Before I Wake
Page 59
Youre gonna be around long enough to slay hundreds of demons the thought of which made me sick but you only lose your virginity once. So, spill.
But I didnt want to. I wasnt done going over it in my head and I didnt feel like sharing the memory just yet. Even with my best friend. Its kind of private, Em.
Bullshit. I told you everything about my first time.
Yeah, but you may remember that I didnt actually ask you to.
Emma frowned, and I realized Id hurt her feelings. Fine. Forget it. She set her bottle down and hopped off the counter, and I had to chase her across the living room.
Em, wait. Im sorry. I grabbed her arm and she stopped and turned to face me. I want to tell you. I just I dont want to spoil the memory by talking about it. If that makes any sense.
Her eyes widened and she studied my face. Then she smiled. Wow. I didnt think talking about my first time could possibly make it worse than it already was.
What do you mean?
She laughed, but there was a bitter edge to the sound. Theres not much you can do to further ruin a memory consisting of staticky radio music, the backseat of a Camry, and a three-minute mistake.
Oh. Im sorry, Em .
She waved my apology off. Forget about mine. I want to hear about yours. Whatever you want to tell me. She reclaimed her water from the kitchen and we sank onto the couch facing each other, and I realized that shed been waiting for this for more than a year. Since the night of the Camry and the boy whod barely spoken to her afterward.
I made a mental note to tell Tod how wonderful he was every single time I saw him, for the rest of our afterlives.
So? she prompted, leaving the details up to me.
Sohes beautiful. I couldnt stop smiling, and my stomach was doing flip-flops over just the memory of the past hour of my life, so blessedly different from the hour before that.
Em rolled her eyes. I know. Everyone whos ever seen him knows. The Hudsons have freakishly good genes. What else?
I love him. Like, to-the-end-of-time love him. Is that silly? Because Ive truly lost all perspective. Is it naive of me to think hell be the only one. Like, ever?
Em laughed. Could you have imagined this moment a year ago? Youre up to the hilt of your magical dagger in demon guts one minute, then ready to vow forever to an angel swinging a scythe the next.
He doesnt actually have a scythe, you know.
My point stands.
So, have I lost it? Am I crazy for even mentioningforever?
Emma shrugged. Normally Id say thats the postcoital euphoria talking, but considering that the two of you are facing eternity together, I think youre feeling exactly what youre supposed to be feeling. Emma shrugged. That said, I dont think you understand how this is supposed to work. Your details are adorable and sweet. Like, diabetic-coma sweet. But Id really appreciate anything in the neighborhood of time, place, or position.
Position? I could feel my face flame.
Never mind. Time and place, then.
Um, right before you got here. My room.
Em glanced around, suddenly paranoid. Is he still here?
No, he had to go back to work, and I still have to meet with Madeline, so
You want me to go?
No, I want you to stay. I told you Thanes back, right? I said, already hating the change in subject, and she nodded. Well, hes not alone. Avaris here, Em.
Here, as in?
In the human world. I dont know how hes doing it, but he killed a woman at the mall, and My phone beeped from my pocket, and I pulled it out to find an incomprehensible text from Madeline.
T&# at you3.
I was still frowning at the screen when she materialized in my living room, and Styx started growling from his perch in my fathers chair. I apologize, Kaylee, but there doesnt appear to be enough buttons on my phone to actually type a complete sentence, and I dont see the point of text messaging, when we could just as easily speak on the phone or in person. She stopped when she noticed Emma, who obviously could neither see nor hear her. But she could see me staring at an empty spot in my living room, and shed been around long enough to know what that meant.
Tell her to leave, Madeline said, crossing both arms over her chest, phone still clutched in one hand. We have business to discuss.
Emmas involved in that business, so she stays.
This is not up for negotiation, Ms. Cavanaugh. Madeline always used my last name when she was frustrated with me. Which was most of the time.
Unless youve recruited a new extractor in the past couple of hours, I dont see that you have much of a choice. You need me. We need each other. And Emma is involved, so she gets to hear everything I get to hear. Until and unless I decided that knowing too much would put her in more danger than she was already in.
Madeline scowled, and a week ago, that alone would have made me give in. But not anymore. Not now that I understood just how many peoples lives were at stake.
But I didnt want to. I wasnt done going over it in my head and I didnt feel like sharing the memory just yet. Even with my best friend. Its kind of private, Em.
Bullshit. I told you everything about my first time.
Yeah, but you may remember that I didnt actually ask you to.
Emma frowned, and I realized Id hurt her feelings. Fine. Forget it. She set her bottle down and hopped off the counter, and I had to chase her across the living room.
Em, wait. Im sorry. I grabbed her arm and she stopped and turned to face me. I want to tell you. I just I dont want to spoil the memory by talking about it. If that makes any sense.
Her eyes widened and she studied my face. Then she smiled. Wow. I didnt think talking about my first time could possibly make it worse than it already was.
What do you mean?
She laughed, but there was a bitter edge to the sound. Theres not much you can do to further ruin a memory consisting of staticky radio music, the backseat of a Camry, and a three-minute mistake.
Oh. Im sorry, Em .
She waved my apology off. Forget about mine. I want to hear about yours. Whatever you want to tell me. She reclaimed her water from the kitchen and we sank onto the couch facing each other, and I realized that shed been waiting for this for more than a year. Since the night of the Camry and the boy whod barely spoken to her afterward.
I made a mental note to tell Tod how wonderful he was every single time I saw him, for the rest of our afterlives.
So? she prompted, leaving the details up to me.
Sohes beautiful. I couldnt stop smiling, and my stomach was doing flip-flops over just the memory of the past hour of my life, so blessedly different from the hour before that.
Em rolled her eyes. I know. Everyone whos ever seen him knows. The Hudsons have freakishly good genes. What else?
I love him. Like, to-the-end-of-time love him. Is that silly? Because Ive truly lost all perspective. Is it naive of me to think hell be the only one. Like, ever?
Em laughed. Could you have imagined this moment a year ago? Youre up to the hilt of your magical dagger in demon guts one minute, then ready to vow forever to an angel swinging a scythe the next.
He doesnt actually have a scythe, you know.
My point stands.
So, have I lost it? Am I crazy for even mentioningforever?
Emma shrugged. Normally Id say thats the postcoital euphoria talking, but considering that the two of you are facing eternity together, I think youre feeling exactly what youre supposed to be feeling. Emma shrugged. That said, I dont think you understand how this is supposed to work. Your details are adorable and sweet. Like, diabetic-coma sweet. But Id really appreciate anything in the neighborhood of time, place, or position.
Position? I could feel my face flame.
Never mind. Time and place, then.
Um, right before you got here. My room.
Em glanced around, suddenly paranoid. Is he still here?
No, he had to go back to work, and I still have to meet with Madeline, so
You want me to go?
No, I want you to stay. I told you Thanes back, right? I said, already hating the change in subject, and she nodded. Well, hes not alone. Avaris here, Em.
Here, as in?
In the human world. I dont know how hes doing it, but he killed a woman at the mall, and My phone beeped from my pocket, and I pulled it out to find an incomprehensible text from Madeline.
T&# at you3.
I was still frowning at the screen when she materialized in my living room, and Styx started growling from his perch in my fathers chair. I apologize, Kaylee, but there doesnt appear to be enough buttons on my phone to actually type a complete sentence, and I dont see the point of text messaging, when we could just as easily speak on the phone or in person. She stopped when she noticed Emma, who obviously could neither see nor hear her. But she could see me staring at an empty spot in my living room, and shed been around long enough to know what that meant.
Tell her to leave, Madeline said, crossing both arms over her chest, phone still clutched in one hand. We have business to discuss.
Emmas involved in that business, so she stays.
This is not up for negotiation, Ms. Cavanaugh. Madeline always used my last name when she was frustrated with me. Which was most of the time.
Unless youve recruited a new extractor in the past couple of hours, I dont see that you have much of a choice. You need me. We need each other. And Emma is involved, so she gets to hear everything I get to hear. Until and unless I decided that knowing too much would put her in more danger than she was already in.
Madeline scowled, and a week ago, that alone would have made me give in. But not anymore. Not now that I understood just how many peoples lives were at stake.
