Beautiful Darkness
Page 48
"Aunt Marian, tel her. I can't be one of these Waywards. My parents are regular Mortals." Nobody said the obvious, that my mom had been a part of the Caster world, like Marian, only in a way no one would ever talk about, at least not to me.
"Waywards are Mortals, a bridge between the Caster world and ours." Liv reached for another book. "Of course, your mother was hardly what you could cal a regular Mortal, any more than I am, or Professor Ashcroft."
"Olivia!" Marian froze.
"You don't mean --"
"His mother didn't want him to know. I promised, if anything were to happen --"
"Stop!" I slammed the book down on the table. "I'm not in the mood for your rules. Not tonight."
Liv fidgeted with her science experiment of a watch, nervously. "I'm such an idiot."
"What do you know about my mother?" I turned on Liv. "Tel me right now."
Marian crumpled into the chair next to me. The pink spots on Liv's cheeks flushed. "I'm so sorry." She shook her head, looking from Marian to me, helplessly.
Marian held up her hand. "Olivia knows al about your mother, Ethan."
I turned to Liv. I knew what she was going to tel me, before she said it. The truth had been pushing its way into my mind. Liv knew too much about Casters and Waywards, and she was here, in the Tunnels, standing in Macon's study. If I hadn't been so confused about what they thought I was, I would've realized what Liv was. I don't know why it had taken me this long to see it.
"Ethan."
"You're one of them, like Aunt Marian and my mom."
"Them?" Liv asked.
"You're a Keeper." The words made it real, and I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time -- my mom, down here in the Tunnels with Marian's massive ring of Caster keys. My mom with her secret life, in this secret world my father and I had never been, and could never be, part of.
"I'm not a Keeper." Liv looked embarrassed. "Not yet. One day, maybe. I'm training."
"Training to be more than the Gatlin County librarian, which is why you're here, in the middle of nowhere with your fancy scholarship. If there is one. Or was that a lie, too?"
"I'm a terrible liar. I do have a scholarship, but it's paid by a society of scholars that far predates Duke University."
"Or the Harrow School."
She nodded. "Or Harrow."
"What about the Ovaltine? Was that even true?"
Liv smiled rueful y. "I'm from Kings Langley, and I do love Ovaltine, but if I'm to be perfectly honest, I've come to prefer Quik since arriving in Gatlin."
Link sat down on the bed, speechless. "I don't understand a word she's sayin'."
Liv turned the pages of the book until a timeline of Keepers appeared. My mom's name stared back at me. "Professor Ashcroft is right. I studied Lila Evers Wate. Your mother was a bril iant Keeper, a tremendous writer. It's part of my coursework to read the notes left by the Keepers who have come before me."
Notes? My mom had notes Liv had seen, and I hadn't? I resisted the urge to punch a hole through the wal . "Why? So you don't make the mistakes they made? So you don't end up dead in an accident nobody saw and no one can explain? So you don't leave your family behind, wondering about your secret life and why you never told them about it?"
The two pink spots appeared on Liv's cheeks again. I was getting used to them. "So I can continue their work and keep their voices alive. So one day, when I become a Keeper, I'l know how to safeguard the Caster archive -- the Lunae Libri, the scrol s, the records of the Casters themselves. That isn't possible without the voices of the Keepers who came before me."
"Why not?"
"Because they're my teachers. I learn from their experiences, the knowledge they gathered while they were Keepers. Everything is connected, and without their records, I can't make sense of the things I discover myself."
I shook my head. "I don't understand."
"You don't understand? What the hel are we even talkin' about?" Link spoke up from the bed.
Marian put her hand on my shoulder. "The voice you heard, the laughter from the hal , I imagine it was your mother. Lila led you here, most likely because she wanted us to have this conversation. So you would understand your purpose, and Lena's or Macon's. Because you're Bound to one of their Houses and one of their destinies. I just don't know whose yet."
I thought about the face in the column, the laughter, and the feeling of deja vu in Macon's room. Was it my mom? I'd been waiting months for a sign from her, since the afternoon in the study when Lena and I found the message in the books.
Was she final y trying to contact me now?
What if she wasn't?
I realized something else. "If I am one of these Waywards -- and I'm not saying I'm buying any of this -- then I can find Lena, right? I'm supposed to take care of her because I'm her compass, or whatever."
"We don't know that for sure. You're Bound to someone, but we don't know who."
I pushed back the chair and walked over to the bookcase. Macon's book sat on the edge of the shelf. "I bet I know someone who does." I reached for it.
"Ethan, stop!" Marian shouted. My fingers had barely scraped the cover when I felt the floor give way into the nothingness of another world.
"Waywards are Mortals, a bridge between the Caster world and ours." Liv reached for another book. "Of course, your mother was hardly what you could cal a regular Mortal, any more than I am, or Professor Ashcroft."
"Olivia!" Marian froze.
"You don't mean --"
"His mother didn't want him to know. I promised, if anything were to happen --"
"Stop!" I slammed the book down on the table. "I'm not in the mood for your rules. Not tonight."
Liv fidgeted with her science experiment of a watch, nervously. "I'm such an idiot."
"What do you know about my mother?" I turned on Liv. "Tel me right now."
Marian crumpled into the chair next to me. The pink spots on Liv's cheeks flushed. "I'm so sorry." She shook her head, looking from Marian to me, helplessly.
Marian held up her hand. "Olivia knows al about your mother, Ethan."
I turned to Liv. I knew what she was going to tel me, before she said it. The truth had been pushing its way into my mind. Liv knew too much about Casters and Waywards, and she was here, in the Tunnels, standing in Macon's study. If I hadn't been so confused about what they thought I was, I would've realized what Liv was. I don't know why it had taken me this long to see it.
"Ethan."
"You're one of them, like Aunt Marian and my mom."
"Them?" Liv asked.
"You're a Keeper." The words made it real, and I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time -- my mom, down here in the Tunnels with Marian's massive ring of Caster keys. My mom with her secret life, in this secret world my father and I had never been, and could never be, part of.
"I'm not a Keeper." Liv looked embarrassed. "Not yet. One day, maybe. I'm training."
"Training to be more than the Gatlin County librarian, which is why you're here, in the middle of nowhere with your fancy scholarship. If there is one. Or was that a lie, too?"
"I'm a terrible liar. I do have a scholarship, but it's paid by a society of scholars that far predates Duke University."
"Or the Harrow School."
She nodded. "Or Harrow."
"What about the Ovaltine? Was that even true?"
Liv smiled rueful y. "I'm from Kings Langley, and I do love Ovaltine, but if I'm to be perfectly honest, I've come to prefer Quik since arriving in Gatlin."
Link sat down on the bed, speechless. "I don't understand a word she's sayin'."
Liv turned the pages of the book until a timeline of Keepers appeared. My mom's name stared back at me. "Professor Ashcroft is right. I studied Lila Evers Wate. Your mother was a bril iant Keeper, a tremendous writer. It's part of my coursework to read the notes left by the Keepers who have come before me."
Notes? My mom had notes Liv had seen, and I hadn't? I resisted the urge to punch a hole through the wal . "Why? So you don't make the mistakes they made? So you don't end up dead in an accident nobody saw and no one can explain? So you don't leave your family behind, wondering about your secret life and why you never told them about it?"
The two pink spots appeared on Liv's cheeks again. I was getting used to them. "So I can continue their work and keep their voices alive. So one day, when I become a Keeper, I'l know how to safeguard the Caster archive -- the Lunae Libri, the scrol s, the records of the Casters themselves. That isn't possible without the voices of the Keepers who came before me."
"Why not?"
"Because they're my teachers. I learn from their experiences, the knowledge they gathered while they were Keepers. Everything is connected, and without their records, I can't make sense of the things I discover myself."
I shook my head. "I don't understand."
"You don't understand? What the hel are we even talkin' about?" Link spoke up from the bed.
Marian put her hand on my shoulder. "The voice you heard, the laughter from the hal , I imagine it was your mother. Lila led you here, most likely because she wanted us to have this conversation. So you would understand your purpose, and Lena's or Macon's. Because you're Bound to one of their Houses and one of their destinies. I just don't know whose yet."
I thought about the face in the column, the laughter, and the feeling of deja vu in Macon's room. Was it my mom? I'd been waiting months for a sign from her, since the afternoon in the study when Lena and I found the message in the books.
Was she final y trying to contact me now?
What if she wasn't?
I realized something else. "If I am one of these Waywards -- and I'm not saying I'm buying any of this -- then I can find Lena, right? I'm supposed to take care of her because I'm her compass, or whatever."
"We don't know that for sure. You're Bound to someone, but we don't know who."
I pushed back the chair and walked over to the bookcase. Macon's book sat on the edge of the shelf. "I bet I know someone who does." I reached for it.
"Ethan, stop!" Marian shouted. My fingers had barely scraped the cover when I felt the floor give way into the nothingness of another world.
