Because of You

Page 31

We stand there staring at one another, both of our chests heaving in anger and our fists clenched to our sides until the fight finally leaves me and I realize I’m standing outside having a shouting match with one of my best friends instead of formulating a plan to get Layla back.
“Stop calling my Beretta 9mm Nancy. It can shoot circles around your pitiful excuse for a weapon,” I finally tell him.
Austin throws his head back in a laugh and punches me in the arm.
“You only wish, asshole. Now, are we going to go get your girl back or what? Because something tells me you’ve gone to the dark side with Garrett, and now I’m going to have the two of you boring me with details about your amazing women and all the hot sex you’re having,” Austin says with another laugh as we walk towards his car and get in.
“Guys, hold up!”
We hear Adam’s voice through the open window as he runs across the yard with papers in his hand.
“I just called in for backup. They’re going to meet you at Hummingbird. But you need to see this before you go,” he says, sticking his hand through the driver’s side window.
Austin takes the pages from his hand and gives them to me before starting up the car.
“Thanks, man. It’s going to take us about twenty minutes to get there, so let me know if anything changes,” I tell Adam before Austin guns the engine, throwing rocks and dirt out behind his car as he speeds out of the driveway.
“What is it?” Austin asks as he weaves in and out of traffic while I read what Adam gave me and hold on tight to the door handle.
“It looks like emails between Billy and Finn dating back to a few months ago.
August 14, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
The plan is in motion. Letters have been sent.
September 9, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
No more letters. It’s getting to be too much, and I think Eve is actually going to do something about it.
September 23, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
Don’t think. It’s not something you’re good at. I’ll decide when it’s too much.
October 1, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
What in the hell are you doing? You weren’t supposed to attack her. That wasn’t part the plan. We need to stop this right now.
October 5, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
I’m so tired of watching all of these fans kiss her ass. Everyone loves her when they should love me instead. We need a new plan. I don’t think what we’re doing is a good idea. It will never work.
October 8, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
No, we don’t need a new plan. Everything is moving along just like we want it to. Stop being such a pathetic excuse for a man and get me those blueprints.
October 12, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
Two weeks from today will be the day. We will bring Hummingbird Records burning to the ground with a sweet little present tied to a pole in the basement. Eve will finally get what’s coming to her when she no longer has a business to run, and you’ll finally get what you deserve when she no longer has a main attraction to flaunt.
October 21, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
I can’t do this. I can’t bring you Layla. I know that’s what we agreed, but I can’t do it. I can’t do that to her. We can still go through with the plan of burning the place down, but I’m not bringing Layla. I made sure to cancel the insurance policy, so Eve will get nothing and you win.
October 24, 2012
From: [email protected] /* */
To: [email protected] /* */
Bring her to me today, or you’ll be the one tied to the basement as it goes up in flames.
Chapter 24
In the dark, cold room, I blink my eyes to focus, but all I can think about is the pain. It hurts to breathe and every inch of my body feels bruised and battered. Probably because it is.
Oh God! Why is this happening to me?
I try to move, to get up off of the hard floor, but my broken body isn’t cooperating. I need to find a way out of here or I won't survive this. I know with every part of my being that if I don’t leave this room, I’m going to die here. Alone.
The tears run down my face, and I can’t even move my arms to brush them away; something is holding them in place.
I slowly turn my head to the side, trying not to throw up from the pain that rushes through me with that one simple movement. I’m tied down to something, but I can’t make out what it is. The only light in the room comes from a street lamp right outside, which throws a thin ray of light through the small window close to the ceiling.
With all of the strength I can muster, I try to pull one of my arms free from whatever is holding me in place, the bindings cutting into my wrists and pain instantly shooting up my arm that's most likely broken in several places.
My scream echoes through the empty room and my throat aches from all of the screaming I’ve already done…yesterday? The day before? I’m losing track of time.
Oh God, this is the arm I play with. This is the arm that cradles the guitar to my side and the fingers that strum the notes that take me away to another place. Notes and melodies that bring me back to life and allow me be who I really am.
“Shhh, don’t scream. It’s okay, it will all be over soon.”
I think I hear a voice by my ear, but I know it’s just in my head. It’s a voice that used to always soothe me, but now it just makes me want to weep. This voice doesn’t tell me how much it loves me anymore or how much my friendship means; it tells me how much it hates, how much it resents, and how much it wants me to suffer. All of my good memories of this voice have been replaced by the bad that happened here in this room.
I know I’m going to pass out again soon. My vision is swimming. Spots flash before my eyes as I struggle to remain conscious. I’m cold, so cold. I’ve lost a lot of blood. Blood I can’t afford to lose because of my condition. I can taste it in my mouth, feel it on the side of my face, and see it dripping onto the floor next to my head in a puddle. My body shivers and my teeth chatter so hard I think they might crack.
Flashbacks of the past few months run through my mind like someone flipping the pages of a book, and my heart shatters at the memories. I should have seen what was happening. I should have listened to Brady from the beginning when he tried to warn me about Finn, but everything about him scared me. The force of what I felt for Brady shouldn’t have been so strong so quickly. He had my heart and my soul from the very first touch, the very first moment. But he didn’t want it. He didn’t want any of it. I trusted too quickly, gave my heart away too easily.
Trusting someone is what got me into this mess. I trusted the wrong person, and now I’m going to pay for it with my life. Someone who should have been there for me and protected me…it was all a lie from the very beginning. Finn never cared about me. Deep down I knew it, I’d always known it. Every time I finished a performance and got off the stage with the crowd screaming and cheering for me, Finn would try to look happy, but looking back, I see now that his happiness was forced. He was jealous. He had always been jealous. I just never wanted to believe the hatred ran that deep.
I let the darkness wash over me, knowing it’s the only way the pain will go away. Ray, Billy, whatever the hell his name is got down on his knees between my legs after he punched me earlier, and as I floated in and out of consciousness, there wasn’t any fight left in me to stop him from tying me to the pole with the rope Finn secured or unbuckling his pants. The only thing holding me together right now is the fact that something stopped him from ruining me any further. Something caused him to scramble off of me quickly, and I remember watching him through the tiny slits in my eyes. His hands were in the air, and he was arguing with someone. I don’t know who it was, and I don’t care since they didn’t bother to save me. Billy isn’t here anymore but I am. I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.
I can smell smoke now. It’s all around me, burning my nose and clawing at my throat. I’m handcuffed and tied to a pole in the basement of a room that I’m pretty sure is burning.
Closing my eyes, I think back over the last nine years and wonder about all of the things I should have done differently, the choices I made that have led me to where I am now. If I had never let my mother control me, never succumbed to the undeniable connection I had to Finn…if we hadn’t experienced that initial pull towards each other that I now know was something more than friendship—it was blood—maybe things wouldn’t be ending this way.
I hear shouts and the pounding of footsteps in the distance, but I can’t force my eyes open no matter how hard I try. Billy and Finn are probably just coming back to finish the job, not satisfied with how much they have already broken me, how much they have already taken from me.
Maybe if I had realized sooner, listened earlier, put away my pride and the belief that deep down everyone has some good in them, I wouldn’t be where I am now—fighting for my life and wondering if the person I love cares enough to save me from this hell.
With my eyes closed, ready to just be done with all of this, I see a burst of light behind my eyelids as someone flips on the light switch and I hear Brady’s voice. But I know it’s not real. It can’t be real. I’m hearing it because I want to hear it. I want him to love me back, and I want him to be here making all of this go away.
“Put the gun down, Finn! NOW!”
The dream is so real I swear I hear Brady screaming. It makes me smile, knowing that my last thoughts are of him, even if he doesn’t love me. His strong, deep voice washes over me and warms every inch of my cold body.
“NO! It’s over! It’s all fucking over! I’ve ruined everything!” Finn shouts back.
“Don’t do this, Finn. You killed Billy, you did something good to make up for all of the bad. Put the gun down so we can get out of here,” Brady argues.
My eyes slowly open and I gingerly turn my head to the side, the cold, unblinking eyes of Billy looking right at me a few feet away with a bloody bullet hole right in the middle of his forehead.
“Come on, man. The building is about to blow. We all need to get the fuck out of here right now.”
Another man’s voice echoes through the room, and it’s not one I recognize. I can’t tell if this is a dream anymore. They said Billy was dead and he is. I’m looking right at him, but I don’t know if what I’m seeing is real. I don’t know if what I’m hearing is really happening. It’s all so confusing and I just want to go to sleep.
“I can’t leave! Don’t you understand? I deserve this! I deserve to die here!” Finn shouts.
His words make me sad for some reason. No matter what he did, no one deserves to die here all alone.
“Don’t make me shoot you, man. Put the gun down. I need to get Layla out of here, Finn. Look at her. She’s barely holding on,” Brady pleads with a shaky voice.
I suddenly feel a hand on my face, and I want to tell whoever it is not to touch me. It hurts. Everything hurts.
“I’m sorry, Layla. I’m so sorry. I just wanted what you had. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was so mad at you for getting everything and you didn’t even want it. I should have never made that phone call to Billy. I should have known he wouldn’t let it be that simple,” Finn tells me with a sob as I feel his hands smoothing the hair off of my face.
“Get away from her, Finn, right now!” Brady screams, his voice closer than it was before.
“I’m so messed up in the head, Layla. I’m messed up and I fucked up. You need to know that I changed my mind. I wasn’t going to bring you here today. But Billy knew it and he followed me and he slammed into my SUV and made me bring you here. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Lay. It will be over soon. Don’t worry, it will all be over soon,” Finn coos softly next to my ear.
I hear the cock of a gun and shut my mind off, knowing that this is the end.
“GOD DAMMIT, FINN! NO!”
Explosions from several different guns go off all at once and the noise ricochets off of the walls and all around me. I don’t feel like I’ve been shot but who knows. I’m already in so much pain I probably wouldn’t even notice if a bullet pierced my skin anyway. I let myself drift away in the darkness, happy for the first time since all of this started.
I’m dying. I can feel it. My head is fuzzy from the blood loss. A couple of punches to the head wouldn’t be much for some people, but it’s everything to someone with my condition. My blood doesn’t clot like a normal person; it just pours and pours out of me until there’s nothing left. My lungs are filling up with smoke, and it hurts too much to cough to get it out. Nothing flows past my lips but a few gasps and whimpers. I let the smoke travel down my throat and enter my body hoping the fog circling around my lungs, my heart, and all through me helps to numb the pain. It’s probably crazy that my heart is happy when my life ebbs and flows out of me and I can feel my heart slowing down. But at least I have that one little thing left to hold onto as I float away. I’m happy because even if it was a dream, even if Brady was never here, at least for a moment I got to pretend that he was. For just a moment, I felt cared for and loved. He found me and he tried to save me, even if he didn’t succeed. With my eyes closed, I can almost smell his body wash through the stench of smoke; I can almost feel the warmth of his body as he holds me close and calls me baby. I always love it when he calls me baby.