At Peace
Page 28
I ignored this and finished gunking my hair up with the goo that made it look so good and then rinsed my hands. Then I walked from my bathroom into the bedroom to put on my jewelry, stacking on the silver bangles, putting in my silver hoop earrings, clasping on my silver watch. I spritzed with perfume and turned to the bedroom door.
Joe was leaning in the frame watching me.
At the sight of him, my stomach tied into an instant knot.
I had no idea why he was standing there watching me. I felt all that needed to be said was said so I glanced into his eyes briefly and headed his way expecting, since I said all that needed to be said and I was pretty honest about it, he’d move out of mine.
He didn’t.
I stopped and looked up at him.
His rumbly voice was low when he said, “We should talk, buddy.”
I didn’t want to talk so I replied, “Please move.”
“Violet –”
“Move.”
“We live next door to each other, woman,” he pointed out.
“Yes and you get this done, that’s all there is,” I returned.
He straightened from the frame but stayed in my way and his voice was soft when he said, “It was good.”
I felt my mouth fill with saliva and my sinuses tingle with tears and I swallowed them both down.
“Get out of my way, Joe.”
“We both know we couldn’t take it there.”
I didn’t know that. I didn’t know anything about him. It was only him that knew that.
I didn’t tell him that, I said, “Out of my way.”
“Shit, Violet, it doesn’t have to be like this.”
I felt my head jerk but my eyes stayed pinned to his.
“No? You don’t think so? Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” I leaned into him slightly and went on. “Not man wrong, men think they can f**k anything that moves and just carry on. Let me educate you, Joe, even though you had that scene with Kenzie then weeks later you went through Nadia and God knows who else then moved on to me so you should know but, just in case you haven’t figured it out, women aren’t built that way.”
“That’s your world, buddy, lotsa women are built that way. Nadia for one.”
I didn’t believe that for a second.
Therefore, I said sarcastically, “Right.”
“Right,” he replied.
“You think that but trust me, you’re done with her, she goes home and cries into her Oreos.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know her.”
“Okay, well, I know Kenzie wanted more.”
“Kenzie wanted what Kenzie wanted and she thinks she’ll get it, no matter what it is and she acts out when she doesn’t. Christ, the bitch is thirty-two years old and she’s been married four times.”
This was true, I’d read all about it in magazines.
“Listen,” I told him, deciding it was time to end this conversation and move on, “I was supposed to be at Feb’s twenty minutes ago.”
Joe wasn’t done with the conversation. “It was sex. It’s always sex, just sex. With you, it wasn’t that. I didn’t know you lost your husband. I didn’t know the shit that was goin’ down with you.”
He was making it worse, telling me it was just sex. I knew he thought that, of course, I just didn’t really need it confirmed.
“Now you know, so get out of my way.”
His hand came up, his fingers curling around my neck and he leaned his face into mine.
“Woman, in this life, you have to have learned, you need all the friends you can get. That’s what I’m offerin’, okay?”
God, now he wanted to be my friend. It was like he was reading this shit out of a book, how to be the most insulting you can be without even trying.
I yanked my neck from his hold.
“Fuck off, Joe.”
He shook his head, still didn’t move out of the way and I noticed he looked like he was getting a little angry.
“Joe –”
“You know where I live. The offer’s on the table when you wanna grow up and put it behind you.”
I let these words bounce around in my head for several seconds.
Then instead of letting those words make my head explode, I decided to let them go.
Though, I decided not to let it go graciously. “Don’t hold your breath while waiting for that to happen. Now could you get out of my way?”
He watched me, that something, whatever the hell it was (and I told myself I didn’t care what it was), working behind his eyes. Then he stepped out of my way.
It took a lot out of me and I struggled to keep it together but I managed to walk by him, through the study, into the kitchen to grab my keys and the plate of cupcakes I’d made for the barbeque and out the door without running.
I was pretty proud of myself.
* * * * *
“Okay, so, that, I’ll come out of man hibernation for,” Cheryl announced.
I looked at Cheryl and followed her eyes to see that Joe had joined the barbeque.
Shit.
Cheryl and I were sitting in the grass in the sun in Feb and Colt’s backyard. My legs were out in front of me and I was wearing my little army green skirt and my violet tank top I bought at Lucky with Joe and the girls. I’d helped Feb for a few hours before people showed, making macaroni salad, whipping up devilled eggs, cutting up tomatoes and onions, forming hamburger patties, dumping chips into bowls and then carting it outside to sit on a table under a sideless tent that Colt set up. We did all of this while looking after Feb’s beautiful baby boy Jack and her cat Wilson alternately raced around the house or meowed for the treats Feb refused to give him and also while trying not to trod on the adorable German Shepherd puppy Feb bought Colt for his birthday.
This was their once a year barbeque, marking the coming of summer where they closed down the bar and had a good day with family and friends. All their employees were invited including Darryl who was a bartender, his wife Phylenda and their kids; Ruthie, a waitress; Fritzi, who cleaned the bar in the mornings; and Cheryl who worked behind the bar sometimes but was also a waitress and Cheryl brought her seven year old son, Ethan. Also there were Feb’s brother, Morrie, his wife Dee, their kids Palmer and Tuesday and Feb’s parents, Jack and Jackie. Our neighbors Jeremy and Melinda, Myrtle and Pearl were invited too (Tina and Cory were not but, according to Feb, Cory was on the outs with Tina, on the ins with his wife Bethany, and Tina was nursing her snit, not to mention Feb hated Tina because she was a bitch). Feb’s best friends Jessie (and her husband Jimbo) and Mimi (and her husband Al and their kids) and Colt’s partner Sully (and his wife Lorraine) were also there.
Joe was leaning in the frame watching me.
At the sight of him, my stomach tied into an instant knot.
I had no idea why he was standing there watching me. I felt all that needed to be said was said so I glanced into his eyes briefly and headed his way expecting, since I said all that needed to be said and I was pretty honest about it, he’d move out of mine.
He didn’t.
I stopped and looked up at him.
His rumbly voice was low when he said, “We should talk, buddy.”
I didn’t want to talk so I replied, “Please move.”
“Violet –”
“Move.”
“We live next door to each other, woman,” he pointed out.
“Yes and you get this done, that’s all there is,” I returned.
He straightened from the frame but stayed in my way and his voice was soft when he said, “It was good.”
I felt my mouth fill with saliva and my sinuses tingle with tears and I swallowed them both down.
“Get out of my way, Joe.”
“We both know we couldn’t take it there.”
I didn’t know that. I didn’t know anything about him. It was only him that knew that.
I didn’t tell him that, I said, “Out of my way.”
“Shit, Violet, it doesn’t have to be like this.”
I felt my head jerk but my eyes stayed pinned to his.
“No? You don’t think so? Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” I leaned into him slightly and went on. “Not man wrong, men think they can f**k anything that moves and just carry on. Let me educate you, Joe, even though you had that scene with Kenzie then weeks later you went through Nadia and God knows who else then moved on to me so you should know but, just in case you haven’t figured it out, women aren’t built that way.”
“That’s your world, buddy, lotsa women are built that way. Nadia for one.”
I didn’t believe that for a second.
Therefore, I said sarcastically, “Right.”
“Right,” he replied.
“You think that but trust me, you’re done with her, she goes home and cries into her Oreos.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know her.”
“Okay, well, I know Kenzie wanted more.”
“Kenzie wanted what Kenzie wanted and she thinks she’ll get it, no matter what it is and she acts out when she doesn’t. Christ, the bitch is thirty-two years old and she’s been married four times.”
This was true, I’d read all about it in magazines.
“Listen,” I told him, deciding it was time to end this conversation and move on, “I was supposed to be at Feb’s twenty minutes ago.”
Joe wasn’t done with the conversation. “It was sex. It’s always sex, just sex. With you, it wasn’t that. I didn’t know you lost your husband. I didn’t know the shit that was goin’ down with you.”
He was making it worse, telling me it was just sex. I knew he thought that, of course, I just didn’t really need it confirmed.
“Now you know, so get out of my way.”
His hand came up, his fingers curling around my neck and he leaned his face into mine.
“Woman, in this life, you have to have learned, you need all the friends you can get. That’s what I’m offerin’, okay?”
God, now he wanted to be my friend. It was like he was reading this shit out of a book, how to be the most insulting you can be without even trying.
I yanked my neck from his hold.
“Fuck off, Joe.”
He shook his head, still didn’t move out of the way and I noticed he looked like he was getting a little angry.
“Joe –”
“You know where I live. The offer’s on the table when you wanna grow up and put it behind you.”
I let these words bounce around in my head for several seconds.
Then instead of letting those words make my head explode, I decided to let them go.
Though, I decided not to let it go graciously. “Don’t hold your breath while waiting for that to happen. Now could you get out of my way?”
He watched me, that something, whatever the hell it was (and I told myself I didn’t care what it was), working behind his eyes. Then he stepped out of my way.
It took a lot out of me and I struggled to keep it together but I managed to walk by him, through the study, into the kitchen to grab my keys and the plate of cupcakes I’d made for the barbeque and out the door without running.
I was pretty proud of myself.
* * * * *
“Okay, so, that, I’ll come out of man hibernation for,” Cheryl announced.
I looked at Cheryl and followed her eyes to see that Joe had joined the barbeque.
Shit.
Cheryl and I were sitting in the grass in the sun in Feb and Colt’s backyard. My legs were out in front of me and I was wearing my little army green skirt and my violet tank top I bought at Lucky with Joe and the girls. I’d helped Feb for a few hours before people showed, making macaroni salad, whipping up devilled eggs, cutting up tomatoes and onions, forming hamburger patties, dumping chips into bowls and then carting it outside to sit on a table under a sideless tent that Colt set up. We did all of this while looking after Feb’s beautiful baby boy Jack and her cat Wilson alternately raced around the house or meowed for the treats Feb refused to give him and also while trying not to trod on the adorable German Shepherd puppy Feb bought Colt for his birthday.
This was their once a year barbeque, marking the coming of summer where they closed down the bar and had a good day with family and friends. All their employees were invited including Darryl who was a bartender, his wife Phylenda and their kids; Ruthie, a waitress; Fritzi, who cleaned the bar in the mornings; and Cheryl who worked behind the bar sometimes but was also a waitress and Cheryl brought her seven year old son, Ethan. Also there were Feb’s brother, Morrie, his wife Dee, their kids Palmer and Tuesday and Feb’s parents, Jack and Jackie. Our neighbors Jeremy and Melinda, Myrtle and Pearl were invited too (Tina and Cory were not but, according to Feb, Cory was on the outs with Tina, on the ins with his wife Bethany, and Tina was nursing her snit, not to mention Feb hated Tina because she was a bitch). Feb’s best friends Jessie (and her husband Jimbo) and Mimi (and her husband Al and their kids) and Colt’s partner Sully (and his wife Lorraine) were also there.
