Avoiding Alpha

Page 60

Before I could turn to walk away, he snagged my foot again, and pulled me down on him. “You’re everything to me.”
I tried to sit back, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Please. Just listen. Don’t think too much about it or worry or pick it apart like I know you do.”
“I don’t do that.” It was a total lie.
He brushed the hair back from my face as I stared down at him. “Yes, you do. I can feel your worry. I might not know exactly what you’re thinking right now, but I can feel you go into yourself and dissect everything.”
Crap. This was only going to get worse when we finished the bond in two freaking days. I blew out a breath. “So why are you with me? Why did you pick me? You’re handsome and kind and thoughtful and giving and patient. And I’m just…I’m me.”
He muttered something in French, but I poked him.
“That sure sounds pretty, but I don’t understand a word of it.”
“We’ll have to get you speaking French. It’s much easier to romance someone in a love language.” He pinched my nose. “You think I was like this with everyone?”
“You were. When I first got here, everyone, especially the girls, thought I’d ruined their perfect Dastien.”
“I’m not perfect.” He sighed. “I think you’ve built this up in your head and you’re not seeing yourself clearly. Or us clearly.”
I rested my cheek on his chest. “I think it’s hard because I didn’t know you before. I only know you now.”
“Hmm,” he said. His chest rumbled under me, and I relaxed. “I’ve said it before, that I was restless, but I guess no one else saw that. I wasn’t happy. I felt alone, and it put me on edge. Not because I was alone, I had friends, but because I had too much power. I didn’t have to listen to what Michael said. I didn’t have to obey anyone—except maybe Donovan and Sebastian.”
He ran his hand lazily up and down my spine as he spoke. It made me want to purr with contentment. “For some, it might’ve been fun, but for me, that meant that I had to watch myself. I had to control my emotions. Everyone is responsible for their own actions, but as werewolves, there’s a bit of comfort knowing that while you’re trying to settle into your wolf, that someone is always above you and can keep you in check or help you when you feel out of control. I didn’t have that safety net.”
I sat up to look him in the eyes. “But that’s not anything I can do for you.”
“Yes, you can. You don’t realize the strength within you. Now that you’ve shifted, you’ll feel it more.”
I rolled my eyes at that bit of nonsense. “I’m not stronger than you.”
“I think you might be. Not everyone would handle the change so well. Not just anyone could even survive it. And no one—no one—could’ve done what you did today. You saved her, cherie.”
Dastien ran his hand up and down my spine, and I wanted to lay there with him forever.
“Everything happened fast with us and it’s been an exceptionally rough couple of days. We haven’t spent enough time talking about what’s going to happen this weekend, and that’s my fault. I’d give you more time, but we need to formally finish the bonding before the Tribunal.”
“I know. This thing with Meredith was scary, but it also was a distraction. Now I’m going back to being worried about what’s going to happen.”
“We’re mates. Two halves. They can’t separate us. I won’t let them.” He paused. “You asked me what you do for me. Well, you balance me. I never laughed this much before you came into my life. Sure, you get into crazy situations, but I like being there for you. It makes me happy and keeps things interesting. I like that I can do things for you. Sharing my life with you is like the best Christmas present ever. Don’t doubt what we have.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “You wouldn’t rather be with someone who was a super awesome fighter?”
“Do you want to be a super awesome fighter?”
“No.” He knew I didn’t. We’d been practicing, and I was getting decent, but it wasn’t a passion of mine. “I don’t want to get bitten by a vamp again, but I don’t want to be a Cazador.”
“I’ve done enough fighting for the both of us, and I’ll continue to do it because I like it. But that doesn’t mean you have to. We might be mates, but we don’t have to do everything the same. That would be boring.”