Becoming Calder
Page 31
I let out a very quiet laugh. "Or that you're stupid enough to scale the roof."
Calder grinned. "I think he simply believes we've caught each other's eye, nothing more."
I nodded, but didn't mention how I'd confided in Hailey. That hadn't been smart. I had just thought for a brief moment she might help us. But she hadn't.
Calder looked at me seriously. "Just the fact that I've looked at you has made him crazy though, Eden. This," he moved his eyes around my room, indicating where he was, "is truly stupid. I just couldn't stand you not knowing what I was thinking. It was killing me."
"You could have sent a note somehow . . . some way."
"Yes, I could have. It would have been smarter." He gazed at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if in the last month, he had forgotten what I looked like.
"Yes," I agreed. I should make him leave. But he was right in front of me, his hair slicked all the way back from his gorgeous face, droplets still shimmering on his skin, and the male smell of him invading the air around me, making me want to close my eyes and inhale deeply.
And I understood the frantic feeling of needing to offer comfort to the one you loved, against all reason, all rational thought.
I put one hand up to his cheek and he closed his eyes and turned into it. "I'm so, so sorry about Maya," I whispered, tears immediately pricking my eyes. "I wanted so desperately to come to you."
A look of pain crossed Calder's features and he allowed it to remain there. Something about that made me fierce with protectiveness. He loved and trusted me enough to bare his pain to me. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his face into my neck and just breathed as I rubbed his back and turned to kiss his cheek again and again.
When I leaned back, Calder said, "It was so sudden. I didn't have time to prepare." He leaned back up. "It still doesn't seem real. I wondered if the gods were punishing me for what we did."
I bit my lip. "By causing Maya's death?" I shook my head. "Are the gods that cruel?"
Calder sighed out. "I don't think so but I have no proof."
I let out a breath and looked down at my nightgown-covered lap. "When we get out of here, I'll find you proof. I'll study every piece of information available until I find you proof."
Calder smiled a small, sad smile. "My Morning Glory."
We stared at each other for a minute until Calder's eyes finally moved down my body. "So this is what you sleep in?"
I looked down at the long, white nightgown and nodded my head slowly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I'll wear something nicer when we sleep together," I said, feeling like a child in the modest, unattractive piece of nightwear. I knew women in the outside world showed skin sometimes. I very vaguely remembered wrapping my own arms around my mothers bare legs, her skirt just touching her knees, as she smiled and looked down at me. It seemed like a dream now.
Calder shook his head slowly, a look of heat coming into his eyes. "No, I love it. You're like a present I have to unwrap." One side of his lips quirked up. There it was. My smile.
"What do you wear to sleep in?" I asked.
Calder smiled. "Far more than I'll be wearing when I sleep with you," he said, grinning and leaning forward to kiss my neck. I leaned my head back, moaning softly.
"Calder . . ." I started, glancing back at my door. "We promised we'd be careful until we can leave . . . the sacrifice will all be—"
"I know," Calder whispered against my skin. "I'll leave in a second. Just another taste of you and I'll go."
"Mmm," I murmured as his lips feathered against my neck, sending a bolt of arousal straight between my legs. "The rain's stopping. You need to go," I said, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him back slightly.
Calder brought his head up and gave me his full beauty. I stared in his lust-filled eyes, his lips barely parted. With everything in me, I wanted to kiss those lips until I was dizzy and breathless. But Hector was right down the hall, and if we were caught, it would ruin everything.
Calder took my hands, stood up, and held me against him tightly. "I hate saying goodbye to you."
I nuzzled my face into his chest and then tipped my head back and looked up at him. "Just promise me once we get out of here, we'll never say goodbye again."
"I promise."
He leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips, and then I walked him to the window. It was just drizzling softly now. "Don't slip," I said, worriedly, eyeing the slick roof outside.
"I won't." He kissed me one last time, quickly, and then climbed through the window. I closed it behind me, watching him until he moved around the corner of the roof and disappeared into the rain.
I mopped up the water on my floor with a blanket at the end of my bed and then got back under my covers, feeling relieved yet still unsettled. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the God of Mercy. He would always be my favorite.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Calder
The speakers went up the morning after I sneaked into Eden's room. Twelve of them in all, placed so wherever you were on Acadia, you could hear one of Hector's sermons being broadcasted.
I saw a few workers shooting each other confused looks as the sermons played on and on, only quieting once the sun set. Then it was like a sigh of relief just to hear your own thoughts. Everyone seemed to want to stay in the quiet of their own head after that and the usual chatter and laughter around the evening bonfires workers built mostly ceased. If we did talk, it was in quiet whispers. The mood shifted and no one seemed to know what to make of it exactly. My parents, though, seemed to be quietly accepting. At Temple, as I sat next to Hannah, Hector didn't explain the meaning of his broadcasted sermons. Instead, he repeated some of the same ones he had already given, growing quiet here and there as he stared off into space as if listening to someone, before he found his place again and continued on.
I saw him watching me though, his eyes meeting mine and lingering there, looking as if he suddenly didn't know who I was and was trying to figure it out. He didn't look at anyone else like that. I grabbed Hannah's hand and held it in mine and Hector's eyes moved down to our laced fingers and finally moved away. I couldn't help but to exhale. I didn't know what was going on with Hector, but something wasn't right. His hair was a mess, it looked like he'd slept in his clothes, and there were bags under his eyes. We needed to leave as quickly as possible.
Hannah squeezed my hand in hers and a pang of guilt raced through me. Not just because I was touching a woman who wasn't Eden, but also because Hannah was a nice girl, and she seemed happy with our engagement. It would hurt her when I simply disappeared. But it couldn't be helped. Hector had forced my hand and used Hannah as a pawn.
At the front of the Temple, Eden looked away. Be strong, Morning Glory, I whispered in my mind.
A week after the speakers went up, Hector declared we'd all be participating in special prayer sessions three times a day at the Temple. Truthfully, the prayer sessions were a quiet blessing. The heavy walls kept the broadcasted sermons out, and we all were able to sit quietly for an hour at a time.
I didn't talk to the gods anymore. Instead, I talked to Maya in my head, telling her about everything that'd gone on since she died. I told her all about Eden, and the things I'd never gotten to say to her when she was alive: she and Xander had always been my best friends, I was so proud of her, and I missed her every single day.
Xander and I also used the prayer sessions to quickly update each other on the progress of our money situation. Xander had been able to sneak into the council members' cars and take thirty-seven dollars total in change and dollar bills. He thought he'd left just enough to not make it look too suspicious. He'd even scored a gold chain in one car and a gold keychain in another. Apparently, the price of gold in the city was pretty high, or so Kristi had told him and it was common for people to sell it.
He kept it all under his floorboard at home, all ready to grab, along with the clothes he'd saved.
The problem with being in Temple so much during the day was the crops were being neglected and under the intense heat of the Arizona sun, the neglect began to take its toll. Only a few weeks later, our beans and vegetables were wilting, and the fruit from the fruit trees ripened and fell to the ground where the birds pecked at them.
If this went on much longer, we'd all starve to death. Hector had to know that.
One quiet morning in Temple, Hector walked to the front and stood looking at us quietly for several minutes before he finally spoke. "There is a thief among us."
My heart dropped and I glanced very quickly at Xander who continued to stare straight ahead at Hector, unblinking.
Hector looked around at the crowd. "There was a gold necklace stolen from one of the council member's cars. Who knows something of this?"
Holy hell.
No one said a word. You could have heard a pin drop on the other side of the room.
"No one?" Hector questioned. He leaned forward on the podium and waited, looking around again, his eyes landing on me and staying there for several beats. Finally he looked away.
"Eden, will you step forward, please?"
Eden's eyes rose to Hector, a confused look coming over her face. She stood and walked to him.
"If no one has the courage to stand and confess to their crime, an innocent will suffer the punishment. My own true love will suffer the punishment. For you see," he stood back, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I AM WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY OWN FOR YOUR SINS," he shouted. Eden startled and stepped back. "I WILL MAR MY BELOVED'S PERFECT SKIN FOR YOU."
My whole body tensed and fury raced down my spine. I saw Hannah in my peripheral vision looking over at me, but I didn't look back.
I started to step forward myself when Xander's voice rang out. "It was me, Father. I stole the necklace."
Hector's head swiveled over to Xander and his eyes narrowed on him. The crowd all shifted nervously, glancing between Xander and Hector.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it again. If I said something, I'd likely make this worse for all three of us. Every muscle in my body was tensed for fight, and my brain started working out the path I'd take to Eden and how quickly I could get there.
Hector leaned forward casually on the podium. "Xander Garen," he said, pushing his now overly long hair out of his eyes. "Where is this necklace?"
Xander hesitated. "I'll go retrieve it for you, Father."
"No, I'll send someone to retrieve it. Tell me where it is."
Oh no.
I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them, looking down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Xander open his mouth and then close it again. He was stuck.
"The truth is, Father, I couldn't explain it exactly. I'd need to accompany the person."
Hector stared at Xander with narrowed eyes and I held my breath. "Very well," he finally said and I exhaled. Maybe if Xander went along, he'd have time to push the other items out of the way. Something. Anything. If not, we'd be back to square one. I felt like I might vomit.
"Clive," Hector barked, "escort the boy to retrieve your stolen property."
I dared to glance at Eden and her face was blanched of all color, her expression shocked. I looked away.
Clive walked to Xander slowly, took him by the arm, and they exited the Temple as my heart rate tripled. My mind raced, too, trying to figure out what I could do. I looked back up at the stage and Hector's hand was still on Eden. If I ran after Xander, making a spectacle of my disobedience, I'd be leaving Eden alone with Hector. Would he do something to her to punish me? Something had come unhinged in his mind. I didn't even want to consider what it might be.
Hector stood with Eden at his podium, finishing his sermon, although what I focused on sounded disjointed and Hector stumbled over his own words several times. Eden stared down at the floor, the color barely returning to her face.
What seemed like a lifetime later, but in reality was probably only twenty minutes or so, Hector began the final prayer. When we all filtered out, I noticed people looking at others with questioning expressions on their faces. Everyone knew something was happening in Acadia that no one could exactly explain. And everyone was uneasy.
Suddenly, the sight of Xander, kneeling on the ground with his hands tied around a post came into view. Clive Richter stood behind him, a long cord in his hands. My entire body tensed and I didn't even have time to consider before I started running toward them. "Grab him!" I heard Hector yell and somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I heard Eden scream.
Strong arms grabbed me from the side and pulled me back, and as I turned to fight the person off me, someone else grabbed me from the side. Council members, Garrett Shipley and Ken Wahl, held me as the first whip crack sounded. It enraged me, sending adrenaline coursing through my system. I elbowed Ken in the face and then used my free arm to punch Garrett, sending blood spraying as he yelped and brought his hands up to his broken nose. As they both let go of me, I ran forward again.
"Stop, Calder," Xander yelled. Reluctantly, I stopped in my tracks. His head was hanging and his jaw was tight, but he widened his eyes and shook his head, instructing me to stay back. I didn't know what to do. Everything in my body was screaming at me to fight for my friend, but he was asking me not to. I brought my hands up into my hair and raked my fingers across my scalp, wanting to roar with anger.
Garrett and Ken came up behind me and grabbed my arms again. I didn't resist, didn't look at them.
Clive brought the whip back and let it fly again and this time I watched as it hit Xander's na**d back, opening his skin in a long, raw, red line. Xander jerked, but remained quiet. Oh, Xander. My brother, my friend. I grimaced, closing my eyes briefly.
Calder grinned. "I think he simply believes we've caught each other's eye, nothing more."
I nodded, but didn't mention how I'd confided in Hailey. That hadn't been smart. I had just thought for a brief moment she might help us. But she hadn't.
Calder looked at me seriously. "Just the fact that I've looked at you has made him crazy though, Eden. This," he moved his eyes around my room, indicating where he was, "is truly stupid. I just couldn't stand you not knowing what I was thinking. It was killing me."
"You could have sent a note somehow . . . some way."
"Yes, I could have. It would have been smarter." He gazed at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if in the last month, he had forgotten what I looked like.
"Yes," I agreed. I should make him leave. But he was right in front of me, his hair slicked all the way back from his gorgeous face, droplets still shimmering on his skin, and the male smell of him invading the air around me, making me want to close my eyes and inhale deeply.
And I understood the frantic feeling of needing to offer comfort to the one you loved, against all reason, all rational thought.
I put one hand up to his cheek and he closed his eyes and turned into it. "I'm so, so sorry about Maya," I whispered, tears immediately pricking my eyes. "I wanted so desperately to come to you."
A look of pain crossed Calder's features and he allowed it to remain there. Something about that made me fierce with protectiveness. He loved and trusted me enough to bare his pain to me. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his face into my neck and just breathed as I rubbed his back and turned to kiss his cheek again and again.
When I leaned back, Calder said, "It was so sudden. I didn't have time to prepare." He leaned back up. "It still doesn't seem real. I wondered if the gods were punishing me for what we did."
I bit my lip. "By causing Maya's death?" I shook my head. "Are the gods that cruel?"
Calder sighed out. "I don't think so but I have no proof."
I let out a breath and looked down at my nightgown-covered lap. "When we get out of here, I'll find you proof. I'll study every piece of information available until I find you proof."
Calder smiled a small, sad smile. "My Morning Glory."
We stared at each other for a minute until Calder's eyes finally moved down my body. "So this is what you sleep in?"
I looked down at the long, white nightgown and nodded my head slowly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I'll wear something nicer when we sleep together," I said, feeling like a child in the modest, unattractive piece of nightwear. I knew women in the outside world showed skin sometimes. I very vaguely remembered wrapping my own arms around my mothers bare legs, her skirt just touching her knees, as she smiled and looked down at me. It seemed like a dream now.
Calder shook his head slowly, a look of heat coming into his eyes. "No, I love it. You're like a present I have to unwrap." One side of his lips quirked up. There it was. My smile.
"What do you wear to sleep in?" I asked.
Calder smiled. "Far more than I'll be wearing when I sleep with you," he said, grinning and leaning forward to kiss my neck. I leaned my head back, moaning softly.
"Calder . . ." I started, glancing back at my door. "We promised we'd be careful until we can leave . . . the sacrifice will all be—"
"I know," Calder whispered against my skin. "I'll leave in a second. Just another taste of you and I'll go."
"Mmm," I murmured as his lips feathered against my neck, sending a bolt of arousal straight between my legs. "The rain's stopping. You need to go," I said, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him back slightly.
Calder brought his head up and gave me his full beauty. I stared in his lust-filled eyes, his lips barely parted. With everything in me, I wanted to kiss those lips until I was dizzy and breathless. But Hector was right down the hall, and if we were caught, it would ruin everything.
Calder took my hands, stood up, and held me against him tightly. "I hate saying goodbye to you."
I nuzzled my face into his chest and then tipped my head back and looked up at him. "Just promise me once we get out of here, we'll never say goodbye again."
"I promise."
He leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips, and then I walked him to the window. It was just drizzling softly now. "Don't slip," I said, worriedly, eyeing the slick roof outside.
"I won't." He kissed me one last time, quickly, and then climbed through the window. I closed it behind me, watching him until he moved around the corner of the roof and disappeared into the rain.
I mopped up the water on my floor with a blanket at the end of my bed and then got back under my covers, feeling relieved yet still unsettled. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the God of Mercy. He would always be my favorite.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Calder
The speakers went up the morning after I sneaked into Eden's room. Twelve of them in all, placed so wherever you were on Acadia, you could hear one of Hector's sermons being broadcasted.
I saw a few workers shooting each other confused looks as the sermons played on and on, only quieting once the sun set. Then it was like a sigh of relief just to hear your own thoughts. Everyone seemed to want to stay in the quiet of their own head after that and the usual chatter and laughter around the evening bonfires workers built mostly ceased. If we did talk, it was in quiet whispers. The mood shifted and no one seemed to know what to make of it exactly. My parents, though, seemed to be quietly accepting. At Temple, as I sat next to Hannah, Hector didn't explain the meaning of his broadcasted sermons. Instead, he repeated some of the same ones he had already given, growing quiet here and there as he stared off into space as if listening to someone, before he found his place again and continued on.
I saw him watching me though, his eyes meeting mine and lingering there, looking as if he suddenly didn't know who I was and was trying to figure it out. He didn't look at anyone else like that. I grabbed Hannah's hand and held it in mine and Hector's eyes moved down to our laced fingers and finally moved away. I couldn't help but to exhale. I didn't know what was going on with Hector, but something wasn't right. His hair was a mess, it looked like he'd slept in his clothes, and there were bags under his eyes. We needed to leave as quickly as possible.
Hannah squeezed my hand in hers and a pang of guilt raced through me. Not just because I was touching a woman who wasn't Eden, but also because Hannah was a nice girl, and she seemed happy with our engagement. It would hurt her when I simply disappeared. But it couldn't be helped. Hector had forced my hand and used Hannah as a pawn.
At the front of the Temple, Eden looked away. Be strong, Morning Glory, I whispered in my mind.
A week after the speakers went up, Hector declared we'd all be participating in special prayer sessions three times a day at the Temple. Truthfully, the prayer sessions were a quiet blessing. The heavy walls kept the broadcasted sermons out, and we all were able to sit quietly for an hour at a time.
I didn't talk to the gods anymore. Instead, I talked to Maya in my head, telling her about everything that'd gone on since she died. I told her all about Eden, and the things I'd never gotten to say to her when she was alive: she and Xander had always been my best friends, I was so proud of her, and I missed her every single day.
Xander and I also used the prayer sessions to quickly update each other on the progress of our money situation. Xander had been able to sneak into the council members' cars and take thirty-seven dollars total in change and dollar bills. He thought he'd left just enough to not make it look too suspicious. He'd even scored a gold chain in one car and a gold keychain in another. Apparently, the price of gold in the city was pretty high, or so Kristi had told him and it was common for people to sell it.
He kept it all under his floorboard at home, all ready to grab, along with the clothes he'd saved.
The problem with being in Temple so much during the day was the crops were being neglected and under the intense heat of the Arizona sun, the neglect began to take its toll. Only a few weeks later, our beans and vegetables were wilting, and the fruit from the fruit trees ripened and fell to the ground where the birds pecked at them.
If this went on much longer, we'd all starve to death. Hector had to know that.
One quiet morning in Temple, Hector walked to the front and stood looking at us quietly for several minutes before he finally spoke. "There is a thief among us."
My heart dropped and I glanced very quickly at Xander who continued to stare straight ahead at Hector, unblinking.
Hector looked around at the crowd. "There was a gold necklace stolen from one of the council member's cars. Who knows something of this?"
Holy hell.
No one said a word. You could have heard a pin drop on the other side of the room.
"No one?" Hector questioned. He leaned forward on the podium and waited, looking around again, his eyes landing on me and staying there for several beats. Finally he looked away.
"Eden, will you step forward, please?"
Eden's eyes rose to Hector, a confused look coming over her face. She stood and walked to him.
"If no one has the courage to stand and confess to their crime, an innocent will suffer the punishment. My own true love will suffer the punishment. For you see," he stood back, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I AM WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY OWN FOR YOUR SINS," he shouted. Eden startled and stepped back. "I WILL MAR MY BELOVED'S PERFECT SKIN FOR YOU."
My whole body tensed and fury raced down my spine. I saw Hannah in my peripheral vision looking over at me, but I didn't look back.
I started to step forward myself when Xander's voice rang out. "It was me, Father. I stole the necklace."
Hector's head swiveled over to Xander and his eyes narrowed on him. The crowd all shifted nervously, glancing between Xander and Hector.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it again. If I said something, I'd likely make this worse for all three of us. Every muscle in my body was tensed for fight, and my brain started working out the path I'd take to Eden and how quickly I could get there.
Hector leaned forward casually on the podium. "Xander Garen," he said, pushing his now overly long hair out of his eyes. "Where is this necklace?"
Xander hesitated. "I'll go retrieve it for you, Father."
"No, I'll send someone to retrieve it. Tell me where it is."
Oh no.
I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them, looking down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Xander open his mouth and then close it again. He was stuck.
"The truth is, Father, I couldn't explain it exactly. I'd need to accompany the person."
Hector stared at Xander with narrowed eyes and I held my breath. "Very well," he finally said and I exhaled. Maybe if Xander went along, he'd have time to push the other items out of the way. Something. Anything. If not, we'd be back to square one. I felt like I might vomit.
"Clive," Hector barked, "escort the boy to retrieve your stolen property."
I dared to glance at Eden and her face was blanched of all color, her expression shocked. I looked away.
Clive walked to Xander slowly, took him by the arm, and they exited the Temple as my heart rate tripled. My mind raced, too, trying to figure out what I could do. I looked back up at the stage and Hector's hand was still on Eden. If I ran after Xander, making a spectacle of my disobedience, I'd be leaving Eden alone with Hector. Would he do something to her to punish me? Something had come unhinged in his mind. I didn't even want to consider what it might be.
Hector stood with Eden at his podium, finishing his sermon, although what I focused on sounded disjointed and Hector stumbled over his own words several times. Eden stared down at the floor, the color barely returning to her face.
What seemed like a lifetime later, but in reality was probably only twenty minutes or so, Hector began the final prayer. When we all filtered out, I noticed people looking at others with questioning expressions on their faces. Everyone knew something was happening in Acadia that no one could exactly explain. And everyone was uneasy.
Suddenly, the sight of Xander, kneeling on the ground with his hands tied around a post came into view. Clive Richter stood behind him, a long cord in his hands. My entire body tensed and I didn't even have time to consider before I started running toward them. "Grab him!" I heard Hector yell and somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I heard Eden scream.
Strong arms grabbed me from the side and pulled me back, and as I turned to fight the person off me, someone else grabbed me from the side. Council members, Garrett Shipley and Ken Wahl, held me as the first whip crack sounded. It enraged me, sending adrenaline coursing through my system. I elbowed Ken in the face and then used my free arm to punch Garrett, sending blood spraying as he yelped and brought his hands up to his broken nose. As they both let go of me, I ran forward again.
"Stop, Calder," Xander yelled. Reluctantly, I stopped in my tracks. His head was hanging and his jaw was tight, but he widened his eyes and shook his head, instructing me to stay back. I didn't know what to do. Everything in my body was screaming at me to fight for my friend, but he was asking me not to. I brought my hands up into my hair and raked my fingers across my scalp, wanting to roar with anger.
Garrett and Ken came up behind me and grabbed my arms again. I didn't resist, didn't look at them.
Clive brought the whip back and let it fly again and this time I watched as it hit Xander's na**d back, opening his skin in a long, raw, red line. Xander jerked, but remained quiet. Oh, Xander. My brother, my friend. I grimaced, closing my eyes briefly.
