Before We Kiss
Page 36
CHAPTER TWENTY
OVER THE NEXT couple of days Dellina learned that cats made pretty good roommates. The two she’d taken in to foster were quiet and clean. Best of all, they didn’t seem to mind when she cried herself to sleep. The smaller of the two, a little short-haired marmalade, had even jumped onto the bed when her tears had turned into sobs. He’d cuddled close and tried to soothe her with his purr. Unfortunately cat support wasn’t the same as being with the man she loved, but she was going to have to learn to make do.
After fixing her morning coffee, she carried a mug into her office. The cats were already fed and were now sitting in her east-facing kitchen window. Apparently daily grooming was best accomplished in sunlight.
She sat at her desk and turned on her computer. There were several emails from Larissa. The sick cats were still with Cameron while the rest had been sent to their foster homes. She was taking applications for permanent adoptions and would be setting up a booth at the upcoming Book Festival.
There were other emails from clients and a note from Fayrene, who wanted to set up a time to talk about her wedding. Dellina scrolled through the list again, but there was nothing from Sam. She’d already checked her phone and he hadn’t left a message or sent her a text.
Not that she had expected he would. But it would have been nice to hear from him.
One of the cats rubbed against her leg. She bent down and petted him, scratching behind his ears.
She wasn’t sorry for telling Sam the truth—despite the outcome. Mostly because she’d been brave. She’d put her feelings into words. She’d been honest and if he was too stupid to figure out she was a prize worth pursuing, then she was better off without him.
“Or not,” she murmured. While she wouldn’t take back telling him what she felt, she sure would have liked a better response. Something slightly more neutral than disappearing from her life.
She brushed away tears she hadn’t realized were falling, then turned her attention to her email. She had a business to run and a life to live. She needed to get on with things. As for her broken heart... Well, that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but she would figure a way to deal. She always had before.
* * *
SAM HAD DONE his best to figure out a way to avoid his second lecture on finances and small businesses. The last thing he’d wanted to do was have to face people who would be angry with him because of Dellina. He wasn’t sure which was going to be worse. The accusations or the fact that so many people knew about what had happened.
But no one had said a word. The crowd was larger this time. He’d kept his lecture short and gone into the Q and A. Now nearly an hour into answering questions, he finally accepted that the reason no one was saying anything was that no one knew. Dellina hadn’t told anyone.
“Yes, online banking is safe,” he said. “Just make sure you follow all the protocols. Also, you want an extremely secure password. That means avoiding passwords that are your business name or your kid’s birthday. Anything else?”
When no one asked another question, he thanked them for coming and collected his notes.
The people attending stood and began talking to one another. He heard snippets of conversation about the cat rescue and the start of the upcoming Book Festival. But not a word about him and Dellina.
Hadn’t she told her friends what had happened? Didn’t she want to get drunk and call him names? Or say that she missed him? Except the latter was wishful thinking, he told himself. Just because he wanted to go see her, to explain, to...
To what? Ask her to put things back the way they had been before? It wasn’t possible. The words had been said. She loved him.
Sam closed his briefcase and wished he could put a fist through the wall. She loved him. Dammit all to hell but he wanted to believe her. Wanted to think they could make it work. Because if there was anyone whom he could trust, it was her.
Except he knew what would happen. Oh, not the specifics, but the outcome. Something terrible would end things. Some disaster. It had always been that way. He had the scars to prove it. Dellina couldn’t possibly be different. But he sure wanted her to be.
He started toward the door. Patience stopped him.
“My accountant is thrilled with my new financial literacy,” she told him. “Thank you so much for doing this. I know it’s a big-time suck for you and probably not very interesting, but it’s helping so much.” She wrinkled her nose. “I have a degree in business and put together a financial plan for Brew-haha, but none of that prepared me for real-world problems.”
“I’m happy to help,” he said. “Believe it or not, I like doing this.”
“I’m glad. With your help, we’re all going to do better.”
A few more people spoke to him before he left. They were all pleasant and complimentary.
Rather than heading directly back to Score, Sam walked through town. He found himself nodding at people he didn’t know and speaking to those he did. And he knew a lot. He couldn’t go more than half a block without having to stop and talk to someone who wanted to know about the cat rescue or mention how nice his guests had been over that weekend.
Speaking of the cats, there were signs everywhere with pictures and a number to call. Apparently Larissa was going to host an adoption booth at the upcoming festival. Sam thought about his empty house. Because when he’d walked away, he hadn’t bothered taking any cats with him. Nor had he thought to mention his willingness to foster with Larissa. From what he could tell—that didn’t matter. She had plenty of help from the town.
Why was that? he wondered. Why would people who didn’t really know her help? He thought about all the people who had shown up with carriers and food and offers to drive to pick up cats. It was this town, he thought. This same damn town that didn’t talk to Simone and had made the entire Score family feel welcome.
He turned at the corner and walked to the office. When he got there, he went directly into Taryn’s office and shut the door. She was on the phone but when she saw him she told her caller, “I need to get back to you....Later today....Yes, of course.”
When she hung up, she motioned for the seat opposite her desk. “What’s up?”
He put down his briefcase, but couldn’t sit. He had to keep moving. “I don’t know. This town.”
“What about it?”
“Everyone’s so nice.”
She laughed. “Yes, I found that annoying at first, but now I go with it. It beats the alternative.” She stood and crossed to him. “Sam, what’s the real problem?”
She stared at him with her beautiful violet-blue eyes. She was lovely. Smart, bitchy, gorgeous. Why hadn’t he fallen for her? He understood her. He trusted her. Only she’d been married to Jack once and there’d never been any chemistry and he knew in his gut he would be having the same doubt regardless of who the woman was. Because he was the problem.
“How did you know?” he asked.
He expected her to ask about what, but this was Taryn and she understood her “boys” better than anyone else.
“About Angel? I just did,” she told him, taking his hands in hers. “It’s a feeling in your gut and your heart. It’s more than attraction and more than need. It’s about connecting. It’s about wanting to share everything for as long as you have on this earth.”
Her words made him ache. Yes, he thought. He wanted that with Dellina. But how could he believe?
“Trust is hard,” he said.
“It is.” She led him to the sofa in her office and sat angled toward him. “We were all betrayed in different ways. The four of us. We’re so messed up. You with all your disasters. Kenny with, well, we know what happened there. Me with my father.” She paused. “He used to hit me.”
Sam hadn’t known. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I got away and he’s gone now. And Jack with his brother. Each one of us had been betrayed or hurt and that made us scared. Which means it comes down to a choice. What do you want, Sam? Do you want to be ruled by that fear? Or do you want to take a chance on a wonderful woman who’s fallen madly in love with you?”
“She told you?”
“No. I could see it. We can all see it.”
“I couldn’t.”
“You’re an idiot.” She spoke the words kindly. “I love you, Sam. You’re my family. So I see the good and the bad in you. You’re stubborn and set in your ways.”
So much for expecting compliments. “Those sort of mean the same thing.”
“Yeah, which is my point. Get that stick out of your ass and go tell her you love her back. Marry her and make beautiful babies together.”
Was it as simple as that? Did he just decide to trust? Did he believe in Dellina because...because...
“I’m in love with her.”
Taryn rolled her eyes. “Hallelujah.”
He stared at her. “You knew?”
“Yes. I knew. You escaped to her house when your parents were in town. You were upset when you missed the cat rescue and you’ve never cared much about Larissa’s causes before. Dear God, Sam, you’re helping local businesses on purpose. It’s all Dellina.” She patted his cheek. “Don’t worry. Men are emotionally simple. You can’t help it.”
He grabbed her by her upper arms. “You don’t understand. She told me she loved me and I walked away. How do I make that right? How do I fix it?”
Taryn sighed. “Wow. That was really stupid. You’re going to have to go all out to make it up to her.”
“Is it fixable?”
She smiled. “Of course it is. Angel did the same thing to me and I forgave him. Dellina loves you, you idiot. She’s not going to lose you now. But we’re going to need a plan.”
* * *
DELLINA SMILED AS she walked through the crowd. Faking normalcy wasn’t too difficult. As long as she didn’t think about Sam or missing him or how they were never going to be together, she could fake it pretty well.
She’d decided to make an appearance at the Book Festival so that no one would suspect she was breaking on the inside. Two hours, she’d told herself. Just two hours. Then she would retreat to her small house and sit with her cats and wait for her heart to stop hurting so much.
She crossed the street and headed for the park. There were booths everywhere—as there were at most festivals. Usually she indulged in something yummy, but these days she couldn’t eat. Instead she concentrated on smiling and calling out greetings.
There were signs announcing various author signings all day today and tomorrow. She saw Larissa’s booth right by the park. The big adopt a cat sign made the purpose clear. For those from out of town, an application with references was required. Even so, there was a line of people interested in talking about adopting one of the rescue kitties.
Dellina figured she was going to have to make a decision about her two. If she was keeping them, she needed to let Larissa know. Otherwise, they would be whisked away.
She saw Taryn and waved. The other woman walked over to her.
“How’s it going?”
“Well,” Dellina lied. “I have an actual Saturday off. It’s exciting.”
“I’ll bet. Angel and I are going to have to decide what we want to do. I don’t know. A big wedding sounds like a pain in the ass.”
“Not if you let me handle it. Plus, think about the killer dress you could wear.”
Taryn grinned. “I do love a killer dress.” She glanced at her watch. “Come on. There’s going to be a band onstage.”
The stage in the park, Dellina thought, not really in the mood for music. “Thanks, but I need to be going.”
“No, you don’t. You’re coming with me.”
Taryn sounded serious.
“Okay. Just for a few minutes.” Because she could feel herself starting to fall apart. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of Taryn. The other woman would want to know why and Dellina didn’t want to tell her what had happened.
Taryn led the way to the stage and stopped right in front of it. “Wait here,” she said.
“Wait for what?”
“You’ll see.”
A couple of minutes later, Mayor Marsha walked onto the stage.
“Welcome to our annual Book Festival,” she said. “I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. We have an amazing lineup of authors with us this year.”
People around them cheered.
“Good. Have a safe and happy weekend here in Fool’s Gold. In case you haven’t heard, we have a new town motto. The Destination for Romance. I have a few announcements before the afternoon program starts.”
She went on to talk about the cats and the adoption booth. How there was no parking inside the festival zone and that the evening concert would start promptly at seven.
Dellina turned to Taryn. “You said there was a band this afternoon.”
“Did I?” Taryn shrugged. “I must have been mistaken.”
“My name is Sam Ridge.”
Dellina spun back to face the stage and saw Sam had taken the microphone. Seeing him was the best and worst part of her day. She longed to feel his arms around her and, at the same time, wanted to run away and hide.
“What is he doing up there?” she asked.
“I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.”
“My business partners and I moved here last fall. We relocated our company, bought homes and settled into life here.” His dark gaze scanned the crowd, then he found her. “We made friends and some of us fell in love.”
What? Did he mean him or her? Was he talking about himself? She found herself inching forward.
OVER THE NEXT couple of days Dellina learned that cats made pretty good roommates. The two she’d taken in to foster were quiet and clean. Best of all, they didn’t seem to mind when she cried herself to sleep. The smaller of the two, a little short-haired marmalade, had even jumped onto the bed when her tears had turned into sobs. He’d cuddled close and tried to soothe her with his purr. Unfortunately cat support wasn’t the same as being with the man she loved, but she was going to have to learn to make do.
After fixing her morning coffee, she carried a mug into her office. The cats were already fed and were now sitting in her east-facing kitchen window. Apparently daily grooming was best accomplished in sunlight.
She sat at her desk and turned on her computer. There were several emails from Larissa. The sick cats were still with Cameron while the rest had been sent to their foster homes. She was taking applications for permanent adoptions and would be setting up a booth at the upcoming Book Festival.
There were other emails from clients and a note from Fayrene, who wanted to set up a time to talk about her wedding. Dellina scrolled through the list again, but there was nothing from Sam. She’d already checked her phone and he hadn’t left a message or sent her a text.
Not that she had expected he would. But it would have been nice to hear from him.
One of the cats rubbed against her leg. She bent down and petted him, scratching behind his ears.
She wasn’t sorry for telling Sam the truth—despite the outcome. Mostly because she’d been brave. She’d put her feelings into words. She’d been honest and if he was too stupid to figure out she was a prize worth pursuing, then she was better off without him.
“Or not,” she murmured. While she wouldn’t take back telling him what she felt, she sure would have liked a better response. Something slightly more neutral than disappearing from her life.
She brushed away tears she hadn’t realized were falling, then turned her attention to her email. She had a business to run and a life to live. She needed to get on with things. As for her broken heart... Well, that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but she would figure a way to deal. She always had before.
* * *
SAM HAD DONE his best to figure out a way to avoid his second lecture on finances and small businesses. The last thing he’d wanted to do was have to face people who would be angry with him because of Dellina. He wasn’t sure which was going to be worse. The accusations or the fact that so many people knew about what had happened.
But no one had said a word. The crowd was larger this time. He’d kept his lecture short and gone into the Q and A. Now nearly an hour into answering questions, he finally accepted that the reason no one was saying anything was that no one knew. Dellina hadn’t told anyone.
“Yes, online banking is safe,” he said. “Just make sure you follow all the protocols. Also, you want an extremely secure password. That means avoiding passwords that are your business name or your kid’s birthday. Anything else?”
When no one asked another question, he thanked them for coming and collected his notes.
The people attending stood and began talking to one another. He heard snippets of conversation about the cat rescue and the start of the upcoming Book Festival. But not a word about him and Dellina.
Hadn’t she told her friends what had happened? Didn’t she want to get drunk and call him names? Or say that she missed him? Except the latter was wishful thinking, he told himself. Just because he wanted to go see her, to explain, to...
To what? Ask her to put things back the way they had been before? It wasn’t possible. The words had been said. She loved him.
Sam closed his briefcase and wished he could put a fist through the wall. She loved him. Dammit all to hell but he wanted to believe her. Wanted to think they could make it work. Because if there was anyone whom he could trust, it was her.
Except he knew what would happen. Oh, not the specifics, but the outcome. Something terrible would end things. Some disaster. It had always been that way. He had the scars to prove it. Dellina couldn’t possibly be different. But he sure wanted her to be.
He started toward the door. Patience stopped him.
“My accountant is thrilled with my new financial literacy,” she told him. “Thank you so much for doing this. I know it’s a big-time suck for you and probably not very interesting, but it’s helping so much.” She wrinkled her nose. “I have a degree in business and put together a financial plan for Brew-haha, but none of that prepared me for real-world problems.”
“I’m happy to help,” he said. “Believe it or not, I like doing this.”
“I’m glad. With your help, we’re all going to do better.”
A few more people spoke to him before he left. They were all pleasant and complimentary.
Rather than heading directly back to Score, Sam walked through town. He found himself nodding at people he didn’t know and speaking to those he did. And he knew a lot. He couldn’t go more than half a block without having to stop and talk to someone who wanted to know about the cat rescue or mention how nice his guests had been over that weekend.
Speaking of the cats, there were signs everywhere with pictures and a number to call. Apparently Larissa was going to host an adoption booth at the upcoming festival. Sam thought about his empty house. Because when he’d walked away, he hadn’t bothered taking any cats with him. Nor had he thought to mention his willingness to foster with Larissa. From what he could tell—that didn’t matter. She had plenty of help from the town.
Why was that? he wondered. Why would people who didn’t really know her help? He thought about all the people who had shown up with carriers and food and offers to drive to pick up cats. It was this town, he thought. This same damn town that didn’t talk to Simone and had made the entire Score family feel welcome.
He turned at the corner and walked to the office. When he got there, he went directly into Taryn’s office and shut the door. She was on the phone but when she saw him she told her caller, “I need to get back to you....Later today....Yes, of course.”
When she hung up, she motioned for the seat opposite her desk. “What’s up?”
He put down his briefcase, but couldn’t sit. He had to keep moving. “I don’t know. This town.”
“What about it?”
“Everyone’s so nice.”
She laughed. “Yes, I found that annoying at first, but now I go with it. It beats the alternative.” She stood and crossed to him. “Sam, what’s the real problem?”
She stared at him with her beautiful violet-blue eyes. She was lovely. Smart, bitchy, gorgeous. Why hadn’t he fallen for her? He understood her. He trusted her. Only she’d been married to Jack once and there’d never been any chemistry and he knew in his gut he would be having the same doubt regardless of who the woman was. Because he was the problem.
“How did you know?” he asked.
He expected her to ask about what, but this was Taryn and she understood her “boys” better than anyone else.
“About Angel? I just did,” she told him, taking his hands in hers. “It’s a feeling in your gut and your heart. It’s more than attraction and more than need. It’s about connecting. It’s about wanting to share everything for as long as you have on this earth.”
Her words made him ache. Yes, he thought. He wanted that with Dellina. But how could he believe?
“Trust is hard,” he said.
“It is.” She led him to the sofa in her office and sat angled toward him. “We were all betrayed in different ways. The four of us. We’re so messed up. You with all your disasters. Kenny with, well, we know what happened there. Me with my father.” She paused. “He used to hit me.”
Sam hadn’t known. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I got away and he’s gone now. And Jack with his brother. Each one of us had been betrayed or hurt and that made us scared. Which means it comes down to a choice. What do you want, Sam? Do you want to be ruled by that fear? Or do you want to take a chance on a wonderful woman who’s fallen madly in love with you?”
“She told you?”
“No. I could see it. We can all see it.”
“I couldn’t.”
“You’re an idiot.” She spoke the words kindly. “I love you, Sam. You’re my family. So I see the good and the bad in you. You’re stubborn and set in your ways.”
So much for expecting compliments. “Those sort of mean the same thing.”
“Yeah, which is my point. Get that stick out of your ass and go tell her you love her back. Marry her and make beautiful babies together.”
Was it as simple as that? Did he just decide to trust? Did he believe in Dellina because...because...
“I’m in love with her.”
Taryn rolled her eyes. “Hallelujah.”
He stared at her. “You knew?”
“Yes. I knew. You escaped to her house when your parents were in town. You were upset when you missed the cat rescue and you’ve never cared much about Larissa’s causes before. Dear God, Sam, you’re helping local businesses on purpose. It’s all Dellina.” She patted his cheek. “Don’t worry. Men are emotionally simple. You can’t help it.”
He grabbed her by her upper arms. “You don’t understand. She told me she loved me and I walked away. How do I make that right? How do I fix it?”
Taryn sighed. “Wow. That was really stupid. You’re going to have to go all out to make it up to her.”
“Is it fixable?”
She smiled. “Of course it is. Angel did the same thing to me and I forgave him. Dellina loves you, you idiot. She’s not going to lose you now. But we’re going to need a plan.”
* * *
DELLINA SMILED AS she walked through the crowd. Faking normalcy wasn’t too difficult. As long as she didn’t think about Sam or missing him or how they were never going to be together, she could fake it pretty well.
She’d decided to make an appearance at the Book Festival so that no one would suspect she was breaking on the inside. Two hours, she’d told herself. Just two hours. Then she would retreat to her small house and sit with her cats and wait for her heart to stop hurting so much.
She crossed the street and headed for the park. There were booths everywhere—as there were at most festivals. Usually she indulged in something yummy, but these days she couldn’t eat. Instead she concentrated on smiling and calling out greetings.
There were signs announcing various author signings all day today and tomorrow. She saw Larissa’s booth right by the park. The big adopt a cat sign made the purpose clear. For those from out of town, an application with references was required. Even so, there was a line of people interested in talking about adopting one of the rescue kitties.
Dellina figured she was going to have to make a decision about her two. If she was keeping them, she needed to let Larissa know. Otherwise, they would be whisked away.
She saw Taryn and waved. The other woman walked over to her.
“How’s it going?”
“Well,” Dellina lied. “I have an actual Saturday off. It’s exciting.”
“I’ll bet. Angel and I are going to have to decide what we want to do. I don’t know. A big wedding sounds like a pain in the ass.”
“Not if you let me handle it. Plus, think about the killer dress you could wear.”
Taryn grinned. “I do love a killer dress.” She glanced at her watch. “Come on. There’s going to be a band onstage.”
The stage in the park, Dellina thought, not really in the mood for music. “Thanks, but I need to be going.”
“No, you don’t. You’re coming with me.”
Taryn sounded serious.
“Okay. Just for a few minutes.” Because she could feel herself starting to fall apart. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of Taryn. The other woman would want to know why and Dellina didn’t want to tell her what had happened.
Taryn led the way to the stage and stopped right in front of it. “Wait here,” she said.
“Wait for what?”
“You’ll see.”
A couple of minutes later, Mayor Marsha walked onto the stage.
“Welcome to our annual Book Festival,” she said. “I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. We have an amazing lineup of authors with us this year.”
People around them cheered.
“Good. Have a safe and happy weekend here in Fool’s Gold. In case you haven’t heard, we have a new town motto. The Destination for Romance. I have a few announcements before the afternoon program starts.”
She went on to talk about the cats and the adoption booth. How there was no parking inside the festival zone and that the evening concert would start promptly at seven.
Dellina turned to Taryn. “You said there was a band this afternoon.”
“Did I?” Taryn shrugged. “I must have been mistaken.”
“My name is Sam Ridge.”
Dellina spun back to face the stage and saw Sam had taken the microphone. Seeing him was the best and worst part of her day. She longed to feel his arms around her and, at the same time, wanted to run away and hide.
“What is he doing up there?” she asked.
“I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.”
“My business partners and I moved here last fall. We relocated our company, bought homes and settled into life here.” His dark gaze scanned the crowd, then he found her. “We made friends and some of us fell in love.”
What? Did he mean him or her? Was he talking about himself? She found herself inching forward.
