Bad Rep
Page 39
He talked about staying in town after he graduated and playing with Generation Rejects. That seemed to be where his passion lay. His face lit up when he talked about playing shows and his dream of making music for a living.
“My dad would never go for it though. I've been told enough times, by a lot of people, that I need to concentrate on making a proper living and not put my energies into something that will never happen.” He sounded sad and I couldn't help myself from reaching over and putting my hand on his. Jordan turned his hand so that he pressed his palm against mine and laced our fingers together. It felt right. As though our hands were meant to hold each other.
“Are you an only child? Or do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked. Jordan shook his head.
“Nope, just me. So I am the lone recipient of my dad's disappointment.” He let out a frustrated breath. I squeezed his hand before pulling away.
“The only child club kind of sucks sometimes, huh?” I asked lightly. Jordan cocked his head to the side.
“You too?” he asked. I took another bite of my eclair.
“Present and counted for. My parents were older when they had me. My mom was forty-two, my dad almost fifty. They didn't think they'd be able to have any kids. So when I happened, I became their sole focus. Their last ditch effort at realizing their dreams.” I admitted harshly.
Jordan's eyes didn't hold an ounce of judgment and he looked at me as if he got what I was saying. “My dad is this uber successful guy, you know? He has this amazing career that he worked his whole life to have. He came from nothing and he thinks I'm throwing away all of the opportunities he never had. He calls me a f**k up because I'd rather play drums than stare at math problems all day.” Jordan said, sounding unhappy. I understood exactly where he was coming from.
My whole life I had tried so hard to be someone my parents could be proud of. I could never be enough or do enough to make them happy. My dad hated the fact that I was in a sorority and that's why he refused to help pay the dues. My mom, while she loved the thought of me finally being popular, sided with my dad in thinking it was a foolish waste of time. They never failed to let me know that they thought I should be 100 percent focused on school. My dad was a teacher and my mom was a nurse. They were totally dedicated to what they did. So having a daughter who sort of flew halfcocked through life wasn't their ideal.
“Disappointing your parents sucks.” I said softly. Jordan's eyes sparkled at me and I felt we connected in that moment.
“It sure does,” he agreed quietly, staring into my eyes intently before I finally had to look away.
I cleared my throat, trying to dispel whatever was building between us. I gripped my hands tightly together, staring down at the table top. “You know, I say do what you want. You have to do what makes you happy,” I said.
Jordan smiled. “That's what I'm trying to do,” he said quietly and I had a feeling he was talking about more than just his music.
My phone started vibrating in my pocket, the sound of Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper, blaring.
“Love the ring tone,” Jordan said smiling as I pulled out my phone. I looked down and saw that it was Gracie.
“Hello?” I had an overwhelming urge to throttle Gracie for interrupting such a great moment.
“Where the hell are you?” she yelled into the phone.
“Whoa, calm down. What's up?” I asked, shooting Jordan an apologetic smile.
“The rush event starts in two hours and Vivian is freaking out. Nothing is set up and the costumes are a mess. You've got to get to the house right now.”
I sighed. “I'm on my way,” I assured her and hung up.
I tucked my phone away and got up. “Sorority crisis?” Jordan asked.
“As always,” I deadpanned, grabbing my purse. We left the coffee shop and headed to our respective vehicles. “Thanks for the coffee. I enjoyed hanging out,” I told him sincerely. Jordan leaned against his motorcycle, balancing the helmet against his thighs.
“Me too. It feels like it took too long to get here. I hate that things have been weird between us. I never wanted that,” he said a little sadly.
“Me either,” I admitted, feeling that magnetic pull between us intensify. My phone buzzed in my pocket again and I pulled it out. I didn't bother to read the text that Gracie had just sent. “I've gotta go. Duty calls. I guess I'll see you on Saturday?” I asked, before getting into my car.
“Yep. See ya Saturday,” he called back, throwing his leg over the seat of his motorcycle and revving it up. He gave me a final wave before taking off down the street and I headed toward the Chi Delta house and two hours of drama.
Chapter Eleven
Rush week was a raging success. We had sent out eight bids and each girl had accepted. I finally, after months, felt like I belonged with my sisters. It felt good to help contribute to something that benefited the sisterhood. Most of the girls had made it a point to tell Vivian and I how great of a job we had done. The skit was fantastic and it had all fallen into place. Even with the massive amounts of anxiety and stressing. I had even received a call from my Big Sis in Chi Delta, Caryn, who had graduated last year and now lived in California. She wanted to congratulate me on completing my first rush week as co-chair. So all in all, I was feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
And seriously exhausted. By Saturday afternoon I was ready to drop. But my day was far from over. I had just gotten back to my apartment after being at the house all morning for Bid's Day activities. The new girls had been excited and their enthusiasm reminded me of why I had joined Chi Delta in the first place. I hated to admit that I had started doubting my reasons for signing on with a sorority. But today reaffirmed that these girls were my friends and I belonged.
“My dad would never go for it though. I've been told enough times, by a lot of people, that I need to concentrate on making a proper living and not put my energies into something that will never happen.” He sounded sad and I couldn't help myself from reaching over and putting my hand on his. Jordan turned his hand so that he pressed his palm against mine and laced our fingers together. It felt right. As though our hands were meant to hold each other.
“Are you an only child? Or do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked. Jordan shook his head.
“Nope, just me. So I am the lone recipient of my dad's disappointment.” He let out a frustrated breath. I squeezed his hand before pulling away.
“The only child club kind of sucks sometimes, huh?” I asked lightly. Jordan cocked his head to the side.
“You too?” he asked. I took another bite of my eclair.
“Present and counted for. My parents were older when they had me. My mom was forty-two, my dad almost fifty. They didn't think they'd be able to have any kids. So when I happened, I became their sole focus. Their last ditch effort at realizing their dreams.” I admitted harshly.
Jordan's eyes didn't hold an ounce of judgment and he looked at me as if he got what I was saying. “My dad is this uber successful guy, you know? He has this amazing career that he worked his whole life to have. He came from nothing and he thinks I'm throwing away all of the opportunities he never had. He calls me a f**k up because I'd rather play drums than stare at math problems all day.” Jordan said, sounding unhappy. I understood exactly where he was coming from.
My whole life I had tried so hard to be someone my parents could be proud of. I could never be enough or do enough to make them happy. My dad hated the fact that I was in a sorority and that's why he refused to help pay the dues. My mom, while she loved the thought of me finally being popular, sided with my dad in thinking it was a foolish waste of time. They never failed to let me know that they thought I should be 100 percent focused on school. My dad was a teacher and my mom was a nurse. They were totally dedicated to what they did. So having a daughter who sort of flew halfcocked through life wasn't their ideal.
“Disappointing your parents sucks.” I said softly. Jordan's eyes sparkled at me and I felt we connected in that moment.
“It sure does,” he agreed quietly, staring into my eyes intently before I finally had to look away.
I cleared my throat, trying to dispel whatever was building between us. I gripped my hands tightly together, staring down at the table top. “You know, I say do what you want. You have to do what makes you happy,” I said.
Jordan smiled. “That's what I'm trying to do,” he said quietly and I had a feeling he was talking about more than just his music.
My phone started vibrating in my pocket, the sound of Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper, blaring.
“Love the ring tone,” Jordan said smiling as I pulled out my phone. I looked down and saw that it was Gracie.
“Hello?” I had an overwhelming urge to throttle Gracie for interrupting such a great moment.
“Where the hell are you?” she yelled into the phone.
“Whoa, calm down. What's up?” I asked, shooting Jordan an apologetic smile.
“The rush event starts in two hours and Vivian is freaking out. Nothing is set up and the costumes are a mess. You've got to get to the house right now.”
I sighed. “I'm on my way,” I assured her and hung up.
I tucked my phone away and got up. “Sorority crisis?” Jordan asked.
“As always,” I deadpanned, grabbing my purse. We left the coffee shop and headed to our respective vehicles. “Thanks for the coffee. I enjoyed hanging out,” I told him sincerely. Jordan leaned against his motorcycle, balancing the helmet against his thighs.
“Me too. It feels like it took too long to get here. I hate that things have been weird between us. I never wanted that,” he said a little sadly.
“Me either,” I admitted, feeling that magnetic pull between us intensify. My phone buzzed in my pocket again and I pulled it out. I didn't bother to read the text that Gracie had just sent. “I've gotta go. Duty calls. I guess I'll see you on Saturday?” I asked, before getting into my car.
“Yep. See ya Saturday,” he called back, throwing his leg over the seat of his motorcycle and revving it up. He gave me a final wave before taking off down the street and I headed toward the Chi Delta house and two hours of drama.
Chapter Eleven
Rush week was a raging success. We had sent out eight bids and each girl had accepted. I finally, after months, felt like I belonged with my sisters. It felt good to help contribute to something that benefited the sisterhood. Most of the girls had made it a point to tell Vivian and I how great of a job we had done. The skit was fantastic and it had all fallen into place. Even with the massive amounts of anxiety and stressing. I had even received a call from my Big Sis in Chi Delta, Caryn, who had graduated last year and now lived in California. She wanted to congratulate me on completing my first rush week as co-chair. So all in all, I was feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
And seriously exhausted. By Saturday afternoon I was ready to drop. But my day was far from over. I had just gotten back to my apartment after being at the house all morning for Bid's Day activities. The new girls had been excited and their enthusiasm reminded me of why I had joined Chi Delta in the first place. I hated to admit that I had started doubting my reasons for signing on with a sorority. But today reaffirmed that these girls were my friends and I belonged.
