Bad Rep
Page 103
Chapter Twenty-Seven
To say I was depressed was a massive understatement. The week after Jordan and I broke up found me barely getting out of bed, blowing off classes, only eating when Riley forced me to. I hadn't seen a shower in three days but I was way passed caring.
I had f**ked up. Why had I f**ked up? Because I was angry. And scared. And I had allowed other people to influence how I felt about the one person who mattered most to me. I was a complete and total idiot.
Jordan hadn't called. I checked my phone obsessively. Even going so far as to sleep with it in my hand. Every morning I checked to see if he had called or sent me a text. Every day began with the same gripping disappointment because he never did.
But why would he? I had thrown him out of my apartment after he had given me some of the most amazing sex of my life. I was an ass. And now I was a lonely ass.
I started skipping my classes and my grades were taking a nose dive. I avoided all calls from my parents. I purposefully ignored Gracie and Vivian's efforts to reach me. I locked myself in my room and wallowed. One thing was for certain. I was a world class moper.
The hours felt like weeks. The days felt like years. I missed him. I ached for him. But I was scared to do anything about it. Because I had shattered what was between us into tiny, itty bitty slivers. My parents were right and I was a grade A screw up.
“It smells like misery in here,” Riley remarked, poking her head around the door of my bedroom. I was curled on my side, staring at my blank phone, willing it to ring. I mumbled something unintelligible. Riley sighed and ventured inside. She sat down on the edge of my bed and took my phone, placing it on my nightstand.
“When was the last time you showered?” she asked, scrunching up her nose. I gave myself a whiff. Man, I was ripe. Riley made a face. “I think it's time you start bathing again. Do society a favor,” she said. I sat up and ran my fingers through my greasy hair.
“Fine,” I huffed, getting up.
“And shave, Mays. You're growing a forest on your legs,” Riley called after me as I went into the bathroom. The shower didn't make me feel better. But, Riley was right, I was bordering on gross.
I wrapped up in my robe and went into the kitchen where Riley handed me a turkey sandwich. “Eat,” she commanded, leveling me a look that brooked no argument. I took the plate and held it limply in my hands. Riley rolled her eyes. “You lift the food and put it in your mouth. Like this.” Riley took a bite of her own sandwich and chewed with exaggerated slowness.
Normally I would have snarked back at her. This time I just did as I was told and ate a few bites of the sandwich. My stomach rebelled after being empty for so long. “Jeesh, Maysie. You're a wreck.” Riley said after watching me struggle to keep down the food.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically, putting the plate down on the counter.
Riley slammed her dishes into the sink and turned to give me a hard core glare. “Why do you do this?” she asked angrily.
“What?” I asked indifferently.
“You know what. This.” She waved her hand in my direction.
I shrugged, not bothering to answer. Riley groaned. “You're forcing me to use tough love,” she muttered. She grabbed me by my shoulders and gave me a less than gentle shake. “Snap out of this. Stop turning into a zombie every time your life gets a little f**ked up. It's sad and more than a little pathetic. First with that Chi Delta shit, now with Jordan. Enough!” she yelled in my face.
I didn't flinch. My face was impassive as I took her frustration and chucked it away. What did I care that she was angry? Everyone was angry with me. What else was new? Then Riley slapped me. I gasped in shock and lifted my hand to cover my stinging skin. “What the hell?” I snapped, my blood pressure rising.
“There it is! There's the Maysie Ardin I know.” She pointed in my face. Crap, my cheek hurt.
“There is no reason to hit me,” I bit out, feeling the first signs of emotion wash through me. After a week of being dead to all feeling but grief, it felt kind of good to be pissed.
Riley reached up and took a handful of my hair and gave it a yank. “Ow!” I yelped, pulling away from my psychotic roommate.
“What are you going to do about it? Huh?” Riley pulled my hair again and this time I shoved her.
“Stop it! Leave my f**king hair alone!” I yelled. Oh yeah, I was mad.
Instead of backing away, Riley threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She stepped back, grinning. “Nice to see you again. I've missed you,” she said proudly, clearly pleased that she was able to get a response out of me. I couldn't help but smile at my whacked out friend.
“That was dirty. Even for you,” I admitted gruffly, rubbing my throbbing scalp. The girl was a scrappy fighter.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. I did the same thing to Jordan yesterday,” she told me, smirking. My stomach flip flopped at the mention of Jordan but I struggled to smile anyway.
“Oh yeah?” I had to ask. I longed for news of him. Just hearing his name was enough to give my heart a lift.
Riley pulled out a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies and crammed one in her mouth. “He's been moping around almost worse than you. His tips have been shit because all he does is bark at everyone. Hell, he almost took Damien's head off the other day for asking what time it was,” Riley said, clearly irritated with the whole thing.
Well, that made me feel like crap warmed over. “I'm not sure what to say about that,” I said miserably. Riley shook me again.
To say I was depressed was a massive understatement. The week after Jordan and I broke up found me barely getting out of bed, blowing off classes, only eating when Riley forced me to. I hadn't seen a shower in three days but I was way passed caring.
I had f**ked up. Why had I f**ked up? Because I was angry. And scared. And I had allowed other people to influence how I felt about the one person who mattered most to me. I was a complete and total idiot.
Jordan hadn't called. I checked my phone obsessively. Even going so far as to sleep with it in my hand. Every morning I checked to see if he had called or sent me a text. Every day began with the same gripping disappointment because he never did.
But why would he? I had thrown him out of my apartment after he had given me some of the most amazing sex of my life. I was an ass. And now I was a lonely ass.
I started skipping my classes and my grades were taking a nose dive. I avoided all calls from my parents. I purposefully ignored Gracie and Vivian's efforts to reach me. I locked myself in my room and wallowed. One thing was for certain. I was a world class moper.
The hours felt like weeks. The days felt like years. I missed him. I ached for him. But I was scared to do anything about it. Because I had shattered what was between us into tiny, itty bitty slivers. My parents were right and I was a grade A screw up.
“It smells like misery in here,” Riley remarked, poking her head around the door of my bedroom. I was curled on my side, staring at my blank phone, willing it to ring. I mumbled something unintelligible. Riley sighed and ventured inside. She sat down on the edge of my bed and took my phone, placing it on my nightstand.
“When was the last time you showered?” she asked, scrunching up her nose. I gave myself a whiff. Man, I was ripe. Riley made a face. “I think it's time you start bathing again. Do society a favor,” she said. I sat up and ran my fingers through my greasy hair.
“Fine,” I huffed, getting up.
“And shave, Mays. You're growing a forest on your legs,” Riley called after me as I went into the bathroom. The shower didn't make me feel better. But, Riley was right, I was bordering on gross.
I wrapped up in my robe and went into the kitchen where Riley handed me a turkey sandwich. “Eat,” she commanded, leveling me a look that brooked no argument. I took the plate and held it limply in my hands. Riley rolled her eyes. “You lift the food and put it in your mouth. Like this.” Riley took a bite of her own sandwich and chewed with exaggerated slowness.
Normally I would have snarked back at her. This time I just did as I was told and ate a few bites of the sandwich. My stomach rebelled after being empty for so long. “Jeesh, Maysie. You're a wreck.” Riley said after watching me struggle to keep down the food.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically, putting the plate down on the counter.
Riley slammed her dishes into the sink and turned to give me a hard core glare. “Why do you do this?” she asked angrily.
“What?” I asked indifferently.
“You know what. This.” She waved her hand in my direction.
I shrugged, not bothering to answer. Riley groaned. “You're forcing me to use tough love,” she muttered. She grabbed me by my shoulders and gave me a less than gentle shake. “Snap out of this. Stop turning into a zombie every time your life gets a little f**ked up. It's sad and more than a little pathetic. First with that Chi Delta shit, now with Jordan. Enough!” she yelled in my face.
I didn't flinch. My face was impassive as I took her frustration and chucked it away. What did I care that she was angry? Everyone was angry with me. What else was new? Then Riley slapped me. I gasped in shock and lifted my hand to cover my stinging skin. “What the hell?” I snapped, my blood pressure rising.
“There it is! There's the Maysie Ardin I know.” She pointed in my face. Crap, my cheek hurt.
“There is no reason to hit me,” I bit out, feeling the first signs of emotion wash through me. After a week of being dead to all feeling but grief, it felt kind of good to be pissed.
Riley reached up and took a handful of my hair and gave it a yank. “Ow!” I yelped, pulling away from my psychotic roommate.
“What are you going to do about it? Huh?” Riley pulled my hair again and this time I shoved her.
“Stop it! Leave my f**king hair alone!” I yelled. Oh yeah, I was mad.
Instead of backing away, Riley threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She stepped back, grinning. “Nice to see you again. I've missed you,” she said proudly, clearly pleased that she was able to get a response out of me. I couldn't help but smile at my whacked out friend.
“That was dirty. Even for you,” I admitted gruffly, rubbing my throbbing scalp. The girl was a scrappy fighter.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. I did the same thing to Jordan yesterday,” she told me, smirking. My stomach flip flopped at the mention of Jordan but I struggled to smile anyway.
“Oh yeah?” I had to ask. I longed for news of him. Just hearing his name was enough to give my heart a lift.
Riley pulled out a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies and crammed one in her mouth. “He's been moping around almost worse than you. His tips have been shit because all he does is bark at everyone. Hell, he almost took Damien's head off the other day for asking what time it was,” Riley said, clearly irritated with the whole thing.
Well, that made me feel like crap warmed over. “I'm not sure what to say about that,” I said miserably. Riley shook me again.
