Beck Bear
Page 18
“Ten bucks on Grim,” Rhett said without looking up from his menu.
“Ten on Kamp,” Remi said and then slurped her own water.
But before Juno could call out her bet, Kamp rolled his eyes and then sat by Remi. “You’re the worst Alpha in the world.”
“Agreed,” Grim muttered, wiping water off his face with a napkin.
As they all bantered about who could eat the most food and began placing bets on that, Juno got hit in the gut with that awful feeling again. It was the ache of emptiness that came with just a moment of thinking about how it would be when she went back to her old life and left this behind. Her entire body tensed up, and she hunched in on herself.
“Juno, are you okay?” Rhett asked, rubbing her back.
With his touch, the pain disappeared, but something tickled her top lip. Rhett’s eyebrows furrowed with a frown, and he pressed a napkin under her nose. When he drew it back, it was dotted with red. “Your nose is bleeding.”
It was the sickness. Another sign of Beaston’s prediction, and she suddenly wanted to cry because she wasn’t ready. Before, she’d accepted it. She’d gone balls to the wall with work to get as much done in the time she knew she had. But now, everything had changed.
She wasn’t ready to die.
“It’s okay,” Rhett murmured, hugging her close to his side. He smelled like fur, and when she looked up, his eyes were icy blue.
“What’s wrong?” Remi asked.
“I have a confession,” Rhett said without missing a beat. “I have a sister a couple towns over who is finishing up rehab. She’s been wanting to meet all of you, and she’s leaving at the end of the week so you should probably meet her now. While you can. Because she’s going back to the Saga Pride and they’re all recluses and she’ll probably never get out of that cult again.”
Remi and Kamp both sat there staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind, but Grim was chuckling as he looked from face to face and chewed on a cornbread muffin. “Y’all are so fucked up.”
“Why didn’t you tell us you had a sister?” Remi asked. “I’ve asked you like six times about your family, and you’ve only answered, ‘Does not compute.’ And you’ve been talking to her about us?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rhett said, smearing butter on a cornbread muffin. “All bad stuff.”
“What the hell, man?” Kamp asked. “Do we seriously not know each other at all?”
And then another argument was off to the races.
Under the table, Rhett squeezed her leg comfortingly. Clever man.
Just like that, Rhett had distracted everyone away from asking any more in-depth questions about what was wrong with her.
Chapter Fifteen
Goodbyes had never bothered Juno before. They just hadn’t. She’d never drawn them out or overthought them. She was just tough about see-ya-laters.
Today was different.
Everything was different.
She hadn’t checked her phone while she’d waited to meet Sara. Hadn’t checked it in the truck on the way to Rusty’s. Hadn’t checked it while the Crew ate lunch together. Perhaps that was because the conversations were so funny and interesting, but she knew it was more than that. Her life used to be staring at the glowing screen of her phone, building her career. But one day of an actual break from it, and she felt happier, steadier. And for that single day, she’d actually lived.
Kamp and Grim and Remi had said their goodbyes in the parking lot of Rusty’s Fried Chicken. She’d teared up. For the first time ever, she’d teared up on a goodbye, and it wasn’t just for Remi either. It was for the wild boys who would go on arguing and bleeding each other in those mountains long after she was gone. Life would go on here, and she would not. And missing a single moment of “living” made that ache come back again in waves.
“I understand you have to finish what you started,” Rhett said from the driver’s seat. His hands gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles had turned white. “You’re a special kind of woman. You see things through.” He sighed and arched his bright blue gaze to her. “But this morning I wished on that dumb house number that you would stay.”
“You wished on 1010?”
“Remi said it works sometimes. I poked my finger right in the middle of one of the zeros and pretended it was your boob. Then I made the wish.”
“You’re not supposed to say the wish out loud or it won’t come true.”
Rhett frowned at the car parked in front of them in the airport passenger unloading zone. “Won’t come true anyway. I don’t believe in that stuff, and look at you.”
Indeed, she was cradling her suitcase in her lap. Her lip was trembling, and she was going to lose it again. Rhett shoved open his door and got out, walked around the front of the truck, and opened her door for her. He helped her settle the suitcase on the sidewalk and pulled his guitar case out of the bed of the pickup.
“I want you to have something from me.”
Juno nearly choked on nothing. “W-what? No, Rhett, I can’t take your guitar.”
“A gift for a gift, and it’s the only material thing in the world that means anything to me.”
“A gift for a gift? What did I give you?”
Rhett gave her a sad smile and turned around. Slowly, he lifted his shirt up to expose deep healing slashes down his back. “Claiming marks.”
And Juno…the girl who prided herself on being tough, the girl who prided herself on being strong, lost it right there in front of that airport. Twin tears raced down her cheeks, and her shoulders shook as she clasped her hand over her mouth to keep her sobs all caged up.
She had done that, hadn’t she? How had she not realized? How had she not thought of what she was doing when they were together? Her bear had taken over that part of her story and tried to tell her, “This man is mine.” But she’d been so consumed by the chaos of the day and the implications of her sickness that she hadn’t realized just what she’d done.
Claiming marks looked different for everyone, but they could never be shoved under the rug and excused away. Thinking back, her bear had known just what she was doing.
She’d claimed Rhett.
“I can’t…” He swallowed over and over, rubbing his hand down the scruff on his jaw. There was heartbreak in his eyes. “I can’t watch you cry, or I’m gonna lose my pride and beg you to stay. You make me happy, and it’s been a long damn time. I thank you for that. Come back if you get bored with that old life. Okay, Juno?”
She couldn’t answer. All she could do was nod her head once before he bolted for his truck. He didn’t look back at her until he was pulling away, and the hurt in his eyes made her squat down next to his guitar and hate herself for doing this to them.
And as she rested her hand on that old guitar, the instrument that had known real love and real music, the dam that had broken and freed the water also freed her. A small splat sounded against the ground, and then another and another.
It wasn’t only her tears that painted the concrete as she watched Rhett’s taillights disappear.
Her nose was bleeding again.
Her time was running out, and the reasons for her to leave for even a night were evaporating one by one. Everything that had once been important didn’t seem to matter, and everything that hadn’t mattered before meant everything to her now.
Somehow, that man had broken her together again.
She’d been searching for him her whole life and hadn’t even known it, and the second she’d seen him, her soul had recognized his.
And right then and there, she swore to herself she would finish what she had to and come back home before the end of her days.
Because that’s what Rhett was.
Home.
Chapter Sixteen
This was pop music, not country like the Beateaters had labeled themselves. It was catchy, the lyrics were easy, and every song sounded exactly the same. With the right marketing team, their debut album would probably sell a ton.
Juno sat in the back of the smoky bar, wincing against the pyrotechnics and flashing lights, surrounded by people who couldn’t take their eyes off the Beateaters. She’d sat through their entire set, but her head hurt and her heart wasn’t in it. It was back in a little trailer park in Rogue Pride territory that she’d left yesterday.
“Ten on Kamp,” Remi said and then slurped her own water.
But before Juno could call out her bet, Kamp rolled his eyes and then sat by Remi. “You’re the worst Alpha in the world.”
“Agreed,” Grim muttered, wiping water off his face with a napkin.
As they all bantered about who could eat the most food and began placing bets on that, Juno got hit in the gut with that awful feeling again. It was the ache of emptiness that came with just a moment of thinking about how it would be when she went back to her old life and left this behind. Her entire body tensed up, and she hunched in on herself.
“Juno, are you okay?” Rhett asked, rubbing her back.
With his touch, the pain disappeared, but something tickled her top lip. Rhett’s eyebrows furrowed with a frown, and he pressed a napkin under her nose. When he drew it back, it was dotted with red. “Your nose is bleeding.”
It was the sickness. Another sign of Beaston’s prediction, and she suddenly wanted to cry because she wasn’t ready. Before, she’d accepted it. She’d gone balls to the wall with work to get as much done in the time she knew she had. But now, everything had changed.
She wasn’t ready to die.
“It’s okay,” Rhett murmured, hugging her close to his side. He smelled like fur, and when she looked up, his eyes were icy blue.
“What’s wrong?” Remi asked.
“I have a confession,” Rhett said without missing a beat. “I have a sister a couple towns over who is finishing up rehab. She’s been wanting to meet all of you, and she’s leaving at the end of the week so you should probably meet her now. While you can. Because she’s going back to the Saga Pride and they’re all recluses and she’ll probably never get out of that cult again.”
Remi and Kamp both sat there staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind, but Grim was chuckling as he looked from face to face and chewed on a cornbread muffin. “Y’all are so fucked up.”
“Why didn’t you tell us you had a sister?” Remi asked. “I’ve asked you like six times about your family, and you’ve only answered, ‘Does not compute.’ And you’ve been talking to her about us?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rhett said, smearing butter on a cornbread muffin. “All bad stuff.”
“What the hell, man?” Kamp asked. “Do we seriously not know each other at all?”
And then another argument was off to the races.
Under the table, Rhett squeezed her leg comfortingly. Clever man.
Just like that, Rhett had distracted everyone away from asking any more in-depth questions about what was wrong with her.
Chapter Fifteen
Goodbyes had never bothered Juno before. They just hadn’t. She’d never drawn them out or overthought them. She was just tough about see-ya-laters.
Today was different.
Everything was different.
She hadn’t checked her phone while she’d waited to meet Sara. Hadn’t checked it in the truck on the way to Rusty’s. Hadn’t checked it while the Crew ate lunch together. Perhaps that was because the conversations were so funny and interesting, but she knew it was more than that. Her life used to be staring at the glowing screen of her phone, building her career. But one day of an actual break from it, and she felt happier, steadier. And for that single day, she’d actually lived.
Kamp and Grim and Remi had said their goodbyes in the parking lot of Rusty’s Fried Chicken. She’d teared up. For the first time ever, she’d teared up on a goodbye, and it wasn’t just for Remi either. It was for the wild boys who would go on arguing and bleeding each other in those mountains long after she was gone. Life would go on here, and she would not. And missing a single moment of “living” made that ache come back again in waves.
“I understand you have to finish what you started,” Rhett said from the driver’s seat. His hands gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles had turned white. “You’re a special kind of woman. You see things through.” He sighed and arched his bright blue gaze to her. “But this morning I wished on that dumb house number that you would stay.”
“You wished on 1010?”
“Remi said it works sometimes. I poked my finger right in the middle of one of the zeros and pretended it was your boob. Then I made the wish.”
“You’re not supposed to say the wish out loud or it won’t come true.”
Rhett frowned at the car parked in front of them in the airport passenger unloading zone. “Won’t come true anyway. I don’t believe in that stuff, and look at you.”
Indeed, she was cradling her suitcase in her lap. Her lip was trembling, and she was going to lose it again. Rhett shoved open his door and got out, walked around the front of the truck, and opened her door for her. He helped her settle the suitcase on the sidewalk and pulled his guitar case out of the bed of the pickup.
“I want you to have something from me.”
Juno nearly choked on nothing. “W-what? No, Rhett, I can’t take your guitar.”
“A gift for a gift, and it’s the only material thing in the world that means anything to me.”
“A gift for a gift? What did I give you?”
Rhett gave her a sad smile and turned around. Slowly, he lifted his shirt up to expose deep healing slashes down his back. “Claiming marks.”
And Juno…the girl who prided herself on being tough, the girl who prided herself on being strong, lost it right there in front of that airport. Twin tears raced down her cheeks, and her shoulders shook as she clasped her hand over her mouth to keep her sobs all caged up.
She had done that, hadn’t she? How had she not realized? How had she not thought of what she was doing when they were together? Her bear had taken over that part of her story and tried to tell her, “This man is mine.” But she’d been so consumed by the chaos of the day and the implications of her sickness that she hadn’t realized just what she’d done.
Claiming marks looked different for everyone, but they could never be shoved under the rug and excused away. Thinking back, her bear had known just what she was doing.
She’d claimed Rhett.
“I can’t…” He swallowed over and over, rubbing his hand down the scruff on his jaw. There was heartbreak in his eyes. “I can’t watch you cry, or I’m gonna lose my pride and beg you to stay. You make me happy, and it’s been a long damn time. I thank you for that. Come back if you get bored with that old life. Okay, Juno?”
She couldn’t answer. All she could do was nod her head once before he bolted for his truck. He didn’t look back at her until he was pulling away, and the hurt in his eyes made her squat down next to his guitar and hate herself for doing this to them.
And as she rested her hand on that old guitar, the instrument that had known real love and real music, the dam that had broken and freed the water also freed her. A small splat sounded against the ground, and then another and another.
It wasn’t only her tears that painted the concrete as she watched Rhett’s taillights disappear.
Her nose was bleeding again.
Her time was running out, and the reasons for her to leave for even a night were evaporating one by one. Everything that had once been important didn’t seem to matter, and everything that hadn’t mattered before meant everything to her now.
Somehow, that man had broken her together again.
She’d been searching for him her whole life and hadn’t even known it, and the second she’d seen him, her soul had recognized his.
And right then and there, she swore to herself she would finish what she had to and come back home before the end of her days.
Because that’s what Rhett was.
Home.
Chapter Sixteen
This was pop music, not country like the Beateaters had labeled themselves. It was catchy, the lyrics were easy, and every song sounded exactly the same. With the right marketing team, their debut album would probably sell a ton.
Juno sat in the back of the smoky bar, wincing against the pyrotechnics and flashing lights, surrounded by people who couldn’t take their eyes off the Beateaters. She’d sat through their entire set, but her head hurt and her heart wasn’t in it. It was back in a little trailer park in Rogue Pride territory that she’d left yesterday.
