Becoming Calder
Page 33
"No, you made the right choice, did the right thing. And we'd have had to leave soon anyway. My marriage to Hannah is supposed to take place next week." Calder brought his hands to my cheeks, tilting my face up and looking into my eyes. "And after today, Xander and I had already decided to leave earlier." He studied me. "You were so brave."
We stared at each other for a few seconds; I drew strength from the face I loved so very, very much. I felt calmer already. We were together. We were safe—for now.
"Our only issue now is we don't have a cent to our name," Calder said.
"Oh," I said, stepping back. "No, that's not true." I walked to the canvas bag I'd hidden in the bushes behind the main lodge. Thankfully, I'd been able to sneak around and retrieve it quickly after I'd jumped out of Hector's office window. From there I'd snuck to the grove of trees a hundred feet or so from the sick tent, done my best nighthawk call three times, and then made my way carefully to the trail that led to the spring.
I knelt down on the grass and dumped out the contents of my bag, all the loose cash I'd stolen all over the main lodge, and all the jewelry I'd swiped from the council members and their wives. I had become especially brazen as Calder's marriage to Hannah drew near. I really should have been the one to be whipped today. It was only Xander's bad luck that the one thing discovered was something he'd taken.
I reached inside the bag and scooped out all the loose change I had and then looked up at Calder, standing right next to me, his mouth hanging open. Xander rolled toward the loud sound of the change clinking onto the ground, his eyes dreamy, half open.
"Well, holy hell," Xander mumbled out.
"For the love of the gods. She's worse than you," Calder said, looking over at Xander.
"Where'd you find her?" Xander asked woozily, slurring. "I think I'm in love."
Calder laughed and looked over at me, his dark eyes filled with warmth. "Oh, I found her by this pretty spring one time . . ."
I smiled at Calder and then Xander attempted a grin, but promptly passed out again, his head falling back to the ground. Calder looked from Xander, snoring softly, back to me and started to laugh, shaking his head as if the whole situation was kind of ridiculous, which in actuality, I guessed it kind of was.
"Isn't this what you wanted me to do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Calder stopped laughing. "Hell no," he said. "It was far too dangerous." He let out a breath, one side of his lip quirking up. "But since it's done, I'm glad you did."
I smiled up at him as he knelt down on the grass next to me and started taking inventory of what we had. After a few minutes, he said, "Three hundred eighty-three dollars." He put the paper money in a neat stack and then handed it to me so I could put it back in the bag.
"I have no idea how much this other stuff could be worth," Calder said, holding up a gold ring with a red stone in it, a ruby maybe. "But it's gotta be worth something, especially if this is real gold."
I nodded and then we packed everything back up in the bag. He looked at me. "You did really well, Eden," he said. The look in his eyes told me he was not only impressed, but thankful and relieved. I smiled proudly.
"So now the only thing we have to do is get changed and get out of here," Calder said. "Eden, you're gonna have to help me change Xander."
I nodded and then frowned. "If he can't dress himself, how's he going to walk?"
"He's not," Calder said. "I'm going to carry him. And get him somewhere he can heal," he finished quietly.
Calder grabbed the bag he'd dropped by the entrance to the spring and perused the items for a few minutes, holding them up and then deciding who should get what.
Calder and I dressed Xander in jeans and a blue button-up shirt, trying our best not to hurt his back. But he was pretty out of it and didn't seem to be in any pain. I turned my head when I was at risk of seeing something too personal and let Calder take over.
As Calder was dressing, I packed everything up in the bag and then turned around. I sucked in a breath. Calder was wearing blue jeans with a light gray T-shirt that was just a little bit too fitted over his lean muscles, but in a way that made my mouth go dry. And he was wearing a cap with some kind of orange logo that looked like an S and an F entwined together.
I grinned. "You'll do." My smile faded. "But what am I supposed to wear?"
"We were going to wait for Kristi to give you something," he said. "So you'll have to wear what you're wearing for now. Hopefully with us dressed normally, you'll blend."
I nodded. There was no other choice. "So what do we do?"
"We get far away from here, and we find a hotel until Xander can call Kristi."
"I think we're about twenty miles from the city," he continued. "Maybe fifteen. Do you think you can make it?"
I nodded my head. I'd do whatever I had to do to get far, far away from Hector and his wild eyes. I'd walk barefoot if I had to. I glanced down at our feet. We all still had on the same simple sandals we always wore. There was one woman who made them on Acadia, and her craftsmanship was about to be put to the test.
"But Calder, you can't walk twenty miles, carrying Xander," I whispered.
"I don't have a choice," Calder said. "I'm sure as hell not leaving him here."
My heart swelled with love for my brave, strong boy.
"I think it's a good idea to stick to the desert area as much as possible since Hector most likely sent someone, or many someones, after you." A chill went down my spine and I considered what was in store for us as Calder went and picked Xander up gently, his strong thighs flexing through his jeans as he stood up and again put him over his shoulder.
I wished so desperately I could just snap my fingers and we'd be in a room somewhere deep in the city, safe and locked behind a door. But of course, life never worked that way. You had to live every minute of the hard part in order to get to the good. Maybe that made it all the sweeter though. If you could just skip over the bad parts in life, the good parts would start to feel bland and emotionless. In that moment though, with fear and trepidation moving through my body, bland sounded just fine.
"You ready, Eden?" Calder asked, looking at me and seeming to ask me if I was ready for more than just the hike out of here. Was I ready for a new life? A different life? Perhaps a very long and scary journey to get there?
"Yes," I answered simply.
Calder gazed at me, and then nodded.
"Drink as much water as possible," Calder instructed. "We don't have anything to carry it in and it might be hours before we can find any more. I gave Xander a little water before I heard your call, so he should be okay, especially since he won't be the one exerting himself." His lips set in a grim line.
I leaned over the side of the spring, and put my mouth under the trickling waterfall, and then Calder did the same.
It was time to leave.
We went out through a very small opening between two large, towering rocks on the far side of our spring. Before we left, I made a point of moving the brush in front of the opening where we entered so it was covered completely and didn't look out of place. I didn't want anyone to find this place . . . not just because they'd know where we escaped from, but also because, to me, this place was sacred. I didn't want anyone else tromping through it, at least not before we had a new sacred ground, our own little piece of Elysium on earth.
As we hiked up and climbed over and between rocks, we grew quiet, listening for the sounds of other people. The only sound I heard was Calder's huffing breaths as he carried Xander on his back, straight uphill. I didn't want to think too much about who Hector would have sent after me, or that feeling of dread would come over me again as I pictured his crazed eyes. Instead, I daydreamed about what Calder's and my little slice of peace would look like once we got to where we were going. I had such a small frame of reference, so I mostly used the feelings I remembered from being with my own family before they died, and even the things I loved about the main lodge.
I'd want a bedroom with a huge window like the one at the back of the lodge that looked out on a beautiful view. Not the desert, for we'd be far away, but maybe a body of water, or trees, or a forest of some sort. I'd have a big kitchen and I'd cook dinner for Calder every night. I hadn't been taught how to cook, but I'd watched Hailey in the kitchen, taking note in my mind about how she made bread that rose perfectly and melted in your mouth. I knew all the basics, not because anyone had taught me, but because I'd paid attention. Yes, my kitchen would be the heart of our home.
And there would be babies. I wanted ten babies and I wanted each of them to look like Calder.
Calder glanced back at me, over Xander, and did a double take at my expression. Did I look dreamy-eyed? I couldn't help the blush that rose up my cheeks and I widened my eyes at him. Here I was, planning out his whole life for him in detail as we climbed away from danger. Surely, that wasn't the appropriate focus right now. But I couldn't help dreaming. I had been denied dreaming for so long, too afraid of letting the details come into focus, too afraid they'd be ripped from me. But now, with each step, each foothold, my dreams came just that much closer to coming true. The world felt almost wide open to me right now. I wanted to raise my arms and laugh up at the sky. Calder looked back at me again and when he caught my eye this time, he grinned and I grinned back. There was finally a glimpse of hope. I could see he felt it, too.
When we reached higher ground we both stood together catching our breath for a few minutes.
"Do you need to rest for a while?" I asked.
"No," he said and started walking again.
I looked around, getting my bearings. We were about a half-mile away from the main lodge now. I could see the glowing lights of the windows. It looked like every light in the place was on. I shivered slightly and leaned toward Calder. He put his arm not supporting Xander around me and pulled me into him, looking off in the same direction, lost in his own thoughts. Over his other shoulder, Xander snored.
"That way," Calder pointed. "It'll eventually bring us to the main road, but it looks like there's plenty of rock cover in case we see or hear a car coming." Calder gave me a quick squeeze and we started off again, walking as fast as we could.
"If we keep up this speed," Calder murmured, "we can make it to the city before daylight. That's the goal, okay?" He looked back at me walking behind him and I nodded.
We walked for hours, our path the one that provided the most cover, even if it meant walking in a sort of zigzag pattern now and again. Cover was more important than time, although time was important, too. We saw cars go by on the road twice, but had plenty of warning ahead of time because of the black desert night, and the noise of the engine. Each time we ducked safely behind rocks as the cars drove by slowly.
"I need water," I finally said hours later, parched and unable to keep silent about my need to quench my thirst. Calder stopped walking, looking as parched as me.
"I think I see lights from houses about half a mile away." He pointed and I squinted my eyes to see what he meant. I, too, saw a few very distant lights, but couldn't tell what they were.
I nodded. We started walking again. We didn't talk. The cloud cover was low, so the light from the stars was muted and dull, casting just enough light to see where we were going and what immediately surrounded us.
About ten minutes later, we were able to see that indeed, Calder had been correct. We came upon a few small houses, far apart, and set back off the road. I followed Calder as he walked quietly to the house, around the side. There was a hose there, rolled up against the house, connected to a faucet. I breathed out in relief, practically able to taste the wetness in my dry mouth and feel it on my chapped lips. Calder gazed around, looking edgy. I was too thirsty to be nervous.
I squatted down by the house and turned the faucet. It came on with a squeak and the hose filled as the water traveled through it, bursting out the end that I held up to my lips. I drank thirstily for a few seconds—the water sweet and delicious—and then handed it to Calder who lay Xander down gently, straightened his back, stretching, before taking the hose and drinking thirstily.
Once we'd had as much as we needed, Calder turned off the water and stood staring down at Xander again before he picked him back up, putting him over his shoulder. He had to be in pain. As we begun to walk to the front of the house again, something big and dark suddenly lunged at us and I screamed, stumbling backward against Calder.
"What the hell?" he burst out, stumbling backward, too.
A large dog started barking and lunged at us again. I screamed one more time, until I realized the dog was chained up and was only lunging toward us as far as he could go.
The front door of the small house burst open and the porch light came on, illuminating a man holding a shotgun. "Who's there?" he called. "Show yourself!"
"Run," Calder said, so low I almost didn't hear it. He yanked my hand and I lurched after him. A shotgun blast sounded behind us and I let out a small scream again and kept running, holding on to Calder's hand for dear life. I heard Xander slur loudly, "What the hell?" as we ran. When we had made it to a grove of trees, far enough away to know we weren't being followed, we stopped and I put my hands on my thighs, breathing heavily. Calder lay Xander down on the ground and Xander sat up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face and looking around confused.
"What the hell?" he asked again, under his breath.
We stared at each other for a few seconds; I drew strength from the face I loved so very, very much. I felt calmer already. We were together. We were safe—for now.
"Our only issue now is we don't have a cent to our name," Calder said.
"Oh," I said, stepping back. "No, that's not true." I walked to the canvas bag I'd hidden in the bushes behind the main lodge. Thankfully, I'd been able to sneak around and retrieve it quickly after I'd jumped out of Hector's office window. From there I'd snuck to the grove of trees a hundred feet or so from the sick tent, done my best nighthawk call three times, and then made my way carefully to the trail that led to the spring.
I knelt down on the grass and dumped out the contents of my bag, all the loose cash I'd stolen all over the main lodge, and all the jewelry I'd swiped from the council members and their wives. I had become especially brazen as Calder's marriage to Hannah drew near. I really should have been the one to be whipped today. It was only Xander's bad luck that the one thing discovered was something he'd taken.
I reached inside the bag and scooped out all the loose change I had and then looked up at Calder, standing right next to me, his mouth hanging open. Xander rolled toward the loud sound of the change clinking onto the ground, his eyes dreamy, half open.
"Well, holy hell," Xander mumbled out.
"For the love of the gods. She's worse than you," Calder said, looking over at Xander.
"Where'd you find her?" Xander asked woozily, slurring. "I think I'm in love."
Calder laughed and looked over at me, his dark eyes filled with warmth. "Oh, I found her by this pretty spring one time . . ."
I smiled at Calder and then Xander attempted a grin, but promptly passed out again, his head falling back to the ground. Calder looked from Xander, snoring softly, back to me and started to laugh, shaking his head as if the whole situation was kind of ridiculous, which in actuality, I guessed it kind of was.
"Isn't this what you wanted me to do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Calder stopped laughing. "Hell no," he said. "It was far too dangerous." He let out a breath, one side of his lip quirking up. "But since it's done, I'm glad you did."
I smiled up at him as he knelt down on the grass next to me and started taking inventory of what we had. After a few minutes, he said, "Three hundred eighty-three dollars." He put the paper money in a neat stack and then handed it to me so I could put it back in the bag.
"I have no idea how much this other stuff could be worth," Calder said, holding up a gold ring with a red stone in it, a ruby maybe. "But it's gotta be worth something, especially if this is real gold."
I nodded and then we packed everything back up in the bag. He looked at me. "You did really well, Eden," he said. The look in his eyes told me he was not only impressed, but thankful and relieved. I smiled proudly.
"So now the only thing we have to do is get changed and get out of here," Calder said. "Eden, you're gonna have to help me change Xander."
I nodded and then frowned. "If he can't dress himself, how's he going to walk?"
"He's not," Calder said. "I'm going to carry him. And get him somewhere he can heal," he finished quietly.
Calder grabbed the bag he'd dropped by the entrance to the spring and perused the items for a few minutes, holding them up and then deciding who should get what.
Calder and I dressed Xander in jeans and a blue button-up shirt, trying our best not to hurt his back. But he was pretty out of it and didn't seem to be in any pain. I turned my head when I was at risk of seeing something too personal and let Calder take over.
As Calder was dressing, I packed everything up in the bag and then turned around. I sucked in a breath. Calder was wearing blue jeans with a light gray T-shirt that was just a little bit too fitted over his lean muscles, but in a way that made my mouth go dry. And he was wearing a cap with some kind of orange logo that looked like an S and an F entwined together.
I grinned. "You'll do." My smile faded. "But what am I supposed to wear?"
"We were going to wait for Kristi to give you something," he said. "So you'll have to wear what you're wearing for now. Hopefully with us dressed normally, you'll blend."
I nodded. There was no other choice. "So what do we do?"
"We get far away from here, and we find a hotel until Xander can call Kristi."
"I think we're about twenty miles from the city," he continued. "Maybe fifteen. Do you think you can make it?"
I nodded my head. I'd do whatever I had to do to get far, far away from Hector and his wild eyes. I'd walk barefoot if I had to. I glanced down at our feet. We all still had on the same simple sandals we always wore. There was one woman who made them on Acadia, and her craftsmanship was about to be put to the test.
"But Calder, you can't walk twenty miles, carrying Xander," I whispered.
"I don't have a choice," Calder said. "I'm sure as hell not leaving him here."
My heart swelled with love for my brave, strong boy.
"I think it's a good idea to stick to the desert area as much as possible since Hector most likely sent someone, or many someones, after you." A chill went down my spine and I considered what was in store for us as Calder went and picked Xander up gently, his strong thighs flexing through his jeans as he stood up and again put him over his shoulder.
I wished so desperately I could just snap my fingers and we'd be in a room somewhere deep in the city, safe and locked behind a door. But of course, life never worked that way. You had to live every minute of the hard part in order to get to the good. Maybe that made it all the sweeter though. If you could just skip over the bad parts in life, the good parts would start to feel bland and emotionless. In that moment though, with fear and trepidation moving through my body, bland sounded just fine.
"You ready, Eden?" Calder asked, looking at me and seeming to ask me if I was ready for more than just the hike out of here. Was I ready for a new life? A different life? Perhaps a very long and scary journey to get there?
"Yes," I answered simply.
Calder gazed at me, and then nodded.
"Drink as much water as possible," Calder instructed. "We don't have anything to carry it in and it might be hours before we can find any more. I gave Xander a little water before I heard your call, so he should be okay, especially since he won't be the one exerting himself." His lips set in a grim line.
I leaned over the side of the spring, and put my mouth under the trickling waterfall, and then Calder did the same.
It was time to leave.
We went out through a very small opening between two large, towering rocks on the far side of our spring. Before we left, I made a point of moving the brush in front of the opening where we entered so it was covered completely and didn't look out of place. I didn't want anyone to find this place . . . not just because they'd know where we escaped from, but also because, to me, this place was sacred. I didn't want anyone else tromping through it, at least not before we had a new sacred ground, our own little piece of Elysium on earth.
As we hiked up and climbed over and between rocks, we grew quiet, listening for the sounds of other people. The only sound I heard was Calder's huffing breaths as he carried Xander on his back, straight uphill. I didn't want to think too much about who Hector would have sent after me, or that feeling of dread would come over me again as I pictured his crazed eyes. Instead, I daydreamed about what Calder's and my little slice of peace would look like once we got to where we were going. I had such a small frame of reference, so I mostly used the feelings I remembered from being with my own family before they died, and even the things I loved about the main lodge.
I'd want a bedroom with a huge window like the one at the back of the lodge that looked out on a beautiful view. Not the desert, for we'd be far away, but maybe a body of water, or trees, or a forest of some sort. I'd have a big kitchen and I'd cook dinner for Calder every night. I hadn't been taught how to cook, but I'd watched Hailey in the kitchen, taking note in my mind about how she made bread that rose perfectly and melted in your mouth. I knew all the basics, not because anyone had taught me, but because I'd paid attention. Yes, my kitchen would be the heart of our home.
And there would be babies. I wanted ten babies and I wanted each of them to look like Calder.
Calder glanced back at me, over Xander, and did a double take at my expression. Did I look dreamy-eyed? I couldn't help the blush that rose up my cheeks and I widened my eyes at him. Here I was, planning out his whole life for him in detail as we climbed away from danger. Surely, that wasn't the appropriate focus right now. But I couldn't help dreaming. I had been denied dreaming for so long, too afraid of letting the details come into focus, too afraid they'd be ripped from me. But now, with each step, each foothold, my dreams came just that much closer to coming true. The world felt almost wide open to me right now. I wanted to raise my arms and laugh up at the sky. Calder looked back at me again and when he caught my eye this time, he grinned and I grinned back. There was finally a glimpse of hope. I could see he felt it, too.
When we reached higher ground we both stood together catching our breath for a few minutes.
"Do you need to rest for a while?" I asked.
"No," he said and started walking again.
I looked around, getting my bearings. We were about a half-mile away from the main lodge now. I could see the glowing lights of the windows. It looked like every light in the place was on. I shivered slightly and leaned toward Calder. He put his arm not supporting Xander around me and pulled me into him, looking off in the same direction, lost in his own thoughts. Over his other shoulder, Xander snored.
"That way," Calder pointed. "It'll eventually bring us to the main road, but it looks like there's plenty of rock cover in case we see or hear a car coming." Calder gave me a quick squeeze and we started off again, walking as fast as we could.
"If we keep up this speed," Calder murmured, "we can make it to the city before daylight. That's the goal, okay?" He looked back at me walking behind him and I nodded.
We walked for hours, our path the one that provided the most cover, even if it meant walking in a sort of zigzag pattern now and again. Cover was more important than time, although time was important, too. We saw cars go by on the road twice, but had plenty of warning ahead of time because of the black desert night, and the noise of the engine. Each time we ducked safely behind rocks as the cars drove by slowly.
"I need water," I finally said hours later, parched and unable to keep silent about my need to quench my thirst. Calder stopped walking, looking as parched as me.
"I think I see lights from houses about half a mile away." He pointed and I squinted my eyes to see what he meant. I, too, saw a few very distant lights, but couldn't tell what they were.
I nodded. We started walking again. We didn't talk. The cloud cover was low, so the light from the stars was muted and dull, casting just enough light to see where we were going and what immediately surrounded us.
About ten minutes later, we were able to see that indeed, Calder had been correct. We came upon a few small houses, far apart, and set back off the road. I followed Calder as he walked quietly to the house, around the side. There was a hose there, rolled up against the house, connected to a faucet. I breathed out in relief, practically able to taste the wetness in my dry mouth and feel it on my chapped lips. Calder gazed around, looking edgy. I was too thirsty to be nervous.
I squatted down by the house and turned the faucet. It came on with a squeak and the hose filled as the water traveled through it, bursting out the end that I held up to my lips. I drank thirstily for a few seconds—the water sweet and delicious—and then handed it to Calder who lay Xander down gently, straightened his back, stretching, before taking the hose and drinking thirstily.
Once we'd had as much as we needed, Calder turned off the water and stood staring down at Xander again before he picked him back up, putting him over his shoulder. He had to be in pain. As we begun to walk to the front of the house again, something big and dark suddenly lunged at us and I screamed, stumbling backward against Calder.
"What the hell?" he burst out, stumbling backward, too.
A large dog started barking and lunged at us again. I screamed one more time, until I realized the dog was chained up and was only lunging toward us as far as he could go.
The front door of the small house burst open and the porch light came on, illuminating a man holding a shotgun. "Who's there?" he called. "Show yourself!"
"Run," Calder said, so low I almost didn't hear it. He yanked my hand and I lurched after him. A shotgun blast sounded behind us and I let out a small scream again and kept running, holding on to Calder's hand for dear life. I heard Xander slur loudly, "What the hell?" as we ran. When we had made it to a grove of trees, far enough away to know we weren't being followed, we stopped and I put my hands on my thighs, breathing heavily. Calder lay Xander down on the ground and Xander sat up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face and looking around confused.
"What the hell?" he asked again, under his breath.
