Before We Kiss
Page 15
His voice wasn’t even the slightest bit teasing and he wasn’t smiling, but Dellina wasn’t sure he was sincere, either.
“This job is important to me,” she said.
“I understand that. I promise, nothing will happen between us again.”
She waited, hoping he would add “until after the party,” only he didn’t.
“Thank you,” she murmured, wanting to say that she’d really enjoyed the kiss. It was more the timing that was a problem for her. Only now that seemed inappropriate, as if she were complaining and leading him on in the same breath. Which was pretty much what he did to her when he kissed her and then left her hanging. But she was going to take the high road.
Sex complicated everything, she thought with a sigh.
She pulled several files from her tote and spread them out in front of her. “It’s Friday. The party is a week from today. All the swag has been ordered and will be at my place by Wednesday. I already have the bags so I’ll have plenty of time to load everything. My final walk-through at the hotel is Monday morning. I’m finalizing everything with Heidi tomorrow. Josh is already confirmed for the bike ride, as is the entertainment for the kids. The transportation is in place to CDS for the adult obstacle course, the trip to the town festival, the golf game and the visit to the ranch.”
She went over everything else on the schedule and explained what was done and what still had to be completed. With panic setting in, she wasn’t sleeping well, and that meant plenty of time to clean up her lists.
Sam was quiet until she’d finished. “You’re good,” he said. “Thank you for all of this. The party is going to be a success and you’re the reason. I should have come to you sooner.”
“Yes, you should have but you were afraid. To be honest, I get why. That night was weird.”
One of his dark eyebrows rose. “Weird?”
She smiled. “After. The dresses, the dry-erase board. A little strange. You were scared and it’s okay. I would have been freaked out, too. Now it would be different. You know me so you’d ask a few questions.” She held up her hand. “I’m not implying anything.” Or hinting. Or even wishing—although if she put some thought into it, wishing would be easy.
“I get what you’re saying. We are the victims of bad timing. My mother would say there was a message in that.”
Dellina tried not to smile. “The sexual demonstrations everyone keeps warning me about aren’t enough? She gets messages from the great beyond?”
Sam grinned. “Not exactly but she’s a big believer in paying attention to the little things. I don’t suppose she’s canceled.”
“Sorry, no. She’s confirmed.”
“With me, too. I had a call from my dad last night.”
She leaned toward him. “They’re your parents. Taryn and Larissa have tried to scare me by telling stories, but seriously, they’re, what, in their sixties? How bad can it be?”
“You’ll meet them soon enough. You can decide for yourself.” He relaxed. “I appreciate your attitude in all this. You could have constantly reminded me the scramble for the party was my fault.”
“Not my style.”
“I like your style.” He studied her for a second. “Why isn’t there a Mr. Dellina?”
She laughed. “I’m not sure I’d be okay with a guy who wanted to call himself that. And I don’t know if I want the whole serious boyfriend thing.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just...I don’t know. I raised my sisters so I have a sense of been there, done that. I’m not sure I want a family.”
He continued to watch her.
She shifted some more in her seat, not sure how they’d ended up talking about her instead of the party or even him.
“I do realize not every dating relationship results in a permanent arrangement or children,” she continued. “There was a guy a few years ago. I thought he was great and we were happy, but then he cheated. I broke things off as soon as I found out.”
“And?”
How had he guessed there was more to the story? “She got pregnant and they got married. About a year later he showed up, wanting to know if I was interested in seeing him again.”
“He’d gotten a divorce?”
“No,” she said quietly. “He hadn’t. Which makes him a jerk, but what really bothered me was that he thought I was the kind of person who would be interested in that kind of relationship. I didn’t like what it said about my character.”
Sam grimaced. “It doesn’t say anything, Dellina. You’re right—the guy’s a jerk and he was only thinking of himself. He’d screwed up, he missed you and he was hoping you were as lousy as he was. You told him no.”
“Are you asking or telling?”
“I’m telling. I know you and you’d never do that.”
“You’re right. I felt disgusted just talking to him. They moved away a couple of years ago. Since then, I’ve been busy growing my business. Plus this is a small town. It can be challenging to have a private life. I know from experience it’s hard to see the ex on a daily basis.”
“At least I didn’t have that,” he said. “You know I’m divorced.”
She hesitated. “Taryn gave me Simone’s book. I probably shouldn’t have read it but...”
A muscle tightened by his jaw but otherwise he didn’t react. “It’s like a train wreck,” he told her. “Impossible to ignore. Then you know about our relationship.”
“I know what she said about your marriage. I suspect much of it isn’t exactly true. At best, there are a lot of ways to put a spin on some things.”
Simone had discussed everything from her courtship with Sam to how he performed in bed. She’d detailed his frustration when he’d missed a kick, how everything was always about the team. Dellina suspected she’d wanted her ex to come off as a self-absorbed, spoiled athlete.
“For what it’s worth,” she added, “you come off really well in the book.”
“I’ve read it and you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not. She makes it clear you care about doing the best you can in your work and your relationships. You have concerns about privacy, but why wouldn’t you? From what you’ve told me, your family wasn’t good with boundaries and there’s the whole being a sports legend.”
He gave her a smile. “Now you’re mocking me. I was good. I wasn’t a legend.”
“So modest. It’s refreshing.”
“Not modest. Realistic.” The smile faded. “I tried to keep Simone from publishing the book, but I couldn’t get an injunction. Because I was a national figure, I was considered fair game. The only good news is the judge took her advance and royalties into consideration during the settlement hearings. Simone has to send me fifty percent of every check she gets.”
“Does that help?”
He shrugged. “I send it to charity. I don’t want her money. I want her not to have published the book. But if she hadn’t been that kind of woman, things might have gone better between us.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Hell, no. She was a mistake. I was young and she knew what buttons to push.”
“You have buttons?” She picked up a pen and held it over a sheet of paper. “What might they be?”
“Sorry, no. You’re going to have to figure that out on your own. Besides, it was a long time ago.” Now it was his turn to hesitate before speaking. “I told you I was sick as a kid.”
She nodded.
“I was also small for my age. Basically invisible. I started kicking in tenth grade and I was good, but no girl wants to date some guy three inches shorter than her.”
She tried to reconcile that image with the tall, sexy, muscular man sitting across from her and couldn’t.
“There must have been a transformation at some point,” she said.
“The summer before my senior year. I grew about six inches. During my senior year I added a couple more and then I started to fill out. Add that to a stellar college football career and it all changed. At least for other people. But I was still the same guy. So when Simone came along, I was ripe for the taking.”
“I can’t imagine you vulnerable.”
“Everyone is,” he told her. “It’s just a matter of finding out how.”
She supposed that was true. Now Sam was a successful, worldly businessman, but in college, everything would have been different. He’d gone from the cliché of a ninety-pound weakling to a football god in a matter of a couple of years.
“I hope you don’t hold yourself responsible for what happened between you two,” she said.
“Most days I don’t.” He rose. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”
She grinned. “That’s subtle. You can just say you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore.”
“I don’t want to talk about myself anymore.”
“Then we won’t.”
She collected her folders and followed him to the front of the building. Once there, he lightly touched her arm.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he told her. “I’m keeping my schedule open from Wednesday on. I can run errands, stuff bags, check on the liquor delivery. Just say the word.”
“I might take you up on that.”
“I hope you do.”
She smiled and walked out. On her way back to her place she thought about how nice Sam was and how Simone had obviously been an idiot. Why choose a single book over a guy like Sam? If she were looking for something permanent—
Not that she was, she reminded herself. But for once, her “been there, done that” argument didn’t spring to mind. She admitted, if only to herself and if only for that one time, that there were other reasons she didn’t want to get involved. That they mostly had to do with how devastated she’d been at the unexpected loss of her parents. That between their deaths and her life experiences so far, she’d learned caring came at a price. One she mostly wasn’t willing to pay.
* * *
SAM TAPPED THE screen on the treadmill. He was already jogging and the increase in speed pushed him to a run. Not the smartest thing for his knees, but he would worry about pain and swelling later. Right now he needed to clear his head.
Sweat poured off him. A baseball game played on the big TV on the wall opposite the cardio equipment. He hadn’t bothered with the sound. Because paying attention to who was playing and the score was impossible. Right now, all he could think about was Dellina and how much he wanted her.
He didn’t know what it was about her that got to him. She was pretty, but he knew women who were incredibly attractive who didn’t interest him in the least. It wasn’t her sense of humor, although he liked it. Or how smart she was. Again, he knew lots of intelligent women. So what was it? Why her?
Maybe it was the combination—that indefinable essence. Like in kicking. You could know everything and have talent, but if you didn’t have that gut instinct that told you exactly how to kick the ball, then you weren’t going to be great. And Dellina was great.
She’d been right to call him on his shit. Kissing her like that, then saying it couldn’t go further because they were working together was wrong. He was better than that and she deserved a whole lot more. It was just that when he was around her, he wanted her. Up against a wall, in a bed, the beach, the mountains—he didn’t think it would much matter. As long as they were na**d and she was cl**axing five seconds before he lost it.
The combination of the image and his running made it impossible to breathe. He gave in to the inevitable and slowed the treadmill back to a jog. After picking up the towel, he wiped the sweat from his face.
Kenny walked into the cardio room and raised his eyebrows. “We played basketball this morning.”
“So?”
“Why are you running?” His friend grinned. “Afraid you’re getting fat?”
Sam threw the towel at him and turned off the treadmill. His friend ducked and let the towel sail over his head.
“You’re not that old,” Kenny said cheerfully. “You’ve got another couple years until it all goes to hell.”
“Thanks for the support.”
“Anytime.” Kenny studied him. “What’s up?”
Sam had met both Jack and Kenny in college. Together they’d become an undefeatable triad. Jack could throw farther and faster than any other quarterback in their division and Kenny had both speed and magic hands. When that wasn’t enough, Sam got them out of trouble with a perfect three-point field goal.
Over a million kids played high school football. Statistically one in about seventeen would make it to college ball. And from that pool, about one in fifty was drafted. The odds of making it, let alone making it big, were infinitesimal. But he and his friends had.
After college they’d all been drafted. Jack had gone in the first round and Kenny in the second, to different teams. Nobody wasted an early round pick on a kicker—not since 2000 and look how that had ended. He’d gone in the fourth round for more money than he’d ever hoped.
Four years later, they’d all ended back up together, playing for the L.A. Stallions. They’d won the Super Bowl and been on top of the world. Then Kenny had taken that hit and had to sit out nearly half a season, and Sam had decided it was time to reevaluate. The two of them were ready to retire. Jack had still been on top, but he’d joined them in leaving and had brought them to Score.
“This job is important to me,” she said.
“I understand that. I promise, nothing will happen between us again.”
She waited, hoping he would add “until after the party,” only he didn’t.
“Thank you,” she murmured, wanting to say that she’d really enjoyed the kiss. It was more the timing that was a problem for her. Only now that seemed inappropriate, as if she were complaining and leading him on in the same breath. Which was pretty much what he did to her when he kissed her and then left her hanging. But she was going to take the high road.
Sex complicated everything, she thought with a sigh.
She pulled several files from her tote and spread them out in front of her. “It’s Friday. The party is a week from today. All the swag has been ordered and will be at my place by Wednesday. I already have the bags so I’ll have plenty of time to load everything. My final walk-through at the hotel is Monday morning. I’m finalizing everything with Heidi tomorrow. Josh is already confirmed for the bike ride, as is the entertainment for the kids. The transportation is in place to CDS for the adult obstacle course, the trip to the town festival, the golf game and the visit to the ranch.”
She went over everything else on the schedule and explained what was done and what still had to be completed. With panic setting in, she wasn’t sleeping well, and that meant plenty of time to clean up her lists.
Sam was quiet until she’d finished. “You’re good,” he said. “Thank you for all of this. The party is going to be a success and you’re the reason. I should have come to you sooner.”
“Yes, you should have but you were afraid. To be honest, I get why. That night was weird.”
One of his dark eyebrows rose. “Weird?”
She smiled. “After. The dresses, the dry-erase board. A little strange. You were scared and it’s okay. I would have been freaked out, too. Now it would be different. You know me so you’d ask a few questions.” She held up her hand. “I’m not implying anything.” Or hinting. Or even wishing—although if she put some thought into it, wishing would be easy.
“I get what you’re saying. We are the victims of bad timing. My mother would say there was a message in that.”
Dellina tried not to smile. “The sexual demonstrations everyone keeps warning me about aren’t enough? She gets messages from the great beyond?”
Sam grinned. “Not exactly but she’s a big believer in paying attention to the little things. I don’t suppose she’s canceled.”
“Sorry, no. She’s confirmed.”
“With me, too. I had a call from my dad last night.”
She leaned toward him. “They’re your parents. Taryn and Larissa have tried to scare me by telling stories, but seriously, they’re, what, in their sixties? How bad can it be?”
“You’ll meet them soon enough. You can decide for yourself.” He relaxed. “I appreciate your attitude in all this. You could have constantly reminded me the scramble for the party was my fault.”
“Not my style.”
“I like your style.” He studied her for a second. “Why isn’t there a Mr. Dellina?”
She laughed. “I’m not sure I’d be okay with a guy who wanted to call himself that. And I don’t know if I want the whole serious boyfriend thing.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just...I don’t know. I raised my sisters so I have a sense of been there, done that. I’m not sure I want a family.”
He continued to watch her.
She shifted some more in her seat, not sure how they’d ended up talking about her instead of the party or even him.
“I do realize not every dating relationship results in a permanent arrangement or children,” she continued. “There was a guy a few years ago. I thought he was great and we were happy, but then he cheated. I broke things off as soon as I found out.”
“And?”
How had he guessed there was more to the story? “She got pregnant and they got married. About a year later he showed up, wanting to know if I was interested in seeing him again.”
“He’d gotten a divorce?”
“No,” she said quietly. “He hadn’t. Which makes him a jerk, but what really bothered me was that he thought I was the kind of person who would be interested in that kind of relationship. I didn’t like what it said about my character.”
Sam grimaced. “It doesn’t say anything, Dellina. You’re right—the guy’s a jerk and he was only thinking of himself. He’d screwed up, he missed you and he was hoping you were as lousy as he was. You told him no.”
“Are you asking or telling?”
“I’m telling. I know you and you’d never do that.”
“You’re right. I felt disgusted just talking to him. They moved away a couple of years ago. Since then, I’ve been busy growing my business. Plus this is a small town. It can be challenging to have a private life. I know from experience it’s hard to see the ex on a daily basis.”
“At least I didn’t have that,” he said. “You know I’m divorced.”
She hesitated. “Taryn gave me Simone’s book. I probably shouldn’t have read it but...”
A muscle tightened by his jaw but otherwise he didn’t react. “It’s like a train wreck,” he told her. “Impossible to ignore. Then you know about our relationship.”
“I know what she said about your marriage. I suspect much of it isn’t exactly true. At best, there are a lot of ways to put a spin on some things.”
Simone had discussed everything from her courtship with Sam to how he performed in bed. She’d detailed his frustration when he’d missed a kick, how everything was always about the team. Dellina suspected she’d wanted her ex to come off as a self-absorbed, spoiled athlete.
“For what it’s worth,” she added, “you come off really well in the book.”
“I’ve read it and you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not. She makes it clear you care about doing the best you can in your work and your relationships. You have concerns about privacy, but why wouldn’t you? From what you’ve told me, your family wasn’t good with boundaries and there’s the whole being a sports legend.”
He gave her a smile. “Now you’re mocking me. I was good. I wasn’t a legend.”
“So modest. It’s refreshing.”
“Not modest. Realistic.” The smile faded. “I tried to keep Simone from publishing the book, but I couldn’t get an injunction. Because I was a national figure, I was considered fair game. The only good news is the judge took her advance and royalties into consideration during the settlement hearings. Simone has to send me fifty percent of every check she gets.”
“Does that help?”
He shrugged. “I send it to charity. I don’t want her money. I want her not to have published the book. But if she hadn’t been that kind of woman, things might have gone better between us.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Hell, no. She was a mistake. I was young and she knew what buttons to push.”
“You have buttons?” She picked up a pen and held it over a sheet of paper. “What might they be?”
“Sorry, no. You’re going to have to figure that out on your own. Besides, it was a long time ago.” Now it was his turn to hesitate before speaking. “I told you I was sick as a kid.”
She nodded.
“I was also small for my age. Basically invisible. I started kicking in tenth grade and I was good, but no girl wants to date some guy three inches shorter than her.”
She tried to reconcile that image with the tall, sexy, muscular man sitting across from her and couldn’t.
“There must have been a transformation at some point,” she said.
“The summer before my senior year. I grew about six inches. During my senior year I added a couple more and then I started to fill out. Add that to a stellar college football career and it all changed. At least for other people. But I was still the same guy. So when Simone came along, I was ripe for the taking.”
“I can’t imagine you vulnerable.”
“Everyone is,” he told her. “It’s just a matter of finding out how.”
She supposed that was true. Now Sam was a successful, worldly businessman, but in college, everything would have been different. He’d gone from the cliché of a ninety-pound weakling to a football god in a matter of a couple of years.
“I hope you don’t hold yourself responsible for what happened between you two,” she said.
“Most days I don’t.” He rose. “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”
She grinned. “That’s subtle. You can just say you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore.”
“I don’t want to talk about myself anymore.”
“Then we won’t.”
She collected her folders and followed him to the front of the building. Once there, he lightly touched her arm.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he told her. “I’m keeping my schedule open from Wednesday on. I can run errands, stuff bags, check on the liquor delivery. Just say the word.”
“I might take you up on that.”
“I hope you do.”
She smiled and walked out. On her way back to her place she thought about how nice Sam was and how Simone had obviously been an idiot. Why choose a single book over a guy like Sam? If she were looking for something permanent—
Not that she was, she reminded herself. But for once, her “been there, done that” argument didn’t spring to mind. She admitted, if only to herself and if only for that one time, that there were other reasons she didn’t want to get involved. That they mostly had to do with how devastated she’d been at the unexpected loss of her parents. That between their deaths and her life experiences so far, she’d learned caring came at a price. One she mostly wasn’t willing to pay.
* * *
SAM TAPPED THE screen on the treadmill. He was already jogging and the increase in speed pushed him to a run. Not the smartest thing for his knees, but he would worry about pain and swelling later. Right now he needed to clear his head.
Sweat poured off him. A baseball game played on the big TV on the wall opposite the cardio equipment. He hadn’t bothered with the sound. Because paying attention to who was playing and the score was impossible. Right now, all he could think about was Dellina and how much he wanted her.
He didn’t know what it was about her that got to him. She was pretty, but he knew women who were incredibly attractive who didn’t interest him in the least. It wasn’t her sense of humor, although he liked it. Or how smart she was. Again, he knew lots of intelligent women. So what was it? Why her?
Maybe it was the combination—that indefinable essence. Like in kicking. You could know everything and have talent, but if you didn’t have that gut instinct that told you exactly how to kick the ball, then you weren’t going to be great. And Dellina was great.
She’d been right to call him on his shit. Kissing her like that, then saying it couldn’t go further because they were working together was wrong. He was better than that and she deserved a whole lot more. It was just that when he was around her, he wanted her. Up against a wall, in a bed, the beach, the mountains—he didn’t think it would much matter. As long as they were na**d and she was cl**axing five seconds before he lost it.
The combination of the image and his running made it impossible to breathe. He gave in to the inevitable and slowed the treadmill back to a jog. After picking up the towel, he wiped the sweat from his face.
Kenny walked into the cardio room and raised his eyebrows. “We played basketball this morning.”
“So?”
“Why are you running?” His friend grinned. “Afraid you’re getting fat?”
Sam threw the towel at him and turned off the treadmill. His friend ducked and let the towel sail over his head.
“You’re not that old,” Kenny said cheerfully. “You’ve got another couple years until it all goes to hell.”
“Thanks for the support.”
“Anytime.” Kenny studied him. “What’s up?”
Sam had met both Jack and Kenny in college. Together they’d become an undefeatable triad. Jack could throw farther and faster than any other quarterback in their division and Kenny had both speed and magic hands. When that wasn’t enough, Sam got them out of trouble with a perfect three-point field goal.
Over a million kids played high school football. Statistically one in about seventeen would make it to college ball. And from that pool, about one in fifty was drafted. The odds of making it, let alone making it big, were infinitesimal. But he and his friends had.
After college they’d all been drafted. Jack had gone in the first round and Kenny in the second, to different teams. Nobody wasted an early round pick on a kicker—not since 2000 and look how that had ended. He’d gone in the fourth round for more money than he’d ever hoped.
Four years later, they’d all ended back up together, playing for the L.A. Stallions. They’d won the Super Bowl and been on top of the world. Then Kenny had taken that hit and had to sit out nearly half a season, and Sam had decided it was time to reevaluate. The two of them were ready to retire. Jack had still been on top, but he’d joined them in leaving and had brought them to Score.
