Backstage Pass
Page 67
Four pairs of eyes turned toward Brian. Control your chick, they seemed to say. She pointed to her foot. “Would someone like to tel me what just dripped out of a beer can onto my foot?”
“A loogie?” Trey guessed.
“As in phlegm?” Myra sputtered. “Oh. My. God.”
Brian tossed her a dirty shirt, which smel ed like ass, and she used it to wipe the slimy mess off her foot. It wouldn’t surprise her to see one of the guys wearing that very shirt the next day.
“This place is disgusting,” she said. “The five of you are going to clean this bus from top to bottom and it’s going to stay clean or I’m going to smother every last one of you in your sleep.” She kicked a beer can out of her path.
“Myr—” Sed began.
She lifted her hand to silence him. “We’re going to start with that disgusting refrigerator. Al that moldy takeout food has to go. And then I’m going shopping for some real food. I am sick of fast food.”
At the mention of food, the guys’ expressions shifted from abject horror to mild interest.
“Real food?” Jace whispered, as if they were speaking a foreign language he’d never heard.
“Yeah, real food. Meat, vegetables, pasta, fruit, liquid milk. I don’t mind cooking for al of you, and the roadies too, but you guys wil clean this bus and keep it clean. I can’t live like this anymore.”
“Yes, mommy,” Eric said. “Wil you spank my tushie if I’m a bad boy?”
He stood, turned around, and presented his butt to her.
“I’l only spank your tushie,if you’re a good boy, Eric Sticks,” she said, “which I think is pretty much never.”
Eric’s lower lip protruded in an exaggerated pout.
She pul ed a black garbage bag out of a drawer and tossed it at Jace. He caught it, blinking hard as he always did when something surprised him.
“Everything goes,” she said.
“Except the beer,” Sed said.
“Put your beer on the other bus. Keep your party pigsty over there. Over here, we’l have a peaceful, clean home.”
“This is bul shit,” Sed said. He looked at Brian. “Dude…”
“I think it’s a good idea,” Brian said.
“Me, too,” said Trey. “Wil you spank me if I’m good, Myrna?”
She smiled at him. “You’re always good, Trey.”
Everyone laughed at her false statement, except Jace. Jace was already braving the refrigerator. Without a hazmat suit. He tossed things in the garbage bag without even looking at them. Sed rescued the beer, setting bottles and cans al along the stained and cluttered counter.
Myrna touched Sed’s arm. “I hope you don’t mind me bossing your boys around.”
He grinned crookedly, showing a dimple. She’d forgotten he had dimples. He didn’t smile that broadly often. “They do miss their mommies sometimes. I’d love a home cooked meal, to be honest.”
“Then you get to pick the first one. Assuming I can cook it.”
“Pork chops,” he said.
“And mashed potatoes!” Trey cal ed, helping Jace empty the refrigerator. He opened the freezer, cringed and closed it again.
“Asparagus?” Eric asked hopeful y.
“Yeah, asparagus sounds excel ent,” Sed agreed.
“That I can do. I’m going shopping. Who wants to come?”
Al five men lined up in front of her. She grinned, deciding they probably just wanted to get out of cleaning. “My car is a coupe, guys. I only have room for one. The rest of you stay here and clean out that refrigerator. Come on, Brian.”
“Why does Brian automatical y get to go?” Eric complained.
“I’m her boyfriend. Duh.”
“We can take my bike,” Jace offered. “I’l fol ow.”
“I’l ride with you,” Trey said to Jace.
“And Myrna can sit on my lap in the car.” Eric snagged her around the waist and tugged her against his side. “I won’t mind.”
“I’m not f**kin’ staying here by myself.” Sed slammed the refrigerator door.
The five of them stared at her like puppies at a pound desperate to be adopted. Pick me. Pick me!
Like she could say no to any of them. “Fine. We’l find a way to fit, but when we get back, you’re cleaning. Al of you.” Her eyes drifted over her companions. They’d stand out more than usual in this podunk town. “Do you think you al need disguises? Otherwise we’l have to fight off fans.”
“We’re in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Wyoming,” Trey said.
“This town has like, twelve hundred people,” Eric said. “And I think most of them live in the old folks’ home.”
“What? You don’t think the elderly listen to metal?” Myrna asked.
“We’l take a chance,” Trey said.
Trey settled on the back of Jace’s motorcycle. The rest of the guys crammed themselves into Myrna’s little Thunderbird. With Brian driving, Eric sitting in the middle, and Sed on the passenger side, Myrna was forced to sit partial y on Sed and Eric’s laps. She spent most of the short drive moving Eric’s hands from inappropriate locations. Sed thumped him upside the head on occasion. “Wil you leave her alone?”
“I hope we don’t get pul ed over,” Myrna said. “We look like a group of thugs on our way to rob a bank.”
Brian laughed. “Yeah. Except our getaway car is frickin’ pink and worth more than Sed’s dental work.”
Sed grinned like a shark to show off his perfect teeth.
They found a family-owned grocery store near the edge of town. Brian pul ed into the parking lot and Jace’s bike rumbled in after them.
Eric grabbed Myrna in a tight embrace on his lap, while Sed unfolded his 6 foot 4 frame from the little car. Brian climbed from the driver’s seat and offered a hand to Myrna to help her out of the car.
“We’re good, thanks,” Eric said, squeezing her closer. “See you when you get back.”
Myrna slid a hand up Eric’s neck into his black hair. He had the craziest haircut she’d ever seen. It was long on one side and down the back, yet shaved to stubble on the other side. A ridge of spikes along the top separated the stubble from the long strands. The finger-thick lock that curled around his throat changed color on occasion. Today it was a deep blue. A week ago, it had been crimson red. His hair suited him, she supposed, but he should sue his hairstylist. As her fingers intertwined in the long strands at the nape of his neck, he glanced down at her, his eyes wide in surprise.
“A loogie?” Trey guessed.
“As in phlegm?” Myra sputtered. “Oh. My. God.”
Brian tossed her a dirty shirt, which smel ed like ass, and she used it to wipe the slimy mess off her foot. It wouldn’t surprise her to see one of the guys wearing that very shirt the next day.
“This place is disgusting,” she said. “The five of you are going to clean this bus from top to bottom and it’s going to stay clean or I’m going to smother every last one of you in your sleep.” She kicked a beer can out of her path.
“Myr—” Sed began.
She lifted her hand to silence him. “We’re going to start with that disgusting refrigerator. Al that moldy takeout food has to go. And then I’m going shopping for some real food. I am sick of fast food.”
At the mention of food, the guys’ expressions shifted from abject horror to mild interest.
“Real food?” Jace whispered, as if they were speaking a foreign language he’d never heard.
“Yeah, real food. Meat, vegetables, pasta, fruit, liquid milk. I don’t mind cooking for al of you, and the roadies too, but you guys wil clean this bus and keep it clean. I can’t live like this anymore.”
“Yes, mommy,” Eric said. “Wil you spank my tushie if I’m a bad boy?”
He stood, turned around, and presented his butt to her.
“I’l only spank your tushie,if you’re a good boy, Eric Sticks,” she said, “which I think is pretty much never.”
Eric’s lower lip protruded in an exaggerated pout.
She pul ed a black garbage bag out of a drawer and tossed it at Jace. He caught it, blinking hard as he always did when something surprised him.
“Everything goes,” she said.
“Except the beer,” Sed said.
“Put your beer on the other bus. Keep your party pigsty over there. Over here, we’l have a peaceful, clean home.”
“This is bul shit,” Sed said. He looked at Brian. “Dude…”
“I think it’s a good idea,” Brian said.
“Me, too,” said Trey. “Wil you spank me if I’m good, Myrna?”
She smiled at him. “You’re always good, Trey.”
Everyone laughed at her false statement, except Jace. Jace was already braving the refrigerator. Without a hazmat suit. He tossed things in the garbage bag without even looking at them. Sed rescued the beer, setting bottles and cans al along the stained and cluttered counter.
Myrna touched Sed’s arm. “I hope you don’t mind me bossing your boys around.”
He grinned crookedly, showing a dimple. She’d forgotten he had dimples. He didn’t smile that broadly often. “They do miss their mommies sometimes. I’d love a home cooked meal, to be honest.”
“Then you get to pick the first one. Assuming I can cook it.”
“Pork chops,” he said.
“And mashed potatoes!” Trey cal ed, helping Jace empty the refrigerator. He opened the freezer, cringed and closed it again.
“Asparagus?” Eric asked hopeful y.
“Yeah, asparagus sounds excel ent,” Sed agreed.
“That I can do. I’m going shopping. Who wants to come?”
Al five men lined up in front of her. She grinned, deciding they probably just wanted to get out of cleaning. “My car is a coupe, guys. I only have room for one. The rest of you stay here and clean out that refrigerator. Come on, Brian.”
“Why does Brian automatical y get to go?” Eric complained.
“I’m her boyfriend. Duh.”
“We can take my bike,” Jace offered. “I’l fol ow.”
“I’l ride with you,” Trey said to Jace.
“And Myrna can sit on my lap in the car.” Eric snagged her around the waist and tugged her against his side. “I won’t mind.”
“I’m not f**kin’ staying here by myself.” Sed slammed the refrigerator door.
The five of them stared at her like puppies at a pound desperate to be adopted. Pick me. Pick me!
Like she could say no to any of them. “Fine. We’l find a way to fit, but when we get back, you’re cleaning. Al of you.” Her eyes drifted over her companions. They’d stand out more than usual in this podunk town. “Do you think you al need disguises? Otherwise we’l have to fight off fans.”
“We’re in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Wyoming,” Trey said.
“This town has like, twelve hundred people,” Eric said. “And I think most of them live in the old folks’ home.”
“What? You don’t think the elderly listen to metal?” Myrna asked.
“We’l take a chance,” Trey said.
Trey settled on the back of Jace’s motorcycle. The rest of the guys crammed themselves into Myrna’s little Thunderbird. With Brian driving, Eric sitting in the middle, and Sed on the passenger side, Myrna was forced to sit partial y on Sed and Eric’s laps. She spent most of the short drive moving Eric’s hands from inappropriate locations. Sed thumped him upside the head on occasion. “Wil you leave her alone?”
“I hope we don’t get pul ed over,” Myrna said. “We look like a group of thugs on our way to rob a bank.”
Brian laughed. “Yeah. Except our getaway car is frickin’ pink and worth more than Sed’s dental work.”
Sed grinned like a shark to show off his perfect teeth.
They found a family-owned grocery store near the edge of town. Brian pul ed into the parking lot and Jace’s bike rumbled in after them.
Eric grabbed Myrna in a tight embrace on his lap, while Sed unfolded his 6 foot 4 frame from the little car. Brian climbed from the driver’s seat and offered a hand to Myrna to help her out of the car.
“We’re good, thanks,” Eric said, squeezing her closer. “See you when you get back.”
Myrna slid a hand up Eric’s neck into his black hair. He had the craziest haircut she’d ever seen. It was long on one side and down the back, yet shaved to stubble on the other side. A ridge of spikes along the top separated the stubble from the long strands. The finger-thick lock that curled around his throat changed color on occasion. Today it was a deep blue. A week ago, it had been crimson red. His hair suited him, she supposed, but he should sue his hairstylist. As her fingers intertwined in the long strands at the nape of his neck, he glanced down at her, his eyes wide in surprise.
