Backstage Pass
Page 49
Sed grinned. “Yeah, I get it. But be happy to see her in private. Okay? We don’t want her to get any death threats.”
“I don’t know how you guys deal with some of this stuff,” Myrna said.
“What stuff?” Brian asked.
“The fans. They honestly believe they know you. That chick who hit me knew more about you than I do. They say they’re in love with you and they mean it. It’s pretty twisted. They’ve never even met you.”
“It gets us lots of pu**y.” Sed grinned.
Myrna chuckled. “I guess so.”
“Are you going to party with us, Myr?” Eric asked.
“Not tonight, Eric. I’ve had a long day. I think I just need to go to bed.”
“I agree,” Brian said.
“We’l just leave you two lovebirds alone.” Trey grabbed Eric by the arm and pul ed him out of the bus.
“Take good care of her, Brian,” Sed said. Jace nodded. They fol owed Trey and Eric out. The fans cheered their return.
“I’m real y sorry about this, Myrna.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“It was worth it. What I real y wanted to do was tel that girl you were mine and she better turn her obsessive attention elsewhere.”
He smiled broadly. “You did?”
“Yeah. Wil you do me a favor?”
“Anything?”
“Go wash off your eyeliner. I want to be with Brian right now. Not Master Sinclair.”
“Can Master Sinclair have a kiss first?”
“I’m not sure. I think my boyfriend might get jealous.”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She clung to his shoulders as he plundered her mouth. When he pul ed away to gaze down at her, her heart throbbed with excitement. “You’re right, Brian is a little jealous,” he said. “But he’s stoked that you cal ed him your boyfriend.”
She shrugged. “Boyfriend I can handle. It’s that m-word I can’t tolerate.”
“Magical?”
“No, magical is fine. It’s that other m-word.”
“Al right,” he said. “Brian promises not to ask for a massage after a show any more, even though he real y, real y enjoys it and was hoping you’d indulge him in a few minutes.”
“You know what I’m talking about. Why do you keep asking me to marry you? It real y bothers me that you joke about it.”
“Who’s joking?”
Her heart skipped a beat. “I hope you are.”
Brian lowered his gaze. “It figures the first woman I ask to marry me thinks I’m joking.”
Her breath caught. “The first?”
“Yeah, the first. Only.”
He moved away from the table and went into the bathroom. Water splashed into the sink. Myrna took a deep breath and climbed to her feet. She had assumed he was the type to ask every girl he liked to marry him. Was she honestly the first? She stil didn’t want to get married—not ever—but she knew she should be more sensitive to his feelings. He couldn’t understand why she kept turning him down. She should probably explain it to him. She fingered the lump on the back of her head and then the long, thick scar beside it.
She fol owed Brian and stood in the bathroom door, watching him scrub off his stage makeup.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought… I didn’t realize you treated me special y.”
He looked at her. “Why wouldn’t I? You are special.”
She snorted. “Brian, you could have any woman you want. There’s nothing special about me at al .”
He shook his head in disagreement. “You sel yourself short, Myr. You’re wonderful. And I don’t want just any woman. I want you, but I guess you’re total y against the idea of marrying me.”
“Brian, I’m not against marrying you. I’m against marrying anyone. Besides, we barely know each other, how could you even contemplate such a crazy idea?”
“Sometimes you just know.”
“Know what?”
“You know when it’s real. This. You and me. This is real. I’ve never had anything that felt so real.”
“And to me it’s not real at al . It’s like a fantasy.”
He looked down at the sink. “Okay, that hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
He looked up at her and smiled sadly. “Don’t apologize for your feelings, Myrna.” He approached her in the doorway and touched her cheek. “I think I know what it is. Tel me about your ex-husband.”
She flinched and turned away from him. He moved behind her and circled her waist with his arms, drawing her up against his body. She didn’t realize she was trembling until his steady strength settled behind her.
“I don’t like to talk about it.” Her trembling increased as flashes of memories assailed her.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re safe.”
Safe.
Brian did make her feel safe. And for that, she’d tel him a little so he would understand there wasn’t anything wrong with him. It was her. “Jeremy was a good man when I married him. He just drank sometimes, and when he was drunk, he became a different person. At first, he got bel igerent every couple of months. And then, every couple of weeks. At the end, he was drunk every night. He’d accuse me of things, things I’d never done, never even considered doing. He thought I was having affairs. He was paranoid. Cruel. When I denied it, he’d—” A broken sob cut off her words.
She dashed away her tears. Why was she crying? She hadn’t cried over Jeremy in years. She’d left him in her past. He couldn’t hurt her anymore. But even she recognized that as a lie. He hurt her every day.
Brian turned her around and held her against his chest.
She wrapped her arms around him, drawing on his strength. “He’d threaten me until I admitted doing whatever he accused me of. Fucking some guy. Touching or flirting with or even looking at some guy with too much interest.” Myrna looked up at Brian and his face blurred behind her tears. “You have to believe me, Brian. I never. I would never. I didn’t cheat. Not once. I never even considered it.” Her fingers curled into his shirt.
Brian’s arms tightened around her. “I believe you.” He rubbed his lips against the side of her head. “Did he hit you?”
“I don’t know how you guys deal with some of this stuff,” Myrna said.
“What stuff?” Brian asked.
“The fans. They honestly believe they know you. That chick who hit me knew more about you than I do. They say they’re in love with you and they mean it. It’s pretty twisted. They’ve never even met you.”
“It gets us lots of pu**y.” Sed grinned.
Myrna chuckled. “I guess so.”
“Are you going to party with us, Myr?” Eric asked.
“Not tonight, Eric. I’ve had a long day. I think I just need to go to bed.”
“I agree,” Brian said.
“We’l just leave you two lovebirds alone.” Trey grabbed Eric by the arm and pul ed him out of the bus.
“Take good care of her, Brian,” Sed said. Jace nodded. They fol owed Trey and Eric out. The fans cheered their return.
“I’m real y sorry about this, Myrna.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“It was worth it. What I real y wanted to do was tel that girl you were mine and she better turn her obsessive attention elsewhere.”
He smiled broadly. “You did?”
“Yeah. Wil you do me a favor?”
“Anything?”
“Go wash off your eyeliner. I want to be with Brian right now. Not Master Sinclair.”
“Can Master Sinclair have a kiss first?”
“I’m not sure. I think my boyfriend might get jealous.”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She clung to his shoulders as he plundered her mouth. When he pul ed away to gaze down at her, her heart throbbed with excitement. “You’re right, Brian is a little jealous,” he said. “But he’s stoked that you cal ed him your boyfriend.”
She shrugged. “Boyfriend I can handle. It’s that m-word I can’t tolerate.”
“Magical?”
“No, magical is fine. It’s that other m-word.”
“Al right,” he said. “Brian promises not to ask for a massage after a show any more, even though he real y, real y enjoys it and was hoping you’d indulge him in a few minutes.”
“You know what I’m talking about. Why do you keep asking me to marry you? It real y bothers me that you joke about it.”
“Who’s joking?”
Her heart skipped a beat. “I hope you are.”
Brian lowered his gaze. “It figures the first woman I ask to marry me thinks I’m joking.”
Her breath caught. “The first?”
“Yeah, the first. Only.”
He moved away from the table and went into the bathroom. Water splashed into the sink. Myrna took a deep breath and climbed to her feet. She had assumed he was the type to ask every girl he liked to marry him. Was she honestly the first? She stil didn’t want to get married—not ever—but she knew she should be more sensitive to his feelings. He couldn’t understand why she kept turning him down. She should probably explain it to him. She fingered the lump on the back of her head and then the long, thick scar beside it.
She fol owed Brian and stood in the bathroom door, watching him scrub off his stage makeup.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought… I didn’t realize you treated me special y.”
He looked at her. “Why wouldn’t I? You are special.”
She snorted. “Brian, you could have any woman you want. There’s nothing special about me at al .”
He shook his head in disagreement. “You sel yourself short, Myr. You’re wonderful. And I don’t want just any woman. I want you, but I guess you’re total y against the idea of marrying me.”
“Brian, I’m not against marrying you. I’m against marrying anyone. Besides, we barely know each other, how could you even contemplate such a crazy idea?”
“Sometimes you just know.”
“Know what?”
“You know when it’s real. This. You and me. This is real. I’ve never had anything that felt so real.”
“And to me it’s not real at al . It’s like a fantasy.”
He looked down at the sink. “Okay, that hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
He looked up at her and smiled sadly. “Don’t apologize for your feelings, Myrna.” He approached her in the doorway and touched her cheek. “I think I know what it is. Tel me about your ex-husband.”
She flinched and turned away from him. He moved behind her and circled her waist with his arms, drawing her up against his body. She didn’t realize she was trembling until his steady strength settled behind her.
“I don’t like to talk about it.” Her trembling increased as flashes of memories assailed her.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re safe.”
Safe.
Brian did make her feel safe. And for that, she’d tel him a little so he would understand there wasn’t anything wrong with him. It was her. “Jeremy was a good man when I married him. He just drank sometimes, and when he was drunk, he became a different person. At first, he got bel igerent every couple of months. And then, every couple of weeks. At the end, he was drunk every night. He’d accuse me of things, things I’d never done, never even considered doing. He thought I was having affairs. He was paranoid. Cruel. When I denied it, he’d—” A broken sob cut off her words.
She dashed away her tears. Why was she crying? She hadn’t cried over Jeremy in years. She’d left him in her past. He couldn’t hurt her anymore. But even she recognized that as a lie. He hurt her every day.
Brian turned her around and held her against his chest.
She wrapped her arms around him, drawing on his strength. “He’d threaten me until I admitted doing whatever he accused me of. Fucking some guy. Touching or flirting with or even looking at some guy with too much interest.” Myrna looked up at Brian and his face blurred behind her tears. “You have to believe me, Brian. I never. I would never. I didn’t cheat. Not once. I never even considered it.” Her fingers curled into his shirt.
Brian’s arms tightened around her. “I believe you.” He rubbed his lips against the side of her head. “Did he hit you?”