Beauty from Love
Page 74
L moves into position, her legs bent and apart, hands wrapped around the backs of her thighs. “Pressure’s building. Oh God, I’ve got to push.”
“This can be our practice run. Deep breath in and blow it out. A second deep breath in, hold it, pull back on your legs, and bear down in your bottom.” L does as she’s instructed. “Push, two and three and four and five …” Amy counts to ten while Laurelyn pushes and then they do it again—three times total with each contraction. “That was really good for your first time. You’re a good pusher, so I can already tell you won’t do this long before you’re ready.”
L is great at everything she does. I’m not surprised she’s doing well at this.
“Oh God! Another one’s coming.”
Amy repeats the process, counting to ten three times with each contraction, and then motions for me to look down there.
I’ve seen L’s vagina countless times so I’m not timid about looking at it, but there’s something different going on right now and I’m not sure it’s a good idea I watch it. “I don’t know if I want to look or not.” I’m a little afraid I’ll never feel the same about it again.
“Up to you, but this is the only chance you’ll ever get to see this. It’s pretty special.”
I can shut my eyes and back off if it’s too much. “Okay.” I walk from the bedside to the foot of the bed. “You’re starting another contraction so let’s show him the top of this baby’s head.”
Laurelyn begins pushing and I watch our baby’s head come down until I can see the entire crown and I feel something so very surreal happening. “Oh, wow, L. She has a headful of dark hair.” I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.
L pushes three times and then falls back, breathing heavily. This is a tough workout for her. “Good thing she’s taking after you because I was bald.”
Amy gets up from the bed and walks toward the door. Where is she going? “We’re ready so I’m calling Dr. Sommersby to come.”
I lean down and kiss L while we’re waiting for her doctor to arrive. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She strokes my face with her hand. “You’re going to be okay if she turns out to be a he?”
“I’ve told you I’ll be thrilled with a son. I’ve only been persistent about it being a girl because it’s what my gut says, not because I don’t want a boy.”
“I know.”
Dr. Sommersby comes into the room and gowns up as the nurses prepare to care for our baby. “This little one got in a hurry about arriving.” She settles on a stool between L’s legs and looks at me. “So, you’re still convinced it’s a girl?”
Totally. “One hundred percent.”
“And you, Laurelyn?”
“It’s either a boy or a girl. That’s the only thing I’m sure about.”
The doc laughs. “I’m going with you on that one. You’re starting a contraction so push hard and we’ll find out.”
L takes a deep breath and blows it out before taking another and holding it. Amy and I help her pull her legs back and her face turns beet red as she pushes with all her might. She stops midpush and releases her legs as she bows from the bed. “Omigod, there’s so much pressure … and I’m burning. I’m on fire.”
She looks up at me and there’s nothing I can do to help her. This is what I was afraid of. “I’m so sorry, L.”
Her legs are shaking and she reaches up to grab me. She pulls me down and squeezes me around the back of my neck. “Help me. Help me. Help me.”
“Do something to help her!” I yell.
Amy pulls back on her leg but L has it locked, like unmoving stone. “You’ve got to push the baby out, Laurelyn. That’s the only way we can help you.”
“I can’t. It hurts too bad.”
“Look at me.” L lets go of my neck and tears are rolling down her face. She drops her head against the pillow and looks at Amy. “You can do this. You’re the only one who can, so pull your legs back and push your baby out. The sooner you do it, the sooner you get relief.” L grabs her forehead and holds it. “Do it. Push hard.”
“Oh God. Here it comes. I’ve gotta push.” Laurelyn rears up and pulls her legs back.
Amy is feeling L’s abdomen. “Push as hard as you can and get this over with.”
L’s eyes are squeezed shut, her brow wrinkled. Tears escape her eyes and it breaks my heart that she’s suffering in silence. “You can do it.”
“Look down here, Mr. McLachlan, and you’ll get to see your baby come into the world.” I lean over L’s leg and watch our baby’s head come out of L’s body. The baby came out face down but then Dr. Sommersby turns her so she can suction her mouth and nose.
I see her face for the first time.
“The head’s out, Laurelyn.”
I’ve never seen anything more amazing. “L, she’s beautiful.”
“Let’s get the rest of this baby out and see what we’ve got.” Amy pushes against L’s leg and motions for me to do the same. “Push, Laurelyn, push!”
I see the determination on her face and know her next push will be the last. And it is.
I hear a gush of fluid and then a piercing cry—our baby’s first sound. “You did it, L.” I kiss the top of my wife’s head. “I love you so much.”
Dr. Sommersby is holding our child, wiping away the fluid and cheesy matter. “Want me to tell you or show you what you have?”
L and I look at one another and simultaneously say, “Show us.”
Dr. Sommersby lifts our baby up for us to see. No doodle. “I got my Maggie James and she’s beautiful, just like her mum.” I can only remember a handful of times I’ve cried since I’ve been an adult, and it was always about Laurelyn, but now I’m doing it again over my daughter. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful baby. Thank you for giving me a daughter.”
Maggie James is placed on her mother’s chest and Amy tucks her inside L’s gown so they’re skin to skin before she puts a pink beanie on her head. I reach out and stroke my finger down her cheek and I can’t remember ever feeling anything so soft. “I already love her so much, L. I didn’t know it was possible.”
“I know. Isn’t she amazing?”
“This can be our practice run. Deep breath in and blow it out. A second deep breath in, hold it, pull back on your legs, and bear down in your bottom.” L does as she’s instructed. “Push, two and three and four and five …” Amy counts to ten while Laurelyn pushes and then they do it again—three times total with each contraction. “That was really good for your first time. You’re a good pusher, so I can already tell you won’t do this long before you’re ready.”
L is great at everything she does. I’m not surprised she’s doing well at this.
“Oh God! Another one’s coming.”
Amy repeats the process, counting to ten three times with each contraction, and then motions for me to look down there.
I’ve seen L’s vagina countless times so I’m not timid about looking at it, but there’s something different going on right now and I’m not sure it’s a good idea I watch it. “I don’t know if I want to look or not.” I’m a little afraid I’ll never feel the same about it again.
“Up to you, but this is the only chance you’ll ever get to see this. It’s pretty special.”
I can shut my eyes and back off if it’s too much. “Okay.” I walk from the bedside to the foot of the bed. “You’re starting another contraction so let’s show him the top of this baby’s head.”
Laurelyn begins pushing and I watch our baby’s head come down until I can see the entire crown and I feel something so very surreal happening. “Oh, wow, L. She has a headful of dark hair.” I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.
L pushes three times and then falls back, breathing heavily. This is a tough workout for her. “Good thing she’s taking after you because I was bald.”
Amy gets up from the bed and walks toward the door. Where is she going? “We’re ready so I’m calling Dr. Sommersby to come.”
I lean down and kiss L while we’re waiting for her doctor to arrive. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She strokes my face with her hand. “You’re going to be okay if she turns out to be a he?”
“I’ve told you I’ll be thrilled with a son. I’ve only been persistent about it being a girl because it’s what my gut says, not because I don’t want a boy.”
“I know.”
Dr. Sommersby comes into the room and gowns up as the nurses prepare to care for our baby. “This little one got in a hurry about arriving.” She settles on a stool between L’s legs and looks at me. “So, you’re still convinced it’s a girl?”
Totally. “One hundred percent.”
“And you, Laurelyn?”
“It’s either a boy or a girl. That’s the only thing I’m sure about.”
The doc laughs. “I’m going with you on that one. You’re starting a contraction so push hard and we’ll find out.”
L takes a deep breath and blows it out before taking another and holding it. Amy and I help her pull her legs back and her face turns beet red as she pushes with all her might. She stops midpush and releases her legs as she bows from the bed. “Omigod, there’s so much pressure … and I’m burning. I’m on fire.”
She looks up at me and there’s nothing I can do to help her. This is what I was afraid of. “I’m so sorry, L.”
Her legs are shaking and she reaches up to grab me. She pulls me down and squeezes me around the back of my neck. “Help me. Help me. Help me.”
“Do something to help her!” I yell.
Amy pulls back on her leg but L has it locked, like unmoving stone. “You’ve got to push the baby out, Laurelyn. That’s the only way we can help you.”
“I can’t. It hurts too bad.”
“Look at me.” L lets go of my neck and tears are rolling down her face. She drops her head against the pillow and looks at Amy. “You can do this. You’re the only one who can, so pull your legs back and push your baby out. The sooner you do it, the sooner you get relief.” L grabs her forehead and holds it. “Do it. Push hard.”
“Oh God. Here it comes. I’ve gotta push.” Laurelyn rears up and pulls her legs back.
Amy is feeling L’s abdomen. “Push as hard as you can and get this over with.”
L’s eyes are squeezed shut, her brow wrinkled. Tears escape her eyes and it breaks my heart that she’s suffering in silence. “You can do it.”
“Look down here, Mr. McLachlan, and you’ll get to see your baby come into the world.” I lean over L’s leg and watch our baby’s head come out of L’s body. The baby came out face down but then Dr. Sommersby turns her so she can suction her mouth and nose.
I see her face for the first time.
“The head’s out, Laurelyn.”
I’ve never seen anything more amazing. “L, she’s beautiful.”
“Let’s get the rest of this baby out and see what we’ve got.” Amy pushes against L’s leg and motions for me to do the same. “Push, Laurelyn, push!”
I see the determination on her face and know her next push will be the last. And it is.
I hear a gush of fluid and then a piercing cry—our baby’s first sound. “You did it, L.” I kiss the top of my wife’s head. “I love you so much.”
Dr. Sommersby is holding our child, wiping away the fluid and cheesy matter. “Want me to tell you or show you what you have?”
L and I look at one another and simultaneously say, “Show us.”
Dr. Sommersby lifts our baby up for us to see. No doodle. “I got my Maggie James and she’s beautiful, just like her mum.” I can only remember a handful of times I’ve cried since I’ve been an adult, and it was always about Laurelyn, but now I’m doing it again over my daughter. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful baby. Thank you for giving me a daughter.”
Maggie James is placed on her mother’s chest and Amy tucks her inside L’s gown so they’re skin to skin before she puts a pink beanie on her head. I reach out and stroke my finger down her cheek and I can’t remember ever feeling anything so soft. “I already love her so much, L. I didn’t know it was possible.”
“I know. Isn’t she amazing?”
