Beautiful Chaos
Page 58
I wanted him to exist away from my English teacher.
She must have understood what my dad didn’t, that I really didn’t want to see her as anything but my teacher, because as soon as I tried to go, Lilian English disappeared and Mrs. English took her place. “Ethan, don’t forget I need the outline for your essay on The Crucible. On my desk by the end of class tomorrow, please. You, too, Miss Duchannes.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I expect you have a thesis already?”
I nodded, but I had completely forgotten an essay was due, let alone an outline. English wasn’t high on my list of priorities lately.
“And?” Mrs. English looked at me expectantly.
You gonna help me out here, L?
Don’t look at me. I haven’t thought about it.
Thanks.
I’ll be hiding in the mess in the reference section until they leave.
Traitor.
“Ethan?” She was waiting for an answer.
I stared at her, and my father stared at me. Everyone was watching me. I felt like a goldfish trapped in a bowl.
What was the life span of a goldfish? It was one of the Sisters’ Jeopardy! questions a few nights ago. I tried to think.
“Goldfish.” I didn’t know why I said it. But lately I was blurting out things without even thinking.
“I beg your pardon?” Mrs. English looked confused. My dad scratched his head, trying not to act embarrassed.
“I mean, what it’s like living in a goldfish bowl—with other goldfish. It’s complicated.”
Mrs. English wasn’t impressed. “Enlighten me, Mr. Wate.”
“Judgment and free will. I think I’m going to write about judgment. Who has the power to decide what’s good and what’s evil, you know? Sin and all that. I mean, does it come from some kind of higher order, or does it come from the people you live with? Or your town?”
It was my dream talking, or my mom.
“And? Who has that power, Mr. Wate? Who is the ultimate judge?”
“I guess I don’t know. Haven’t written the paper yet, ma’am. But I’m not sure us goldfish have the right to judge each other. Look where it got those girls in The Crucible.”
“Would someone outside the community have done a better job?”
A cold feeling crept over me, as if there actually was a right or wrong answer to the question. In English class, there were no right or wrong answers as long as you could find evidence to back up your opinion. But it didn’t feel like we were talking about an English assignment anymore.
“Guess I’ll be answering that in my paper.” I looked away, feeling stupid. In class, it would’ve been a good answer, but standing in front of her now, it was something else.
“Am I interrupting?” It was Marian to the rescue. “I’m sorry, Mitchell, but I have to lock the library up early today. What’s left of it. I’m afraid I’ve got some—official library business to attend to.”
She looked at Mrs. English with a smile. “Please do come back. With any luck, we’ll be back on our feet and open by the summer. We love having educators use our resources.”
Mrs. English started collecting her papers. “Of course.”
Marian had them out the door before my dad could ask why I wasn’t leaving with him. She flipped the sign and twisted the lock—not that there was anything left to steal.
“Thanks for the save, Aunt Marian.”
Lena stuck her head out from behind a stack of boxes. “Are they gone?” She was holding a book, wrapped in one of her scarves. I could see the title, only partially covered by the sparkly gray fabric. Great Expectations.
Sarafine’s book.
As if the afternoon hadn’t been bad enough.
Marian pulled out a handkerchief and rubbed her glasses. “It wasn’t a save entirely. I am expecting some official visitors, and I’m fairly certain it would be best if you two weren’t here when they arrive.”
“I just need a minute. I have to grab my bag.” Lena disappeared back into the boxes, but I was right behind her.
“What are you doing with that?” I grabbed the book, and the second I touched it, the broken shelves faded into darkness—
It was late, the first time she met him. Sarafine knew she shouldn’t be walking alone this late at night. Mortals were no threat to her, but she knew there were other things out there. But the voices had started whispering to her, and she had to get out of the house.
When she saw the figure at the corner, her heart started to pound. But as the man moved closer, Sarafine realized he was no threat. His long beard was white, the same color as his hair. He was wearing a dark suit and a string tie, leaning against a polished black cane.
He was smiling, as if they knew each other. “Good evening, child. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Excuse me? I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.” She smiled. He was probably senile.
The old man laughed. “There’s no mistaking you. I know a Cataclyst when I see one.”
Sarafine felt the icy blood pumping through her veins.
He knew.
The fire flared up along the sidewalk, only a few feet from the old man’s cane. Sarafine closed her eyes, trying to control it, but she couldn’t.
“Let it burn. It is on the cold side tonight.” He smiled, unaffected by the flames.
Sarafine was shaking. “What do you want?”
“Came to help you. You see, we’re family. Maybe I should introduce myself.” He held out his hand. “I’m Abraham Ravenwood.”
She must have understood what my dad didn’t, that I really didn’t want to see her as anything but my teacher, because as soon as I tried to go, Lilian English disappeared and Mrs. English took her place. “Ethan, don’t forget I need the outline for your essay on The Crucible. On my desk by the end of class tomorrow, please. You, too, Miss Duchannes.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I expect you have a thesis already?”
I nodded, but I had completely forgotten an essay was due, let alone an outline. English wasn’t high on my list of priorities lately.
“And?” Mrs. English looked at me expectantly.
You gonna help me out here, L?
Don’t look at me. I haven’t thought about it.
Thanks.
I’ll be hiding in the mess in the reference section until they leave.
Traitor.
“Ethan?” She was waiting for an answer.
I stared at her, and my father stared at me. Everyone was watching me. I felt like a goldfish trapped in a bowl.
What was the life span of a goldfish? It was one of the Sisters’ Jeopardy! questions a few nights ago. I tried to think.
“Goldfish.” I didn’t know why I said it. But lately I was blurting out things without even thinking.
“I beg your pardon?” Mrs. English looked confused. My dad scratched his head, trying not to act embarrassed.
“I mean, what it’s like living in a goldfish bowl—with other goldfish. It’s complicated.”
Mrs. English wasn’t impressed. “Enlighten me, Mr. Wate.”
“Judgment and free will. I think I’m going to write about judgment. Who has the power to decide what’s good and what’s evil, you know? Sin and all that. I mean, does it come from some kind of higher order, or does it come from the people you live with? Or your town?”
It was my dream talking, or my mom.
“And? Who has that power, Mr. Wate? Who is the ultimate judge?”
“I guess I don’t know. Haven’t written the paper yet, ma’am. But I’m not sure us goldfish have the right to judge each other. Look where it got those girls in The Crucible.”
“Would someone outside the community have done a better job?”
A cold feeling crept over me, as if there actually was a right or wrong answer to the question. In English class, there were no right or wrong answers as long as you could find evidence to back up your opinion. But it didn’t feel like we were talking about an English assignment anymore.
“Guess I’ll be answering that in my paper.” I looked away, feeling stupid. In class, it would’ve been a good answer, but standing in front of her now, it was something else.
“Am I interrupting?” It was Marian to the rescue. “I’m sorry, Mitchell, but I have to lock the library up early today. What’s left of it. I’m afraid I’ve got some—official library business to attend to.”
She looked at Mrs. English with a smile. “Please do come back. With any luck, we’ll be back on our feet and open by the summer. We love having educators use our resources.”
Mrs. English started collecting her papers. “Of course.”
Marian had them out the door before my dad could ask why I wasn’t leaving with him. She flipped the sign and twisted the lock—not that there was anything left to steal.
“Thanks for the save, Aunt Marian.”
Lena stuck her head out from behind a stack of boxes. “Are they gone?” She was holding a book, wrapped in one of her scarves. I could see the title, only partially covered by the sparkly gray fabric. Great Expectations.
Sarafine’s book.
As if the afternoon hadn’t been bad enough.
Marian pulled out a handkerchief and rubbed her glasses. “It wasn’t a save entirely. I am expecting some official visitors, and I’m fairly certain it would be best if you two weren’t here when they arrive.”
“I just need a minute. I have to grab my bag.” Lena disappeared back into the boxes, but I was right behind her.
“What are you doing with that?” I grabbed the book, and the second I touched it, the broken shelves faded into darkness—
It was late, the first time she met him. Sarafine knew she shouldn’t be walking alone this late at night. Mortals were no threat to her, but she knew there were other things out there. But the voices had started whispering to her, and she had to get out of the house.
When she saw the figure at the corner, her heart started to pound. But as the man moved closer, Sarafine realized he was no threat. His long beard was white, the same color as his hair. He was wearing a dark suit and a string tie, leaning against a polished black cane.
He was smiling, as if they knew each other. “Good evening, child. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Excuse me? I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.” She smiled. He was probably senile.
The old man laughed. “There’s no mistaking you. I know a Cataclyst when I see one.”
Sarafine felt the icy blood pumping through her veins.
He knew.
The fire flared up along the sidewalk, only a few feet from the old man’s cane. Sarafine closed her eyes, trying to control it, but she couldn’t.
“Let it burn. It is on the cold side tonight.” He smiled, unaffected by the flames.
Sarafine was shaking. “What do you want?”
“Came to help you. You see, we’re family. Maybe I should introduce myself.” He held out his hand. “I’m Abraham Ravenwood.”
