wonderful parents and I bet he’d convince her to have his baby long before she had a degree in her hand.
I was at a stoplight when my phone rang and Royal’s pretty face popped up on the screen. It didn’t bode well for me being able to keep any kind of safety zone between us when I felt my pulse kick and my heart trip just at the sight of her name on my cell.
I swiped a finger across the screen and put the phone up to my ear. “What’s up, Red?” Without very much effort I could still taste her and scotch all hot and earthy on the tip of my tongue, and it made me shift in the driver’s seat while my sister looked at me questioningly out of the corner of her eye.
“What time do you have to work tonight?” It really did something to my insides that she always sounded so happy to talk to me. The fact that I mattered to her was not lost on me. I recognized all of the simple ways she liked to show me.
“I’m supposed to go in around five,” I told her, and she sighed and got quiet on the other end of the line. “Royal, if you need me for something, just ask.”
I heard Ayden snicker next to me and I turned to glare at her.
“My mom asked me to come over to her place for dinner and I know we aren’t really the meet-the-parents kind of couple or anything, but I was really hoping you could come with me. I love her, but she can be exhausting, and she’s been in an unpleasant funk lately. I think she would really enjoy meeting you, not to mention you’re pretty fun to stare at, even when you have clothes on.”
I chuckled. I had met plenty of parents back in the day, but I was usually putting on a show or so deep in a con that it was never actually me that they were getting to know. It was sort of freeing and kind of thrilling to have Royal ask me to spend time with her mother, considering she knew every single one of my faults and failings. Royal had made no secret of the fact she and her mother were extremely tight, so the thought that I actually needed a parent to legitimately like me if I wanted to keep this girl in my life floated around in my head and made my nerves sing.
“I’ll call the new guy and see if he can hang out for a little bit longer until I get there. It shouldn’t be a problem … and you know I love it when you owe me one, Red.”
She laughed and the warm sound sent bolts of real, honest-to-God happiness shooting throughout my body. She heated me up faster than the best scotch I had ever tasted.
“Paying up is one of my favorite things to do, Asa. I’ll come pick you up at your place when I get off of work, if that’s okay.”
I groaned and told her, “You and those handcuffs. One of these days I’m gonna make good on my threat to use them.”
She laughed again. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you later.”
When I hung up the phone Ayden turned herself completely sideways in her seat and was staring at me like she had never seen me before.
“What?” I knew I sounded surly but I wasn’t ready to have her pick apart my complicated relationship with Royal. It wasn’t like I understood it well enough to offer up an explanation anyways.
“You’re in neck-deep with the cop, aren’t you? Since when do you agree to meet the parents?”
I was in way past my neck. “Pretty much in all the way over my head at this point, and I meet the parents when it matters.”
“Are you scared?” I remembered how hard and fast she had run from Jet when he decided she was the only one for him.
“I’m scared for her. I screw up everything that matters to me, but I’ve been nothing but honest with her and she’s still here. She keeps telling me I’m a risk worth taking.” Which meant I had to make a good impression on her mom, even if it meant dipping into my old bag of tricks. “Royal and her mom are really tight. It was just the two of them growing up, so the mom’s seal of approval would be nice.”
Ayden nodded. “You are a risk worth taking … and so is she. If you stop worrying about what might happen between the two of you and focus on what is happening, you’d be able to see it clear as day. I think you love her but you’re so caught up in the then and so worried about the when that you can’t even see the now.”
“I don’t have a clue how to love someone else, Ayd.”
She reached out and thumped me on the side of the head, which made me scowl as I pulled to a stop in front of the familiar house on Capitol Hill.
“Stop making excuses. You’re too smart for that, Asa. You love me, you love Mom even though she doesn’t deserve it, and I think, finally, after way too long, you are starting to love yourself a little bit. You can love Royal if you allow yourself to.”
Her eyes brightened as the front door to the house opened and a tall guy with messy dark hair and really tight, black jeans came out on the front steps. Jet Keller and all his rock-and-roll ways was not who I would have ever pictured being my sister’s soul mate, but it was there on every feature of her expressive face. He was it for her and always would be. I saw a smile tug at her mouth as she put a hand on the door before she turned back to look at me.
“Brite might not get a choice in the matter.” I knew she was talking about me and all the trouble that I used to actively bring right to our doorstep. She turned to look at me and I felt my heart along with several pieces of the soul that I thought had long been lost start to fuse back together when she told me softly, “You’re a good man, Asa. You might not see it because you’re so used to looking at the man you were before, but you are right here in front of me and I can see the good shining out of you. The fact I can see it means you should be able to as well.”
I couldn’t say anything to that. There were no words, and even if I’d had them I was too afraid that if I tried to use them it would break this moment, this second that I had been waiting for ever since I had woken up from that coma. I was a good man in Ayden’s eyes, and with her saying that I finally felt forgiveness for all the things I had put her through. I could literally feel some of those bricks made of guilt that barricaded me from everything happening around me start to crumble away.
I was taking her back to Rule and Shaw’s, where she and Jet were staying, and she was going on and on about how cute the new baby was. I asked her if she thought a little one was in the future for her and Jet, which made her laugh. She told me Jet was all about having kids, but considering our upbringing and our less than stellar example of parenting our mom had left us with, she was less eager to bring a new life into the world. She told me that they had agreed to table the discussion until she was finished with school, but I knew my sister and had seen her with Jet. They would be wonderful parents and I bet he’d convince her to have his baby long before she had a degree in her hand.
I was at a stoplight when my phone rang and Royal’s pretty face popped up on the screen. It didn’t bode well for me being able to keep any kind of safety zone between us when I felt my pulse kick and my heart trip just at the sight of her name on my cell.
I swiped a finger across the screen and put the phone up to my ear. “What’s up, Red?” Without very much effort I could still taste her and scotch all hot and earthy on the tip of my tongue, and it made me shift in the driver’s seat while my sister looked at me questioningly out of the corner of her eye.
“What time do you have to work tonight?” It really did something to my insides that she always sounded so happy to talk to me. The fact that I mattered to her was not lost on me. I recognized all of the simple ways she liked to show me.
“I’m supposed to go in around five,” I told her, and she sighed and got quiet on the other end of the line. “Royal, if you need me for something, just ask.”
I heard Ayden snicker next to me and I turned to glare at her.
“My mom asked me to come over to her place for dinner and I know we aren’t really the meet-the-parents kind of couple or anything, but I was really hoping you could come with me. I love her, but she can be exhausting, and she’s been in an unpleasant funk lately. I think she would really enjoy meeting you, not to mention you’re pretty fun to stare at, even when you have clothes on.”
I chuckled. I had met plenty of parents back in the day, but I was usually putting on a show or so deep in a con that it was never actually me that they were getting to know. It was sort of freeing and kind of thrilling to have Royal ask me to spend time with her mother, considering she knew every single one of my faults and failings. Royal had made no secret of the fact she and her mother were extremely tight, so the thought that I actually needed a parent to legitimately like me if I wanted to keep this girl in my life floated around in my head and made my nerves sing.
“I’ll call the new guy and see if he can hang out for a little bit longer until I get there. It shouldn’t be a problem … and you know I love it when you owe me one, Red.”
She laughed and the warm sound sent bolts of real, honest-to-God happiness shooting throughout my body. She heated me up faster than the best scotch I had ever tasted.
“Paying up is one of my favorite things to do, Asa. I’ll come pick you up at your place when I get off of work, if that’s okay.”
I groaned and told her, “You and those handcuffs. One of these days I’m gonna make good on my threat to use them.”
She laughed again. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you later.”
When I hung up the phone Ayden turned herself completely sideways in her seat and was staring at me like she had never seen me before.
“What?” I knew I sounded surly but I wasn’t ready to have her pick apart my complicated relationship with Royal. It wasn’t like I understood it well enough to offer up an explanation anyways.
“You’re in neck-deep with the cop, aren’t you? Since when do you agree to meet the parents?”
I was in way past my neck. “Pretty much in all the way over my head at this point, and I meet the parents when it matters.”
“Are you scared?” I remembered how hard and fast she had run from Jet when he decided she was the only one for him.
“I’m scared for her. I screw up everything that matters to me, but I’ve been nothing but honest with her and she’s still here. She keeps telling me I’m a risk worth taking.” Which meant I had to make a good impression on her mom, even if it meant dipping into my old bag of tricks. “Royal and her mom are really tight. It was just the two of them growing up, so the mom’s seal of approval would be nice.”
Ayden nodded. “You are a risk worth taking … and so is she. If you stop worrying about what might happen between the two of you and focus on what is happening, you’d be able to see it clear as day. I think you love her but you’re so caught up in the then and so worried about the when that you can’t even see the now.”
“I don’t have a clue how to love someone else, Ayd.”
She reached out and thumped me on the side of the head, which made me scowl as I pulled to a stop in front of the familiar house on Capitol Hill.
“Stop making excuses. You’re too smart for that, Asa. You love me, you love Mom even though she doesn’t deserve it, and I think, finally, after way too long, you are starting to love yourself a little bit. You can love Royal if you allow yourself to.”
Her eyes brightened as the front door to the house opened and a tall guy with messy dark hair and really tight, black jeans came out on the front steps. Jet Keller and all his rock-and-roll ways was not who I would have ever pictured being my sister’s soul mate, but it was there on every feature of her expressive face. He was it for her and always would be. I saw a smile tug at her mouth as she put a hand on the door before she turned back to look at me.
